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Translator: Carolina Parodi Reviewer: Ellen Maloney
「我是一個高度敏感的人」
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I'm a highly sensitive person.
當我說這句話時你會先想到什麼?
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What is the first thing you think about when I tell you that?
我一定很害羞或很內向?
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That I must be shy and introverted?
或者很情緒化?
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Or perhaps very emotional?
或甚至是你覺得在我旁邊時 就必須得躡手躡腳?
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Or maybe even that you need to walk on eggshells around me?
大多數人一想到敏感的人
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The common assumption about highly sensitive people
就認為他們是虛弱、脆弱的生物
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is that we are somehow weak and fragile creatures
認為他們是屬於生來不幸的那群人
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who picked a losing ticket in the genetic lottery of life.
當你搜尋「敏感」兩字時 就會看到這些刻板印象
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You can see this in action when you google the word "sensitive."
你會看到牙痛、皮膚起疹子的照片
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You will see images of toothache, irritated skin,
(笑聲)
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(Laughing)
或是凋萎的蒲公英,還有哭泣的人
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wilted dandelions, and crying people.
「敏感」的人際公關做的還真不好
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Sensitivity clearly has a PR problem.
(笑聲)
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(Laughter)
今天我要來改變這一點
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Today I want to help change that.
你現在可能在想 高度敏感是什麼樣的感覺?
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Maybe by now you're wondering what is it like to be highly sensitive?
我要你們想像一下 將你的感官知覺提升到最高
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I invite you to imagine living with all your senses on high alert.
內心世界也活躍無比
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You also have a vivid inner world,
你的各種情緒也被放大
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where all of your emotions are magnified.
悲傷時有如深淵谷底 開心時有如躍上歡樂雲霄
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Sadness is a deep sorrow, and joy is pure ecstasy.
你的關心會超脫理性
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You also care beyond reason
且你的同理心沒有界線
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and empathize without limits.
想像你的身心 隨時滲透在周遭環境之中
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Imagine being in permanent osmosis with everything around you.
高度敏感的人常聽到這些話:
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Highly sensitive people often hear things like:
「你太敏感了」
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"You are too sensitive,"
「別把每件事都往心頭放」
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"Stop taking everything to heart,"
或是我最愛的版本 「你真的需要堅強起來」
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or my favorite, "You should really toughen up."
這些話的核心訊息非常清楚:
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The fundamental message is clear:
高度敏感是一種極度缺陷
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to be highly sensitive is to be highly flawed.
我以前的觀念就是這樣
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I used to agree with that.
我常想我應該戴著一些警示標語
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I always thought I should come with some sort of warning sign
或聲明:「注意:高度敏感」
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or a disclaimer: "careful; highly sensitive."
現在讓我分享一些
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Now, let me share with you
作為高度敏感人士可以得到的特權
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a few of the perks of being a highly sensitive person.
第一,我有一個非常過度活躍的心
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For one, I have an intensely overactive mind,
很難冷靜下來
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which means it's impossible to switch off.
這也意味者失眠是我的好朋友
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That also means that insomnia is my best friend.
你可以想像這在 TED 演講前 真是一大優點
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As you can imagine, that is particularly handy the night before a TED talk.
(笑聲)
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(Laughing)
而且我也沒辦法看恐怖或暴力電影
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Also I cannot watch scary or violent movies
因為那些影像會一直殘留在我心裡
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because the images haunt me forever
我記得小時候 看了「大白鯊」這部電影
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I remember when I was a child, I watched the movie "Jaws".
我還因此受了創傷
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It traumatized me so much
連游泳池附近都不敢去 更不過說海邊了
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that I was unable to go near a swimming pool,
這創傷延續了好幾年
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let alone the sea, for several years.
還有更丟臉的
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And, embarrassingly enough,
一旦提到旅行或是飯店的床的話題 我小時候的綽號「豌豆公主」
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I do my childhood nickname of "Princess of the Pea" proud
就會完全彰顯它的意義
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when it comes to traveling and hotel beds.
床墊不能太硬或太軟 只能恰到好處
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The mattress should be not too hard, not too soft; it has to be just right.
