We have an all-military audience

看看觀眾席滿滿的軍人

- the best audience all year. - I know.

- 他們是最棒的觀眾！ - 沒錯！

[ Cheers and applause ]

(歡呼聲與拍手聲)

My dad, my dad was in the U.S. Navy.

我爸曾在美國海軍服役

- So, you know... - Is that right? Hey.

- 所以囉 - 真假？

[ Cheers and applause ] Me too.

(歡呼聲與拍手聲) 我爸也是耶

I have a long history with seaman, so... yeah.

我對海軍/精子知道可多的 (seaman 和 semen 發音一樣) ，所以. . .是的

[ Laughter ]

(大笑聲)

-Yeah. -Yeah, that's...

- 是的 - 那倒是

- Me too. - I don't want to know about...

- 我也很了解他 (它) 們 - 我可不想知道. . .

Well, I can clearly see you have something in your hair.

你頭髮很有型喔

[ Audience "Oohs" ]

(觀眾：哇！)

No, I meant my dad was in the Navy.

我是說我爸也在海軍

That's very bad

真是令人懷念

That's what I meant to say, he was...

我原本的意思是這樣，他. . .

It's always great to see you. You look fantastic.

見到妳真開心，妳看起來美極了！

-Oh, so do you. -Thank you. I appreciate that.

- 你也挺不賴的！ - 謝謝

What about me is so fantastic? No, I'm just kidding.

我哪裡還不賴？別認真，問好玩的

-Your hair. -Thank you very much.

- 你的頭髮 - 謝謝

I want to talk to you about...

我想說的是. . .

It's burger season now. And you...

現在是漢堡季，而妳. . .

-It's always burger season. -It is.

- 一直都是漢堡季 - 對啦

No, but you... [ Cheers and applause ]

但妳. . . (歡呼聲與拍手聲)

- Isn't it? - I'm ready to put it

- 是不是？ - 我準備好

into full gear. You want me to taste

接受挑戰，妳要我吃吃看

a taste test of which burger, right, is that what's going on?

吃出是哪種口味的漢堡，對吧？接下來要做的

Well, I have... I'm always disappointed.

其實，我非常失望

Sorry, guys and girls and ladies and transgender people

很抱歉，在座的先生、小姐跟跨性別朋友

in the audience tonight.

今晚在觀眾席的各位

But I... I'm always disappointed by the American burger

我實在不是美式漢堡的粉絲

because you go in and there's no beets,

它裡頭沒有甜菜

there's no caramelized onion, and there's no egg.

也沒有焦糖洋蔥，更沒有蛋

-What? -So, I have got

- 什麼？- 所以我為你帶來了

an Australian burger organized for you.

澳洲漢堡

But I also have a vegetarian burger.

我還帶來了一個蔬食漢堡

Ooh, wow, wow, wow. [ Cheers ]

哇，真令人期待 (歡呼聲)

Which, I swear to God, is the best goddamn burger...

我發誓，它真的是超級好吃

Superiority Burger — you will ever have in your life.

「超級漢堡」— 絕對是你這輩子吃過最棒的

All right. So how do you want to do this?

好，那妳要怎樣進行？

Well, I want to blindfold you, for many reasons.

我要蒙住你，原因可多呢

[ Laughter ]

(大笑聲)

[ Cheers and applause ] This is gonna be fun!

(歡呼聲與拍手聲) 超好玩的啦！

-Okay. -Okay.

- 好吧 - 來吧！

- All right, here we go. -That's not a blindfold.

- 開始吧 - 那不是眼罩

That's something you get in first class on American Airlines.

你坐美國航空的頭等艙就拿得到了

[ Laughter ]

(大笑聲)

I wouldn't know. I only fly coach.

我只搭經濟艙，沒看過這個東西

[ Light laughter ]

(輕聲笑)

-Is that good? -That's -- I don't know.

- 我看起來怎樣？棒嗎？- 嗯，怎麼說

-Does it look not good? -You feeling comfortable?

- 看起來不好嗎？- 您感覺舒服嗎？

-Feels like 50 shades of... -50 shades of burger.

- 好像什麼的五十道陰影. . . - 漢堡的五十道陰影！

-Yeah, burger. 50 shades of burger.

- 沒錯，漢堡的五十道陰影！

Are you ready for your burger? Bring on the burgers, boys.

準備好試吃漢堡了嗎？上菜吧小子

-All right, here they are. -Okay.

- 來了 - 好

All right.

好

We're gonna go with the traditional first

先吃傳統道地的澳洲漢堡

because I know you're a traditional kind of guy.

