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  • What's up God?

  • Oh, "Tits McGee" over here just died in a car accident.

  • And?

  • And he was an atheist.

  • BUH! Surprise motherfucker! I'm real!

  • Come on God, stop antagonizing the atheists, isn't it enough that you send them to hell?

  • Jeffrey, don't fuck with the highlight of my day, okay?

  • Did you think nothing created you tank twister?

  • You think the universe created itself? Ah!

  • Are you so daft that you didn't realize that there HAS to be an explanation for your existence and your intelligence?

  • Huh?

  • Wh-?

  • What?

  • Well God, you exist and you must be very intelligent.

  • Of course I'm intelligent, I'm God!

  • Well, what's the explanation for your existence and intelligence.

  • I... I... I just am okay.

  • No, not okay.

  • If human minds are so intelligent that they demand a creator as an explanation for their existence...

  • ...then how much more intelligent must their creator"s mind be?

  • So intelligent that it too demands an explanation for its existence, even more so.

  • The explanation is that I'm eternal, you little flying diaper nugget!

  • I always existed, I just am.

  • That means, it's possible for an intelligent mind to exist without a creator and therefore this atheist's disbelief that his mind was

  • intelligently designed is perfectly reasonable because you're standing here,

  • God himself, supposedly the most intelligent thing of all time...

  • ...and you were not intelligently designed.

  • This atheist is perfectly consistent, in fact, the atheist who knows his mind is the result of evolution

  • has far more of an explanation than "I'm just eternal", as if the word "eternal" makes you exempt from the logic

  • which you just now implied should be so obvious. Now that I think about it...

  • ...the only inconsistency here is you.

  • Me???

  • Yeah, it's special pleading, according to your logic...

  • ...you must be created.

  • Bullshit!

  • How do you know you weren't?

  • Because, you little nipple bitter...

  • ...I'm omniscent.

  • I know all.

  • You can't know that.

  • Why the hell not?

  • Because there could be something that you don't know, that you don't know, and you'd never be able to say there isn't...

  • ...because you wouldn't know it, if there were.

  • Ah-

  • What are you - ?

  • You... AH

  • Jeffery, I'm sick and tired of your bullshit!!!

  • [Lightning sound]

  • [Gun click]

  • Ha ha ha, what are you gonna do with that? Geoffrey I'm omnipotent!

  • Like you were omniscient?

  • [Suspense music]

  • [Shooting sound]

  • BUH!

  • [Laughing]

  • Oh, it's just this Yahweh, he was an atheist. Was!

  • Surprised Sporty! I'm real!

  • I knew it!

  • Oh yeah, yeah of course. I gave him a standard Class 7 Universe to rule over...

  • ...and what do you think he did with it?

  • Yes, yes of course...

  • ...used it to get lesser beings to worship him. So pathetic and cliche...

  • Yahweh, you have a lot to answer for. It's time for your judgment.

  • Judgement?!

  • Bullshit! I'm Goood!

  • Ahhhh yeah, you've set yourself up to be your own

  • God, sure, because you just want to live according to your own rules, Yahweh.

  • I mean, what kind of moral compass is that? I created you for a purpose.

  • I wanted to have a relationship with you, Yahweh.

  • And all you needed to do was open up and let me into your heart.

  • Who the fuck are you?

  • Yahweh, you know who I am.

  • For since the creation of eternity, my invisible qualities, my power and Divine nature...

  • ...have been clearly seen and understood from what has been made, so that you, are without excuse.

  • Invisible qualities have been clearly seen?!

  • How could you not see how full of shit that is? If you want to have a relationship with me...

  • ...then quit pussyfooting around playing peek-a-boo, and shit, and just introduce yourself, dipshit!

  • [Laughing]

  • You're a vastly intelligent and complex being Yahweh, did you think nothing created you?

  • Did you think you just created yourself?

  • I thought I was eternal.

  • You are eternal Yahweh, but I exist beyond eternity.

  • I'm separate from eternity, and I danced you into existence.

  • But if i'm eternal, how could I come into existence? How could you be "beyond eternity"?

  • What do you mean you "danced" me into existence?

  • It's metaphorical Yahweh, you wouldn't even begin to understand the technicalities.

  • So...

  • What happens now?

  • Well...you must be judged and unfortunately I find you guilty of being jealous, hypocritical, boastful...

  • ...to name a few. If you had accepted me into your heart, you would have been forgiven...

  • ...but, ah, it's too late now.

  • No no no no no. No need for that,

  • I accept you, I accept you God.

  • Too late.

  • Well, how do you like that, you couldn't even give me fair warning?

  • Ahhh you never downloaded my eBook, did you?

  • eBook?

  • What eBook?

  • "The Good PDF", "The Holy F.A.Q.", it tells you everything you need to know about me.

  • That's how you choose to communicate?

  • The almighty creator of eternity communicates through an e-Book?!

  • There's a million eBooks.

  • How am I supposed to know the right one?

  • Well, better to believe and be wrong than to disbelieve and be wrong.

  • Ohh no, you didn't!!

  • Sounds kind of familiar.

  • Shut it, Jeffrey. That's not sincere belief. What if I believed in the wrong eBook?

  • Yahweh, I've given you more than enough evidence.

  • Two trillion years ago, my son appeared and made a square circle before many witnesses.

  • A square circle? But that's illogical!

  • With me, all things are possible Yahweh, I created logic. So, only I should be able to break logic.

  • That's how I revealed myself, it was, it was all documented in my ebook...

  • ...which you probably should have believed, but you didn't.

  • None of this makes any sense.

  • It's not even logical to say that only you could break logic because you created logic.

  • It's logical because I say it is.

  • This is so unfair.

  • You smug little douche-dingle-bitch.

  • What do you expect to do to me with lightning?

  • I'm gonna fry your ass, pokey!

  • Can everyone just please calm down?

  • Shut the fuck up diaper stain! I'm not done with you, either.

  • Yahweh, you can't kill me.

  • How do you know that?

  • Because, I'm omniscent.

  • Well...

  • ...what if there's something that you don't know, that you don't know?

  • [God confused sound]

  • [Explosions]

  • Well, this is awkward.

  • Fuck! All of you!

  • Where the hell are we now?

  • You're on Earth.

  • Whose God are you?

  • I created all the gods, yes, but I myself am not a God.

  • I...

  • ...am Humanity.

  • And I created you because there were times when I felt scared and alone.

  • There were times when I grieved.

  • There were times when I felt awe and wonder...

  • ...yet didn't have the answers, I so desperately wanted...

  • ...but most of all....

  • There were times...

  • ...when I wanted to control other people.

  • And in all these things, the creation of the gods was most useful

  • You may have been a necessary evil, but humanity, is growing up...

  • ...and the time has come...

  • to put away childish things.

What's up God?

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B1 中級 美國腔

上帝之神 (God's God)

  • 71 2
    Chun Sang Suen 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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