This first one's from @SoupyMcSoupFace.

第一個來自 @SoupyMcSoupface.[笑聲]

He says, "My boss refused to correct my name badge which said 'Brain' instead of 'Brian.' He said, 'You're Brain now, so deal with it.'"

他說：「我的老闆拒絕把名牌上的『Brain』更正為我的名字『Brian』，他說『你現在就叫 Brain (大腦），接受現實吧！』」[笑聲和掌聲]

Right. Okay, Brain?

好呦。Brain (大腦)，對吧？

Nope. Now I'm Soupy McSoupface.

不對。我現在叫做 Soupy McSoupface。

Yeah.

好喔。

I'll show...I'll show him. I'll show him, yeah.

我會秀...我會秀給他看！我會秀給他看！沒錯。[笑聲]

"You call me Brain, man?"

「你叫我大腦？」

"You can't call me Brain at all, man." "Call me Soupy McSoupface."

「你不能叫我大腦。」「叫我 Soupy McSoupface。」

This one is from @toshoonly.

這個故事來自 @toshoonly。

Toshoonly.

Toshoonly。

"To" like t-o.

「To」就是 t-o。

Like "too shoon"?

就像「太 shoon 」？

Toshoon.

Toshoon。

It's been too shoon. Too shoon. Too soon.

這太 shoon 了。太 shoon了吧。太 soon。[笑聲]

Toshoonly. She says, "My boss made me give him piggyback rides after we mopped the floors every night so there would be fewer footprints."

Toshoonly。她說：「每天晚上拖完地後，我的老闆要我背著他走，這樣腳印就會比較少。」[笑聲和掌聲]

What?!

什麼？！

Giddy-up! Giddy-up!

駕！駕！

Let's go! Come on! Come on, Brain!

出發了！快一點！快一點，大腦！

What in the world? "Come on, Brain!"

這到底是怎麼回事？「快一點，大腦！」

"Don't be slippin' on that wet floor! Piso mojado!"

「別在濕地板上滑倒！小心地面濕滑！」[笑聲]

This one's from @bren_nancarrow.

這個故事來自 @brennancarrow。

She says, "I babysat this kid who kept pointing at me and saying, 'You're next.' After the fourth time, I gave my two weeks notice."

她說：「我當保姆照顧這個孩子，他一直指著我說：『下一個就是妳。』，第四次之後，我就提出辭呈了。」[笑聲和掌聲]

You're next.

下一個就是妳。

You're next.

[低沉的嗓音] 下一個就是妳。

Redrum, Mrs. Torrance.

[粗啞的嗓音] Redrum，Torrance 夫人 (電影《鬼店》台詞)[笑聲]

This one's from @KSchmooze.

這個故事來自 ＠kschmooze。[笑聲]

That's her real last name. Yeah, that's her last name.

這真的是她的姓氏。是啊，那是她的姓氏。

Yeah, Schmooze. Kathryn Schmooze.

沒錯，Schmooze。Kathryn Schmooze。

Kathryn Schmooze.

Kathryn Schmooze。[笑聲]

She says, "My old job had a phone in the restroom. Our boss would call it if he thought you'd been in there too long."

她說：「我以前工作地方的洗手間裡有電話。如果老闆認為你在裡面待太久，他會打電話給你。」

Oh! Come on, man.

噢！天啊，拜託。

That's not good. What? Come on, dude.

這樣不好吧。什麼？太誇張了啦。

Come on, man.

太誇張了。

This one's from @Johnathan_Young_.

這個故事來自 Johnathan_Young_。

He said, "My boss asked if I had a knife to open a box. I gave her one. I was later written up for having a knife at work."

他說：「老闆問我是否有一把小刀來打開箱子。我拿給她之後，我被要求寫報告為什麼會帶小刀來工作。」

Come on. That's entrapment!

拜託。那是一個圈套！

Come on, that's catch-22.

這簡直是第 22 條軍規 (進退兩難的局面)。[笑聲]

Hey, Brain, you got a knife?

嘿，大腦，你有小刀嗎？

Yeah, yeah, Brain.

對啊，大腦。

This one's from @YZracer81.

這個故事來自 @yzracer81。

He says, "I made a mistake at work and my boss called me up to chew me out. At the end of the conversation he made me say, 'I've been a bad boy.'"

他說：「我在工作中犯了錯，老闆叫我起來並嚴厲責備我。談話結束時，他要我說『我壞壞不乖』。」

I don't...I don't know.

我不...我不懂。

That wasn't about work.

這跟工作無關吧。[笑聲]

I don't know, man. Yeah.

我真的不懂耶！對啊。

This one is from @CaptainHarris1.

這個故事來自 @Captainharris1。

He says, "I worked at a convenience store for one day. I quit when I saw the instructions for 'what to do when you get robbed.' Not 'if' - 'WHEN.'"

他說：「我在便利商店只工作一天。我看到『當你被搶劫時該怎麼辦』的指示就辭職不幹了。上面寫的不是『如果』，而是『當你被搶劫時』。」

This place gets robbed?

這個地方經常發生搶劫？

A lot. I'm getting out of here.

很常。我要離開這裡。[掌聲]

Last one's from @verambassi.

最後一個來自 ＠verambassi。

She says, "Instead of hitting the 1 key for the number of copies, I typed 1111 and couldn't make the printer stop. I left before they finished."

她說：「我列印時沒有按數字 1 的按鈕，而是打出 1111 且又關不掉印表機。在列印結束前我就離開了。」

I'm taking off. There you have it. Those are our "Tonight Show" hashtags.

我要離開了。懂了吧。那些就是「今夜秀」的#分享。

To check out more of our favorites,

想看更多我們的影片，

go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.

前往 tonightshow.come/hastags 的網址連結。