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This week in case you didn't know
is teacher appreciation week.
And it's very important to be
nice to your teachers.
You know, the NRA has their way,
they'll all have machine guns soon
and you'll have to be nice
to them.
And most people have one or more teachers
from the past that they
put through the wringer.
When I was in high school, we
had a spanish teacher named
Mr. Gretz.
And every day Mr. Gretz would write ten questions on the
chalkboard and then he'd pull down the map to cover them until quiz time.
And then he'd lift them up and we'd have to take the quiz.
And every day someone would somehow sneak into the classrooms
and erase all the questions and replace them with a cartoon penis.
[ Laughter ]
And then Mr. Gretz either retired or disappeared, I'm not sure after that year.
But I feel like we owe him an apology.
Teachers have difficult jobs.
So today in honor of teacher appreciation week we went out to Hollywood boulevard
to give people a chance to say sorry for the awful, awful things they did.
It's teacher appreciation week.
Are there any teachers you would like to apologize to?
Sure. My fifth grade teacher. Her name was Miss Glasser.
I gave her the nickname gassy goo, and it stuck with her the whole year.
My senior year of high school. I want to apologize to Miss Seawall because I arrived at
very drunk to my last final for math and I completely failed it.
And I knew what I was taking. I knew the stuff, but I failed it cause I was very, very drunk.
I want to apologize to my kindergarten teacher for kicking her every day.
Almost every day.
I would come in and kick her for no reason.
And after that first grade, my first grade teacher I would hit her with a rubber band and paper.
- So Things Got Worse. - Yeah.
- There was a teacher at Desoto high school in orange county who had very, very big curly hair
and when she'd turn around to write on the board we would roll up little pieces much paper and
see how many we could stick in her hair without her knowing.
What was your record?
I think it maybe was like eight or nine, not anything crazy.
I don't remember her name but I took a Spanish class my freshman year of high school and
I'm from mexico city. I was born there. But I didn't tell the teacher until
like the last week during like a final presentation, where I got up -- [ Speaking Spanish ]
And yeah. I spoke spanish better than her. I think she was Russian.
Just one.
Mr. McCrary.
He's a high school teacher in Prince George's, Virginia.
What did you do?
We stole his car and put it on the roof.
I want to apologize for telling a marijuana joke in first grade.
What was the joke?
Miss Kraus, why don't balloons do drugs?
And you know, panic on her face.
And she said, I don't know, amy.
And I said, because they're afraid they'll get too high and get busted.
And yeah. She didn't like that.
And what do you do now?
I'm the mayor of Manhattan Beach, California.
Are there any teachers you'd like to apologize to?
Yeah.
I'd like to apologize to the teacher I stole a checkbook from in high school.
Stealing my teacher's checkbook trying to cash a check and got caught and went to jail.
That was embarrassing, man.
In front of all of my student co- -- My friends seeing me locked up.
It was crazy. I apologize.
Forgive me.
I want to apologize to Miss Amundson, my ESL teacher.
She used to send me to go get cigarettes from the liquor store, and I would steal two or three cigarettes, you know.
And that's the way I learned how to smoke, you know.
And be cool.
At least I learned something in school, you know.
[ Applause ]
Jimmy: That's one way to looking at it.
Yeah. Best way.
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人們向當年的老師致歉 (People Apologize to Their Teachers)

5853 分類 收藏
Evangeline 發佈於 2018 年 11 月 18 日    Tiffany Yu 翻譯    Evangeline 審核
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