我爸曾經開玩笑地跟我提議
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My father once jokingly recommended
我應該要帶著自己的床和枕頭去旅行
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that I should simply start traveling with my own bed and pillow
才能免去這些旅行上的麻煩
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to avoid any future travel hassles.
(笑聲)
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(Laughing)
我常想「這樣有為我帶來好處嗎?」
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I often wondered, "what good could it possibly do me to be this way?"
我漸漸體會到敏感帶來的好處
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Well, the gifts of sensitivity slowly crept up on me.
我漸漸愛上我可以很輕鬆地 與他人產生連結這個優點
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I've come to learn to love that I deeply and easily connect with others
還有我厲害的直覺 就像是絕對可靠的衛星導航
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and also that I have a strong intuition that guides me like an infallible GPS.
直到我在 25 歲時讀到一本書
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It was only at the age of 25 that I came across a book
改變了我的人生
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that changed my life:
伊蓮·艾倫博士寫的《敏感元素— 用敏感特質塑造成功的人生 》
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"The Highly Sensitive Person" by Dr. Elaine Aron.
我生活中極具技術色彩的體驗 終於有了名字
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I could finally put a name
給予我希望,因為有其他人跟我一樣
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to my overwhelmingly technicolor experience of life,
作者在這本書裡描述 簡稱 HSP 的高度敏感人群
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and it gave me hope that there were others like me.
擁有「感官處理敏感性」的基因特點
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In this book she describes highly sensitive people, or in short HSPs,
有點難念
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as people who have a genetic trait of sensory processing sensitivity.
出乎意料,總人口中 有 15 至 20% 的人屬於 HSP
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That's quite a mouthful.
作者用了優美的簡稱 「DOES」
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And, surprisingly, 15 - 20% of the population is HSP.
來總括 HSP 的特殊個性
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Now, she uses the wonderful acronym "DOES" to summarize the core traits of HSPs.
「D」代表「處理深度」
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The "D" stands for "depth of processing".
HSP 擁有深入分析 一切事物的超強能力
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As HSPs, we have a phenomenal ability to deeply analyze absolutely everything.
我最喜歡的例子 就是「中式餐館症候群」
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My favorite example for this is what I call "Chinese restaurant syndrome."
(笑聲)
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(Laughing)
通常我們可以花上一個小時 看完 40 頁的菜單
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Basically, we can take up to an hour to read the entire 40-page menu,
但到最後我們很有可能只點最愛的菜
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despite the fact that we will very likely order our favorite dish anyway.
(笑聲)
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(Laughing)
「O」 則是「過度刺激」
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The "O" stands for "overstimulation".
我們很容易被周遭環境影響
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We get quickly overwhelmed by the world around us.
我生於巴伐利亞 我熱愛啤酒節這個活動
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Now, I'm Bavarian and I love our Oktoberfest,
但我在那兒待上一小時後 就必須得離開
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but I actually have to leave after an hour
因為我受不了
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because I get completely overpowered
烤雞與棉花糖混合的味道
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by the mix of roast chicken smells with candy floss,
還有那吵雜的歌聲、龐大的人群
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and the cacophony of songs and the massive crowds.
對我的感官來說太過刺激了
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It is too much for my senses.
「E」是「同理心」 HSP 與他人感同身受
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The "E" stands for "empathy"; HSPs feel what others feel.
就像一句希伯來諺語:
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It's like that old Hebrew saying:
「當一個人哭,另一個人有如嚐到鹽巴」
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"When one cries, the other tastes salt."
最後的「S」代表「細微之處的感受」
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Lastly, the "S" stands for "awareness of subtleties".
HSP 就像頻率寬廣的感受器 可以察覺微小之處
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HSPs are like a finely tuned sensor; they can pick up on the minutest things.
但壞處是 他們的天性驅使他們
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Unfortunately, that means that they are also the kind of people
在凌晨三點吵醒你
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who will wake you up at three A.M.
告訴你他聽到 兩層樓下的廚房水龍頭
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to tell you that they hear a tap dripping in the kitchen
在滴水的聲音
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two floors down.
從這裡你可以知道 HSP 的過度反應不僅限於情緒方面
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As you can see, being an HSP is about far more than emotional reactivity.
