also known as Momiplier. How you doing? Mom: Hi everybody

－也就是Momiplier，妳好嗎？ Mark媽：嗨各位

*Epic show song for Momiplier*

來賓：Momiplier

- This is Bell! - Yeah, and toda-... Yeah it's Bell

對，然後這是鈴鐺，各位...牠叫鈴鐺 Momiplier：這是鈴鐺

*Epic show song for Bell*

來賓：鈴鐺

Today we're going to be doing the How Well Do You Know Your Child...

今天我們要玩「你多了解你的小孩」遊戲

Game.

...之類的東西，有個比較正式的名字...「標記父母」之類的？

Something like that.

我不知道叫什麼，這有點年紀了

There is an official name for it. Ehhhh, something like.. "parent tag"?

不過我覺得這是個讓觀眾知道你是否了解我的好時機

I don't know what it is. This is years old at this point but..

Mark：呃－我會...我會問，我會搞定這些 Momiplier：好喔

I figured it was a good time for the audience to know, if you know me very well.

問題：我的敵人是誰？

Uh- I'll.. I'll ask, I guess. I'll do all the work. - Okay.

（Momiplier.exe載入中）

Who are my enemies?

Peedeepai！（Pewdiepie）

Wait...

你認真的嗎？

Peedeepaih! (Pewdiepie)

抱歉

I didn't get to write my-

...等等我再給妳一次機會

*Momiplier laughs*

Momiplier：再說一次，你說你的...呃問題？ Mark：我的敵人是誰？

I'm sorry.

（狗狗受到Mark媽快速拳的連擊）

And- hang on I'll give you a.. I'll give you a do over.

Momiplier：Jacksepticeye？

Say it again. What's your.. que-question? - Who are my enemies?

不是？

*PATPATPAT*

我想說你們倆不分雌雄

Jacksepticeye *both laugh*

我不知道妳把YouTube想像成怎樣的修羅場了

No? *laughing*

Momiplier：是個彼此競爭激烈－ Mark：喔－

Because you guys kinda neck-in-neck *laughs again*

Momiplier：－彼此背後互捅一刀，對吧？ Mark：...哇

I don't know what kind of ruthless world do you think YouTube is. *laughs*

我會...我晚點見到Jack時會跟他說的 （Momiplier媽笑得很開心）

It's a vicious competition to each other.

00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,200 我的答案是：酸民

Ooooohhh

什麼酸民？！ （身為母親無法想像除了自己外的人討厭他純潔無垢的兒子）

They trying to stab each other's back, right?

誰討厭你？誰好意思（會心一擊）討厭Markiflier？

Well, I'll... I'll tell...

好，我最喜歡的樂風是什麼？猜猜看

I'll tell Jack that when I see him later today.

（Momiplier.exe.載入中）

*Both laugh*

Momiplier：你之前做什麼專輯，那首歌的名字是什麼... Mark：...我做了專輯？！

My answer was "da haterz".

對啊，一年前時 （Mark超級困惑模式）

What haters?!?

你唱...

Who hate'chyu?! *Mark laughs* How dare *echo slam* they hate Markiflier?!

Mark媽MomiplierMark：喔我「翻唱」啦

Alright. What is my favorite music? Now think about it...

Momiplier：翻唱，那首叫什麼 Mark：喔那個我...呃...我...呃喔欸呃－

*Eerie music plays* Favorite music... favorite music...

Mark：我只想的到「喔你可看見*」但應該不是 Momiplier：不是...那是翻唱，叫什麼來著？ *美國國歌歌詞

*Who wants to be a Millionaire guess face*

Mark：我正試著回想 Momiplier：喔天啊XD

What did you make the album? What's the title of the song? Was it... - I made an album?

等等，好，是...是呃紅髮艾德翻唱的版本？是這樣？

Yeah.. a year ago.

Momiplier：就是它，對 Mark：喔，可是答錯了－

Something you si- st- s--

Momiplier：方克？ Mark：放克

..sing with a guitar. What is the name of that? - Oh, I did a cover.

