Gotta respect that.

[Tired Moan]

Damn Gina!

What is that?

Oooh, It's a sloppy Jessica.

Mac & Cheese, Chili, Pizza, on a bun.

It's everything I've wanted to eat for the last 48 hours.

[Satisfied Moan]

Hey, what's up guys.

Welcome back to Binging with Babish.

Where this week were taking a look at the single carrot from Brooklyn Nine-Nine

First were going to take a single baby carrot.

Give it a good look at that, appreciate it.

All of its curves and complexities.

Let's see how it tastes.

Oh wow, it tastes exactly like a carrot.

Screw this, let's make the Sloppy Jessica.

The Sloppy Jessica is Gina's abomination that combines chili, macaroni & cheese, and pizza, on a bun.

So we've made chili a few times on this show before.

So were going to make a relatively basic chili.

Were starting with the usual routine of soaking some dried ancho chiles in boiling water for 10 minutes.

Before adding a few teaspoons each of cumin, ground coriander seed, paprika, one or two canned chipotles in adobo sauce (depending on your level of heat tolerance)

-and blend the whole thing together to make chili paste.

Then we're going to brown some ground round.

I'm kidding, this is probably chuck.

It's more fun to say though.

Then, in fat from the beef, we're going to saute some onions, add some garlic, add some tomatoes, add the chili paste, and there you go.

Very basic but very delicious chili,

which of course we're going to season after simmering for at least 45 minutes

Next up, we need to make some red sauce for the pizza element of the Sloppy Jessica.

Again, we've made red sauce in many different iterations on this show before.

The basic idea is: finely mince a small onion, saute for a few minutes until soft, crush in a clover or two of garlic and saute for an additional 30 seconds, or until fragrant, and then add your tomatoes.

I'm going for a 50/50 mix of diced and pureed tomatoes.

Also I'm going to throw in a little bit of dried oregano and a whole sprig of basil.

Simmer for 45 minutes to an hour, until slightly thickened and the acidity of the tomatoes has abated.

Next up, Mac & Cheese.

Now a close examination of the sandwich indicates that it's not actually macaroni elbows, like usual, but ziti.

I mean, it's not like they were exercising restraint when they designed this sandwich.

Once the past's cooked, drain, and set aside so we could make a roux for our cheese sauce.

Equal parts in this case.

Three tablespoons each of butter and flour, toasted together for about 30 seconds until the sort of raw flour smell goes away-

-and then slowly streaming in maybe 3 cups of whole milk, whisking the whole time until a thick sauce forms.

Make sure you scrape the corners so you don't miss any of that roux hiding out.

Whisk until thoroughly combined and starting to thicken.

Add a little bit of dried mustard, a few dashes of hot sauce, if you're feeling frisky.

Keep whisking as the mixture heats up and then it's time to add the cheese.

I'm going for a solid pound of grated yellow cheddar along with maybe 4 or 5 ounces of grated Parmesan.

Adjust as necessary for optimal cheesiness before adding the pasta to the mixture and mixing until evenly coated.

(Trying very very hard not to eat the whole thing in one sitting.)

Of course, season with salt and pepper before serving-

-or stuffing into a sandwich.

Pizza is listed as a component of this sandwich, so I'm thinking we make French bread pizza as our sandwich scaffolding.

The way I like to make my French bread pizza is starting with a layer of mozzarella, then hitting it with the sauce.

Thus preventing sauce-bread saturation.

And, because I apparently don't give a #%@& about my health anymore, another layer of mozzarella and some freshly grated Parmesan.

Placed into a 425° Fahrenheit oven.

While that guy is going, we need to make "Chili-Mac"

What is Chili-Mac?

Well, I'll tell ya

It's chili with macaroni & cheese.

Just in case you thought it was like cold macaroni & cheese or something.

Anyway, our French bread pizza is out the oven so naturally it's time to top it with a whole bowl of chili-macaroni & cheese

And now we gotta try and close this thing up.

On our first attempt we're going to burn our precious little fingers.

Ow.

But then we're going to take a deep breath, grow a pair, and turn this into something resembling a sandwich.

Were going to cut it in half, because it would be physically impossible to eat it in its current state.

And then, as we promise ourselves we're going to research salads for future episodes of Binging with Babish, we dig in like the monsters we know we are.

And as you can imagine, this guy joined the clean plate club.

It was damn near impossible to eat this entire thing, but you know what?

I'm really glad I did it-

-and I'm just kidding.

Of course I cut it up and shared it with my friends

Serving this sandwich is one of the few ways you can be both a really good and a really bad friend at the same time.

[ Outro Music Plays ♬ ]