I'm a famous youtuber. So, yeah!

我是Youtuber名人，所以是的

We're gonna win this one.

這局我們贏定了

[Kid] Okay. Then what's your youtube channel called?

"OK，那你的Youtube頻道叫什麼？"

[Dunk] You've ever heard of "Jake Paul", kid?

你有聽過Jake Paul這個頻道嗎，孩子？

[Kid 1] *laughing* [Kid 2] You're not Jake Paul!

"你才不是..." "你真的是那個Jake Paul？"

[Dunk] Yep! It's really me, guys!

對，就是在下本人我

Jake Paul in da house!

Jake Paul在此！

[Kid 1] Yeah, I know it. Jake Paul-

"對，我知道這個頻道，Jake Paul..."

[Kid 1] Yeah, I know it. Jake Paul- [Kid 2] What kind of (inaudible)

"太不可思議了..." "對，我知道這個頻道，Jake Paul..."

[Kid 1] ...Fortnite, because I-

"...要塞英雄，因為我..."

[Dunk] It's always great to meet fans, you know!

能夠見到自己的粉絲感覺挺棒的，你知道嗎

Just six days ago, I was doing this week's gorilla prank on my girlfriend

六天前我才對我女友做了一個超讚的大猩猩惡作劇

[Kid 2] (whispering) He's a fake!

"他是假的"

[Player] What the fuck?

"三小？"

[Player] Well! He's gonna die.

"好哦，他要死了"

[intense music]

"嘿老兄，Jake Paul！"

[Kid] Yeah, bro! Jake Paul!

"好了各位，就像我剛說的，我不是只想玩玩而已"

[Player] Alright guys! Like I said, I don't play for fun.

"我要的是勝利"

I play to win

沒錯，我也是這麼認為的，老兄！

[Dunk] Yep! I'm the same exact way, man!

我只要贏就行了！

I only play to win.

00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:45,980

[intense music]

00:00:45,980 --> 00:00:47,980

[music stops]

00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,040

[music resumes]

00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:53,980

[music stops]

00:00:53,980 --> 00:00:55,280 "他完全沒注意到耶！"

[music resumes]

00:00:57,060 --> 00:00:57,920 可惡！

[Kid] He didn't even noticed.

"老兄，你玩起來就像個Jake Paul啊，老兄"

[music stops]

這應該代表什麼意思？

[Dunk] Damn! (laughing)

"Jake Paul玩要塞英雄玩得超爛

[Kid 1] Bro! You're- You're playing like Jake Paul, bro!

"你該去看什麼？你該去看你的唐老鴨"

[Dunk] What is that supposed to mean?

才不是

[Kid 2] Jake Paul is ASS at Fortnite.

"然後你該去看..."

[Kid] What you should be watching, would be watching Donald Duck.

不！

[Dunk] No!

我都看寶貝老闆... 秀

[Kid] Then, you should be watch-

"但那不是一個秀，你知道嗎？"

*laughs* [Dunk] No!

"哈哈，寶貝老闆是電影啊"

[Dunk] I watch the Boss Baby

錯了！

Show

我看的是《寶貝老闆：重出江湖》

[Kid] Not a show, but you know!

就在Netflix上，所以你才是那個小白癡

Hehh! Boss baby's a movie.

"那是電影，笨蛋"

[Dunk] Ehh! Wrong!

老兄，等我把這段影片丟上「Jake Paul」的頻道 你可能會尷尬到爆哦

It's called "Boss Baby: Back in Business"

"哈哈哈哈你又不是Jake Paul！"

It's on Netflix! So, you're dumb.

"有人來了"

[Kid] It's a movie, dumbass!

[Fluppy] 收到

[Dunk] Dude! You're gonna be so embarrassed when I put this on my "Jake Paul" youtube channel.

[Leah] 哇嗚！

[Kid] Ye- ye- Yeah!

[Fluppy] 好的，沒事沒事

You're not frickin' Jake paul!

這邊有人有麥克風的嗎？

[Player] Someone's coming!

\汪/

[Fluppy] Ok!

哦嘿老兄！你好嗎？

[Leah] Woo!

所以你們打算往哪裡跳？

*laughing*

\汪汪/

[Fluppy] Alright! We're good.

了解

*Leah laughing*

Fluppy！那個是三小鬼東西？

[Dunk] Anybody got a mic?

他到底花了多少錢在這遊戲上？

*Dog Barking*

[Fluppy] OK！

[Dunk] Oh! Hey, man! What's going on?

[Fluppy] 如果他說他花超過三位數，那我就退房

So. Where do you guys wanna drop?

