leaving not a trace I was ever here, let alone that I just birthed a creamy behemoth from my cavernous bowels.

不留下一點蹤跡，更不用提我剛才從腸道產出的奶油怪獸

Nothing is worse than stinking up the shared toilet at work,

沒什麼比搞臭工作中的公共廁所

or the toilet at a party,

或是趴踢上的廁所

Or your lover's apartment.

或是愛人的公寓要更糟了

Of course, flushing removes the graphic evidence.

當然，沖水可以移除表面證據。

Maybe two or three flushes, if your skid mark is as tenacious as mine.

也許要沖水兩三次，如果你大號的煞車痕跟我的一樣頑強

But what can be done of that subtle scent of a 300-cow dairy farm?

但什麼能處理那有著三百隻牛的酪農牧場的隱約氣味呢

Aerosol air fresheners aren't the most effective option, or the healthiest

空氣噴霧芳香劑不是最有效的，也不是最健康的選擇

trying to mask the stench, giving you a nice blend of chem-lab carnations with just a touch of feces?

用來去掩蓋那些臭味，它會帶給你人工康乃馨香味加上一點大號的混雜氣味

So, how do you make the world believe your poop doesn't stink,

所以，你要如何讓大家相信你的大號不會臭，

or in fact, that you never poop at all?

或實際上，你根本不大號呢？

Poo~Pourri.

「噗噗麗」

Poo~Pourri is the before-you-go toilet spray that is proven to trap those embarrassing odors at the source,

「噗噗麗」是個被證實能從根源處壓抑那尷尬氣味的事前廁所噴霧

and, save your relationships.

並且，還能拯救你的感情

Simply spritz Poo~Pourri in the bowl to create a film on the water's surface

只要在馬桶噴灑噗噗麗，它就會在水面形成一片薄膜

that actually traps the odors in its porcelain prison.

它能將氣味困在陶瓷監獄內

And when your little ass-tronauts splash down and make contact with the film,

當你的小太空便便人濺下與薄膜接觸，

they release Poo-pourri's pleasant aromas so all those around you smell is a refreshing bouquet of essential oils.

它就會釋放噗噗麗美妙香氣，而你身邊的人就可以聞到精油香氣

Yes, it is a real product. And yes it really works.

是的，這是真實存在的產品。是的，它真的有效

We've sold over 4 Million bottles. On Amazon alone, there are over 1000 reviews

我們已經賣了四百萬瓶。光在亞馬遜就有超過一千條評價

rating it 4.8 of 5 stars. That's a better Amazon rating than the iPhone 5.

滿分5分中它獲得4.8顆星。這可是比哀鳳五評價還好呢

If it doesn't completely stop your stench from spreading, send it back for a full refund.

如果它無法完全停止你的臭味散播，寄回來，幫你全額退費

Our unconditional stink-free guarantee.

我們有無條件的無臭保證

If your poop stinks click here to get your Poo-pourri today at Poopourri.com.

如果你的便便會臭，今天就點擊這邊 Poopourri.com 來買你的噗噗麗

So whether you need to “pinch a loaf" at work,

所以無論你在工作時必須「用力擠出一條麵包」，

cut a rope at a party or lay a brick at your boyfriend's,

在趴踢上「剪繩索」,或在男友家「下一塊磚頭」，

your days of embarrassing smells or prairie dogging it are over.

你的尷尬氣味或是快要忍不住的日子已經過去了

Poo~Pourri, our business is to make it smell like your business never even happened.

噗噗麗，我們的工作就是讓你的「工作」聞起來像是從來沒發生過