因為你滿傳統的

Why am I blindfolded? I know what a burger looks like.

我為什麼要被蒙住？我很清楚漢堡長什麼樣子啊

[ Laughter ]

(大笑聲)

It's like... so weird.

這 . . . 超怪的

-Cause it's sexy. -Yeah, okay. Got it.

- 這樣很性感 - 好，了解，多謝

So, this is the traditional Australian burger.

來，這是傳統澳洲漢堡

It's got egg. It's got caramelized onions.

有蛋、焦糖洋蔥

It's got lettuce. I should work at McDonald's.

還有生菜，我該在麥當勞工作的

All right. An Australian burger.

嗯嗯，道地澳洲漢堡

-It's only got one bun. -Okay.

- 它只有一片小圓麵包 - 好

Now what do I -- Now do I eat it?

那我要 . . . 現在吃它嗎？

That gets the egg going. [ Audience groans ]

蛋打下去蛋汁流出才對(觀眾驚訝嘆息聲)

I know. -Wait. What are they making

- 很訝異吧 - 等等，他們幹嘛

these noises for?

發出這聲音？

[ Laughter ]

(大笑聲)

I don't know what is gonna go down, man.

我真不知道接下來會怎樣

-I trust you. -Oh, my God, it is so big.

- 我相信妳 - 老天，它好大！

-I just... -Thank you.

- 我 . . . - 真開心妳愛

[ Cheers and applause ]

(歡呼聲與拍手聲)

Oh, my God, this is gonna be so much fun, Jimmy.

- 天啊，吉米，這超好玩的！

-I can't wait for you to eat it! -All right, here we go.

- 等不及看你吃了！- 來吧！

Right. [ Cheers ]

好的(歡呼聲)

- Now what do I do? - You open your mouth.

- 現在我要幹嘛？- 嘴巴張開啊

[ Laughter ]

(大笑聲)

Said the actress to the bishop.

很挑逗吧！(有些性暗示的意味)

-[ Laughs ] -Okay, okay, over here.

(笑聲) 來，漢堡在這邊

[ Cheers and applause ]

(鼓譟聲與拍手聲)

Do we have a napkin?

有紙巾嗎？

That is fantastic.

超好吃的

-That is not the vegetarian. - Nope.

剛那個不是蔬食漢堡

- Okay. So what did you get?

答對了，那你剛吃到什麼？

Did you get the caramelized onions?

有吃到焦糖洋蔥嗎？

There's a beet in there. It actually tasted real good.

裡頭有甜菜，吃起來超美味的

So, you forget beets in America, really important.

你看，美國漢堡就沒加甜菜，這可是美味關鍵！

-I never had that. -What else did you get?

- 我從未吃過這樣的漢堡 - 你還吃到那些食材？

-I got egg in there. Caramelized onions, right?

蛋、還有焦糖洋蔥，對吧？

Did you get, you know, GM-beef or did you get... oh, hang on.

有吃到基因改良的牛肉嗎？等等喔

What does GM beef mean?

GM 牛肉是什麼？

Oh [bleep] I'm so sorry.

啊(消音)，真抱歉

[ Laughter ]

(大笑聲)

What is going on?

發生什麼事？

You are gonna go home to your wife and she is going say,

你回到家老婆會問

"What is that on your pants?"

你褲子上沾到什麼東西？

[ Laughter ]

(大笑聲)

-That's happened before. -I am so sorry.

- 沒關係啦，之前也發生過 - 真的很抱歉

I am so sorry.

我真的很抱歉

Okay, so... -Did something just drip on me?

嗯，有東西滴到我身上嗎？

You need to cleanse it with a beer.

來杯啤酒清除味道吧

-Okay. -Okay?

- 好 - 好嗎?

Sure. [ Cheers and applause ]

當然好(歡呼聲與拍手聲)

Right?

我說的對吧？

You are the best guest ever, by the way.

妳是有史以來最好的來賓

[ Laughter ]

(大笑聲)

Okay, here's a straw. Don't wanna ruin your lipstick.

來吸管在這兒，口紅別掉囉

[ Cheers ]

(鼓譟聲)

Got a little egg. Okay, okay, now does this

嘴角有點蛋，好了擦掉了，現在

- cleanse your palate? - Yeah, that was great.

- 味覺清爽了嗎？ - 有，那啤酒很讚

- Now, this... - That's delicious beer.

- 現在要獻上的是 . . . - 啤酒好喝

...ladies and gentlemen and transgender members of the military,

在座的軍人先生、女士以及跨性別的朋友

this is the Superiority Burger.

