RHPC: Hi!

嗨！

RHPC: Hi!

什麼啊...

Ryan: The hell...

快點開始吧

Start this over real quick

嗨各位！

Hey guys!

現在我相信你已經聽說過這個所有的話題和爭議性了

So by now I'm sure you've already heard about all the drama and controversy

就是有關 Steve Harvey 開了亞洲人玩笑這件事

Around, you know, Steve Harvey, and making the jokes about Asian men

基本上他是在他的節目中開了亞洲男人的玩笑

Basically he made some jokes on his show about asian men and

然後說他們是如何地不具吸引力

how they are not attractive.

這就是他的樣子

And this is what it looked like

你喜歡亞洲男人嗎？不！

Do you like asian men, no

謝謝！

Thank you

然後顯然有很多話題伴隨而來

And obviously there was a lot of drama that followed

這裡有兩種不同立場的人

there was two different sides of people

有些是...你知道的，攻擊 Steve Harvey ，然後說他講這個笑話是種族歧視

either, you know, attacking Steve Harvey, saying he's racist for making those jokes.

另一方人則是擁護他，說他是喜劇演員

Or people actually defending him and saying, you know, he's a comedian

然後說亞洲人不應該把這個笑話看得太認真

and Asians need to learn to just take a joke.

即使我就是亞洲人，我應該要有偏見的...

And even though I'm Asian and I should

當我真正想過這個問題的時候

be biased, when I really thought about it,

我本身沒有被他說的話給冒犯到

I wasn't personally offended by what he said

我沒有說他做的是對的

I'm not saying what he said was

就我個人而言

right, I'm just saying for me personally

我不會被他說的話給冒犯到

I-I don't get offended by things like that

我都聽到耳朵長繭了

I've been hearing it my whole life!

我非常明白亞洲人為何會覺得被冒犯以及心情阿雜

Obviously I can see why Asians were

我得承認我也覺得很阿雜

offended and they are upset about this

但是完全是因為其他的理由

and I have to admit, I was upset too, but

我覺得阿雜其實是因為他說亞洲男人很沒有吸引力

probably for a completely different reason.

我阿雜只有兩個理由

I wasn't upset by the fact that

首先，當涉及到種族的笑話時，存在著雙重標準

he was saying Asian men are unattractive.

以現在來說，只要講像這種亞洲人的笑話都覺得沒什麼

I was upset for just two reasons.

你能想像如果我們切換角色

First of all, the double standard that exists when it

有一個亞洲人開 Steve Harvey 的玩笑

comes to making racist jokes.

就笑他開亞洲人玩笑那樣在電視台裡開黑人玩笑

Like in our society, it's almost OK to make jokes about

「不好意思，請問你喜歡黑人嗎？」

Asians like this. I mean could you imagine

「不！謝謝！」

if we switch the roles and we have an

對，我敢保證這個亞洲人一生事業都玩完了

Asian man playing Steve Harvey and said

而且他可能會受到死亡的威脅

the things that he said but about black

他還可能無法受僱於其他工作

people on national television?

那時各方群體會更加暴怒

"Excuse me do you like black men?"

跟 Steve Harvey 開的這個玩笑比起來...

"No. Thank you"

但因為這個是有關亞洲人的

*People laughing*

所以就沒什麼大不了了

Yeah. I'm pretty sure that Asian guy's career would be over

因為...你知道這只是個玩笑

and he'd probably be getting death threats

亞洲人就像社會的沙袋一樣

he'd probably not be able to book another job

我可以理解，如果這是第一次發生在主流媒體上

there would be significantly more outrage

但現實的情況是，這些事情總是發生在亞洲人身上

than there was about this Steve Harvey thing

你記得林來瘋時期，ESPN 怎麼寫林書豪的嗎？

but since this joke was about Asians

那個文章的標題是寫「穿盔甲的東方人」(註：Chink In The Armor，美國俚語，用來比喻某人身上的弱點)，其中的 Chink 有意指「中國佬」的貶低意思)

it's not as big of a deal

顯然只是因為林書豪是東方人的關係？

Because, you know it's just a joke.

對當時確實集體群方為此暴怒，我不否認

I mean Asians are like the punchbags of society.

