Do you know how to set up your apaatomento?

你知道如何設置好公寓裡的一切嗎？

Watch this easy guide, and I'll tell you how!

看看這個簡單的指南，我會告訴你怎麼做！

Ugh. Stupid foreigner can't even use a f****** bathroom.

呃，腦子不好使的外國人甚至連該死的浴室都不會用

What?

什麼？

Welcome to your new Japanese basurumu!

歡迎來到嶄新的日式浴室 (basurumu，日文バスルム，浴室)

Your basurumu may look like this.

你的浴室可能會長這樣

Or, if you're poor person

或者，如果你比較窮一點

your tub, sink, and toilet will be all in same room.

你的浴缸、洗臉台跟廁所會在同一個空間

Why is there a mirror in here? Won't it just get foggy?

為什麼這裡會有鏡子？不會起霧嗎？

HA HA GAIJIN-SAN

哈哈，老外啊 (gainjin-san，日文がいじんさん，外國人)

Buy kumoridome sponge and use on clean mirror.

只要買防霧海綿，並在乾淨的鏡子上擦拭過 (kumoridome，日文くもりどめ，防霧)

Now when mirror is foggy, just splash with water.

現在當鏡子起霧時，只要潑水上去

Congratulations!

恭喜你，清潔溜溜

Now you see body while you shower!

現在你洗澡的時候可以好好看清自己的身體了！

Never mind.

沒關係

Do not use sponge.

不要用海綿了

Now you're in Japan.

你現在在日本

When you finish shower, you go in tub to relax.

當你沖完澡，你會泡進浴缸裡放鬆

I don't need to use the tub.

我不需要用到浴缸

They get really dirty and it's really hard to scrub clean.

浴缸會變得很髒而且真的很難刷乾淨

ONLY BARBARIAN BATHE IN DIRTY TUB.

只有野蠻人才會在骯髒的浴缸洗澡

IN JAPAN WE CLEAN TUB EVERY NIGHT.

在日本我們每天晚上都會清洗浴缸

Every night?!

每天晚上？！

PAY ATTENTION

注意

First.

首先

Spray the tub with water.

用水先沖過浴缸一次

Second.

再來

Spray with cleaner!

噴灑清潔劑

Third.

第三步

Scrub with sponge on stick

用這種有把手的海綿刷過一次

and rinse all through!

再用清水整個沖過一次！

You do this every night?

你每天晚上都這麼做？

YES.

對

Here in Japan we do this EVERY NIGHT.

在日本我們每天晚上都會這麼做

It take 30 seconds and you will never have to scrub your tub again.

它只花你 30 秒，就能讓你以後不用再費力刷你的浴缸

And you can sit in CLEAN WATER

然後你就能泡在乾淨的水裡

instead of bathing with DEAD SKIN and OIL

而不是泡在死皮跟油脂裡

Shirobuta

你這傻子 (Shirobuta，日文白豚，白色的豬)

Okay...

好吧...

Once your tub is clean

一旦你把浴缸清乾淨了

put the stopper in,

把塞子放進去

set your water height,

設定你的水量

and temperature

還有溫度

and you can fill the tub now.

現在你就能把浴缸放滿水了

Or wait until later and use your remote panel in kitchen

或是稍等一下，在廚房使用遠端控制板

to start filling the tub.

開始在浴缸放水

"Filling with hot water now!"

「現在為您注入熱水！」

Why are there slits on the side?

為什麼邊邊會有縫隙？

Won't stuff go down it and make it dirty under the tub?

不會有東西跑進去，讓浴缸下方變髒嗎？

Don't you think we planned for that?

難道妳不覺得我們是刻意設計的嗎？

If your tub is designed like this,

如果妳的浴缸是這樣設計的

you can take off the front panel to access inside for cleaning.

妳可以把前板拆掉，如此一來就能清洗浴缸內部

Thank you for asking!

感謝妳的發問！

Japan is having many earthquakes.

日本有很多地震

You must prevent your furniture from falling and killing you.

