[ slam ]

*碰*

[ slam x2 ]

*碰 x2*

Okay, maybe third, but- psh.

好吧，應該算第三部，但

First ACTUAL video people subscribe for.

這是第一部觀眾要求我做的影片 (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[ d i n g ]

*叮*

[ EAR RAPE ]

如果你有追蹤我的推特，你一定知道

If you follow me on Twitter (What a weeb), you would know that

我最近跑到大學

I'm currently up at college,

去學動畫製作為了：

to study animation in order to:

一，提升我的動畫品質

One, make my animations way better, and

二，因為 YouTube 有一天會停止營運

Two, because YouTube won't last forever,

而且一旦 YouTube 停止營運時 (不可能發生)，我需要一個能夠賺錢的方法

And I need a way in which I can potentially get a job once YouTube dies

讓我不會在街道上流浪，變成遊民

so I won't be homeless living on the streets.

知名動畫公司偶爾會招募楊百翰大學的學生。誰猜得準呢？

Major studios hire from BYU from time to time. So, who knows?

也許我以後會在這產業中工作

Maybe I'll be working in the industry in the future!

而且我要學習如何使用正式的動畫軟體，而不是 Paint Tool SAI

I also need to actually learn how to use animation programs (Eeeh or Nervous face)

但誰會管那麼多啊？我是墨守成規的人。而且我不覺得這很丟臉！

instead of opting to Paint Tool SAI (Happy face :D)

我會在另一部影片談論動畫學校

But who has the time for that? I'm a creature of habit. I'm not ashamed!

基本上，我在這學期學到了兩件事

[ d i n g ]

第一

I'll talk about animation school in a different video,

*拍桌* (非常嚇人的)

but basically the two things I've learned this semester are,

幹嘛？

One,

別再畫動漫了

[ SLAM ]

不會有人想看的

What?

對

Stop drawing anime.

你可以放棄了

Yeah, ain't nobody gonna look at that

第二，所有課程都

Yeah,

教你如何把美術及動畫做好

You can just stop.

總結來說就是告訴你，「加油好嗎？」

And two, all the lectures about

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

how to do well, in art and animation

我的反應通常是

usually boil down to

*INTERNALSUFFERING*

"git good"

迷因.png

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

現在，切回正題！

To which I usually respond

公寓。因為我是外地生，我需要找個地方住

[ I N T E R N A L S U F F E R I N G ]

我很習慣跟其他人一起住了

meme.png

曾經

AAAAAAAAAAAND, We're back with the news!

我和三個姊妹一起睡同一間房

Apartments. Since I'm out of state I needed to find a new place to stay in.

只要室友都對我不錯

I'm pretty used to sharing rooms with other people,

就不會有任何問題

at one point in my life,

但，上次我住在楊百翰大學宿舍時，我遇到了很「惡毒」的室友

I slept in the same room with three other sisters. (W O A H)

我在臉書看到，他們還住在那裡，我不想再和她們住同寢了

As long as my roommates treat me nice,

所以，我要找個新房間住

we're not gonna have a problem.

但是

However, last time I was up at BYU, I had some very 'toxic' roommates.

有些公寓的設計是怪到我不曾看過的那種

I saw on Facebook, that they're still there this semester, and I don't want to live with them..(Good choice.)

以下是我看到的

sooo, I had to find a new place.

一些，噢，精華

BUT,

我找的第一棟似乎不錯，但到後來我發現，這裡沒有停車場

Some of the apartments have the STRANGEST layouts I've ever seen.

身為大學生，我要有個地方能夠停車

Here are some highlights,

所以，為什麼那裡沒有停車場呢？

of uh, what I saw.

因為這棟公寓

The first place seemed good until I realized, it had no parking. (WAIT WAT)

建在超大塊草皮中央

As a college student, I need a place to park my car.

他們聲稱這塊草皮是多麼的「珍貴」且「奢華」

So, why is it that they have no parking?

大學生會怎麼使用這塊草皮呢？

Because the apartments,

大學生會怎麼使用這塊草皮呢？

are on a huge grass lot. (Ooh.)

養寵物嗎？

Their claim to fame was how 'rich' and 'luxurious' their grass was. (B O I)

養寵物？不行

What the heck are college students supposed to use that grass for?

不，這裡不能養寵物

What the heck are college students supposed to use that grass for? *nom*

辦活動呢？

Pets?

活動？也不行

Pets?

這裡也不能辦任何活動。而且，這裡租金也太貴了

No, pets aren't allowed. (WHAT)

這麼貴的租金，應該也要有個停車場才合理

Events?

我不想為了停車，走一英里遠

Events?