我也想解決兩個大家不願面對
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I would like to address the two big elephants in the room
有關 HSP 刻板印象的問題
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when it comes to HSP stereotypes.
第一個是 HSP 想必 是隱密的內向者
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The first assumption is that HSPs must be undercover introverts
想為自己取個很酷的名字
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that wanted a fancier name.
事實上有 30% 的 HSP 是外向者
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(Laughter)
這就表示我們無法輕易地將他們
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The fact of the matter is, 30% of HSPs are actually extroverts,
歸類在「安靜的旁觀者」這個分類
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which means we cannot park them
HSP 包含各形各色的人
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in the convenient "quiet wallflower" category,
第二個是 HSP 個性有點陰柔的印象
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HSPs come in many shades of pastel.
很多人認為 HSP 都是女性
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Secondly, because of the supposed femininity of HSP traits,
這可能會讓你驚訝
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many assume that HSPs are women.
事實上有 50% 的 HSP 是男性
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It may come as a surprise that 50% of HSPs are, in fact, men.
從社會觀感來看 男性天生不應該感性
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In our society, men are not supposed to be sensitive
應該是競爭性強的強勢天性
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but aggressive and competitive.
可惜的是男性可以 同時是感性和強壯的觀念
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Sadly, the notion that men can be both sensitive and strong
還是不被多數人接受
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is still too much of an alien concept.
現在是個告訴你們的好時機
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Now, it is a good time to tell you
我不認為 HSP 比別人好或不好
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that I don't think HSPs are better or worse than anyone else;
就只是人各有異
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they are simply different.
儘管有傳聞,我也想指出
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I would also like to point out that despite the rumors,
他們不是獨特、可享特權待遇的人
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that they are not members of "The Special Snowflake Society",
同時 HSP 彼此之間 沒有特殊暗號來分辨彼此
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and also, HSPs don't have a secret handshake to identify each other either.
(笑聲)
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(Laughing)
HSP 其實跟大家都相同
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HSPs are like everyone else
只是他們對世界的感受
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except that they experience the world
更加鮮明
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in a more vivid way.
如果你認為所有的 HSP 個性都一樣
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And if you think that all HSPs are alike,
這是不正確的
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that is not true;
沒有兩位 HSP 會是一模一樣的個性
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no two HSPs are the same.
每一位 HSP 都有自己 獨特的感官特徵
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Every HSP has their own unique sensitive fingerprint
以及其他辨識標記
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alongside other identity markers
像是性別、種族、文化與個人背景
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like gender, ethnicity, and cultural and personal background.
我也要指出 HSP 不是一種疾病
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I would also like to point out that being an HSP is not an illness,
也不是一種選擇
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and it is also not a choice.
它是伴隨基因來的特質
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It is a genetic trait.
我們本質上個性溫和
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We are essentially born to be mild.
每次有人對 HSP 說 「你太敏感了」的時候
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Everytime you tell an HSP they are "too sensitive",
就像對有藍眼睛的人說 「你眼睛太藍了」
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it's like telling someone with blue eyes that their eyes are too blue.
而且也有可能
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Chances are,
無論你有多常這樣說他們
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no matter how often you tell them,
回視你的還是那始終不變的藍眼睛
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you'll still have the same blue eyes looking back at you.
社會上的觀念認為敏感是一種缺陷
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As a society, we have come to think of sensitivity as a flaw;
是一種不幸又情緒化的致命弱點
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an unfortunate, emotional Achilles heel,
阻礙我們朝著更樂觀、更超脫、 更中立客觀的方向前進
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that tempers with our ability to become evermore optimized, detached, and robotic.
我們總是過於貶低理想主義者、 夢想家、創作家
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We all too readily belittle the idealists, the dreamers, and the creators.
但這並非一成不變的道理
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This was, however, not always the case.
幾百年前的慈善家、哲學家、 詩人、藝術家與畫家
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In previous centuries, philanthropists, philosophers, poets, artists, and painters
都因他們「感官上」的貢獻 備受社會崇敬
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were all venerated for their sensitive contribution to society.
如果沒有達文西或莫札特 我們會變成什麼文明?
