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  • (intro jingle)

    (前奏響起)

  • (Belgrade, Serbia) (dramatic music)

    (塞爾維亞的首都貝爾格勒) (戲劇性的配樂)

  • Geronimo.

    (美國傘兵跳傘時發出的吶喊聲,此作為暗號使用)

  • It's not like the NSA to be late.

    美國國家安全局的人怎麼會遲到?

  • There was an armed guard on the way in.

    門口有武裝守衛

  • It's nothing I couldn't handle.

    沒有什麼是我應付不了的

  • Do you have the drive?

    拿到硬碟了嗎?

  • See that gentleman over there?

    看到那個男人了嗎?

  • Next to the dame in red?

    就是在紅衣女士旁邊的那個

  • It's in his breast pocket.

    硬碟就在他胸口的口袋裡

  • I'll make the pull and pass it to you.

    我會找門路拿到,之後再交給你

  • (dramatic spy music)

    (戲劇性的間諜音樂)

  • Bro, are you reading this?

    老兄,你有看到嗎?

  • Who is this guy?

    這傢伙是誰啊?

  • His name is Watts.

    他叫 Watts

  • Let me just see if he's gay.

    來確認他是不是同志朋友囉

  • Awesome.

    太棒了!

  • Thank you.

    感恩

  • (keyboard clacking)

    (敲擊鍵盤聲)

  • Oh, yeah, he's super-gay.

    噢,他 gay 爆了

  • Good, good, good.

    很好、很好、非常好

  • Now, how do I let him know that I'm queer too?

    那我要如何讓他知道人家也是同志啊?

  • Why don't you just say that?

    幹嘛不直接說就好?

  • Ew, no.

    呃,不了

  • "Hey, I'm also a total homo."

    「嘿我也是徹徹底底的同志唷!」

  • (stammers)

    (結巴)

  • It's awkward.

    尷尬死了

  • Why?

    為何?

  • Because then its like I'm gonna hit on him.

    因為這樣看起來我像要搭訕他一樣

  • But you are gonna hit on him?

    但你確實要搭訕他啊?

  • Yes, but I don't want him to know that.

    是沒錯,但我不想讓他察覺

  • No, I just have to hint at it.

    我只要提示就好

  • Hey, dude?

    嘿老兄

  • Please just spy, you know.

    拜託你只要...做些間諜做的事就好

  • This hard drive can stop worldwide cyber attacks.

    這個硬碟可以防止全球網路攻擊

  • Just, focus up for a little bit.

    只要專注一點就好

  • I will, I just...

    會的啦,我只是...

  • Oh, those fucking haunches.

    天啊!那些該死的臀部

  • (growls)

    (咆哮)

  • I don't know exactly what a haunch is.

    我不太確定「臀部」到底是啥

  • - It's the part, - I can figure it out.

    - 就是那個部位 - 我想也是

  • And he says to me,

    然後他跟我說:

  • "A good suit ages like a fine wine,"

    「好的西裝如同上等紅酒般越陳越香。」

  • And like wine, its only worthwhile when its expensive.

    對,就像紅酒一樣,昂貴時才有價值

  • (laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • You guys talking about bars?

    你們在討論酒吧嗎?

  • I love that bar, Rawhide.

    我超愛 Rawhide 酒吧

  • Yeah, Rawhide is pretty wild.

    Rawhide 超讚的

  • Jesus Christ.

    老天...

  • You guys ever been to Rawhide?

    你們去過 Rawhide 嗎?

  • Watts?

    Watts 你呢?

  • I don't believe so.

    應該沒有

  • I think you'd like it.

    我覺得你會喜歡那裡

  • I think you and I have a lot in common.

    我覺得你和我有很多共同點

  • (clears throat)

    (清喉嚨)

  • It's a fine evening for a party.

    今晚的派對很愉快

  • You know, I'm a little bummed its tonight,

    我今晚有點失望的說

  • 'cause Drag Race is on.

    因為《變裝皇后秀》正在播

  • I love Drag Race.

    我好愛《變裝皇后秀》喔

  • Me too.