這就是「超級漢堡」

- Okay. - Called the Superiority Burger

- 好喔 - 之所以叫「超級漢堡」

because it is superior.

就是其他漢堡沒得比

Brooks Headley, down in the Lower East Side.

紐約下東城名廚，布魯克斯 · 黑德利創造的美食

- Okay. - This is a burger.

- 了解 - 真的是漢堡喔

[ Cheering ]

(拍手鼓譟聲)

- I know. Confusing, huh?

疑惑對吧，我完全可以了解

- Yeah. [ Laughter ]

- 沒錯(大笑聲)

That's fantastic.

味道棒呆了

-This is the thinking man's burger.

絕對是男人眼中的真漢堡

- Wait. Does it have mustard on it, too?

這上面也加了芥末嗎？

- There's mustard. - Pickles?

- 對有芥末 - 酸黃瓜？

- There's pickles. - That's fantastic.

- 對有酸黃瓜 - 真的太好吃了

- I'm in. - And there is no meat

- 我愛上它了 - 驚訝的是它裡頭

in this burger. - No meat in that one?

沒加肉 - 就是那個沒有肉的蔬食漢堡嗎？

- What did you do to me? - Oh, you know.

- 妳又掉東西在我褲子上了嗎？ - 啊，就別說了

[ Laughter ]

(大笑聲)

- This is messy. - They were both delicious.

- 搞得滿手都是 - 兩種漢堡都好吃

I really like the Superiority Burger.

我真的喜愛「超級漢堡」

- This is no meat. Isn't that crazy?

這真是太瘋狂了，裡頭居然沒肉

-That's fantastic. -Brooks Headley developed this.

- 味道棒透了！ - 布魯克斯 · 黑德利發明的

Who out there would like to have a hamburger fed to them

誰想嚐一嚐？

by Academy Award-winning actress Cate Blanchett?

奧斯卡影后凱特 · 布蘭琪親餵的漢堡？

Let's break it up, please. They would love some, please.

把漢堡切成小塊給觀眾嚐嚐，他們會想來一口的

[ Cheers and applause ]

(歡呼聲與拍手聲)

♪♪

上菜音樂

-I want the Navy! -All right, you want Navy.

- 我要海軍！ - 好，就海軍

[ Cheers and applause ]

(歡呼聲與拍手聲)

You're doing it.

妳來上菜漢堡

[ Cheers and applause ]

(歡呼聲與拍手聲)

Okay. Do you want the meat or do you want the no-meat?

你想要有肉的，還是無肉的「超級漢堡」？

[ Audience shouting "Meat" ]

(觀眾大喊：「有肉的」)

Is this what it's like to be on a boat as a woman?

女人在船上都是這樣嗎？

[ Cheers and applause ] It is, it is.

(歡呼聲與拍手聲) 對啊，對啊

-Hold that, guys. -All right, here we go.

- 男士們先等等 - 來上菜吧

You can get your turn.

等下就輪到你們了

But don't get it on the whites, here.

但別弄髒白色的制服喔

You got to be very -- -Oh, [ bleep ]

你一定要很 . . . (消音)

Oh [bleep] -I'm so sorry. - It's all right. You do this. I'll do this.

(消音) - 我真抱歉 - 沒事啦，你來餵，我讓食物不掉到制服上

[ Laughter ]

(大笑聲)

Go for it. You wanna be blindfolded, too?

來吃吧，你也想被蒙住嗎？

-No, you want Superiority. -Okay.

- 妳想要「超級漢堡」- 好喔

-Generally, as a woman, we have superiority.

姊妹們，我們有的是超級優勢！

[ Cheers and applause ]

(歡呼聲與拍手聲)

Okay, go for it.

來，大口吃吧！

Yes!

這就對了！

What did you think? That's fantastic right there.

味道如何？就說超好吃的啦

And then, you want to try the other one?

妳想吃吃看另一種漢堡嗎？

-Oh, hang on. -Oh, yeah. Okay.

- 等等，換那位 - 好啊，來

Okay, right... -We're going to go --

- 這邊 - 獻上 . . .

This is the Aussie burger. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

澳洲漢堡，真抱歉這看起來

This is the sloppy Joe.

像邋遢喬三明治

[ Cheers and applause ]

(歡呼聲與拍手聲)

How was that? That's good, right?

怎樣，不錯吃吧？

-Here, pass it around. -Pass it around.

- 遞過去給大家嚐嚐 - 拿過去

Fantastic, right? You're gonna wipe it on my suit.

