so if it was one, two, three, four, it's you, sir.

那麼如果我數一、二、三、四，就是你，先生。

You. Yeah. (Laughter)

就是你，沒錯（笑聲）。

With the weird teeth. And you next to him. (Laughter)

有奇怪牙齒的那個。還有他旁邊那個。（笑聲）

You know who you are.

你知道我在指誰。

Actually, that whole row isn't right. (Laughter)

其實這整排的人都不太對勁。（笑聲）

That's not good. Hi. Yeah. Real bad. Don't even look at me. (Laughter)

這樣很不好。嗨！對。你很糟。連看我都別想。（笑聲）

I am one of the one in four. Thank you.

我就是那四人中的一個。謝謝。

I think I inherit it from my mother, who,

我想我是從我媽媽那裡遺傳到疾病，

used to crawl around the house on all fours.

她總是四肢著地在房裡爬來爬去。

She had two sponges in her hand, and then she had two

她會綁二片海綿在手上，另外兩片綁在膝上。我媽媽是強力吸附劑（笑聲）

tied to her knees. My mother was completely absorbent. (Laughter)

她會綁二片海綿在手上，另外兩片綁在膝上。我媽媽是強力吸附劑(最佳學習者的雙關用法)（笑聲）

And she would crawl around behind me going,

而且她還會爬到我後面說，

"Who brings footprints into a building?!"

「這些腳印是誰帶進來的？」

So that was kind of a clue that things weren't right.

所以那就是事情不太對的蛛絲馬跡。

So before I start, I would like to thank

所以在我開始講題之前，我要謝謝製造樂命達、樂復得、憂得樂這些精神用藥的製藥商，

the makers of Lamotrigine, Sertraline, and Reboxetine,

所以在我開始講題之前，我要謝謝製造樂命達、樂復得、憂得樂這些精神用藥的製藥商，

because without those few simple chemicals, I would not be vertical today.

因為如果沒有這些簡單的化學物質，我今天不可能站在這裡。

So how did it start?

所以是怎麼開始的？

My mental illness -- well, I'm not even going to talk about my mental illness.

我的精神病 -- 嗯，我才不想談我的精神病。

What am I going to talk about? Okay.

那我要談什麼呢？好吧

I always dreamt that, when I had my final breakdown,

我總是想像著，我最後崩潰的原因，

it would be because I had a deep Kafkaesque

是因為我受到深奧的卡夫卡式存在主義啓示，

existentialist revelation,

是因為我受到深奧的卡夫卡式存在主義啓示，

or that maybe Cate Blanchett would play me and she would win an Oscar for it. (Laughter)

或是因為凱特·布蘭琪要扮演我，而她居然因此得到一座奧斯卡。（笑聲）

But that's not what happened. I had my breakdown

但實情並非如此。我崩潰的時候是在我女兒的運動會上。

during my daughter's sports day.

但實情並非如此。我崩潰的時候是在我女兒的運動會上。

There were all the parents sitting in a parking lot

所有的家長都坐在停車場吃從後車廂拿出來的食物 -- 只有英國人 -- 吃臘腸。他們好愛吃臘腸（笑聲）

eating food out of the back of their car -- only the English --

所有的家長都坐在停車場吃從後車廂拿出來的食物 -- 只有英國人 -- 吃臘腸。他們好愛吃臘腸（笑聲）

eating their sausages. They loved their sausages. (Laughter)

所有的家長都坐在停車場吃從後車廂拿出來的食物 -- 只有英國人 -- 吃臘腸。他們好愛吃臘腸（笑聲）

Lord and Lady Rigor Mortis were nibbling on the tarmac,

殭屍爵爺及其夫人正在柏油路上啃食，

and then the gun went off and all the girlies started running,

突然間槍聲大作，所有的女孩都開始向前跑，

and all the mummies went, "Run! Run Chlamydia! Run!" (Laughter)

所有的媽媽都叫著，「跑啊！快跑！克拉米底雅(Chlamydia)！快跑！」

"Run like the wind, Veruca! Run!"

「像風一樣跑啊！維路佳(Chlamydia)！快跑」〈克拉米底雅(Chlamydia)與維路佳(Chlamydia)為雙關語，皆為以姓名而取的病名〉

And all the girlies, girlies running, running, running,

這些小女孩跑啊！跑啊！跑，

everybody except for my daughter, who was just standing

每個人都在跑，除了我女兒，她只是傻傻地站在

at the starting line, just waving,

起跑線上揮手，

because she didn't know she was supposed to run.

