you expect the librarian to help you find your next favorite book

當你走進你附近的公共圖書館時，

or some accurate information on a topic at interest.

會期待圖書館員幫你找到 下一本你喜歡的書，

You don't probably expect the librarian

或關於某個主題的準確信息。

to come running out from behind the reference desk with Narcan,

你大概不指望圖書館員

ready to revive someone overdosing on heroin or fentanyl.

拿著納洛酮（Narcan） 從參考諮詢服務臺後面跑出來，

But this is happening at some libraries.

準備救醒過量使用 海洛因或吩坦尼的人。

Public libraries have always been about community support

但這正發生在一些圖書館裡。

with all kinds of services and programs

一直以來，公共圖書館 以支持社區為目標，

from assisting with job seeking efforts

提供各種服務和方案：

to locating resources for voter rights

幫助找工作、

to providing free meals to kids and teens even.

找選民權利的資源，

But what we think of as community support takes on new urgency

甚至提供兒童和青少年免費的餐點。

when you're in the middle of an opioid and overdose crisis.

但處於類鴉片和過量危機之間，

I work at the McPherson Square Library of the Free Library of Philadelphia.

帶來了新的社區支持急迫感。

It's located in Kensington,

我任職於費城免費的 麥克弗森廣場圖書館，

one of the lowest income communities in Philadelphia,

位於費城最低收入社區之一的肯辛頓，

with a long history of being isolated from resources and opportunity.

與資源和機會隔絕的歷史悠久。

And because of that,

因此，數十年來，

it has been the center to the city's drug trade and drug use for decades.

它一直是該市毒品貿易 和毒品使用的中心。

And so inside the neighborhood,

位置在社區裡，

our library is nestled inside of a park,

我們的圖書館坐落在一個公園內，

which has unfortunately garnered a reputation

不幸的是公園已廣為人知

for being a place to find and use drugs,

是尋找和使用毒品，

especially heroin,

特別是海洛因的公開場合，

out in the open,

使我們和社區

putting us and the community in direct contact

天天直接接觸到毒品的交易和使用。

with the drug trade and use on a daily basis.

所以在圖書館裡

And so inside the library,

常看到明顯恍神的類鴉片藥物吸毒者，

it is routine to see people visibly intoxicated on opioids:

他們眼睛閉著，身體緩慢搖擺。

eyes closing, body swaying slowly.

問他們是否還好成了我的例行公事；

It is routine for me to ask them if they are OK,

同時還得提醒他們，

but at the same time remind them

如果他們睜不開眼睛

if they can't keep their eyes open,

就必須離開。

they have to go.

我們的志願者泰迪

It is routine for our volunteer, Teddy,

在我們圖書館範圍和整個公園裡，

to pick up dozens of discarded needles on our property and throughout the park.

收集數十個丟棄的針頭也是例行公事。

And it is normal for kids to come into the library

常有孩子們進入圖書館

to tell me or our guard, Sterling,

告訴我或我們的守衛斯特林，

that someone is outside using,

有人在外面使用，通常意思是：

which typically means finding someone injecting on our front steps,

看到有人在我們前面的台階上、

benches

長凳上

or near the building,

或圖書館附近注射毒品。

then asking them to move along because kids see them.

我們得要求他們離開， 因為孩子看到他們用毒品了。

And it is normal for the community

社區常看得到處於各式 恍神和退縮狀態的人們，

to see people in various states of intoxication and withdrawal,

看到人們購買和出售毒品，

to see people buying and selling,

和看到人們的暴力行為和反應。

and to see people act and react violently.

我說這事不是要讓肯辛頓 聽起來危言聳聽。

I'm not sharing this to sensationalize Kensington.

而是因為這是

I'm sharing this because this is the reality of a community

不斷努力前進的社區的現實；

that is constantly striving to move forward,

但是由於諸如結構性種族主義、

but due to factors like structural racism,

城市隔離、

urban segregation,

周期性的貧困和創傷等因素，

the cyclical nature of poverty,

導致社區的機會不平等，

of trauma --

諸如受教育、

the community has inequitable access

醫療保健、就業和其他的不平等。

to education, health care, employment and more.

當毒品的交易和使用

And this is also what it's like when the drug trade and use

影響到鄰里生活的 每個方面時就會是這樣；

affects every aspect of life in the neighborhood.