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Who would we be without Leonardo Da Vinci or without a Mozart?
沒有尼恩或巴爾札克
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Without Anaïs Nin or Balzac?
沒有德雷莎修女或甘地呢?
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Or Mother Teresa or Ghandi?
我們的世界必然更為黑暗
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Our world would certainly be a shade darker.
然而,我不是說 HSP 都是 塑造這個世界的天才
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Now, I'm not suggesting that all HSPs are geniuses that shape the world.
但大多數的 HSP
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But, most HSPs have a genuine urge to create connection and meaning.
天生喜歡創造連結與意義
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Because they feel every pain they see,
因為他們能感受到他人的痛處
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they want to elevate the forgotten and save the misfortunate.
他們想要喚醒被遺忘的事物 拯救不幸的那一群人
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When HSPs try to hide their sensitivity to fit in,
當 HSP 為了融入大眾 而隱藏自身的敏感
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we all lose.
這時就是所有人的損失
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For would a society not be poorer
社會是否會變得更貧窮
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that lacks the beating heart of sensitive creation?
如果少了高度敏感族群 滿腔情懷的創造力?
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That discredits imagination, intuition, and empathy?
變得不信任想像力、直覺或同情心?
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I believe so.
我相信會
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That is why I think we need to urgently start
這就是為什麼我們必須趕緊開始來
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to accept and appreciate sensitivity
接受、珍惜「敏感力」
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for the temperature regulating effect it has on an often hot headed world.
因為它是個恆溫機制 來為這時常一頭熱的世界降溫
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I believe we're all sensitive
我相信我們都是敏感的
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to different degrees and in different ways.
只是敏感程度、方式不一樣
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HSPs are simply at the far end of the spectrum.
HSP 僅僅是位在這個光譜的極端
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That is why how we think and talk about sensitivity concerns all of us.
這就是為什麼我們如何 看待「敏感力」會關乎到所有人
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We need to come together as a society
做為一個社會我們必須團結
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to rewrite the negative cultural narrative about sensitivity,
重寫對於敏感力的負面概念
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and turn it into a positive one.
轉換為正面的概念
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We need to erase the notion that sensitivity is a weakness
我們必須拋棄 「敏感就是脆弱」這個想法
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to finally benefit from its many strengths.
才能獲得敏感所帶來的各種優勢
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By doing so, we will create an environment
這樣子我們才能創造出
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where everybody is safe to express their softer side,
每個人都能安心表達 自身柔軟面的環境
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not just HSPs.
不僅僅是 HSP 而已
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How can we go back to creating more positive awareness
如何才能為「敏感」創造 更正面的觀念和更高的接受度呢?
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and acceptance for sensitivity?
我認為最要緊的是 先從學校與工作場合著手
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On a public level,
學校體制中 我們必須要有更好的教師訓練
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I believe the two most urgent changes need to happen in schools and workplaces.
來認識並了解高敏感學童
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In schools, we need to better train our teachers
傳統上來自於父母、老師
-
to recognize and understand sensitive children.
所寄望孩子們更堅強、 更能應付這刻薄社會、
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And for parents and teachers alike,
從而存活下來的這一片好心
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the often well-meant desire to toughen them up,
則必須停止
-
to survive in the big, mean world out there,
我們不能讓一個本性溫和的孩子 硬是帶上兇猛的面具
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needs to stop.
從公司的角度來看
-
We should not try to force sheep into wolves' clothing.
現有的工作文化對於 那些鐵手腕的人來得有利
-
On a corporate level,
因為高敏感族群
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the system is set up to favor those with steel elbows.
通常來說態度較溫和 也比較合群
-
Because sensitive people
相對來說較不好爭
-
typically are more soft spoken and co-operative
他們在職位升遷上進度也比較緩慢
-
instead of competitive,
要改變現狀的話
-
they often get left behind on the corporate ladder.
必須要有一個各種性格 都可以開花結果的新環境
-
To change this,
並非由少數性格獨享
-
we need to create an environment where all personality types can flourish,
我之所以相信
-
and not just a select few.