因為她根本不知道她應該要跑。

So I took to my bed for about a month, and when I woke up

我因此躺在床上大概一個月，當我醒來，

I found I was institutionalized, and when I saw the other inmates,

我發現我已經被送入精神病房，而且當我看到其他病友，

I realized that I had found my people, my tribe. (Laughter)

我瞭解到我已經找到了跟我一樣的人，我的族類。（笑聲）

Because they became my only friends, they became my friends,

因為他們成為我唯一的朋友，他們變成我的朋友

because very few people that I knew -- Well, I wasn't

因為很少我認識的人 -- 嗯，我並沒有收到很多慰問卡片或花束。我是說，如果我是斷了一條腿

sent a lot of cards or flowers. I mean, if I had had a broken leg

因為很少我認識的人 -- 嗯，我並沒有收到很多慰問卡片或花束。我是說，如果我是斷了一條腿

or I was with child I would have been inundated,

或者我是懷了孩子，我應該會被花給淹沒吧，

but all I got was a couple phone calls telling me to perk up.

但是我只收到了幾通慰問電話，叫我趕快振作吧。

Perk up.

振作。

Because I didn't think of that. (Laughter)

你以為我不想振作嗎？（笑聲）

(Laughter) (Applause)

（笑聲）（掌聲）

Because, you know, the one thing, one thing that you get with this disease,

因為，你知道，當你得了這個病，有一件事，

this one comes with a package, is you get a real sense of shame,

這件事就隨之而來，就是你真的覺得好丟臉，

because your friends go, "Oh come on, show me the lump,

因為你的朋友說，「喔，來吧，讓我看看你的腫瘤在哪，

show me the x-rays," and of course you've got nothing to show,

讓我看Ｘ光圖。」當然你沒有東西可以給人家看，

so you're, like, really disgusted with yourself because you're thinking,

所以你會，怎麼說，很討厭自己，因為你所思所想都是，

"I'm not being carpet-bombed. I don't live in a township."

「我沒有被地毯式轟炸到，因為我不住在城裡。」（自責）

So you start to hear these abusive voices, but you don't hear one abusive voice,

所以你開始聽到這些辱罵的聲音，不只一種這樣的聲音

you hear about a thousand -- 100,000 abusive voices,

你聽到千千萬萬辱罵的聲音，

like if the Devil had Tourette's, that's what it would sound like.

就好像魔王得了杜瑞氏症，聽起來就像那樣。

But we all know in here, you know, there is no Devil,

但是我們都很清楚，你知道，這世界沒有魔王，

there are no voices in your head.

在你的腦袋裡並沒有那種聲音。

You know that when you have those abusive voices,

你知道嗎，當你腦裡產生了這種辱罵的聲音，

all those little neurons get together and in that little gap

這些小小的神經元全集中在一起，然後在這個小小的縫隙裡

you get a real toxic "I want to kill myself" kind of chemical,

你真的中了一種「我想要殺了我自己」的化學毒藥、

and if you have that over and over again on a loop tape,

而如果你不斷地重覆這樣的聲音，

you might have yourself depression.

你會讓自己陷入憂鬱。

Oh, and that's not even the tip of the iceberg.

喔，這還不只是冰山一角。

If you get a little baby, and you abuse it verbally,

如果你生了個小寶寶，然後你對他施以口語虐待，

its little brain sends out chemicals that are so destructive

他的小小的腦袋會送出化學物質，這種物質的毀滅程度會讓腦中分辨是非的部分停止生長，

that the little part of its brain that can tell good from bad just doesn't grow,

他的小小的腦袋會送出化學物質，這種物質的毀滅程度會讓腦中分辨是非的部分停止生長，

so you might have yourself a homegrown psychotic.

所以你很有可能在家裡培養神經病。

If a soldier sees his friend blown up, his brain goes into

如果一個士兵目睹同袍被炸，他的腦部會進入高警戒狀態，這會使他無法將這個經驗轉成語言說出來

such high alarm that he can't actually put the experience into words,

如果一個士兵目睹同袍被炸，他的腦部會進入高警戒狀態，這會使他無法將這個經驗轉成語言說出來

so he just feels the horror over and over again.