但仍然有人說，這是一個笑話而已

I could understand if this was, like, the first time

但我的觀點是，任何人都會對於那個文章標題都覺得沒什麼大不了的

that this ever happened in mainstream media

當你知道這篇「並不是喜劇」的運動相關文章

But let's be real, these kinds of things happen to Asians all the time

這實在有點荒謬

I mean, remember during Linsanity and ESPN wrote about Jeremy Lin

Chink 這個詞就像是亞洲版的尼哥 (註：尼哥就是歧視黑人的那個詞)

and they titled the article "A Chink In The Armor"?

難道你覺得任何人都敢發表把 Chink 這個字改成尼哥的文章？

Obviously making reference to the fact that Jeremy is Asian?

當然不敢啊！因為社會和主流媒體告訴我們這「黑人笑話」不可行

and yes there was a lot of outrage for that

但是對亞洲人就可以

I'm not denying that

Steve Harvey 是喜劇演員，而且這是他的職業

still, again, there was still people defending the fact that it was a joke.

事實上，如果我要列出我最喜歡的黑人喜劇演員，從最喜歡到最不喜歡，Steve Harvey 不會是最後一個

But my point is the fact that anybody would

我可能從最上面開始列表，像是 David Chappelle

actually think it's okay to title an article "A Chink In the Armor,"

Eddie Murphy, Wayne Brady, Kevin Hart, Chris Rock, Chris Tucker, Donald Glover, Brady Mack,

when you know it's a non-communal sports related article.

Martin Lawrence, Crazy Morgan, Wanda Sykes, The entire Waynes Family,

Is kind of ridiculous

還有製作七喜的那傢伙 Orlando Jones (註：早期的七喜汽水廣告)

I mean the word 'chink' is basically like the 'N' word for Asians

還有那個製作 「抓到他們了」短片的傢伙

You think anybody would dare to publish the article

Bill Cosby, Steve Harvey,

if they switched out the word 'chink' with the 'N' word?

然後是 Bill Cosby

Of course not, because society and mainstream media

在被指控強姦之後...

has taught us that it's not okay to make black jokes

看吧！

but it is okay to make Asian jokes.

Steve 不是最後一個... (明明就是倒數第二)

And Steve Harvey is a comedian, it's his job.

哈！抓到他們了！

In fact, if I had to list my favorite black comedians, you know from greatest to worst, Steve Harvey wouldn't be the last one.

說真的，那傢伙滿有趣的

You know, I'd probably start, the top of the list, with like David Chappelle,

當你有個笑話覺得超讚的同時，像這樣：

Eddie Murphy, Wayne Brady, Kevin Hart, Chris Rock, Chris Tucker, Donald Glover, Brady Mack,

「你喜歡亞洲男人？我連中國菜都不喜歡！」

Martin Lawrence, Crazy Morgan, Wanda Sykes, The entire Waynes Family,

「我不會去吃我不會唸的菜。」

The Make 7 up yours guy Orlando Jones,

因為中國菜名通常就是其他的語言啊！

The guy that made the "got eem" vine,

對吧？

Bill Cosby, Steve Harvey,

所以有時候他們很難去發那個音

and then Bill Cosby,

所以這到底是...哈哈哈哈....Steve 在說什麼啊...

after the rape allegations.

這笑話不錯！

So see?

最好笑的部份是，當一個喜劇演員

Steve is still not at the bottom.

他講的笑話他自己不會笑

HA! GOT EEM!!

他講的時候還沒什麼活力耶？！

I mean, let's be real, the guy's funny.

這笑話像是他曾經講過最有趣的，或者聽過最有趣的

When you got jokes that are straight fire

或也許他根本不是在講笑話

like this one:

中國菜是很難發音沒錯

Steve Harvey: "You like asian men? I don't even like chinese food."

而且它實際上讓我很好奇，我開始思考...

*ruckus laughter*

如果像 Steve Harvey 這樣的人在中國餐廳吃午餐會是什麼樣子？

"I don't eat what I can't pronounce."

哈哈哈哈哈哈，我在這裡什麼都不能吃

*more ruckus laughter*

我一個字都不會講

*cracks himself up*

這...這上面寫什麼...？慶搶林龍？

*Ryan cracks himself up* 'Cause Chinese food is often in another language!

它寫的是「春捲」...