    我也是!

  • Watts?

    Watts 你呢?

  • Uh, I've never seen it.

    啊,我沒看過

  • Ah, I love it.

    我超愛的

  • You know I used to do drag in college?

    你們知道我大學時也會裝扮嗎?

  • Really?

    真假?

  • No, but, I always thought I could.

    其實不,我一直以為我可以

  • You know, I always thought I'd really fit in that world.

    就是我以前一直以為自己很適合

  • Just leave!

    快點離開!

  • You have the drive!

    你都拿到硬碟了!

  • Oh, you uh, you got a little something.

    噢,你頭上有東西

  • Holy shit.

    天殺的!

  • Oh okay.

    好喔...

  • Did he have something in his hair?

    他頭上有東西?

  • Yeah.

    對啊

  • I didn't see anything.

    可我啥都沒看到

  • It was there.

    剛剛有

  • Well what was it?

    剛剛有啥?

  • (Over earpiece) Fucking stop it!

    (聲音穿透耳機) 該死的快停下來!

  • What was that?

    那是啥?

  • Uh, you know what?

  • I think that was my phone.

    應該是我的手機啦

  • Hey, maybe it was my Grindr?

    也許是我的 Grindr ?

  • You guys ever seen Grindr?

    你們看過 Grindr 嗎?

  • Here take a look.

    來看看

  • That's my profile.

    這是我的自介

  • Are you really 24?

    你真的二十四歲?

  • Yes.

    沒錯

  • You know, maybe it wasn't Grindr.

    也許不是 Grindr 的聲音

  • I think it was a text from my ex-boyfriend.

    應該是我前男友的訊息

  • Yeah, boy friend.

    沒錯,男--朋友

  • My ex boyfriend, whose a boy.

    我前男友,男的

  • That's so sad.

    太令人難過了

  • When did you break up?

    你們何時分手的?

  • Uh, a long time ago.

    很久以前了

  • Ugh and he still texts you, hmm?

    然後他還在傳訊息給你?

  • Yeah he's kinda clingy.

    對,有點黏人

  • Is that your type?

    他是你的菜嗎?

  • My type is any guy, okay?

    只要是男的都是我的菜好嗎!

  • Any guy.

    男的

  • Just, uh, any guy.

    任何男的都是

  • Do you have low standards?

    你標準很低嗎?

  • What are you doing?

    你在幹嘛?

  • What's happening?

    到底是怎樣?

  • Are you a shrink?

    妳是心理醫師?

  • Are you a therapist?

    妳是心理治療師嗎?

  • Are you giving me therapy right here?

    妳現在在治療我嗎?!

  • (continues ranting)

    (繼續大聲嚷嚷)

  • Excuse me, sir?

    先生不好意思打擾一下

  • You have a phone call.

    您有一通電話

  • No, I don't.

    並沒有

  • Hey, how about after this,

    嘿 (派對) 結束之後

  • we could, um,

    我們可以...

  • Hey, uh, you gotta a little something right there.

    嘿,你頭上有東西

  • Got it.

    弄掉了

  • God damnit.

    該死的!

  • (outro sting)

    (片尾響起)

  • Hey it's Grant from CollegeHumor.

    嘿我是 CollgeHumor 的 Grant

  • Click here to subscribe to the channel.

    按這裡來訂閱本頻道

  • Click here for more fun stuff.

    按這裡看更多有趣新鮮事

  • And, sorry,

    等等不好意思

  • guys, it feels like I'm out.

    各位,我覺得我超出螢幕了

  • Am I out?

    超出去了嗎?

  • Because I can like,

    因為我可以...

  • I can see the top of the camera,

    可以看到攝影機的頂部

  • so it's...is this better?

    所以...這樣有比較好嗎?

  • Alright, it feels worse.

    好吧,感覺更糟了

  • Okay, well, thanks for watching.

    反正,謝謝收看囉

(intro jingle)

(前奏響起)

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同志的特徵? (Hinting that You're Queer Too)

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    Liang Chen 發佈於 2018 年 09 月 10 日
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