Name: 最強大的心理力量 (The Most Powerful Psychological Force)
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T07:49:54.000Z
Duration: 12 min 18 s
Description: 【看影片學英語】數萬部 YouTube 影片，搭配英漢字典即點即查，輕鬆掌握單字發音與用法，長久累積看電影不必再看字幕。

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I feel like there was some pretty weird writing in season seven of Game of Thrones.

Run back to Eastwatch. Get a raven to Daenerys; tell her what's happened.

But there was one scene in the final episode that absolutely nailed it and it got

one character's arc that had been set up for seasons and really took it home

and this is the line where it all came together.

like there was an impossible choice I had to make — Stark or Greyjoy.

You don't need to choose. You're a Greyjoy... and you're a Stark.

That's why in this video, I want to talk about why Theon Greyjoy's identity

as either Stark or Greyjoy is so psychologically important for his character.

We're gonna discuss how a sense of identity helps Theon 
recover from his devastation at the hands of Ramsay

and how we can all think about our own identities so that they serve us

in the best and the worst times of our lives.

First off. in the context of Game of Thrones, being a Stark or being a Greyjoy

mean two very different things — Starks are honorbound to a fault, they're morose,

Greyjoys, on the other hand, are pillagers who take advantage of the weak,

enjoy the hedonistic pleasures in life, and are 
constantly looking to improve their position.

Theon's choice to identify as a Greyjoy in season two 
over a Stark change the entire course of the story.

While geopolitical outcomes may not lie in the balance, each of our personal identities

does have a similarly critical effect on our own lives.

As Tony Robbins puts it, your sense of identity is 
the strongest psychological force in your entire life.

If you see yourself as a winner, you're probably going to find a way to win.

And if you think that you're just lazy and useless, you're 
probably gonna find a way to make that come true as well.

This is why it is so important that we pay attention to our identities.

And first off, we need to recognize that identity does act in a self-reinforcing cycle.

First, there is a stimulus in the environment — and in Theon's 
case, that's being reminded that he isn't of Stark blood.

It's your duty to represent your House when your father can't.

And it's not your duty because it's not your House.

Second, what happens is that we create a story 
that has implications beyond the initial stimulus.

This is an identity and in Theon's case, he believes that he ought to be loyal 
to the Greyjoys instead of the Starks since she does not share their blood.

You'd have our father bow down to your other family.

Third, we act in accordance with our identity and that's exactly 
what happens when Theon betrays Rob and invades Winterfell.

And lastly, after we take action, we get more results that reinforce our initial identity

just like Theon who became stuck deeper and deeper in his own mistakes

despite the fact that it looks like he regrets very much his decision to betray Rob.

Because this is a self-perpetuating cycle, 
our identities seem like a completely real thing.

After all, we are always getting results that confirm our identities

but the problem is that identity whether it's Stark 
or Greyjoy or something else entirely is an illusion.

And sure, we might be born into a particular family and have some inborn proclivities.

Some of us might be more shy or outgoing or smart or athletic but the truth is

that at any given moment you are free to act out of line with your identity.

In fact, immediately after Jon Snow's acknowledgment that Theon can be both

Stark and Greyjoy, Theon does change and he, finally after seven seasons,

acts both ferociously and honorably in order to convince his men to go save Yara.

So as real as our identities might feel to us

whether we think we are Greyjoy or Stark or talkative or hardworking, 
we need to keep in mind that we can always change.

The problem for Theon is that he always wanted 
something bigger than him to tell him how to behave.

He wanted a concrete undeniable identity — a House name —

to guide his actions towards the right path and instead, he had 
two opposing identities with two opposing courses of action.

I always wanted to do the right thing —

be the right kind of a person — but never knew what that meant.

Even though it's an illusion, the nice thing about having one coherent identity

is that even though it doesn't always lead us down the right path, it at least 
justifies bad decisions as unavoidable which is what Theon's father, Balon, did.

I will take my crown; that is who I am — that is who we have always been.

I'm talking so much about identity because almost all of us have the same innate

desire to define ourselves once and for all in a pretty little package.

Even if it's a quote-unquote bad identity like 
lazy or selfish, we cling to the idea of identity

because it would be so much easier if codes of behavior came programmed into us 
and we could just write all of our actions off with the saying, "That's just who I am."

But the scary truth is that in each moment, you can shift how you're behaving.

You can reinforce your identity as Balon does and say that's just the way you are

or you can act against it as Theon does multiple times throughout the series.

This doesn't mean that one simple change in behavior is 
going to shift your entire identity; it takes more than that.

And by the way, if you're getting caught up on the idea of identity, this is also 
very similar to self-image in Psycho-Cybernetics if you've read that book.

Whether its identity your self-image, you can 
think of it kind of like autopilot on an airplane.

In the moments where you aren't consciously steering, 
identity is at the helm and it's guiding everything.

You can always veer off path but if you don't shift the autopilot, sooner or later,

it's gonna kick back in and you'll wind up right back on track to conform with your

identity which is what happened the first time that's 
Theon tried to regain his courage after becoming Reek.

He hadn't fully embraced his warrior self-image and so, he fled.

So the question becomes — when we're trying to make positive 
changes in our life, how can we make them more long-lasting?

So that we're not just veering off paths for a day on a New Year's resolution

but we are truly setting a new destination in our autopilot.

And the answer is by choosing and actively 
reinforcing a new identity — a new self-image.

Now, this isn't an easy feat but Theon's story does give us insight

into how identities shift in a near permanent manner.

This is why Ramsay insists that Theon remember his new name of Reek.

Whatever you say that you are — whenever you say that 
you are something — you are subtly changing your destiny.

Watch what happens when Theon says that he is Reek.

Theon: You're here to trick me. 
Yara: I'm not tricking you, Theon. I'm saving you.

I don't believe her! [Screams maniacally] I know who I am! I've always been Reek!

Compare that to what happens when he 
starts responding to his true name of Theon.

Now in the books, he hears the Weirwood trees calling him by his name

and in the show, it's Sansa repeatedly calling him Theon 
instead of Reek that breaks him out of the spell.

Like Theon, we are all capable of a wide variety of behavior from cowardice

to courage, stupidity to genius — you name it — depending on the words that 
we choose to label ourselves with on a consistent basis so don't take this lightly.

When you say that you are shy for instance you're 
telling yourself that you will always be that way.

And it might seem like a crazy inconvenience but it is much more 
empowering to say something like, "I've often felt shy in the past."

This creates space for you to change in the future if you so choose.