He is, officially, one of the most influential people of the modern era.

他是官方認定當代最具影響力的人物之一

And he's also a pretty horrible human being.

同時他也是個非常可怕的人類

For over 30 years, Homer's been abusing his kids, lying to his wife, and causing all kinds

過去 30 年來，荷馬曾經欺凌他的孩子、對他老婆說謊還有

of mayhem as a result.

作出各種造成傷害的行為

Hey, we love the guy, but the citizens of Springfield probably lost their affection

嘿，我們喜歡這個傢伙，但斯普林菲爾德 (春田市) 的市民大概早就失去他們

for Homer Simpson long ago.

對荷馬．辛普森的好感

Especially after he did all these things.

特別是他在幹了那麼多「好事」之後

The Maude mishap

莫德夫人的慘劇

Maude Flanders' demise via T-shirt cannon is arguably the most shocking and callous

莫德．弗蘭德斯因為被 T 恤砲擊而死亡，可以說是最震驚與無情的結局

end in The Simpsons' long and storied history.

在辛普森家庭悠久與傳奇的歷史上

In "Alone Again, Natura-Diddily," the Flanders and Simpsons families visit the local racetrack,

在《再次孤身一人，塵歸塵，土歸土》這一集裡，弗蘭德斯家族與辛普森家族到當地競賽場看比賽

and Homer becomes obsessed with the cheerleaders' T-shirt cannons.

而荷馬被啦啦隊的 T 恤大砲給迷住了

Like, really obsessed.

非常著迷

First, he takes off his own shirt, trying to get the cheerleaders' attention.

首先，他脫掉了自己的 T 恤，想要引起啦啦隊的注意

Next, he paints a bull's-eye on his chest.

接下來，他在自己的胸前畫了標靶

Given Homer's size, that would be an easy target — and the cheerleaders let a barrage

考慮到荷馬的體型，那會是個不小的標靶 — 然後啦啦隊員們集中砲火

of T-shirts fly straight at him.

將 T 恤打向他

And then...

然後...

And that's the end of the line for poor Maude, who didn't do anything wrong aside from crossing

可憐的莫德夫人的一生就這樣結束了，她沒做錯什麼事，除了經過

paths with Homer Simpson one too many times.

荷馬．辛普森身旁太多次

Celebrity send-off

歡送名人

Technically, The Simpsons' annual Treehouse of Horror episodes aren't canonical, which

嚴格來說，辛普森家族的年度劇集，《恐怖的樹屋》並沒有詳細規範內容

gives the show's writers plenty of room to stretch their creative muscles and go crazy.

這給與動畫編劇有足夠的空間來展開他們的創造力與瘋狂想法

But even by normal standards, the 2009 Treehouse of Horror segment "How to Get Ahead in DEAD-Vertising"

但即使是以正常標準來看，西元 2009 年的《恐怖的樹屋》部分情節，《如何從死亡廣告中獲得成就》

is extra-creepy.

也是非常詭異

The episode begins as a Mad Men parody but quickly descends into a dark story in which

這一集模仿《廣告狂人》作為開場，但很快地進入一個黑暗的故事

Homer hunts down superstars for money.

荷馬為了錢殺害超級明星

Homer starts by accidentally pushing Krusty the Clown into a woodchipper.

一開始荷馬不小心將小丑庫斯提推進木材切削機

And then he accepts money from advertising executives to drown George Clooney in cement,

然後他接受了廣告業高層的資金，將喬治·克隆尼淹沒在水泥裡

to strangle Prince with his own guitar, and to brain Neil Armstrong with a golf club.

用王子 (本名 Prince·Rogers·Nelson) 自己的吉他將他勒死，還有將高爾夫球桿砸向尼爾·阿姆斯壯的腦袋

If only Homer's non-imaginary adventures weren't also totally nuts...

