字幕列表 影片播放
-
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you feel people don't listen to you?
-
I mean you know they hear you, but they don't listen to you.
-
So, the following is usually what happens. Let's see if you have been in that situation.
-
You are in a meeting or a social gathering, you say something;
-
And when you don't get the attention you want, then you start rephrasing the same sentence.
-
You do that right?
-
I know you do it.
-
That's what happens.
-
Because you are thinking “oh they didn't understand me”.
-
So, I should continue explaining it more.
-
Then you use different words to explain the same thing.
-
When that doesn't work, you start changing your pitch, your speed.
-
And eventually, you end up talking about the same thing for 5 minutes. Just using different words and with different prosody.
-
Nothing works.
-
This happens all the time.
-
A few years ago, one of my junior consultants from my team came out of a meeting crying.
-
She was crying.
-
It was not particularly a good meeting with our client.
-
But she was crying because they didn't really pay much attention to her.
-
She felt unimportant.
-
Why is this happening to me, I am a good consultant.
-
I am a Stanford graduate.
-
I deserve better.
-
Then, she said it's happening, because she's a junior consultant.
-
It's because of her title.
-
Then, she said it's happening because she's a girl.
-
I said no.
-
It had nothing to do with it.
-
Now, I'll share with you what I shared with her that day.
-
First, a bit of a disclaimer here, this video isn't about how to speak effectively.
-
I am not going to talk about your pitch, speed, and prosody.
-
I'm gonna talk about something in my opinion a lot more important than that.
-
In fact, I am going to talk about a prerequisite to delivering a great speech.
-
Because, even if you are a worldclass toastmaster, that you can give the best speech in the world,
-
it makes no difference if your audience isn't ready to receive your message.
-
So, that's what this video is all about.
-
Getting your audience ready to listen to you.
-
Let's start; To get through to anyone, to get your message
-
processed by your audience, you have to first understand how the brain works.
-
So, at any given time, we have 2 systems at work.
-
One is always active and the other one is idle.
-
The 1st system is fast, instinctive and emotional.
-
It's mostly automatic and it's our unconscious way of thinking.
-
For example, if I ask you what does 4 by 4 equal to.
-
You already know the answer is 16 and you don't need to “think” to come up with
-
that answer.
-
So, that's system 1 talking.
-
It just blurted out the answer without even having to think about it.
-
You go to shopping you look at various food options, and you just pick what comes to your
-
mind. You don't go through it proper strategy of their nutrition evaluation
-
Maybe you do, but not majority for us.
-
You just felt like eating pasta.
-
And you bought Pasta.
-
95% of your time awake, you are in this system.
-
Ok, let's move on to the System 2.
-
The system 2 is the one that represents your conscious thoughts.
-
This system is the one that is capable of following instructions, connecting dots, and
-
making analogies.
-
It is smart, analytical, and accurate.
-
It is your mental superpower if I ask you to calculate 21 by 78 then your
-
brain will engage System 2 to find the answer.
-
Which means it'll be slow, but accurate…
-
Something you need to know here. System 2 is also very energy intensive, and
-
it simply doesn't want to work unless it really has to.
-
So, whenever possible it will stay in the background, in idle position, conserve your
-
energy, and only engage when it's absolutely necessary.
-
We don't like thinking.
-
Thinking is uncomfortable.
-
Now, let's talk about what this means to you when you are speaking with other people.
-
Be your boss, a client, your spouse, your team, your friends… doesn't matter.
-
Here's your punchline, you'll fail miserably if you are talking
-
about something important to System 1 side of your audience .
-
Did you get this?
-
I don't care how amazing of a toastmaster you are.
-
I don't care if you are the most charismatic speaker in the world.
-
You won't get what you want.
-
Try teaching your kids special relativity when they are playing in the park.
-
Good luck with that.
-
As I said, you won't get what you want if you talk to system 1.
-
You want to talk to System 2.
-
Ok, the natural question to follow is, obviously, how do you do it?
-
I mean it's the brain of the audience.
-
How is it possible that I can change their state?
-
I mean I can't just say alright now you turn on the system 2. You know, it just won't work.
-
So
-
Umm...
-
Obviously not.
-
But, there are certain things I do, which triggers the activation of system 2 in my
-
audience so my message gets properly processed.
-
Now, I am going to teach you how I do it.
-
One more disclaimer here. What I covered so far was scientific.
-
A Nobel Laurette Dr. Daniel Kahneman has a great book on this topic.
-
If you are interested please feel free to read more in his book.
-
Now, what will follow isn't necessarily very scientific.
-
I'll share with you what I do, and I'll share with you what I know works for me and works for those around
-
me whom learned it from me.
-
It's not an absolute blueprint to follow but it's a good guideline and based on this
-
guidelines you can create your own versions.
-
There are 3 techniques that you can achieve
-
the result you want.
-
The first one is giving your audience a task.
-
The task needs to be easy enough, so they don't ignore you. But difficult enough so System 1 can't
-
handle on its own.
-
Remember we talked about this earlier.