See?

看這個看這個... 水尚砰？ 哈哈哈哈哈

So sometimes, they pronounce things differently

糖醋豬肉... 那是 4 個英語單字

and it-what seems like *laugh break* And what's Steve saying... *more laughing*

這...這是啥...

It's a good joke.

係豪米英？ 係豪麵？

The funniest part to me, is that, you know, as a comedian

是炒麵...

he didn't just laugh at his own joke.

當譜拎！

He was dying from his own joke.

水餃

I mean, it looked like it was the funniest joke he's ever told, or heard!

北京烤鴨！

Then again, maybe he wasn't even making a joke.

等等，你終於說對了一個....

I mean, chinese food IS hard to pronounce.

不...你在飲料的菜單上...那個是百事可樂

And it actually made me kind of curious and I- k- I started thinking, like

我在這一整個國家都沒辦法吃東西

What would it be like to have someone like Steve Harvey, you know, at, like, a chinese restaurant, for lunch?

如果你連這個你都不發音，那麼這個世上已經沒有你可以吃的東西了

Steve Harvey: *laughing* I ca- I can't eat anything here

這個世上？ 還比較像整個'亞軍'！

I can't pronounce one thing here.

蛤？

W...w...what does this say? "Ching chong ling long"

是啊，在這個星球上我不吃任何東西，更不用說其他星球在這整個'亞軍'裡

Ryan: It just says spring rolls

你是想說「宇宙」嗎？

Steve Harvey: Look at this one- look at this one: swing song pong! *laughing*

噢噢對，我的錯！我常常搞混‘亞軍’跟‘宇宙’

Ryan: Sweet and sour pork! it's literally 4 English words

所以我猜我們不吃午餐了，是嗎？

Steve Harvey: What is it- wha- what is it?

嘿！要不我們去‘咖法客’？

Sing hao beng en? sing hao beng en? *laughing*

嗯....？什麼？

Ryan: It's Chao Mein...

對啊！‘咖法客’，超好念的！所以如果你要的話我們可以去吃‘咖法客’！

Steve harvey: dao plum-pling! Ryan: dumplings.

你現在是在罵我嗎？

Steve Harvey: pe king roasted duck!

不！那是餐廳名字！

Ryan: wait, you might've actually said that one correctly, for-

就是那個‘咖法客’，他們有像那些肉汁、薯泥、玉米...

nope. you're on the drink menu. That says Pepsi.

你知道就是那個有個很大的紅白相間桶子，裡面有炸雞，桶子上還有 Colonel Bernie 上校的圖片

Steve: I can't eat one thing from this entire country

你是說...肯德基？(註：發音‘咖法客’是直接把 KFC 唸成一個單字)

Ryan: If you can't even pronounce those, there's nothing you can eat in this entire world!

哇！ 我無法相信你剛才說的...

Steve: Entire world? More like entire runnerup!

等等...什麼？ 你剛剛就說那個...

Ryan: What?

只是因為我是黑人，你就以為我喜歡肯德基？你種族歧視！

Steve Harvey: Yeah, I can't eat anything from this planet let alone any other planet in this entire runnerup!

這個有點醜化了 Steve Harvey 我知道

Ryan: are you trying to say 'universe'?

我道歉，我知道這個結局也不是一個好笑話

Steve: Oho ho yeah! My bad, I always mix universe and runnerup!

所以我也為這個道歉！

Soo, I guess we, just won't eat lunch, then huh?

看吧，如果我講很爛的笑話我會承認

Steve: Hey, how 'bout we just go to kuhfuk?

現在我要說，Steve 已經道歉了

Ryan: umm, what?

這就是一個典型的公眾道歉，當他們搞砸時他們會這樣道歉

Steve: Yeah, kuhfuk! It's easy to pronounce so we can just go eat at kuhfuk, if you want.

但他說的並不是字面上的道歉，因為你知道...

Ryan: Are you swearing at me, right now?

當一開始觀眾開始反彈的時候，他說：

Steve Harvey: No, the restaurant.

「他們有點沒理由的在網路上打擾我，但是...

You know kuhfuk. They have, like those gravy, mashed potatoes, corn,

你知道的，這就是人生啊！」

you know those big ol' bucket of uh, uh chick fried chicken, with the white and red stripes and that picture of that old guy Colonel Bernie Sanders on it.