如果只是荷馬的非想像冒險，也不算完全瘋了

Framing Marge

陷害美枝

If you ask die-hard Simpsons fans to recommend Homer's overall lowest moment, most of them

如果你要死忠的辛普森迷推薦你荷馬最低落的時刻是在哪一集

will probably point you to "Co-Dependent's Day," a Season 15 episode that chronicles

可能大部分人會告訴你《共同依賴的日子》，第 15 季中的一集記錄

Marge's struggle with alcoholism.

美枝對抗酒精中毒的過程

Homer, of course, has been a beer-guzzling booze hound since the very beginning.

荷馬，當然，從一開始就是個極度愛好啤酒的人

But in "Co-Dependent's Day," he enables Marge's addiction.

但在《共同依賴的日子》裡，他允許美枝的酒精成癮

First he takes her to Moe's, then they go to an Oktoberfest celebration.

首先他帶她去 Moe's，然後到慕尼黑啤酒節的慶典

But the worst moment?

但最糟的時刻是什麼時候呢？

That comes when Homer, plastered from the beer festival, tries to drive home and ends

就在荷馬在啤酒節裡喝得爛醉時還試著開車回家

up flipping the car.

結果翻車了

When the police arrive, he frames Marge, who's even more drunk than he is.

當警察抵達，他陷害那個喝得比他多的美枝

Marge goes to jail for driving under the influence, and later checks into a rehab facility.

因為酒醉開車，美枝被抓到監獄，後來進入復健中心

Homer, meanwhile, doesn't face a single consequence.

與此同時，荷馬並沒有面臨任何後果

Now that's Homer's style of justice.

那就是荷馬式的正義

Vegas vows

拉斯維加斯誓言

As the saying goes, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas"— unless you're Homer Simpson.

有一句老話是這麼說「過去的就讓他過去」— 除非你是荷馬·辛普森

In the episode "Viva Ned Flanders" Homer takes Ned to Vegas for a night of crazy fun.

在《內德·弗蘭德斯萬歲！》這集，荷馬帶內德到拉斯維加斯狂歡一整夜

When they wake up from their booze-soaked all-nighter, they're married to their waitresses from the night before.

當他們從整夜狂歡的酒精浴池裡醒來，發現他們在昨晚跟他們的服務生結婚了

So they flee back to Springfield and forget about their second wives...for about three seasons.

所以他們逃回斯普林菲爾德 (春田市) 並且忘記他們第二個老婆，大概有三季之久

In "Brawl in the Family," the two cocktail waitresses track down their husbands.

在《家庭爭吵》中，這兩位雞尾酒服務生找上了她們的老公

After a judge refuses to annul Homer's marriage to Amber, he takes matters into his own hands

在法官拒絕撤銷荷馬跟安柏的婚姻後，他只好採取行動搞定這件事

and gets the woman drunk.

他讓這個女人喝醉了

When Amber wakes up, she's married to Homer's dad.

當安柏醒來，她已經跟荷馬的父親結婚了

Horrified Amber takes off for Vegas as soon as possible.

嚇壞了的安柏以最快的速度跑回拉斯維加斯

It's a funny way to turn the tables...until you actually think about it for, like, two seconds.

這是個有趣的方法來扭轉局面，直到你真的思考過這個方法，多想一下

That's pretty creepy, Homer.

那真的是很詭異，荷馬

Kidney failure

腎臟失能

In the Season 10 episode "Kidney Trouble," we all learn a valuable lesson: Homer's an

在第 10 季《腎臟問題》中，我們都學到了寶貴的一課：荷馬是個

even bigger jerk than we thought.

比我們想像中還要混蛋的混蛋

In the first half of the episode, Homer causes his dad Abe's kidneys to explode...because

在這集前半段，荷馬讓他爸亞伯·辛普森的腎臟爆掉...因為

he doesn't want to stop to let him use the bathroom.

他不想停車讓亞伯上廁所

The doctor tells Abe he's a goner without a transplant, and fortunately, Homer is an

醫生告訴亞伯如果他不移植腎臟就會死，幸運地是，荷馬的腎臟

exact match.