很好玩，對吧？看妳要把手往我的西裝上擦

Wiping it on my suit.

往我的西裝上擦

You are the best guest ever.

妳是最讚的來賓

You're the first person to ever bring...

第一個來上節目帶 (美食) 的人

No, my dad was in the Navy, right?

我爸在海軍待過，對吧？

-He was... -Look at them!

- 他 . . . - 看看那兩個活寶！

[ Laughter ]

(大笑聲)

[ Cheers and applause ]

(歡呼聲與拍手聲)

- You have a beer, too. -I know, I do have a beer.

- 妳也有杯啤酒 - 對啊

- Okay. - Wanna have a chugging contest?

- 好 - 要來個競酒比賽嗎？

[ Cheers and applause ]

(歡呼聲與拍手聲)

♪♪

鼓動音樂

[ Audience chanting "Chug" ]

(觀眾反覆大喊：「比！比！比！」)

Are you doing it?

妳要比嗎？

[ Audience chanting "Chug" ]

(觀眾反覆大喊：「比！」)

[ Cheers and applause ]

(歡呼聲與拍手聲)

[ Audience booing ]

(觀眾噓聲)

You... Oh, for God's sake, shut up.

- 你 . . . 拜託！可不可以閉嘴！

[ Laughter ]

(大笑聲)

You are gonna chug like a woman.

我保證你競酒跟女生一樣

[ Audience shouts ]

(觀眾大叫)

-What? -With a straw.

- 什麼？ - 用吸管競酒

We wear lipstick. We're not gonna get it all over

我們有擦口紅，才不會讓口紅印弄得杯子都是

the glass. Okay, hang on.

好的，等等

[ Audience shouting ]

(觀眾大喊)

-Don't yell. -Hang on, no, hang on.

- 別大吼 - 等一下

No, you got more than me. Okay.

你的是比較大杯的才對

1, 2, 3.

一、二、三

[ Drum roll ]

(鼓聲咚咚響)

[ Cheers and applause ]

(歡呼聲與拍手聲)

♪♪

勝利音樂

Oh, my God.

我的天啊

- Dude, you're good! - Oh.

- 妳超會喝！- 噢

Oh, my gosh.

我的老天

- Are you okay? -Ugh!

- 你還好嗎？ - 噢

[ Coughs ]

(咳嗽聲)

-I hate beer. -Oh, my God.

-我討厭死啤酒了 - 天啊

You are a champ.

你真的是最棒的

-No, I'm just competitive. -Oh, my gosh.

- 才不，我只是好勝心強 - 我的天啊

-That is fantastic. -That is disgusting.

-剛剛超好玩的 - 才怪，我快噁心死了

That really is unbelievable. Man, you're unbelievable.

剛剛真是驚人，妳真是太厲害了

What kind of beer was that?

那是哪種啤酒啊？

Must be some Australian thing, right?

一定是澳洲啤酒，不是嗎？

Was it? No.

是嗎？不對

An Australian-themed beer. [ Indistinct shouting ]

澳洲主題的啤酒 (遠處傳來觀眾的聲音)

-Yeah. -Victoria? No.

- 維多利亞 (澳洲啤酒)？不是

Are there Australian servicemen, women,

這邊有來自澳洲的軍人先生、女士

and transgender people out there?

和跨性別朋友嗎？

[ Laughter ]

(大笑聲)

Hi, y'all, y'all.

嗨嗨，大夥好

Oh, there's a piece of egg down here, as well.

這邊也掉了一小塊蛋

-I don't... Yeah, I don't want to know about it.

我不想知道

-You are a legend. -Can I lie down?

- 妳是傳奇 - 我可以躺下嗎？

-Let's talk about "Ocean's 8." It's you, it's this giant cast.

來談談「瞞天過海：八面玲瓏」吧，有一票像妳這種超大卡司的演員

There's a heist.

集體搶劫的情節

There's jewelry involved, the Met Gala.

跟珠寶、大都會博物館晚宴有關

[ Slurring ] I don't understand a word you're saying.

(含糊地說) 不懂你在講什麼，一個字都聽不懂

Well... [ Laughter ]

哎呀 (大笑聲)

There's jewelry, and there's a movie,

對，有閃亮亮的珠寶，有部電影. . .

and they steal stuff, and it's really, I love you.

她們偷東西，真的是 . . . 愛你啦

[ Laughter ]

(大笑聲)

[ Mock crying ] I'm just tired.

(假哭) 我只是累了

I'm having a moment right now! -I know, I love you!

- 內心很多感觸 - 對對，愛你喔！