妳需要避免家具傾倒而且殺死妳

We have many product to make your apartment safe.

我們有許多產品讓妳的公寓更安全

For your tall furniture we have taishin poru

我們有防震支撐桿可以固定高的家具 (taishin poru，日文耐震ポール，防震支撐桿)

Simply stretch them to ceiling and tighten.

很容易就能伸高到天花板並旋緊

For heavy object that too short for poru,

比較重的東西，因為太矮不能用支撐桿

we have very sticky pad.

我們有一種很黏的墊子

It's very, very sticky.

它非常非常黏

Put under things like refrigerator

放到像冰箱這類東西的下方

and your precious television

還有貴重的電視也行

Now in earthquake your things be less broken

現在地震來時，妳的東西就不會損壞很多啦

and you have less chance to die.

妳也比較不會被殺死

That's too bad.

真可惜

Ooh, I love tatami! It's so pretty!

嗚，我愛榻榻米！看起來真漂亮！

STUPID FOREIGNER

愚蠢的外國人

Do you even know how mendokusai is tatami?!

妳知道榻榻米有多麻煩嗎？(mendokusai ，日文面倒臭い，麻煩)

Tatami is made of dry igusa, which is like straw.

榻榻米是用乾藺草做的，一種像稻草的植物 (igusa，日文 い草，藺草)

Many apartment still have tatami. We use as bedroom.

許多公寓還有榻榻米，我們會用來當臥室

Before you lay bed on tatami,

妳在榻榻米上鋪床前

you must lay moisture sheet to prevent mold growing.

妳必須先鋪上防潮墊，防止黴菌孳生

It's so delicate.

它是很脆弱的

You must never walk on top with shoes,

妳絕對不能穿鞋子在上面走

put heavy furniture,

放很重的家具

or spill,

或是弄灑東西

or it become

要不然它就

DESTROY

毀了！

If you spill on tatami like soy sauce or coffee,

如果妳把醬油或咖啡灑在榻榻米上

you must immediately absorb with flour to prevent staining.

妳要馬上灑麵粉吸收那些液體，以免染色

Then, vacuum!

然後，用吸塵器吸乾淨

It's VERY EFFECTIVE.

這很有效

Step 2.

第二步

Hide stain by turning tatami upside down.

把榻榻米翻過來，讓汙漬藏在裡面

Step 3.

第三步

Give up.

放棄吧

Congratulations!

恭喜妳

YOU RUINED TATAMI FOREVER.

妳永遠地摧毀了一個榻榻米

Now you know basic apartment setting up.

現在妳知道公寓的基本設置內容

In next guide,

在下一次的指南

I will teach you how to put up products for kitchen.

我會教妳怎麼維護廚房用具

Where are you going?! Bring it back!

你現在要去哪？！把它還來！

It's gonna get stuck to your mouth.

它會黏在你的嘴巴裡

Why are you licking it?! EWW!

你為什麼要舔它？！噢！

He's licking it!

他在舔它！

I have to use that!

這是我要用的！

Okay. Stay.

好，待在這

Ow.

噢

Ow.

噢

This is not how the real earthquake goes.

這不是真正地震發生時的狀況

You don't fall down like that.

妳不會像這樣跌倒

How many times do I have to do this? It hurts!

我要做幾次？這會痛欸！

Watch this easy guide, and I will tell you how.

看看這個簡單的指南，我會告訴妳怎麼做

I'll tell you HOW.

我會告訴妳怎麼做

Watch this easy guide, and I will tell you how.

看看這個簡單的指南，我會告訴妳怎麼做

I'll tell you HOW!

我會告訴妳怎麼做！

I'll tell you how?

我會告訴妳怎麼做？

I'll tell you HOW!

我會告訴妳怎麼做！

I honestly cannot tell the difference so I don't know.

老實說我不能分辨有什麼差別，所以我不知道

I'll tell you how.

我會告訴妳怎麼做！

Higher.

語調上揚

I'll tell you HOW!

我會告訴妳怎麼做！

Yeah.

對