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  • You're finally meeting his family of eight

    你終於見到了他的八人大家庭,

  • over a home-cooked meal big enough for 30...

    桌上擺滿了夠三十人吃的豐盛家常料理,

  • when you need to bake a kiester casserole.

    就在這時,你突然感到一股要烤巧克力蛋糕的衝動

  • *stomach grumbles*

    *腸胃蠕動*

  • *silverware falling*

    *餐具掉落*

  • Hi, uh. Where is the restroom?

    呃不好意思,洗手間在哪裡?

  • Uh, it's right behind you.

    就在你的正後方

  • Right behind me? Oh...

    正後方?噢...

  • That is convenient.

    真方便啊

  • Now, what do you do?

    現在,你該怎麼做?

  • He's really hot.

    他真的很性感

  • Most of the time I get real big troll.

    不像之前大多時候我都遇到怪胎

  • I need you, help me out.

    我需要你幫幫我!

  • *aerosol spaying*

    *噴清新芳香劑*

  • *stomach growling and toots*

    *腸胃咆哮,屁股吹奏喇叭*

  • Oh my gosh.

    我的天啊

  • What did I do?

    我做了什麼?

  • What did I eat?

    我都吃了些啥?

  • *toot*

    *放屁聲*

  • Oh no!

    糟了!

  • After you answer Mother Nature's booty call, you fill the air with synthetic citrus,

    就在你解決完生理需求後,

  • hoping the scent of last night's burrito

    你在空氣中噴滿合成柑橘氣味,

  • won't follow you back to the table.

    心裡暗自希望昨晚吃的捲餅氣味

  • Ooouugh, that was a bad choice.

    不會跟著你回餐桌

  • *coughing*

    噁!真是大錯特錯

  • They're going to know my secrets.

    *咳嗽*

  • And they're gonna hate me. And I'm never gonna find love.

    他們就要知道我的秘密了

  • Maybe more, maybe more, oh maybe more.

    他們一定會恨我,我就再也沒人愛了

  • Oh come on. Come on.

    再來,再來一些,不夠不夠

  • And everyone's going to be married with kids

    加油啊!

  • And I'm going to be a lone lady with cats.

    大家都會結婚生小孩,

  • *toilet flushing, coughing*

    就我一個人會成為養貓的獨居老太太

  • *commotion*

    *沖馬桶聲,咳嗽*

  • Smells like, diaper gravy!—Smells like uh,

    *群起騷動*

  • It's got some fruit notes. Is, is it shitrus?

    聞起來好像...尿布汁!-- 聞起來像...

  • I can taste it!

    有一些水果氣味。是屎混水果的氣味嗎?

  • It's atomic!

    我嘗得出味道!

  • It's, it's stingingWe need to go!—It's stinging. I can, I can...

    簡直像原子彈轟炸!

  • It's burning.—I can see it!

    好刺鼻! --我們該走了!-- 太刺鼻了。我似乎可以...

  • My eyes. It's in my eyes.

    鼻子在燒。 -- 看得出來!

  • She ruined my dinner!

    我的眼睛。我眼裡都是!

  • *sobbing*

    她毀了我的晚餐!

  • *crickets chirping*

    *啜泣*

  • *girl makes ring noises*

    *蟋蟀叫*

  • Oh, this is really important. I better take this.

    *女生裝電話鈴聲*

  • You tuck turtle head back in its shell

    這通電話非常重要,我必須接

  • and toot, scoot and boogie to the backyard.

    你像縮頭烏龜一樣,

  • You pop a squat and push it. P-p-push it real good.

    然後趕緊開溜到後院

  • And just when you think

    你立刻蹲下來,使勁推。ㄊㄨㄟ,推!使勁推!

  • you've gotten away with your rectal ruse...

    就在你以為

  • *sigh*

    你的腸胃危機已經過去了的時候...

  • Pleaseplease.

    *歎氣*

  • I, I won't tell if you don't tell.

    拜託... 我求你

  • *laughs*

    你我都別說溜嘴

  • No deal!

    *大笑*

  • Why?

    想得美!

  • Why can't you be a nice grandma

    為什麼?

  • that bakes pies and knits sweaters.

    為什麼你就不是那種好阿嬤,

  • *spritz, spritz, spritz*

    會烤派、織毛衣的那種

  • Please, excuse me.

    *噴霧聲*

  • Before you pass the chocolate delights,

    容我離開一會

  • you spritz the bowl with Poo~Pourri.

    就在你解放自己的巧克力蛋糕前,

  • *toot, sigh*

    你在馬桶裡噴一些 Poo~Pourri

  • Nice.

    *放屁聲,嘆氣聲*

  • Whew!

    好耶

  • Mmm, yeah.

    解放啦!

  • That was a good one,

    就是這樣

  • but it smells good too.

    這一批很好哦,

  • You did so good.

    聞起來也很好

  • I just pooped and it smells fabulous. Yeah!

    你做得好極了

  • Bring it down. Bring it down. Down town. I did, right?!

    我剛剛大便完,聞起來棒極了。耶!

  • Yeah. Yeah!

    放馬過來,盡情放馬過來。來啊來啊。看我的!

  • *toilet flushing*

    耶!啵棒!

  • All they'll be able to smell is an

    *沖馬桶聲*

  • appetizing blend of natural essential oils.

    他們會聞到的

  • Oh, that's heavenly.

    是一股自然精油的美妙氣味

  • I don't remember putting a

    宛如置身天堂

  • lemon meringue pie in the oven.

    我不記得我有在烤箱裡

  • Whatever that smell is I want to eat it,

    放檸檬酥皮派啊

  • right now, with my mouth.

    不論那氣味是什麼,我都想吃,

  • It smells like sunshine!

    現在吃,直接放進嘴裡

  • And fruit loops!

    聞起來像陽光!

  • Very nice blend.—Marry this one man.

    還有水果圈麥片!

  • I mean, she poops pies.

    美妙至極。 -- 跟這位結婚吧,老兄

  • Am i right? —Just like me.—Just like you!

    她的大便可是聞起來像派

  • Winner winner, burrito dinner.

    我說的對吧? --就像我一樣。-- 沒錯,和你一樣!

  • Control the shituation with Poo~Pourri...

    掌控全場的大贏家,什麼捲餅也不怕

  • the Before-You-Go Toilet Spray that creates a

    用 Poo~Pourri 解決大便尷尬問題

  • film on the water's surface that actually traps odor

    使用前噴灑,

  • before it begins.

    在水面形成薄膜,在開始散發臭味前

  • If your poo stinks,

    就先把它鎖住

  • Click here to get your Poo~Pourri today at PooPourri.com

    如果你的便便會臭,

  • Poo~Pourri.

    現在就點擊這裡,前往 PooPourri.com 購買你的 Poo~Pourri

  • When the glasses clink, don't ruin the party with a stink.

    Poo~Pourri

You're finally meeting his family of eight

你終於見到了他的八人大家庭,

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B2 中高級 中文 美國腔 氣味 腸胃 大便 解放 放馬 放屁聲

尷尬了,在男友家聚餐時如何優雅地解放? (How to Poop at a Party - PooPourri.com)

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    April Lu 發佈於 2018 年 08 月 21 日
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