離 Steve Harvey 遠一點！

You mean, KFC?

但無論如何，總之！

Steve: Wow. I cannot believe you just said that.

Steve Harvey 講了一個很掉漆、無趣又過分的笑話

Ryan: Wait, what? You're the one that sa-

亞洲人已經聽到他們的人生了

Steve Harvey: Just because I'm black you just assume I like KFC? You racist!

或者，他實際上相信他自己說的話，「女人不被亞洲男性吸引」

That was a horrible Steve Harvey impression, I know

不管是哪個，我們都知道這只是一個很爛又無趣的笑話

I apologize, and I know that wasn't a good joke to end on either.

因為我們都知道他其實沒有歧視，我意思是，

So, I apologize for that, too.

他才剛剛和美國總統會過面

See, but at least I admit when I have bad jokes.

所以他怎麼會歧視呢？

*Crowd and Ryan laugh*

但把所有的笑話放在一邊，我決定實際來做個統計

Now I should also say that Steve actually did apologize already.

去了解 Steve 到底在說什麼

It was a typical PR apology that every celebrity does when they mess up.

也許真的女人不喜歡亞洲男人

And you know he doesn't really mean it because you know when

所以我做的事就是網路上那些合情合理的人會做的事

The backlash first started coming, he literally said this:

走，我們去街訪一下！

"They're kinda beating me up on the internet right now for no reason, but"

不好意思小姐，我可以問你幾個問題嗎？只要耽誤你五分鐘

"Ya know, that's life, ain't it?"

就是想問一些簡單的問題而已

Leave Steve Harvey Alone!

第一個問題

But anyway, overall

這兩個人給你選，你覺得誰有吸引力？ A 還是 B？

Either Steve Harvey was making a lame, tasteless, overused joke

我可能選 B

that Asians have been hearing all their lives.

A 還是 B？

Or, he actually meant what he said and he really does believe that, you know, women aren't attracted to Asian males

我應該會選 B

It's one or the other, and we all can agree that it was just a bad, tasteless joke.

我會選 B

Because, we know he's not a racist. I mean

搞什麼？我不是 Gay 耶！

he just had a meeting with the president of the United States

在吸引力方面，你喜歡誰？

So how can he be racist?

我喜歡看陰屍路，所以...

But all jokes aside, I decided to actually do my own research and

B？

uh, see if you know maybe Steve was on to something. Maybe women don't

對！B！

like Asian men.

這兩個給你選，你會想跟誰約會？A 還是B？

So what I did is what any logical person on the internet would do:

B

Taking it to the streets.

我還是會選 B

Oh! Excuse me miss could I ask you a few questions? I'll only take five minutes.

當然是 B 啊！我喜歡 John Cho

Gonna ask you a few simple questions

真的假的...我意思是...B 吧？！

Alright first question

你認為哪一個更性感？A 還是 B？

If you had to pick between these two individuals who would you consider to be more attractive? A or B?

嗯...B！

Probably B

我會選 B

A or B?

當然是 B 啊！

I'm gonna have to go with B.

我不知道耶兄弟...我猜 B 吧！

I would go with B.

如果你現在在街上隨機碰到這兩個人中的一個，你最想親誰？

What the heck? I'm not gay man.

嗯...

In terms of attractiveness, like who would you?

A

I like the Walking Dead so-

A

B?

當然是 A 啊！

B, yeah.

我會選 A 吧！

If you had one of these two individuals, who would you go on a date with, A or B?

你確定？

B

對...絕對是 A

I'm gonna have to go with B again.

所以結果還是不確定的， 也許之後會再街訪一次

Of course B, I love John Cho!

這些愚蠢的女生

Are you serious? I mean, I guess B?

TEEHEE!

Which one would you consider to be sexier? A or B?

Um...B?

I'd go with B.

Definitely B.

Dude I don't know bro, B I guess?

If you were to come across one of these next two people randomly on the street right now, who are you most likely to kiss?

Um...

A

A

A for sure!

I'm gonna have to go with A.

Are you sure?

Yeah... That's a definite A.

So yeah the findings were inconclusive. Probably just have to try again another time

*Ryan whispers* Stupid girls...

TEEHEE!