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  • I'm about to exposed everything you won't admit.

    接下來我要說的話,你絕對不會承認。

  • What up everyone is your girl Superwoman, and it's a regular day, alright.

    大家好我是 Superwoman!今天又是普通的一天。

  • So you're having that relationship talk with one of your friends.

    你又在跟你朋友討論關於戀愛的話題。

  • Honestly, I can't even imagine being in a relationship right now.

    老實說,我沒辦法想像現在這個時候談戀愛。

  • Totally.

    對啊!

  • It's like I'm too independent, you know?

    我太獨立了,你懂嗎?

  • For sure!

    完全!

  • Also, I don't need to seek validation from someone else's love.

    而且我才不需要靠別人的愛來得到認可。

  • You don't need no validation.

    你根本不需要被認可啊。

  • I'm just too like woke as a person, you know?

    我覺得自己天生就適合單身,你知道嗎?

  • Like I'm drinking a kale smoothie right now.

    你看我現在在喝羽衣甘藍奶昔。

  • This is gluten-free, cruelty-free, a recyclable cup.

    這既無麩質、無動物實驗,還用環保材質的杯子。

  • This company, they employ abandoned puppies, yeah.

    這間公司甚至雇用流浪狗狗當員工。

  • So I can't do all of this plus be in a relationship, it's too much work.

    這些對我來說已經夠了,如果又談戀愛的話,實在吃不消。

  • And then she hits you with.

    然後你朋友跟你說。

  • I heard Kenny has a crush on you.

    聽說 Kenny 喜歡妳。

  • What?

    什麼?

  • Yeah, Kenny told me he has a crush on you.

    對啊,Kenny 說他喜歡妳。

  • Kenny has a crush on you.

    Kenny 喜歡妳。

  • Kenny has a crush on you.

    Kenny 喜歡妳。

  • Kenny has a crush on you.

    Kenny 喜歡妳。

  • Kenny has a crush on you.

    Kenny 喜歡妳。

  • Kenny has a crush on you.

    Kenny 喜歡妳。

  • Kenny has a crush on you.

    Kenny 喜歡妳。

  • Kenny has a crush on you.

    Kenny 喜歡妳。

  • - (honks) Hurry the hell up. - Someone has a crush on me.

    - (按喇叭) 走快一點啦!- 有人喜歡我喔!

  • Ho, call me a parking ticket 'cause I just got validated.

    叫我停車費,因為我剛被繳囉!(註:validated 此處有「被認可」的詞義雙關)

  • When you find out someone has a crush on you, on the outside you might act like you're un-phased but on the inside you're like, yo, I'm the most bomb person on the planet.

    當你發現有人喜歡你的時候,表面上你看起來完全無感,但其實你的內心就像,噢!我是世界上最棒的人!

  • And for some reason it makes you want to be even hotter.

    而不知為何,你會想要變得更辣、更性感。

  • Like let me put in a little bit of extra effort and see who else I can snatch on these streets.

    讓我來多用點小心機看看路上還有誰會被我煞到。

  • Let me catch these crushes like Pokemon.

    就像抓寶可夢一樣抓住他們的心。

  • Just absolutely feeling myself.

    完全陷入自戀。

  • Feeling myself all on the 'gram.

    在 Instagram 上自戀。

  • Feeling myself while staying hydrated.

    喝水時自戀。

  • Feeling myself in my bed.

    在床上自戀。

  • Lilly?

    Lilly?

  • Get out, I'm busy!

    出去啦!我在忙!

  • And all of this leads to phase one of someone having a crush on you: The Lead On.

    而這些會導致你發現有人喜歡你之後的第一階段:優越感。

  • Now I hate to say it, when someone has a crush on you, shut-up, shut-up you're gonna deny this, shut you face!

    我很不想承認,但當有人喜歡自己的時候,閉嘴,閉嘴,我知道你要否認,但不要吵。

  • When someone has a crush on you, whether you like them back or not, you are going to lead them on.

    當有人喜歡你的時候,不管你喜不喜歡對方,你都會有種優越感。

  • Why? Because it's human nature.

    為什麼?因為這就是人的天性。

  • Why for real? 'Cause it makes you feel powerful.