下一棟公寓。我差點簽約了，但感謝聖母瑪利亞

No, you aren't allowed to host any events there. It was too expensive anyways,

我沒有直接簽下合約

If you're gonna charge that much, at least have some form of parking.

我在照片中，發現一個有點奇怪的地方

I was not willing to walk a mile just to park my car.

淋浴間，就在房間裡

The next apartment. I almost got, but THANK GOODNESS, I didn't.

就在你的床對面

Right before I signed the contract,

要走出淋浴間，就得踏到地毯上

I noticed something... a little strange in the images provided for the unit.

他們的想法應該是

The shower was... inside your room. (SAY WHAAAAT)

「我們可以把衣櫃改成淋浴間賺快錢。哪會出甚麼差錯呢？」

Like, across from your bed.

不好意思哦，你知道黴菌是怎麼產生的嗎？

In order to get outside of the shower, you had to walk on the carpet.

地毯上的水漬過了一陣子後會開始發臭，所以我馬上不考慮這棟了

It's like they thought,

你覺得衣櫃淋浴間已經夠糟糕了嗎？

"We CoUlD mAkE a qUiCk bUcK bY tUrNiNg tHiS cLoSeT iNtO a ShOwEr.

來看看這棟吧：

What could possibly go wrong?" *Bubsy reference*

另一棟公寓有真正的納尼亞傳送門

I'm sorry, do you not understand how mold works?

淋浴間就在牆中央

After a while, that wet spot on the carpet, WILL start to stink, so I had to get out of that contract IMMEDIATELY.

像上棟一樣，我可不想有塊發霉的地毯

You thought closet shower was bad?

還有，妳的室友可以看著妳... 洗澡？

Get a load of this:

如果是這樣，我大概不會想再洗澡了

The next apartment had a legit portal to NARNIA.

如果她有朋友在那暫住一晚，但我不知道呢？

The shower was in between the WALLS. (WHAT THE-)

或是妳們都想洗澡呢－

Same as before. I was not gonna be held responsible for a moldy carpet.

或是妳們都想洗澡呢－在

Also the fact that your roommate can watch you... shower?

或是妳們都想洗澡呢－在同一

Would probably make me never want to shower,

或是妳們都想洗澡呢－在同一時間？

What if she had friends over, and I didn't know?

或是妳們都想洗澡呢－在同一時間？*甩門*

Or what if you both wanted to take a shower-

這些公寓的問題

Or what if you both wanted to take a shower AT

就是淋浴間沒有事先設計好

Or what if you both wanted to take a shower AT THE SAME

如果淋浴間沒有事先規劃好

Or what if you both wanted to take a shower AT THE SAME TIME?

那這棟公寓還會有甚麼東西是拼湊的，只為了賺快錢呢？

Or what if you both wanted to take a shower AT THE SAME TIME? [ door slam ]

*短路後爆炸*

The problem with these apartments,

我要說的最後一個公寓

Is that, the shower, was an afterthought,

是最誇張的，某方面來說？

And if something like a shower is an afterthought,

這棟公寓內裝潢得非常豪華

Then what else in the apartment was scrambled together just to make a quick buck?

但卻暗藏陷阱

[ short-circuit intensifies ]

我數不清有多少人想要擺脫合約、趕快離開這地方了

The last apartment I'm gonna talk about,

每格停車格都非常擠

Is the most ridiculous of the bunch?

如果妳的車輪壓到線

This apartment looks all fancy and plush on the inside,

車子就會被拖吊

But secretly it's a hole of torture.

他們把所有小費用都藏在合約裡

I can't tell you how many people want SO badly to get out of the contracts from this place.

而當你要搬出公寓時

The parking spaces are put SO close together,

如果水槽裡有任何灰塵或是水漬

That if your car wheel is on ANYWHERE on the line,

就會被罰錢

Your car will be towed.

「哼

They hide all these little fees in the price once you get a contract,

「哼，不行，不夠乾淨」

And when you check out of the apartment,

「但我水槽刷了好幾小時耶」

If there is any speck of dust or water on your counter,

「好吧

You'll get fined.

「好吧，但妳有看到，痾...」

"hMMM,

「好吧，但妳有看到，痾...那個嗎？」

"hMMM, No, it's not cleaned enough"

「甚麼？」

"But I scrubbed the sink for HOURS."

「那滴水」

"Yeah,

「哼... 這不算乾淨」

"Yeah, but did you see, uh...."

我最後選的這間公寓非常棒

"Yeah, but did you see, uh... that?"

有好多空間可以放我的東西，儘管我有室友

"What?"