[Fluppy] 我要把他給踢了

*Dog Barking Twice*

[Fluppy] 應該有花到那個數字...哦哦哦哦哦

[Dunk] Okay.

你們玩要塞英雄強不強？

Fluppy? What the fuck is that abomination?

"我不知道該怎麼玩耶"

How much money did he spend on that?

"嗯，再見，短吻鱷"

[Fluppy] Ok!

掰掰

If he says anything in the triple digits, I'm leaving!

[Leah] 什麼，你離開了？

I'm just gonna kick him.

"沒有！"

It's probably up there

"嘿，狗哥，你為什麼要到處亂射？"

OHHH!!!

"這傢伙有病是不是？"

[Dunk] Are you guys good at Fortnite?

跟我走，我是世界排名第一個玩家

[Kid] I don't know how to barely play.

"哈哈哈"

*Dunkey's laughing*

"噢，哇！"

[Kid] Well! See you later, alligators!

"哇靠！"

[Dunk] See ya!

"噢！他又來了！"

[Leah] What? Are you leaving?

"這傢伙完全不肯停下來"

[Kid] Nope!

哦，它來了...

*Leah's laughing*

百萬手套

[Player] Yo, dog! Why are you just shooting random stuff?

利用神秘寶石的力量

[intense music]

我就能製造出要塞英雄2了！

[Player] What's up with this guy?

而現在，我將...

[Dunk] Follow me! I'm the number one ranked player in the world.

欸欸欸給我滾開！那是我的！

*Teammate laughing*

這次全都是我的了！

[intense music]

只有我和手套

[Player] Oh, wow!

...還有這傢伙！

Oh, man!

還有其他人在開槍

Oh! He did it again!

還有另外四個人

This dude is unstoppable!

無限之戰爛透了！

[Dunk] Ooh, there it goes!

(薩諾斯降臨)

Utilizing the power of the mystic jewels

噢靠北！不！

I'll be able to make Fortnite 2!

等等等一下....

And then, I'll-

(一拳)

He- Get- Get away from that!

打我啊！

It's mine!

哇！

This time! It's all mine, baby!

成功了！

It's just me and the glove.

對吧？

..and THAT guy!

啊？

and another guy shooting

死了

and a forth guy.

(在學海底總動員的海鷗大喊「我的」) 嘿！不好意思！你的回合還沒到！

Infinity War sucks!

換我當薩諾斯先生了好嗎！

Oh, shit! No!

[薩諾斯] 末日...將至

Wait, wait, wa- Ah-!

要塞英雄的末日將至

[punch]

如果他繼續出這種智障模式的話

Hit me!

你們知道要怎麼拿到「薩諾斯之槍」

Whop!

"薩諾斯之槍？"

It did!

對啊

Right?

"那是一把槍？"

Ah?

"那個薩諾斯是...是...呃..."

Dead?

"是用無限手套，沒錯！" 薩諾斯之槍

Yeah! Excuse me! You had your turn, Ok? *Mine! - Seagulls from Finding Nemo*

"無限手套才對吧？" "不是槍吧？"

It's my turn to be Mr. Thanos, now!

不，我稱他為「薩諾斯之槍」

[Thanos] The end... is near.

它可以讓你變身成薩諾斯

[Dunk] The end is near for Fortnite.

從...呃...

If it keeps coming up with these stupid-ass game modes.

蜘蛛人

Do you guys know how to get the "Thanos Gun"?

(網路語音和聲終於實現了) "不，是...是...."

[Kid] The Thanos GUN?

母湯哦

[Dunk] Yeah!

"寶～貝～"

[Kid 2] It's a GUN???

"寶、寶、寶、寶"

[Kid 1] It's the Thanos. It's- Hmm.

藍色的，閉嘴

[Kid 1] Infinity Gauntlet, yep. [Dunk] The Thanos Gun.

"寶～貝～"

[Kid 1] The Infinity Gauntlet? [Kid 2] There's no gun.

"寶～"

[Dunk] No. It's called the "Thanos Gun".

閉嘴

It turns you into Thanos

"寶～XDD"

from... Uh...

嘿藍色，過來一下

Spider-Man.

(就是那個一直在唱寶貝的傢伙)

[Kid 2] No! It's a- It's a-

我剛找到一支不錯的武器要給你

[Dunk] NO.

哈哈哈哈哈

[Player] Bayyyyyybeeee!

"幹"

Bay, Bay, Bay, Bay, Bay-

"幹你娘"

[Dunk] Dude! Shut up!

"幹你娘操！"

[Player] Bayyyyyybeeee!