企業一旦讓敏感人士 成為策略團隊的一員
-
That is why I believe,
就可以從中獲得最大利益
-
for corporations, it is in their own best interest
因為沒有敏感人士 企業將不會有創新
-
to invite sensitive people to the table.
完整性、還有最後...人性
-
Because without sensitives they risk lacking innovation,
從個人角度來看
-
integrity, an, ultimately, humanity.
我們都有影響力
-
On a personal level,
只要不再去另眼看待
-
we can all make an impact
敏感人士與我們的些微差異
-
simply by refraining from judging the delicate difference
下一次你想要跟別人說 「你太敏感了」
-
of the sensitives around us.
我想要你暫停這個想法
-
The next time you feel like telling someone, "You're too sensitive!"
把這念頭轉化為同理心
-
I would ask you to stop and pause.
你會發現一旦開始接受 會讓你們兩人都感到振奮
-
Fill that pause with understanding.
我要對 HSP 各位夥伴說
-
You will see that the simple act of acceptance will uplift both of you.
接受你的心,無所畏懼做自己
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To my fellow HSPs, I say:
別再故作堅強
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Take heart and be unashamedly yourselves.
別再躲藏,你最原始的心很美
-
Stop trying to toughen up.
別覺得自己格格不入
-
Stop hiding; you're beautiful as you are.
因為真正的責任不在於你
-
Don't feel weird,
而是這個將墮落、暴力、 貪婪視為正道的世界
-
because it's not you who can be considered wrong
而是這個世界 將墮落、暴力、貪婪視為正道
-
but rather a world in which corruption,
克里希那穆提曾說
-
violence, and greed are the norm.
「丈量健康的尺
-
As Krishnamurti said,
不該為了迎合徹底敗壞的社會 來調整刻度」
-
"It is no measure of health
當我還是小女孩時
-
to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
我很喜歡在後院追著蝴蝶玩
-
When I was a little girl,
我很欣賞它們的脆弱之美
-
I loved chasing butterflies in our garden
我深感到必須要保護它們
-
and I admired their fragile beauty.
我決定用玻璃瓶來抓住它們
-
I felt a deep urge to protect them,
用花草來餵食
-
so I decided to trap them in little mason jars
把他們好好地安置在我房間
-
filled with grass and flowers,
我很快就了解到
-
to keep them safe with me in my room.
蝴蝶並不喜歡被囚禁
-
I quickly understood:
我也了解到牠們並不需要被拯救
-
butterflies do not like captivity.
蝴蝶為自然生態系統 帶來的鮮明色彩
-
This made me understand: they did not need to be rescued,
就必須與自然同在
-
Their colorful contribution to the natural ecosystem
同樣地
-
was exactly as it should be.
HSP 不應躲藏起來
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Similarly,
藏在保護溫室中逃避這世界的痛楚
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HSPs should not hide away
HSP 必須要站出來
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from the pain of this world in a protective incubator.
並與每個人分享 他們所被賦予的敏感能力
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It is their role to step up and share
我相信身為人類
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their sensitive gifts with all of us.
我們由敏感與同情心團結在一起
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I believe, as humans, we are all united
我不相信只有 HSP 才能 付出關懷、帶來改變
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by our experience of sensitivity and empathy.
我們正面臨一場嚴肅的政治、
-
Also I don't believe you need to be an HSP to care and to make a difference.
文化與環境的挑戰
-
We are facing grave political,
現在,比較以往
-
cultural, and environmental problems today.
我們更需要敏感心靈所帶來的貢獻
-
Now, more than ever,
來為前方艱難的困境 鋪上更平緩的道路
-
we need the contribution of sensitive minds and hearts
我們越能讓自己
-
to pave a path for troubled times ahead.
與內心深處的敏感力連結
-
The more we all allow ourselves
我們就越能療癒自己 撫平地球所受的傷害
-
to connect to our innate sensitive gifts,
我從約翰·藍儂獲得靈感
-
the more we can heal ourselves and the planet we live on.
他寫出了有史以來大概最敏感的聖歌
-
Inspired by John Lennon -
《Imagine》
-
who perhaps wrote the biggest sensitivity anthem of all times
讓我做個總結:
-
with "Imagine" -
請別說我是夢想家