Momiplier：放克是什麼？ Mark：他們是...放克是...

Cover. What was the title? - I did it was.. uhm.. I ... Eh ooh aeh wel--

試著說看看

All that's coming to mind is "oh say can you see" but that's not it. - Nooo.. It was cover song. What was it?

（Mark意義不明的表演放克音樂中）

I'm.. trying to.. remember! - Oh gosh!

（巡迴演出加油啊Mark）

Wait, okay. It's.. it's um.. Ed Sheeran's epic ballad "Oh say, can you see". That was it.

呃－

That's it. Yeah, your favorite. - Yeah.. But that's wrong...

你們可能很喜歡，不過你別再唱了...

... Fu'hnk? - Funk

我最喜歡的樂團是「木乃伊來了」很讚，超讚的樂團，我超愛他們

What is that? Funk? They're for the... - Funk is...

好，現在要來點嚴肅的問題了

Try... say something. *Momiplier sniff*

問題：我對家裡最大的埋怨是什麼？

[Funk imitation fail from Mark]

Momiplier：這個家？哪個家？ Mark：「我們」家 *註：Mark有一位繼母

You might la-like it, but that's enough from you.

Momiplier：埋怨？ Mark：對啊，我最大的埋怨是什麼？喔噢－

My favorite band is "Here Come The Mummies". It is an awesome, awesome band. I love'em.

Mark：喔等等我知道了，等等－ Momiplier：（戴上眼鏡）你在說什麼？ ＊Mark媽認真模式啟動＊

Okay, now we're getting into the serious questions

Mark：呃，我還沒－我連答案都還沒寫－ Momiplier：我知道為什麼了

What is my biggest complaint about this family?

我還...我根本還沒寫答案咧，等等

This family? Which family? - Our... Our family.

好啦，是什麼？

Complaint? - Yeah, what's my biggest complaint? Uh ooh...

你怎麼好意思（摘下眼鏡）抱怨家裡？

Oh, wait. I know. Hang on. - What you talking about?

（Mark持續大笑）

Well, I didn't I- I haven't written the answer yet. - I know why.

（小聲）你好意思

I don't... haven't written the answer yet. Hang on.

我想我大概...知道你在說什麼

Okay, what is it?

（如來神掌）

*Takes off glasses, striking fear in our hearts* How dare you... complain about this family?

Momiplier：以一個亞洲父母的觀點，你知道我們會怎樣嗎？ Mark：（黑人問號）

*Mark lets out a hearty laugh*

強迫餵自己小孩吃東西 （Mark進入完全困惑模式）

How dare you...

我第一句總是問「你餓了嗎？」

I think I kind of a... I know what you just talking about.

然後我就會說「喔等等！我有幫你煮吃的！」是這個嗎？

[Death table slam]

那不是抱怨，不，我的抱怨是我不常見到你們

As an asian parent, you know what we like to do?

喔...

Force-feeding children. (And Momiplier confuses her son)

哈哈哈哈哈哈但我喜歡你（Mark媽拍桌）說「你好意思」的那段

First thing I ask is "Are you hungry?"

這不是抱怨！這是件好事！ （Momiplier原以為會是些更嚴肅的事）

Then I say "Wait a minute! I cook for you!" Is that the one?

Mark：我抱怨我離開你們四年了！我也不常見到你們 Momiplier：喔對，好好好...

That's not a complaint. No, my complaint was: "I don't get to see you all enough".

Momiplier：我還以為...你好意思（笑） Mark：哇我的老天

*laughs*

Momiplier：那樣不好嗎？ Mark：可...可4...我...我上個回答很可愛啊

Ooh...

如果我可以買...這有點反過來問－如果我可以買給你...

Haha-hahahaha!.. But I love the clip of... *slam* "How dare you complain". *laughs*

任何東西...這，事實上我直接給你平板好了，來

That's not a complain! That is a nice thing!

寫下－寫下你的答案，我會抱住泡泡或鈴鐺的，我是說鈴鐺

I complain! I've been away for four years! I don't get to see you all enough. - Oh yeah. Okay okay okay...