-
Like how 4 by 4 equals to 16 that you know the answer.
-
But if I ask you
-
21 by 73 then your brain needs engaged to
-
System 2 to find the answer. So, for example
-
Let me show you with an example. I can't remember now, what was the confidence
-
score from Nielsenn's report?”
-
Another one “ Can you let me know what methodology you
-
used for this.” “ What is the name of the finance director
-
from the ABC Client” The examples I gave are fairly simple ones.
-
But the important takeaway is that it's a task that requires thinking to arrive an
-
answer.
-
So, this was your first method.
-
The second method is giving a command. This is comparably less effective compared to the
-
first and the third technique but doesn't hurt to share it here.
-
Here is an example. “I'd like you to now pay attention to
-
what I am about to say” Then pause.
-
“ Please listen carefully.” Then pause for a few seconds again. So the brain catches up
-
And let's now talk about the third technique which I use very frequently. This is a bit more complex.
-
But I found that it works a lot better than any of previous 2 techniques.
-
So, this technique is all about first creating uncertainty and a potential for a challenge.
-
Let me just quickly demonstrate what I mean by that.
-
Then, we'll break it down.
-
It's like this.“I see your point...”
-
“I understand.
-
But uhmm” “That's interesting… However,..”
-
Or you can just simply shock the audience.
-
Let me give you an example about this, I remember an instance a couple of years ago, at PwC Consulting, we were working
-
with our government client.
-
And we were in a monthly project update meeting with the minister himself.
-
And it was a very large meeting.
-
Easily 50 people in a very long narrow table. Everyone is very nervous.
-
So, consultants and project leads present their projects.
-
But everyone was kind of bored out of their minds.
-
I mean the person who is presenting was very nervous and everyone else was bored.
-
And the minister wasn't engaged. So,
-
basically,
-
the meeting was serving very little purpose.
-
When my turn came to present the updates for my projects.
-
I knew that my projects were way too important to fall on deaf ears.
-
Plus, I needed minister's support on something.
-
that means I needed the full attention.
-
I needed to speak to System 2 side of my audience. And most importantly,
-
the minister himself. So, before I presented my projects.
-
I first primed the audience and I said“I am going to make a confession”
-
“My project is failing”.
-
Then, I shocked the audience and minister himself.
-
Then I said, it's failing because while on our implementation
-
plan, my project is on budget, schedule, and the quality.
-
But, we are not doing an excellent job in terms of training the local talent in our
-
teams.
-
When this engagement is over, I am not confident - as of now- whether they will be able to
-
take it over from us.
-
But, I have a plan.”
-
That's when I fully engaged the minister himself.
-
Because I knew that's what he cared about the most.
-
He wasn't interested in the boring details of our projects, their schedule, and timelines, and the charts
-
and fancy powerpoint slides.
-
No!
-
He wanted to know whether 2 months from now when we leave, if the local resources will
-
be able to carry on the good work we are doing.
-
He'll be there for 4 years not 2 months.
-
He's not interested in a 2 month sprint.
-
He wants to win the marathon.
-
So this was great for me.
-
With that opening, he got totally engaged, fully immersed.
-
He understood my bottlenecks, he helped with assigning new resources, and got so many doors
-
open.
-
So, I got everything I wanted from that meeting.
-
And without priming the audience, getting them into the System 2 state, this would have been impossible. I'll be just like
-
49 others before me.
-
Before me, over 20 project managers presented and they got nothing out of that meeting.
-
I was the only one who got all the support he wanted.
-
OK, this video is done, but before you go.
-
I have something important to say.
-
I wanted to say this in previous videos, but I somehow kept forgetting.
-
If you like me, if you like my videos, and if you want to see more of these career hacks,
-
I need a favor from you.
-
I need you to share it in Linkedin or Twitter, or both.
-
If this channel is to grow, it can only grow thanks to you.
-
I can share my point of view, I can share my decades of management consulting experience,
-
and all the challenges I faced and how I overcame them so you can benefit from my experience.
-
But if you don't share and spread the message.
-
Our reach will always be limited.
-
If this channel will grow, it will only grow because of you. And thanks to you.
-
So, let's share.
-
And in fact, if you do share in Linkedin, please send me an invitation to connect.
-
Let's connect, let's talk.
-
I'd love to be connected to you.
-
I'd love to hear about you.
-
Send me a message.
-
I'll respond.
-
I am a real person.
-
Not a digital reflection on a computer as you see me in the moment.
-
And if we can create this synergy for growth, together, I have one promise for you.
-
I will never ever waste your time with any of my videos.
-
If you see a video coming from me, it will not be some stupid “3 tips for Resume Successs”
-
No.
-
It will be valuable and it will have substance, something that's worth your time.
-
Ok. now, see you next week!
-
And finally, if you are unemployed or underemployed, or you are looking to make a transition in
-
your career, I strongly recommend you check out my LIG program.
-
Over 1,000 people have already joined so far and we have transformed over 600 of those careers.
-
The link should be in the description box.
-
Now, see you next week!