"我要試試看連上我的手把"

Bay!

♪ 船艙主題曲 - MGS 2 ♪

[Dunk] Shut up!

他沒注意到

[Player] Bay! *laughing*

"我要確認一下有沒有人跑過來"

(Starts repeating "baby" faster and Dunkey is getting angry)

欸？

[Dunk] Hey, blue! Come over here, man!

噢不...

(The guy who was saying "Baby")

♪ 船艙主題曲 - MGS 2 ♪

I wanna give you this good weapon I found.

好了

*Dunkey laughing*

我拿到兩殺了

[intense music]

"不，那個擊殺是我拿的"

[Kid] GOD

"但算了..."

FUCKING

我好像聽到這邊有人

DAMMIT!

好了，我拿到三殺了

[Kid] I'm gonna try to connect my controller.

"是...是我拿到三殺"

♪ Crew's Quarters Theme - MGS 2 ♪

等一下，我要把這段丟上我的Youtube頻道

[Dunk] He doesn't know.

"你可以看右上角"

[Player] I'm gonna check if no one is coming here.

"上面寫說你沒有殺到人"

[Dunk] Eh?

"我不..." 紫色，你可不可以..

Uh-oh.

紫色，可不可以請你...

♪ Crew's Quarters Theme - MGS 2 ♪

稍微閉一下嘴好嗎

[Dunk] Alright.

我要把這段丟上Youtube頻道

I just got 2 kills.

(打字中) 要塞英雄...三連殺...

[Kid] No

...Jake Paul

I got the kills

好了

but, ok...

"噢"

[Dunk] I think I hear something over here.

哼哼，怎麼了嗎？Youtube

Alright! I got 3 kills now.

"閉嘴"

[Kid] I...

第五殺！

I got the 3 kills.

"第五殺？"

[Dunk] One second! I'm gonna put this on my Youtube channel.

"...是我殺的耶"

[Kid] Look at the top right

我的老天爺...

It says you have no kills.

拜託...

[Dunk] Purple if you could- [Purple] I'm not-

躲到樹後面！

Purple, if you could just.

很好，很好...他沒辦法靠近樹

Just shush for a minute.

幹掉它！我要幹掉他了！我要...啊！我拿到了！

I'm gonna put this on my Youtube channel

我拿到...Power Paw™了！

Fortnite...Triple Kill... (Typing)

[巴斯光年] 飛向宇宙...浩瀚無垠！ 老天，我辦到了！

...Jake Paul.

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

Okay.

太好了，這股力量！

[Purple] Oh!

現在我將消滅這場遊戲中一半的人數

[Dunk] Well! What's going on, Youtube?

啥？

[Purple] Shut up!

他連門都進不去？！

[Dunk] Kill No. 5!

是的，我放棄了

[Purple] Kill No. 5?

薩諾斯爛透了

I like how I got them.

嗯，回到這裡真是太好了，太好了...

[Dunk] Oh my god!

這裡的人們棒透了

please

如果你玩了堡壘之夜一整天，那該怎麼說？

Behind the tree!

"...堡壘之日？"

Yes, yes... He's no match against the tree!

...

I'm Killin' him, I'm killin' him!

是的，我放棄這個模式了

I'm gonna...

"我...我火箭用得很溜"

Whh...

聽著，老兄

I got the...

我把火箭給你，但你要保證 你真的很會用

I got the... Power Paw™!

"嗯，我真的很會用火箭筒"

[Buzz Lightyear] To infinity... and beyond! [Dunk] Oh my god, I did it!

"站我前面，一個人站我前面"

[Battle Theme]

然後等我倒數起跳

*Laughing Evilly*

1

Yes, the power!

2

Now I will wipe out half of the people playing!

3

What?

跳

He can't even fit through the door?

噢，可惡

Yeah, I quit.

監製 Gerald Dinklederf

Thanos sucks!

美術設計 Harold Winslow

Eh, it's so great to be here, so great. ♪ Seinfeld theme song ♪

What a great audience. Hey!

What do you call it when you play Fortnite during the daytime?

[Player] Fort-day?

...

[Dunk] Yeah, I'm out out of here-

[Kid] I'm- I'm amazing with the rocket.

[Dunk] Listen, man.

I'll give you the rocket, but you have to promise me that you're good with it.

[Kid] Yeah! I'm like...really good, with the rocket launcher.

Stand in front of me. Someone stand in front of me.

And jump on my count.

1

2

3

Jump.

Oh, crap!

♪ Seinfield Theme - Sega Genesis Remix ♪

[OUTRO] ♪ Seinfield Theme - Sega Genesis Remix ♪