所以他就會一次又一次地經歷這種恐懼。

So here's my question. My question is, how come

所以我要問一個問題，我的問題是為什麼人們對精神受創的人總是充滿了臆測？

when people have mental damage, it's always an active imagination?

所以我要問一個問題，我的問題是為什麼人們對精神受創的人總是充滿了臆測？

How come every other organ in your body can get sick

為什麼你身體的每一個器官都可以生病

and you get sympathy, except the brain?

而且你還會因此得到慰問，就是腦子不可以生病？

I'd like to talk a little bit more about the brain,

我想再多談一下腦部，

because I know you like that here at TED,

因為我知道你們在TED論壇喜歡談這些，

so if you just give me a minute here, okay.

所以請給我一分鐘，好嗎？

Okay, let me just say, there's some good news.

好，這麼說好了，還是有好消息的。

There is some good news. First of all, let me say,

真的有好消息。第一，我要說，

we've come a long, long way.

我們已經走了一段很長很長的路。

We started off as a teeny, teeny little one-celled amoeba,

我們從這個小小小小的阿米巴原蟲，

tiny, just sticking onto a rock, and now, voila, the brain.

很小，只能貼在石頭上，到現在，瞧，一個腦袋，

Here we go. (Laughter)

就是這個。（笑聲）

This little baby has a lot of horsepower.

這個小寶貝馬力很大。

It comes completely conscious. It's got state-of-the-art lobes.

具有完全的意識，也有最先進的腦葉。

We've got the occipital lobe so we can actually see the world.

我們有這個枕葉，讓我們可以實際看到這個世界。

We got the temporal lobe so we can actually hear the world.

我們有顳葉，所以我們可以實際聽到這個世界。

Here we've got a little bit of long-term memory,

這裡我們可以保持長期記憶，

so, you know that night you want to forget, when you got really drunk? Bye-bye! Gone. (Laughter)

所以你還記得那個你很想忘記的夜晚，你醉死了？掰掰！消失了。（笑聲）

So actually, it's filled with 100 billion neurons

所以其實這裡充滿了一千億個神經元滋滋滋的以電子傳送資訊，

just zizzing away, electrically transmitting information,

所以其實這裡充滿了一千億個神經元滋滋滋的以電子傳送資訊，

zizzing, zizzing. I'm going to give you a little side view here.

滋滋，滋滋。我要讓大家看一下側視圖。

I don't know if you can get that here. (Laughter)

我不知道你能不了了解這張圖？(指黑色線不規則線條的部分)（笑聲）

So, zizzing away, and so — (Laughter) —

所以滋滋滋，所以 —（笑聲）—

And for every one — I know, I drew this myself. Thank you.

對每一個 —沒錯，我自己畫的。謝謝。

For every one single neuron, you can actually have

對每一個神經元，你其實可以產生

from 10,000 to 100,000 different connections

一萬到十萬種不同的連結

or dendrites or whatever you want to call it, and every time

或叫樹突，隨便你怎麼叫，每次你學了新東西或者有新的經驗，

you learn something, or you have an experience,

或叫樹突，隨便你怎麼叫，每次你學了新東西或者有新的經驗，

that bush grows, you know, that bush of information.

這棵「樹」就長大一點，你知道，就是儲存資料的「樹」

Can you imagine, every human being is carrying

你可以想像嗎？每一個人都配有這樣的裝備。芭黎絲．希爾頓(Paris Hilton)也不例外（笑聲）

that equipment, even Paris Hilton? (Laughter)

你可以想像嗎？每一個人都配有這樣的裝備。芭黎絲．希爾頓(Paris Hilton)也不例外（笑聲）

Go figure.

不信？你去找找看。

But I got a little bad news for you folks. I got some bad news.

但我要告訴你們一個壞消息，我的確有一些壞消息。

This isn't for the one in four. This is for the four in four.

這不是對那四人中的一個說的，這是給每一個人的。

We are not equipped for the 21st century.

我們的裝備跟不上21世紀。

Evolution did not prepare us for this. We just don't have the bandwidth,

演化並沒有讓我們準備好面對這個。我們就是沒有足夠的頻寬。

and for people who say, oh, they're having a nice day,

對這些說著「喔！他們有個美好的一天，他們很好」的人而言，他們比我們還要精神錯亂，

they're perfectly fine, they're more insane than the rest of us.

對這些說著「喔！他們有個美好的一天，他們很好」的人而言，他們比我們還要精神錯亂，

Because I'll show you where there might be a few glitches

因為我要告訴你們演化在哪裡出了差錯。好，容我解釋一下。

in evolution. Okay, let me just explain this to you.