Momiplier：對鈴鐺 Mark：我會抱住－喔喔喔喔喔

I thought oh... how dare you *laughs* - Wow! Oh my goodness.

Mark：現在妳寫下妳的答案 Momiplier：好

It better be nice... - Bueet wuet... I have the... My last answer was lovely!

別給我看，如果我可以買給妳...

If I could buy you.. this is a little reverse-- If I could buy you..

Mark：...世界上任何一個東西給妳的話，妳想要什麼？ Momiplier：這是個困難的問題

Anything in the... Here, actually, I'll just give you this. Here.

Mark：我懂，別讓我看到，但我現在可以回答你 Momiplier：「任何東西」？

Write down write down your answer. I'll take Bubble or Bell. That's Bell.

如果我可以買世界上任何一個東西給妳，妳希望是什麼？

Yes it's Bell. - I'll take Bell oooonnhh..

（小聲）鈴鐺，我們要去血拼了，免費的喔(*´∀`)~♥

Now you write down your answer to this question. - Okay.

（小聲）妳哥要買世界上任何一種東西給我們

Don't show me. If I could buy you...

（小聲）我可不接受妳當我妹 （鈴鐺困惑地看著Mark）

anything in the world, what would it be? - That's a tough question, dear...

（Mark媽開心的大笑）

I know right? Don't let me see it. But now I'm gonna answer. - Anything?

（Mark：想都別想）

If I could buy you anything in the world what would it be?

Mark：（對鈴鐺擠眉弄眼）妳也寫太多了吧 Momiplier：鈴鐺準備血拼了嗎？妳哥要－

Bell... We are going for shopping. It's free.

Momiplier：喔拜託喔！是你說「任何東西」的欸！ Mark：任何「一樣」東西(╬ﾟдﾟ)

Your brother's going to buy us anything in the world.

Momiplier：喔一樣而已？ Mark：對啦！

I don't accept you as my sister... *confused Bell looks at Mark*

Momiplier：一定要是「任何」一樣東西？ Mark：我要怎麼買成千上萬的東西啦！

*Momiplier laughs heartily*

喔...( ˘･з･)

Bell, ya ready for shopping? Your brother is gonna buy us.. - You sure are writing a lot down!

Momiplier：喔...( ˘･з･) Mark：少來失望那套，這不是講真的，我不可能買那種東西給妳的

Oh com'h on! You said "anything"! - Any "one" thing.

Momiplier：喔拜託，我可是很認真回答的－ Mark：等－什麼？

Oh any one thing? - Yeah!

Momiplier：好囉，這就是我想要－ Mark：別給我看我還沒回答

Have to be "any" one thing? - How am I gonna guess a bajillion things?

Momiplier：喔好吧 Mark：我得先猜猜看，好吧它是－

*sad whine*

好，你有些東西舊了，一台新車一棟新房子...呃呃...呃呃

Don't give me that disappointed sigh. This isn't reality. I'm not actually gonna buy you these things.

一座巴哈馬小島

Ohk'mon! I take it literally your question here. - Whue- what!?

Momiplier：（困惑臉） Mark：呃...去旅遊...呃...

There you go! This is what I want! - Don't show me I haven't answered yet.

Mark：一群傭人幫你打掃和煮飯 Momiplier：（搖頭）

Oh okay? - I got a guess it. Alright is it...

Mark：有猜到嗎？ Momiplier：錯！！！！！！

Okay, you wrote down multiple things. A new car, a new house... Uhhh uhhh...

Mark：喔所以... Momiplier：私人來說你不太懂我

Uhhh uh... An island in the Bahamas

Mark：很明顯，對，所以是什麼？ Momiplier：塔啦！（把平板轉給Mark看）

Uh... paid vacation uhhh... a... uuhh... uh...

Mark：這三小，海豹？ Momiplier：海ㄅ－＊大笑＊ （Mark那隻「海豹」就在你手上）

A fleet of servants to clean and cook for you?

再說一次，鈴鐺，看看這是誰？ （鈴鐺：別逼我我看不懂啊）

Did I get it? - Wroooonnnng!