而鴉片類疫情只會放大這種壓力。

And the opioid epidemic has only amplified that stress.

在 2013 年免費圖書館雇用我時，

When I was hired by the Free Library in 2013,

我特別選擇在麥克弗森任職，

I specifically chose to work at McPherson

因為我了解在這樣的環境裡長大，

because I understand what it's like to grow up in an environment

日常使用毒品所造成的紊亂感覺。

where substance use disorder shapes the everyday,

我想以個人的經歷

and I wanted to use those personal experiences

作為工作的指導。

as a guide for my work.

但在談那之前，

But before I get to that,

我想分享在肯辛頓

I want to share what it was like

見證這種流行病的增長是什麼樣子。

to witness this epidemic grow in Kensington.

像許多其他社區一樣 我們就是還沒準備好。

Like many other communities, we were just not prepared.

我們開始注意到這樣的景況：

We began to take notice of IDs we were seeing:

先是州北部的附近幾個郡，

addresses from nearby and upstate counties

然後慢慢地有外州的，

and then slowly out-of-state ones.

來自阿肯色州、俄亥俄州、 南卡羅來納州、阿拉巴馬州的人

People from Arkansas, Ohio, South Carolina, Alabama

來費城購買便宜的海洛因。

coming to Philadelphia for cheap heroin.

人們開始在我們的公廁裡 逗留的時間越來越長，

People began to linger longer and longer in our public restroom,

導致我們得更關注洗手間，

causing us to pay more attention to the restroom

而不是我們的日常工作責任，

than to our daily responsibilities

因為廁所是使用 剛買的毒品的便利場所。

because it was an accessible place to use drugs just purchased.

有一天我們的廁所馬桶被嚴重堵塞，

One day our toilet clogged so badly in the restroom,

使得圖書館被迫關閉了兩天，

we were forced to close our library for two days

因為堵塞的罪魁禍首是廢棄的針頭。

because the culprit of the clog was discarded needles.

在事件發生前一段時間，

For a while prior to that incident,

我們一直在尋求在廁所裡 裝個放尖物的容器；

we had been asking for a sharps container for the restroom,

在那之後，

and after that,

圖書館的管理部門 迅速批准裝了一個，

the library administration quickly approved installing one

也裝了廁所的監視器。

along with hiring bathroom monitors.

隨著天氣變暖，

And as the weather warmed,

我們努力因應。

we struggled to respond.

人們開始在公園裡露宿幾天、幾週。

People began camping out in the park for days, weeks.

在陽光明媚、溫暖的一天外出散步，

You could walk outside on a sunny, warm day

會看到各式各樣恍神的人們，

to find multiple groups of people in various states of intoxication

以及在他們之間穿梭玩耍的孩子。

and children playing in between them.

泰迪每個月收集的針頭數急遽增加，

The amount of needles collected by Teddy on a monthly basis skyrocketed

從 100 增加到 300、 到 500、到 800，

from 100 to 300 to 500 to 800,

到超過 1,000，

to over 1,000,

發現許多針頭棄置在 我們前面的台階和操場上。

with many found on our front steps and the playground.

還有吸食過量。

Then there were the overdoses.

很多發生在圖書館外的公園，

So many occurred outside in the park,

有些發生在圖書館內。

some inside the library.

我們的守衛斯特林

Sterling, our guard, would spend his time walking in and out of the building

會花時間進出大樓和整個公園，

and throughout the park,

不間斷地確保每個人都安然無恙，

constantly making sure everyone was safe,

因為有時候我們所害怕的

because at times,

有人會吸毒過量致死差一點發生了。

our fear of having someone overdose and die came close.

有次的過量事件發生在放學後，

One overdose in particular occurred after school,

當時圖書館裡滿是孩子、 噪音和騷動。

so the library was full of kids, noise and commotion.

就在這一切聲音當中，

And in all of that,

我們聽到了公共洗手間內 有人倒地的聲音。

we heard the thud from inside the public restroom.

我們打開門時， 發現地板上有個人昏迷不醒。

When we opened the door, we found a man on the floor, unresponsive.

每個人都看得到他被拉出來──

He was pulled out in plain sight of everyone --

孩子、青少年、成人和家庭。

kids, teens, adults, families.

有個圖書館員打電話給 911，

Someone on staff called 911,

另一個陪著孩子和青少年們下樓，

someone else escorted the kids and teens downstairs,

還有一個去公園指揮救護車。

somebody went to flag down the ambulance in the park.

