Where Jessica at?

Uh... You're...

I'm here for Jessica. Get her.

Sorry. Um... [elevator dings]

I wasn't expecting...

[girls laughing] Mmm. Look at that!

Can I talk to you for a second first?

I don't know, man.

I got another waiting for me in, like, an hour.

Wait. What time is it?

Like, 2?

I have to pick her up at 7, so...

Yeah, an hour.

Yeah, I'm gonna need to talk to you first. Come on in.

[sighs]

So you're gonna take Jessica out.

Yeah, I mean, sure, man. I don't care. Whatever.

Well, this is Jessica's first time going out with somebody

and, um... I think I'm pretty liberal

but I just feel a little nervous as I'm sure you understand--

[coughs] Nerd!

And-- You just... aren't what I was expecting.

Sweet.

[SCOTT] Mmm... I wouldn't use that word.

I thought you'd be like a high school kid.

[laughs]

Who still goes to high school?

I mean, basically everybody.

Losers.

How about you tell me about yourself before you...

ruin her forever?

[MACK] Oh, no problem, dude.

I'm, uh, 20 something.

I actually don't know my age

because my mom used my birth certificate

to light my dad's car on fire when I was a kid.

But it really wasn't her fault because she thought

I wasn't her kid at the time.

She has, like, no memory of being pregnant.

She says there's, like, this five year period where

she was blacked out all the time

and when she came to, I was just there.

She was like, "Who the hell is this kid bringing me a beer?"

[laughs] So, yeah, she thought she was just

burning some random piece of paper, not, like,

the thing that tells you how old I am.

I'm like, "I get it, Mom. It's cool. It happens."

So, yeah. It's always just kinda been a ballpark thing.

But people say I look young for my age.

But you don't know how old you are.

I still look young. Duh.

Okay, well. That was informative.

So... where Jessica at?

Yeah...

I'm not sure about this.

Are you scared?

- [SCOTT] Of you? - Yeah.

Yeah.

Sweet.

No, not sweet. Look, I'm trying not to be the control freak.

I just wanna make sure Jessica is in good hands.

Aw, dude. My hands are the bomb.

I can literally pick up a watermelon with one hand.

Like, the whole thing.

Wow.

And then I can chuck it through my dad's window!

'Cause that's what he gets for leaving us, Dad!

Uh...

Watermelons are pretty big.

I don't know if you knew that, dude.

Yeah, I... knew that.

Can I get a beer?

No!

But I'm gonna get one.

Look, it seems like you've been through some stuff.

I just wanna make sure you treat Jessica well.

Oh, don't worry. I got her.

No, see, the wink actually made me worry.

No, don't worry. I got her.

You did it again. It's not helping.

Is Jessica a bad girl?

What?

Like, does she do bad things and you have to be like,

"Ooh, Jessica. You're bad."

I... wouldn't... say that... to her... like that.

"Bad, bad girl."

No! She's good.

I don't mind if she's bad. I've taken out a lot of bad girls.

Some bad boys, too.

Sure.

[MACK] I kinda like it when they're bad.

'Cause then I can teach 'em some discipline.

No, you don't need to "discipline" Jessica.

She's good.

Oh, they all start out good.

And then they're with me.

And they're like, "Ooh. Dad's not around. I can be bad."

She's always been good!

You never scolded her? Spanked her?

Sprayed her with the hose?

Who would do that?

[MACK] My dad.

Hey, do you have any watermelons around here?

This isn't gonna work out.

Dude. I get it.

I look all, like, hard and stuff,

and it makes people be like...

"Whoa".

Well said.

But I promise, deep down I'm a real softie.

Mmmm...

Why don't we let Jessica decide for herself?

Jessica!

[footsteps]

Your dog walker's here. Do you wanna go out with him?

Are you a bad girl?

No, she's a good girl!

You're a good girl.

See?

I'm sorry. I just think it's too much for her to--

[footsteps]

They all start off good.

She-- She needs to be home by 3.

Um...

Just call me if you need anything. Anything at all.

You're gonna be a good girl, Jessica.

Good girl.

Don't worry.

I got her.

Bad, bad girl.

[dog barks]