看起來就像ㄏ－鈴鐺是美狗魚

Okay wow... -Apparently, you don't know me.

Momiplier：對啊，鈴鐺 Mark：什－三小－

Apparently, I don't. Wh- what was it?

Momiplier：對啊「另一隻」鈴鐺！ Mark

Ta-daaahhh! - What is that, a seal?

...公的鈴鐺很可愛不是嗎？

Seaalll... *Momiplier giggles*

Momiplier：我希望他們生一個可愛的小狗－ Mark：這世上已經有夠多狗了，你沒必要再去繁殖（說得好Mark）

Say it again- Bell! Who's it look like? - Looks like se- Bell as a mermaid...

喔...還是很可愛啦(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)

Yeah.. Bell.. - Wh- what did...

何況即使牠們不生－那些小狗狗，如果牠們夠幸運我也夠幸運的話我也許就可以有（爆音）一隻

Bell. Another Bell!

好了，所以妳那題答得不錯，好，所以就補一分回來

Boy Bell. It'd be cute. [Why not name him Beast?]

Mark：完美，話說回來畫得不錯 Momiplier：嗯？

00:05:39,860 --> 00:05:42,520 I want me.. I want them to have a nice puppy.

Mark：畫得不錯 Momiplier：我一直都在練習

There's too many dogs in the world. You don't need to breed'em.

好，我...

Oh.. it's so cute, it's okay...

...最喜歡...

Besides they don't make it-- that many puppies. If they're lucky- if I'm lucky they might have...

...的...

~~!ONE!~~

...電視節目是？

Alright, well, you got me good on that one. Okay, so that's a point minus for me.

喔我知道...不等等...

Perfect. Very nice drawing by the way. - Mmm??

Momiplier：我知道 Mark：說說看

Nice drawing. - I've been practicing.

怪醫...

Alright, what is...

...豪斯？第七號情報員（這其實是電影）？其中一個

... my...

Mark：（笑） Momiplier：苔詞？

.. .fff-favorite...

Mark：（黑人問號） Momiplier：( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

... TV show?

Mark：苔詞？ Momiplier：對啊，台詞

Oh I know... - Wait hang on...

Mark：對台詞？（美國即興喜劇名稱） Momiplier：沒錯

I know. - Alright go for it.

對對！你答對了！ （Momiplier加一分）

Doctorrrr...

我不知道怪醫豪斯那些怎出來的不過...

... House? Doctor No? Either one.

Momiplier：你之前很－之前很喜歡第七號情報員 Mark：喔是啦是啦

Whuhoohooo--aath? - What's the line!!

不過好在你知道「猜台詞」因為那是我最愛的節目

What's the line? - Yeah, whose the line.

Momiplier：對對... Mark：哇你得分了，哇喔！

Whose the line is it anyway? - Yeah.

你覺得我會完全不懂自己的兒子嗎？

Yeah yeah! You got it!

他們在幹嘛？

I don't know what Doctor No-House came into that but...

Momiplier：都是－ Mark：－你什麼都知道

You used to... you used to... into the Doctorrr No. - Yeah yeah but... good thing you settled...

Momiplier：我．什麼．都知道 （直升機家長模式ON）

Yeah good thing you settled on "Whose Line Is It Anyway" 'cuz that is.. that is my favorite show.

好，這個應該挺簡單的，我最引以為傲的成就是？

Yeah yeah.. yeah. - Whoa you got one. Wow!

替基金會籌得善款

You don't think I pay attention on my sons?

（被秒殺的Mark焦躁中）

What they doing?

我猜的有對嗎?

You gotta be.. - You watch everything.

這樣會不會太快？

I. watch. everything.

（小聲）我的YouTube？

Okay. This one will probably be an easy one. What accomplishment am I most proud of?

（極度焦躁的Mark）

Raising money for charity.

Mark：「讓我」可以為基金會籌得善款（笑） Momiplier：喔對－沒有YouTube頻道要怎麼募得善款呢

*the sound of Mark panicking* [ PTSD from our "Cancer Research Donations"]

Mark：對啊（笑） Momiplier：沒有一個好的YouTube頻道的話別人連一塊錢都不會幫忙你吧－

Did you write it down already?