而我們其他人只是等著。

And the rest of us --

這已成為我們的過量演習，

we just waited.

因為當時我們只能如此。

This had become our overdose drill

我們等著、看著這個人吸不到氣、

because at the time, it was all we could do.

痙攣，

So we waited and we watched this man lose air --

他快死了。

seize up.

我不知道你們之中有多少人 目睹過鴉片類藥物的過量使用。

He was dying.

它真可怕。

I don't know how many of you have witnessed an overdose on opioids,

因為正如你所知，掙扎著要吸到氣、

but it's horrific

臉色變蒼白，

because you know the gasping for air,

是這個人生命流逝的倒數計時。

the loss of color in someone's face,

但這個人很幸運，

is a timer running down on the chances of this person surviving.

救護車到了，

But luckily for this man,

給他注射一劑納洛酮。

the ambulance arrived

我記得他像被觸電一樣震起，

and he received a dose of naloxone through injection.

他拔出針頭，

And I remember he jolted like he was electrocuted,

告訴醫務人員退後，

and he pulled the needle out,

然後站起來，走了出去。

and he told the paramedics to back off.

而我們──

And then he stood up, and he walked out.

我們繼續工作，

And we --

因為人們仍要求使用電腦，

we went back to work

孩子們仍需協助完成作業，

because people were still asking for time on the computers,

這是我們的工作、我們的用途。

kids still needed help with their homework

我認為是因為等待 而使我忘不了這件事。

and this was our job --

等待讓我感到無助。

our purpose.

那種無助感讓我憶起童年。

I think that incident stays with me because of the waiting.

我出生前父母開始吸食海洛因，

It made me feel helpless.

使得我們的生活變得混亂不穩：

And it was that feeling of helplessness that reminded me so well of my childhood.

許下的諾言不斷地被打破，

Before I was born, both of my parents began using heroin.

他們的爭執和秘密的重量，

It made our lives chaotic and unstable:

我們秘密的重量

promises being made and constantly broken,

把我們大多的生活 排除在所謂「正常」之外。

their fighting, the weight of their secret --

每當我們被丟在祖父母家時，

the weight of our secret kept so much so-called "normal" out of our lives.

認為我再也見不照他們的 想法揮之不去。

Every time we'd be dropped off at our grandparent's house,

每當我們被留在車裡、 在房子裡、在商店裡，

I'd be stuck on the thought that I was never going to see them again.

我都會哭泣。

Every time we'd be left in a car, at a house, at a store,

每當我看到那些高架列車── （註：市區載客通勤的高架列車）

I'd cry.

我去麥克弗森工作 日常搭乘的那些列車──

And every time I saw those El tracks --

在車的後座

the same ones I take to work now to McPherson --

我都會生氣，

from the backseat of a car,

因為即使孩子們也看得出

I'd be angry,

他們的父母正打算要吸毒。

because even kids know

我幾近無法控制周圍發生的事情，

when their parents are trying to score drugs.

那種無助感壓垮了我。

There was so little I could do to control what was going on around me,

我掙扎於學業、讀書之中，

that that feeling of helplessness was overwhelming.

我很容易生氣和沮喪。

I struggled in school, struggled to read,

我 11 歲時開始吸煙，

I was prone to anger and depression.

不久後導致我自己吸毒和酗酒。

When I was 11 years old, I started smoking,

那時我相信 父母的過去將會是我的未來。

which shortly after led to my own experiences with drugs and alcohol.

但最終我的雙親戒毒了，

I convinced myself that my parents' past would be my future.

並且一直維持著不再用鴉片類藥物。

But eventually both of my parents entered recovery

他們的力量和承諾

and maintained recovery from opioid use.

為我和兄弟姐妹提供了支持和穩定，

And their strength and their commitment

正是那些個人的經歷 將我帶到麥克弗森。

provided support and stability for me and my siblings,

選擇成為圖書館員，

and it was those personal experiences that brought me to McPherson.

並且選擇在麥克弗森工作，

Choosing to be a librarian

讓我摒棄了那種無助的感覺，

and choosing to be at McPherson

並且設法幫助別人。

was me letting go of that feeling of helplessness

一種提供幫助的方法

and finding ways to be supportive to others.

是學習如何施用納洛酮。

And one way to provide support

公共圖書館回應社區的需求，

was learning how to administer Narcan.