有正常的廁所

"The drop."

我的室友也很棒

"Yeah, uh... This is not clean."

但這裡的確有缺點，第一晚

The apartment I ended up getting has been pretty great.

我準備要躺到床上了，但突然

I have plenty of space for my equipment, despite having to share a room

*噢啊*

There are NORMAL bathrooms, (YEE)

*疼痛.mp3 載入中*

And my roommates are pretty chill.

*疼痛.mp3 載入完成*

It does have its flaws though. On the first night

我的小腿撞到了立著的水泥磚

I was just trying to get into bed when all of a sudden...

這東西超級尖銳。直接從我的小腿削下一塊肉

*instananeous p a i n*

於是我再把合約拿出來看了一遍，發現了一條規定，如果在房間內發現水泥磚

*pain.mp3 is currently loading*

每塊將罰款 45 元美金

*pain.mp3 loaded.*

「哼？這怪得很特別」

I slammed my shin, into a cinderblock holding it up.

「來看看這裡有多少塊，一、二、三，有八塊？！」

That thing was super sharp. It literally took a chunk of flesh out of my leg. (Insert Roblox OOF.mp3 here:)

很顯然的，上一位女房客沒有床板，所以她進到房間時

I took another look at my contract, and found that apparently, they will fine you

把水泥磚放到下面

$45 per cinderblock, if they find them in your room.

我跟管理員要了個床板，他們也給了我

"Huh? Well, that's oddly specific"

但這時，我懶到不想組裝了

"Now, let's see how many I have... one, two, thre- frickin' eight?!"

*床板把玻璃打破*

Apparently the girl before me didn't even have a bed frame when she got into the room

另一方面，我不想把這些水泥磚搬走

so she was the one that put them there.

這需要... 精力？

I asked the managers for a bed frame, and they sent me one.

下一個租到這間的女孩？抱歉囉，現在問題是妳的了

But at this point I'm too lazy to put it up.

希望他們不要因為這點罰我錢

[ glass shattering ]

這間公寓一切安好，直到某一晚

And besides, I don't want to have to move those cinder blocks,

學期末前，發生了這件事

That requires... effort?

*Shgurr 正在聽音樂*

Next girl that rents the place: Sorry, but now this is your problem.

*噢，Shgurr，妳也喜歡《我的英雄學院》？^o^*

Hopefully they don't fine me for it though.

室友：「痾，嘿！」

Everything was going good with the apartment, until one night,

Shgurr：「哼？甚麼事？」

Towards the end of the semester, this happened.

室友：「妳有聽到嗎？」

[shgurr listening to "Without Me"]

*漏水聲持續*

[MY HERO ACADEMIAAAA]

Shgurr：「噢，不」

Roommate: "Uhhh, heyyyy!"

*救救地球，停止水資源浪費*

Shgurr: "Hmm, what's up?"

Shgurr：「噢，不會吧！」

Roommate: "Do you hear that?"

Shgurr：「到底是哪裡漏水啊？」

[ PROCESSING... ]

室友：「怎麼辦？要怎麼讓它停漏？」

Shgurr: "Oh no."

Shgurr：「我也不知道耶，拉拉看其中一個拉桿？」

[ water splashing ]

*漏水停止*

Shgurr: "Aw, you've got to be kidding me!"

*兩位可以放心的吐氣了*

Shgurr: "Where's the leak even coming from?"

Shgurr：「妳看吧，已經慢慢停－」

Roommate: "What do we do? We've got to make it stop."

*死亡無法避免，水資源必須浪費*

Shgurr: " I- I don't know. Try one of the levers?"

所以我們的公寓有點淹水，但幸運的是，這不是我的錯

Shgurr: "Ah, now you see, it's slowing do-"

上面的住戶使用洗衣機

[ WATER EAR RAPE ]

但水管破掉了

So my apartment kind of flooded, but luckily it wasn't our fault.

所以就開始淹水了

The apartment above us had turned on their washing machine,

不知道為什麼，上面沒人聽到一大堆水正慢慢淹上來

And there was a problem with their pipes,

這棟公寓的水管系統

So it started to flood.

是在法規制定前就建好的

Somehow, no one heard the massive wave of water filling up their floor.

所以水電工來修理時，花了好一段時間才找到漏水處

The pipe system for this building was made

但，往好處想，漏水問題解決了

BEFORE there was a written 'code' to follow.

我對這棟公寓只有一個問題

So when the plumbers came over, they had a hard time navigating where the leak was,

而這個問題跟公寓本身無關

But, luckily it got taken care of.

我在晚上睡不太好，主要是因為半夜 2 點時

I only have one other problem