    為什麼?因為它讓你覺得自己很厲害。

  • You go hit them with the mild interactions like, yo, I'ma drop this pencil in front of you,

    你用再平常不過的小小互動,像是,噢我不小心在你面前掉了一枝鉛筆。

  • I'ma bend over, I'ma allow you to look at this booty okay.

    我要彎下腰,允許你看看我的翹臀。

  • Consider it a charitable donation.

    好像我在做慈善一樣。

  • Wait, don't charities only take non-damaged goods?

    等等,做慈善不應該讓人傷眼吧?

  • Shut the eff up, zoomed in Lilly.

    閉嘴,比較近的 Lilly。

  • It's like reverse flirting like you have a crush on me, okay, cool, yeah.

    就像是反向的撩妹,你喜歡我,很好,很酷。

  • Let me talk to you here and there, you know, make your day.

    那我就來撩撩你,跟你說說話?你知道的,讓你覺得很快樂。

  • Um, hey, I'm totally lost, can you help me?

    呃,嘿!我完全聽不懂,你可以教教我嗎?

  • But I wasn't lost, I just enjoy the power of making someone nervous.

    其實我聽得懂,我只是在享受讓對方手足無措的快感。

  • Uh, it's a factorial so you just, multiply each one by n.

    呃,這要用階乘去算,所以妳就把全部都乘以 n。

  • Wrong. Is that summation?

    最好是。是要算出總和嗎?

  • Yeah, they're the same thing.

    對啊,它們是一樣的東西。

  • Wrong, he was so wrong.

    才怪,他根本不會。

  • Maybe he only had skills in picking beautiful crushes.

    他大概除了眼光好,其他都很爛。

  • This leads to phase two, delusions.

    而這又進入第二階段:幻想。

  • When someone has a crush on you, you start to read into everything they do and you conclude like, yo, this person's life revolves around me, psh, obviously.

    當有人喜歡你時,你會開始解讀他們所有舉動,然後得到一個結論:這個人的生活完全繞著我轉,呿,很明顯。。

  • And you throw them a pity party every opportunity you have because damn it must be so hard to have a crush on someone as fine as you.

    然後你會不斷同情他們,因為喜歡上像自己這麼棒的人實在是太辛苦了。

  • Aww, look at him over there just crushing on me so hard.

    噢,看看他有多喜歡我。

  • He's literally just drinking juice.

    他只是在喝果汁。

  • Duh, the juice is a metaphor for how he's bottling up his emotions for me.

    拜託,那果汁就是在暗示他在壓抑對我的情感。

  • I think he might just be thirsty.

    我覺得他可能只是口渴。

  • Exactly, he's so thirsty, he's practically shaking.

    是啊,他很渴望我,他渴望到顫抖了。

  • He's just shaking his juice.

    他只是在搖果汁。

  • You know, when he talks to me, he chokes.

    你知道嗎?他跟我說話甚至會噎到。

  • (coughs)

    (咳嗽)

  • Oh my god, I think he's actually choking.

    天啊,我覺得他真的噎到了。

  • (coughs)

    (咳嗽)

  • He literally dies over me.

    他可以為我付出生命。

  • (coughs)

    (咳嗽)

  • I think Kenny just died.

    我覺得 Kenny 好像真的死掉了。

  • It's like watching an episode of South Park over and over again.

    這就像是不斷重複地看南方四賤客一樣。

  • Poor Kenny, he used to have a crush on me.

    可憐的阿尼,他曾經喜歡我的說 (註:南方四賤客的阿尼也叫 Kenny)。

  • Are you okay?

    你沒事吧?

  • Now for this, one of two things are gonna happen alright?

    接下來有兩種可能會發生:

  • Number one: you like the person back and ya'll go and get jiggy with it.

    第一:你也會喜歡上對方,然後你們就會陷入熱戀。

  • Number two: you don't.

    第二種可能:你不喜歡他。

  • And when you don't, it's just another regular day except the idea of romance has been infiltrated into your mind,

    當你不喜歡對方的時候,一切就跟平常一樣,除了你會開始出現一些浪漫的想像。

  • so you're having a conversation with your friend like, I can honestly imagine myself in a relationship these days.