而不知道如何利用納洛酮

Public libraries respond to the needs of their communities,

有損我們社區的需求。

and not knowing how to utilize Narcan

我們站在前線，

was a disservice to the needs of our community.

急需獲得這種救生的工具。

We were on the frontlines

終於在 2017 年 2 月下旬，

and desperately needed access to this lifesaving tool.

經過多次倡導之後，

So finally in late February of 2017,

我們終於接受費城預防點的培訓，

after much advocating,

大約一個月後，

we finally received training from Prevention Point Philadelphia

我首次用納洛酮拯救別人的性命。

and about a month of so later,

那又是放學後，

I utilized Narcan for the first time to save someone's life.

泰迪走進圖書館，

It was after school again,

說前頭的長椅上有人吸毒過量。

and Teddy came into the library

有個館員再次打電話給 911，

and said someone was overdosing on a front bench.

我一把拿起納洛酮工具箱。

Someone on staff called 911 again,

那女人剛 20 歲出頭， 幾乎沒呼吸。

and I grabbed the Narcan kit.

她的朋友瘋狂地拍打她的臉頰，

The woman was barely in her 20s and barely breathing.

希望拍醒她。

Her friend was frantically slapping her in the face

我通過她的鼻腔注入納洛酮，

in hopes of reviving her.

幸好她醒了過來。

I administered the Narcan nasally,

但在救護車到達之前，

and thankfully she came to.

她和她的朋友跑走了。

But before the ambulance arrived,

當我終於轉身時，

she and her friend ran off.

看到了那些孩子──

And when I finally turned around,

那些每天進圖書館的孩子，

I saw the kids --

有些我已經認識多年了──

kids that come into the library on a daily basis,

站在大樓的台階上。

some that I have known for years --

他們看到了一切。

standing on the steps of the building.

他們看起來並未 明顯的不安或受到驚嚇，

They saw everything.

於是我返回大樓，

And they didn't seem like they were visibly upset or in shock,

進入我們的工作室，哭了起來。

and so I walked into the building,

我哭的部分原因是剛剛發生的事情，

right into our workroom, and I cried.

因我未曾想過會拯救任何人的性命；

I cried partly from the shock of what just happened

但我更為孩子而哭，

because I never thought I'd be saving anybody's life ever,

這是他們的日常所見，

but I mostly cried because of the kids.

是社區的常態。

This is their normal.

這是個災難性的正常情況，

This is the community's normal.

在那一刻，

This is a catastrophic normal,

我被迫再次面對這種 永遠不該是日常的情況，

and in that moment,

就像我的童年一樣，

I was forced to confront once again that this should never be normal,

當你身處其中，就只能接受它。

and as with my childhood,

鴉片類物質的流行不僅是因為

when you're in it, you just accept it.

有鴉片類藥物使用障礙的患者，

The opioid epidemic is not just about those living

因為這種流行的範圍

with opioid use disorder

遠超出和這些患者 及其家屬一起生活的範圍，

because the reach of the epidemic goes well beyond those living with this

它影響到整個社區。

and their families.

在這之前肯辛頓 已是個處於危機之中的社區，

It impacts the entire community.

因為地方性和交織性的原因。

Kensington was a community in crisis before this

熟悉鄰里的人可以想到是為什麼：

for reasons that are endemic and intertwined,

種族的差異、

and anyone familiar with the neighborhood can think of why:

地方和聯邦政府沒適當地資助學校、

racial disparities,

缺乏經濟機會。

failure of local and federal government to properly fund schools,

而我們在麥克弗森嘗試

lack of economic opportunity.

找方法來幫助社區擺脫危機。

And what we're trying to do at McPherson

也許現在由於疫情的影響，

is find ways to support this community out of crisis.

更多的人關注肯辛頓。

And perhaps now, because of the epidemic,

但不管如何，

more people are paying attention to Kensington.

在麥克弗森，

But regardless of that,

我們將繼續盡我們所能 利用現有的資源，

at McPherson,

我們將繼續提供任何協助，

we will continue to do what we can with the resources we have

以期保持我們的社區安全和健康，

and we will continue to provide whatever help we can

因為一直以來 公共圖書館不僅僅是書籍；

in hopes of keeping our community safe and healthy

我們是實體的庇護所、

because public libraries have always been more than just books.

教室、

We are physical shelter,