Mark：對（尷尬） Momiplier：是吧

Am I too fast? -No, uh, is that your--

（如來神掌）

Yeah?

Mark：這算得一分， Momiplier：對一分

"My Youtube?"

＊叮＊

*the sound of Mark's shame* [35,000]

嗯，我，我想好了，這可能有點難－呃，我去年最大的失落是什麼？

W-Which allowed me to raise money for charity, so -Yeah, how would you raise money if you didn't have your Youtube channel?

（Momiplier.exe運作中）

YEAHHHHH!

失落有很多啦就講去年就好

Nobody gonna donate a dollar for you, if you didn't have a you- channel. Right? -Yeah

你生病的事情?

*Another slam of fury*

我想那應該算，不過我們就說是「我的錯」的那種失落好了

We'll count that as a point. - Yeah, half point

Mark：因為生病不能算我的錯，就說我做了什麼然後因此感到失望的吧 Momiplier：是嗎？

*BING*

我認為你總是完美無缺的啊

Hmm. Okay. I got an answer. This might be tough for you.

對我來說啦

Um, what was my biggest disappointment of this past year?

影片的開頭可能有點自婊，但我會說是我的壞習慣

Just last year? Disappointment... - Mhm...

Momiplier：什麼你有什麼壞習慣？ Mark：嗯這不好說這有點像是

Tsk- T- There's so many disappointments. Just this year. Just this past year.

我太習慣於現在創作東西和過生活的步調

You got sick on the tour?... The tour...

這這當我已經有壞習慣時就會很難再去維持一個好習慣

Oh.. I guess that would have been a disappointment. Yeah, but let's focus on like disappointments that were my fault.

像是早起去運動或者是持續參加韓語課程

'Cuz getting sick wasn't my fault. Let's say that I did something and I.. I disappointed.

Momiplier：喔... Mark：對啊(´_ゝ`)

Really?! - Yeah.

Momiplier：沒關係我原諒你，你太忙了、太忙了－ Mark：（辯解中）

I never knew that...

Momiplier：你只是休息、只是休息而已 Mark：（笑） 註：Mark前陣子曾休息過一段時間

I thought you're always perfect.

這問題蠻好笑的：你覺得我的身高對我的年齡而言會太高還是太矮？

In my eyes...

你說「太大」是什麼意思？

Something about the beginning of this video might disagree with that but I- I just put like: "My Bad Habits".

Mark：我的年紀來看我算太高還算太矮？ Momiplier：太高？！

Like that. - What do you have bad habit?

Momiplier：再高一點會更好－ 註：Mark高179公分

Well, it's so hard like this is- like this is basically. It's I...

（Mark：阿母你認真的嗎？）

I'm so ingrained at this point into like a certain habit of like...

－你沒有滿六呎（180公分）高對吧？

making things and like living my life that it's

ლ(・´ｪ`・ლ)

It's- it's just like super hard to get into good habits when I've got so many bad habits that are in the way.

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈開玩笑ㄉ

So like, getting up to exercise in the morning, being consistent about Korean lessons like...

Momiplier：你對我而言是完美的 :3 Mark：（嘟嘴）

Oooohhh... - Yeah. That's right.

這答非所問啊

I forgive you for that.

這根本不是問題

That wasn't... That wasn't specifically.. Wasn't about you. - That's okay. That's okay. You're busy, you were exiled.

他完全離題了啊

You exiled yourself. *Mark laughs*

我的身高之於我的年紀算太高還是太矮？你說呢？

This is a funny question. Do you think.. Do you think I feel too big or too small for my age?

Momiplier：我不能回答，這太私人了 Mark：哩喜咧...

What do you mean too big?

太大隻了

Am I too big or too small... - Too tall?

太大隻(((ﾟДﾟ;)))？！

for my age?

（Mark極度煩躁中）

You could've been a little taller...