配對結果相當合適

Less fortunately...well, it's Homer.

有點不是那麼幸運，沒錯，就是荷馬本人

While Homer agrees to donate a kidney, he takes off just before the surgery, leaving

當荷馬同意捐出一個腎臟，他在手術前逃跑了

his father alone and in pain.

留下他父親一人受苦

Abe only gets the life-saving organ he needs after Homer gets hit by a car and knocked

在荷馬被車撞到並陷入昏迷後亞伯只能依靠維生器官生存

unconscious, giving Doctor Hibbert time to steal Homer's kidney and complete the procedure.

這給了醫生希伯特足夠的時間偷走荷馬的腎臟並完成手術

Homer the henchman

幫兇荷馬

Homer Simpson has had many, many jobs, but he's only been good at one.

荷馬·辛普森做過很多很多工作，但他最擅長的只有一個

Unfortunately, that happened to be when he was working for Hank Scorpio, a straight-up

很不幸地，這發生在當他為漢克·斯科皮奧工作時，一個貨真價實的

supervillain.

超級反派

This is Homer we're talking about, of course, and he doesn't ever actually notice that Scorpio

當然我們在說的是荷馬，而且他實際上根本沒注意到斯科皮奧

is really a criminal mastermind.

真的是個犯罪首腦

He's too busy doing literally anything else to realize that he's helping Scorpio conquer

他太認真在做所有交辦的工作，以致於沒有發覺他正在幫斯科皮奧征服

the world.

世界

"I'm having some trouble with the government."

「我跟政府之間有些問題。」

"Awww… those jerks always walking over the small businessman."

「噢...那些混蛋總是對小生意人很刻薄。」

Even worse, Homer doesn't notice that his family is absolutely miserable in Scorpio's

更糟的是，荷馬並沒有注意到他的家人在斯科皮奧的房子裡感到相當痛苦

compound until it's too late.

直到最後為時已晚

Eventually, he comes around, and Scorpio lets Homer return to Springfield — but not before

終於，他清醒過來，斯科皮奧也讓荷馬回到斯普林菲爾德 (春田市)— 但

Scorpio's forces manage to conquer the East Coast.

是在斯科皮奧的軍隊征服東岸之後

Good job, Homer.

幹得好，荷馬

They couldn't have done it without you.

如果沒有你，他們不可能辦到

Neighborly wish

為鄰居祈願

Homer has gone out of his way to make Flanders' life miserable plenty of times, but what he

荷馬一直不遺餘力地讓弗蘭德斯的生活充滿痛苦，但他在

does in the Season 3 episode "When Flanders Failed" might take the cake.

第 3 季《當弗蘭德斯失敗時》這集裡的所作所為可能會讓你更意外

At a backyard barbecue, Flanders announces that he's quitting his job to open his own

當他們在後院烤肉時，弗蘭德斯宣布他要辭掉工作並開一間自己的店

store, the Leftorium.

左撇子商店

So, naturally, Homer uses the powers of a wishbone — to wish for Ned's business to fail.

所以，當然地荷馬使用許願骨的力量 — 祈求內德的事業會失敗

It works.

他成功了

The Leftorium goes out of business, Ned's house is repossessed, and the Flanderses are

左撇子商店倒閉，內德的家也被查封，而弗蘭德斯一家

forced to move into their car.

被迫住在他們的車裡

Sure, Homer eventually saves Ned from bankruptcy, but Ned never would've been in trouble in

當然，荷馬最終還是將內德從破產中拯救出來，但如果荷馬不是這麼個混蛋

the first place if Homer hadn't been such a jerk.

內德一開始根本不會遭遇這樣的問題

But that's Homer for ya!

但這就是荷馬！

"When he's least expecting it, bash his head in with a chair."

「在他預期之外，用板凳來個迎頭痛擊。」

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感謝你的收看！

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點擊 Looper 圖樣來訂閱我們的 YouTube 頻道

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還要來看看這些超酷的影片，我們知道你也會喜歡