因為我要告訴你們演化在哪裡出了差錯。好，容我解釋一下。

When we were ancient man — (Laughter) —

當我們還是古代人的時候（笑聲）

millions of years ago, and we suddenly felt threatened

幾百萬年前，當我們突然被掠食者威脅時，可以嗎？—（笑聲）—

by a predator, okay? — (Laughter) —

幾百萬年前，當我們突然被掠食者威脅時，可以嗎？—（笑聲）—

we would — Thank you. I drew these myself. (Laughter)

我們會 — 謝謝，這是我自己畫的（笑聲）

Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. (Applause)

非常感謝，謝謝。謝謝。（掌聲）

Thank you. Anyway, we would fill up with our own adrenaline

謝謝。總之，我們的身體會充滿腎上腺素

and our own cortisol, and then we'd kill or be killed,

及可體松，然後我們或殺了掠食者，或被牠殺或吃掉他，或他吃掉我們。然後突然間我們的荷爾蒙平復我們回到正常。對吧。

we'd eat or we'd be eaten, and then suddenly we'd de-fuel,

及可體松，然後我們或殺了掠食者，或被牠殺或吃掉他，或他吃掉我們。然後突然間我們的荷爾蒙平復我們回到正常。對吧。

and we'd go back to normal. Okay.

及可體松，然後我們或殺了掠食者，或被牠殺或吃掉他，或他吃掉我們。然後突然間我們的荷爾蒙平復我們回到正常。對吧。

So the problem is, nowadays, with modern man— (Laughter) —

所以問題是，現在，我們這些現代人（笑聲）

when we feel in danger, we still fill up with our own chemical

當我們覺得有危險時，體內仍然充滿著自己產生的化學物質

but because we can't kill traffic wardens — (Laughter) —

但是因為我們不能殺了交通警察（笑聲）

or eat estate agents, the fuel just stays in our body

或是吃了那個房地產仲介，這個燃料仍然充滿體內

over and over, so we're in a constant state of alarm,

不斷充滿，所以我們長期處在高警戒狀態，

a constant state. And here's another thing that happened.

總是如此高警戒。而且還有另外一件事。

About 150,000 years ago, when language came online,

大約十五萬年前，當語言出現的時候，

we started to put words to this constant emergency,

我們開始用語言來形容這種緊急事件，

so it wasn't just, "Oh my God, there's a saber-toothed tiger,"

所以這不僅僅是「噢！我的天，有一隻劍齒虎來了。」

which could be, it was suddenly, "Oh my God, I didn't send the email. Oh my God, my thighs are too fat.

而是突然變成「噢！我的天！我忘了送電郵。噢！我的天，我的大腿好肥！

Oh my God, everybody can see I'm stupid. I didn't get invited to the Christmas party!"

噢！我的天！大家都看到了我的蠢樣。我沒被邀請去那個聖誕派對！」

So you've got this nagging loop tape that goes

所以這種惱人的聲音一次又一次

over and over again that drives you insane, so,

的播放，把你搞瘋掉了，所以

you see what the problem is? What once made you safe

你知道問題在哪了嗎？本來要讓你安全的機制

now drives you insane.

現在把你搞瘋了。

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but somebody has to be.

很遺憾，我是宣佈這壞消息的人，總要有人說出來

Your pets are happier than you are. (Laughter)

你的寵物比你還快樂（笑聲）

(Applause)

（掌聲）

So kitty cat, meow, happy happy happy, human beings, screwed. (Laughter)

所以小貓咪，喵，幸福快樂，人類糟透了（笑聲）

Completely and utterly -- so, screwed.

完完全全糟到極點 -- 糟到最高點

But my point is, if we don't talk about this stuff,

但我的重點是，如果我們不把這件事說出來，

and we don't learn how to deal with our lives, it's not going

而且我們不去學習如何處理生活壓力，就不是

to be one in four. It's going to be four in four

每四人中有一人得到精神病，而會是四人中的四人

who are really, really going to get ill in the upstairs department.

真的都要得病，住在醫院的上層

And while we're at it, can we please stop the stigma?

而對我們這些已經在那裡的人，可不可以停止羞辱我們？

Thank you. (Applause)

謝謝（掌聲）

(Applause) Thank you.

（掌聲）謝謝