太大隻是什麼意思？ （鈴鐺施展牙通牙）

*Offended*

Mark：我不知道 Momiplier：你很完美

You're not quite six-foot. You're under six-foot right?

Mark：我覺得我可以再瘦個幾磅，我的自尊心太巨太ㄎㄨㄞˇ了 Momiplier：喔不不你很完美的

*The sound of betrayal*

Mark：我應該寫下來的「我很完美」 Momiplier：不不你太瘦了（不不你兒子很壯的）

*laughs* I'm joking.

來來我們再一次，再回答一次，我太大隻還是太小隻？

No, you're perfect in my eyes.

太小隻！

But that's not the question.

Mark：我呃...喔拜託喔 -`д´- Momiplier：（大笑）

That wasn't the question at all.

好，我最討厭做什麼家事？

You just went off on a tangent.

打掃房間

Alright, am I too big or too small for my age? What do you think, I think?

你從來都不整理的

I cannot say that...

（Markiplier.exe載入中）

That's so personal. - You abstain...

從不？

I'm too big.

是洗碗

- Too big??

難怪我從來沒看過你在廚房洗碗

*TRIGGER intensifies*

喔...喔...好吧

What do you mean to big?

好個面對現實啊我想

I dunno I guess... - You're perfect.

我最珍惜你送我的什麼禮物？

Guess I could use it- lose a few pounds. - Nooooo!!

喔... ...

My ego's too huge and too swole.

應該蠻簡單的

No no... You're perfect. Don't change.

（Mark：...？）

I'm- I should've have written that. "I"m perfect." - No, no! You're too skinny!

你的外表

Let's do that again hang on. Okay, answer your answer again. Whoa whoa-hoa, am I too big or too small?

那就是我給你最好的禮物

TOO SMALL!

Mark：（大笑）

I'd-- pffeft.. gheg pfoom perfdt!

好像也是

COME ON!

你中了所謂的基因頭彩啊

*laughter*

你瞧，你媽跟你爸只是平凡的...家長...然後我生出你來（帥氣歐巴一枚）

Okay. What chore, do or did I hate the most?

（嘖嘖）

Cleaning your room.

這是位母親可以給兒子最好的禮物

You never pick up anything.

哇喔 :3

*hurt* Never?

我想就某方面來講是正解，因為我的答案是「無條件的支持」

I would've said... "Dishes".

Mark：（笑） Momiplier：（不是很滿意這個答案）

No wonder I never seen you in the kitchen doing dishes.

你知道我可以一直支持著你但如果你－

*laughter*

Mark：－如果我很抽 Momiplier：如果你很醜的話，我不覺得我們可以得到任何人的無條件支持...（超嗆）

Oh uhnn... Okay... - Okay.

...我認真的

Nice reality check I guess...

來自Momiplier的殘酷箴言

What gift from you, have I cherished the most?

所以你得到了我「無條件的支持」，從...

Ooooooooooh~

（Mark媽尋找詞彙中）

That should be easy...

－我理智的庇護

Your good looks. [Thanks Mommiplier] *Mark laughs*

Momiplier：－突變的那種 Mark：（在說三小啊）

That's the best gift I gave to you.

我被你嚇到了(´_ゝ`)

*Mark laughs*

你個怪胎(*´∀`)~♥

I mean, yeah.

我指的是，你知道當時我告訴你我要離開大學的時候，事情變得有點麻煩

You won the genetic lottery, what they call.

但在我開始（YouTube）之後－自從妳知道我可以靠這個賺錢後

You see? Your mom and dad is just normal everyday ...parents....and I produce this product.

妳就是我的頭號粉絲，這真的很棒

Tsk... tsk... tskk... *but approvingly*

Mark：真的很高興可以回家後總是有滿桌菜餚在那 Momiplier：嘿，讓我以你老媽的立場說一句－

Thats the best gift any mother can give it to any son. - Wow.

我有阻止你做過任何事嗎？

Nice physical. [Backpat of mommy approval]

喔！（拍桌）

I.. I think this in some way is a correct answer cause I put: "unconditional support".

...除了有一次外

You know I can support all day long but if you look like...