    你就會跟朋友出現這樣的對話,其實這幾天我可以想像我去談一段戀愛。

  • Totally.

    是喔。

  • You know, it's nice to depend on people sometimes.

    其實有時候依賴別人感覺也不錯。

  • For sure.

    對啊!

  • I even stopped recycling and eating healthy because I'm like what's the point, people crush on me either way.

    我甚至不再做環保,也沒在健康飲食了,反正還是有人會喜歡我,那些根本沒意義。

  • I think I'm just like, naturally quirky and attractive.

    我覺得我可能天生就很迷人又有魅力吧!

  • And then she hits you with-I heard Kenny doesn't like you anymore.

    接著你朋友說了一句:我聽說 Kenny 不喜歡妳了。

  • What?

    什麼?

  • Yeah, Kenny likes Tricia now, he told me.

    他說他現在喜歡 Tricia,他親口說的。

  • Thus entering phase three: the break up.

    這就是第三階段:分手。

  • Yo, straight up, breaking up with someone you're not in a relationship with is the worst.

    老實說,跟一個沒有在一起的人分手感覺是最糟糕的。

  • How dare you not be dating me, and be cheating on me.

    你怎麼有膽沒跟我在一起就劈腿?

  • Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, listen, hey, hey, hey.

    噢噢噢,聽著,嘿嘿嘿!

  • What's all this with you not liking me anymore.

    你為什麼不喜歡我了?

  • Hey, well I thought you weren't into me.

    嘿,呃,因為我以為妳不喜歡我。

  • So that's it, what you're not gonna like fight for me?

    就這樣?你不打算爭取我嗎?

  • Fight who?

    跟誰爭?

  • Anyone, honestly is chivalry dead?

    任何人,現在男人都沒有紳士風度了嗎?

  • I'm sorry, I like Tricia now.

    我很抱歉,但我現在喜歡 Tricia。

  • No, no you don't, listen, focus, okay, I am your crush.

    不,你不喜歡她。聽著,我才是你喜歡的人。

  • But you said you didn't like me.

    可是妳說妳不喜歡我。

  • That's irrelevant.

    兩件事又無關。

  • Listen, you're supposed to have a crush on me for a really long time.

    聽好,你應該要喜歡我很長一段時間。

  • Why, because it makes me feel good.

    為什麼?因為這樣我才會覺得很快樂。

  • God, you know nothing about girls.

    天啊,你完全不懂女生。

  • Okay, fine, I like you?

    好啦,好啦,我喜歡妳?

  • Damn straight you like me.

    你當然喜歡我。

  • Now pull yourself together, God, you're practically drooling over me.

    天啊,振作點好嗎?你口水都流下來了

  • He has a crush on me.

    他喜歡我。

  • What?

    搞什麼?

  • And all of this is my cheeky way of saying that I have a huge crush.

    說了這麼多我只是不要臉地想表達我也有一個很喜歡的人 (註:huge crush 此處雙關很大瓶的 Crush 飲料)

  • Ah, sike, go to the end card.

    (哈氣聲) 好!進結尾吧!

  • Yo, my lipstick matches my shirt okay?

    我今天的口紅跟衣服很搭吧?

  • For that alone, give this video a thumbs up.

    所以快按這部影片一個讚!

  • Check out my last video right over there.

    去看看我最新的影片。

  • Second vlog channel right over there.

    還有我的影音網誌頻道。

  • Yo, super 60 starts right now, which means for the next hour, I'll be responding to comments down below, so go ahead and comment, make sure you subscribe because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday.

    然後 Super 60 馬上就開始,意思是接下來一整個小時,我都會回覆影片下方的留言,所以快去留言,記得訂閱,我每週一和週四都會發布新影片。

  • One love, Superwoman.

    Superwoman 愛你們!

  • That is a wrap and zoop!

    就這樣,再見啦!

I'm about to exposed everything you won't admit.

接下來我要說的話,你絕對不會承認。

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超中肯!當你發現有人暗戀你的反應 (When Someone Has A Crush on You | Lilly Singh)

  • 53670 2008
    Samuel 發佈於 2018 年 07 月 19 日
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