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  • Hey, this week, in case you didn't know, is Teacher Appreciation Week.

    假如你不知道的話,這禮拜其實是謝師週。

  • And it's very important to be nice to your teachers.

    對老師有禮貌很重要。

  • You know, the NRA has their way, they'll all have machine guns soon and you'll have to be nice to them.

    你知道的,美國全國步槍協會有他們的方式,老師們很快就會有機關槍,到時候你就必須對他們好了。

  • And most people have one or more teachers from the past that they put through the wringer.

    大多數人都曾讓一個或很多老師飽受折磨。

  • When I was in high school, we had a Spanish teacher named Mr. Gretz.

    高中的時候,我們的西班牙文老師叫 Gretz。

  • And every day Mr. Gretz would write ten questions on the chalkboard and then he'd pull down the map to cover them until quiz time.

    Gretz 老師每天考試前都會寫十個問題在黑板上,然後拉下地圖擋住問題。

  • And then he'd lift them up and we'd have to take the quiz.

    當他把地圖掀起時,我們就得進行考試。

  • And every day someone would somehow sneak into the classrooms and erase all the questions and replace them with a cartoon penis.

    每天都會有人不知道用什麼方式潛進教室裡,把那些問題給擦掉,然後畫上雞雞的圖案。

  • And then Mr. Gretz either retired or disappeared, I'm not sure after that year.

    那一年後,我不確定 Gretz 老師是退休了,還是消失了。

  • But I think, I feel like we owe him an apology.

    但我覺得我們欠他一句道歉。

  • Teachers have difficult jobs.

    老師是一份辛苦的工作。

  • So today in honor of Teacher Appreciation Week we went out to Hollywood Boulevard to give people a chance to say sorry for the awful, awful things they did.

    今天為了向老師致敬,我們來到好萊塢大道,給人們一個機會,為他們曾經做過糟糕透頂的事道歉。

  • It's Teacher Appreciation Week.

    這週是謝師週。

  • Are there any teachers you would like to apologize to?

    你有沒有想向他說聲抱歉的老師?

  • Sure. My fifth grade teacher. Her name was Miss Glasser.

    當然有。我五年級的老師,Glasser 老師。

  • I gave her the nickname gassy goo, and it stuck with her the whole year.

    我幫她取了一個綽號叫放屁黏土,然後這個綽號跟了她一整年。

  • My senior year of high school. I want to apologize to Miss Seawall.

    我想向高中四年級時的 Seawall 老師說聲對不起。

  • Because I arrived at very drunk to my last final for math and I completely failed it.

    因為最後一次數學期末考時,我喝得太醉,完全考砸了。

  • And I knew what I was taking. I knew the stuff, but I failed it cause I was very, very drunk.

    我知道我在考什麼,內容也都懂,但還是不及格,因為我那時候非常非常地醉。

  • I want to apologize to my kindergarten teacher for kicking her every day.

    我想跟我的幼稚園老師道歉,因為我每天都踢她。

  • Almost every day.

    幾乎每一天。

  • I would come in and kick her for no reason.

    我會走進教室,然後沒來由地踢她。

  • And after that first grade, my first grade teacher I would hit her with a rubber band and paper.

    然後一年級時,我用橡皮擦和紙丟我的老師。

  • - So things got worse? - Yeah.

    - 所以是每況愈下? - 對。

  • There was a teacher at Desoto high school in orange county who had very, very big curly hair

    - 橘郡的 Desoto 高中有位老師有一頭超級大捲髮。

  • and when she'd turn around to write on the board we would roll up little pieces much paper and see how many we could stick in her hair without her knowing.

    她轉身過去寫黑板時,我們都會把小張的紙捲起來,看在不被她發現的情況下,可以丟多少紙在她的頭髮裡。

  • What was your record?

    那你的紀錄是多少個?

  • I think it maybe was like eight or nine, not anything crazy.

    大概八、九個吧,很普通。

  • I don't remember her name but I took a Spanish class my freshman year of high school and I'm from Mexico city.

    我不記得她的名字,但高一時我修了西班牙文課。我來自墨西哥城。

  • I was born there.

    我在那出生的。

  • But I didn't tell the teacher until like the last week during like a final presentation, where I got up -- [ Speaking Spanish ]

    但我一直都沒告訴那位老師,直到最後一週期末報告,我突然 (口若懸河地講起西班牙文)。

  • And yeah. I spoke spanish better than her. I think she was Russian.

    我西班牙文講得甚至比她還好。我覺得她應該是俄羅斯人。

  • Just one.

    只有一個。

  • Mr. McCrary.

    McCrary 老師。

  • He's a high school teacher in Prince George's, Virginia.

    他是維吉尼亞州喬治王子郡的高中老師。

  • What did you do?

    你做了什麼?

  • We stole his car and put it on the roof.

    我們偷了他的車,然後把車放到屋頂上。

  • I want to apologize for telling a marijuana joke in first grade.

    我想為我在一年級時說了一個大麻笑話而道歉。

  • What was the joke?

    那個笑話是什麼?

  • Miss Kraus, why don't balloons do drugs?

    Kraus 老師,為什麼氣球不吸毒?

  • And you know, panic on her face.

    她一臉恐慌。

  • And she said, I don't know, Amy.

    然後她說,Amy,我不知道。

  • And I said, because they're afraid they'll get too high and get busted.

    我說,因為氣球害怕他們飛得太高 (也可以譯作吸毒吸得的太嗨) 會爆炸。

  • And yeah. She didn't like that.

    然後顯然她並不喜歡這個笑話。

  • And what do you do now?

    那妳現在的工作是什麼?

  • I'm the mayor of Manhattan Beach, California.

    我是加州曼哈頓海灘的市長。

  • Are there any teachers you'd like to apologize to?

    你有沒有想向哪位老師道歉?

  • Yeah.

    有。

  • I'd like to apologize to the teacher I stole a checkbook from in high school.

    我偷了我高中老師的支票簿,我想跟他道歉。

  • Stealing my teacher's checkbook trying to cash a check and got caught and went to jail.

    我偷了老師的支票簿,試圖要兌現支票,結果被逮到,去了監獄。

  • That was embarrassing, man.

    超級丟臉的。

  • In front of all of my student co- -- My friends seeing me locked up.

    我所有的朋友都看到我被上銬。

  • Man, that was crazy. I apologize.

    這真的太瘋狂了,我道歉。

  • Forgive me.

    請原諒我。

  • I want to apologize to Miss Amundson, my ESL teacher.

    我想跟 Amundson 老師,我的英文第二外語老師道歉。

  • She used to send me to go get cigarettes from the liquor store, and I would steal two or three cigarettes, you know.

    她以前都會請我去商店買菸,然後我會偷個兩、三根菸。

  • And that's the way I learned how to smoke, you know.

    我就是這樣學會抽煙的。

  • And be cool.

    還有學會裝酷。

  • At least I learned something in school, you know.

    至少我在學校學到了點東西。

  • That's one way of looking at it.

    這確實是看待事情的一種角度。

  • Yeah. That's the best way.

    沒錯,最好的角度。

Hey, this week, in case you didn't know, is Teacher Appreciation Week.

假如你不知道的話,這禮拜其實是謝師週。

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A2 初級 中文 美國腔 JimmyKimmel 老師 高中 西班牙文 笑話 教室

【吉米秀】求學時愛整老師嗎?有什麼話想對當年的老師說 (People Apologize to Their Teachers)

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    Evangeline 發佈於 2021 年 11 月 25 日
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