All right, which one of us see whatever is on

隨便啦~

The man they call the bagger claims three more victims late last night

一名稱為袋者的人， 在昨晚收集了三個戰利品(殺了三個人

His secret weapon a trash bag, if you recognize this man

他的秘密武器是:一個垃圾袋

Please call the station or your local police department immediately the chief of police says that this triple homicide

如果你認識這個人

Babe? yeah? That looks a lot like you

請立即打給警局或找最近的派出所求救

That Guy Has a mustache

親愛的 是?

The only thing left of the scene was the killer's fake mustache

那個人看起來...很像你

I'm being told that you're now seeing an updated version of the sketch of the killer without his fake mustache

啊~他有八字鬍

The man is six four in height

唯一留在現場的，只有犯人的假八字鬍

Wait how tall are you? like 5'4

我們請了專業人員，利用修圖軟體修改

I'm sorry

...所以正確版本的犯人應該是長這樣

apparently he's 5'4 for I said 6'4 because I didn't think men were 5'4

犯人的身高為6.4呎。(約195公分)

We have security footage of the killer leaving the scene blasting this song

你多高? 大概5.4呎(約165公分)

Oh My God, I hate that song even i know that that's all as well as everyone knows. I hate this song

我很抱歉，更正，是5.4呎才對。

(Song Plays)

講6.4是因為不小心看成旁邊其它稿

She put this as my ring you put this on you put this oh

我們的監視系統捕捉到:犯人離開時所播的歌為 這一首

Yeah You did put it on my mom my mom put it on I'm being told the coroner has

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AFTER-

Officially confirmed that the time of death is 6PM Yesterday evening

我的天啊，我恨那首歌

Yesterday yesterday, where were we yesterday all [day]. [oh] yeah?

就連我也不喜歡

We're at Disneyland, Disneyland

大家都知道 我恨那首歌

all day, yeah

是她設定這首歌的 是妳用的 就是妳 女友:搖頭

this happened yesterday in the parking lot of Disneyland. It wasn't a happiest place on Earth for these three victims

誰? "她"是誰

Hear me out no no no listen to me wait wait guys guys

"她"指的是我媽，我媽用的鈴聲 朋友:喔是喔

We're friends, right?

剛有人告訴我:法醫已經得知 死者死亡時間是昨天晚上六點

Okay Just, hear me out

昨天，昨天!我們昨天一整天都在哪裡?

Listen there are seven billion people on this earth right? this can be anyone. It's just a coincidence

喔...對，我們昨天在迪士尼樂園

Witnesses said his last words were there are [seven] billion people on Earth right this could be anyone

迪士尼樂園!整天

It's just a coincidence, [okay], okay?

這發生在昨天:迪士尼的停車場裡

Wait, wait wait hear me out, but

這對於那三個戰利品而言，不是一個快樂的地方

Nope, that's all the information we have

聽我說，不不不不，聽著

Guys guys guys look look it wasn't me

這有點可怕 等等 等等 各位?各位!

it's cool i didn't hear nothing i didn't see nothing are we good? I swear it wasn't me trying to show me

我們是朋友?對吧?

If you have any information about who this man is you will be awarded three million dollars

好 聽我說!

Three Million?

聽著:世界上有七十億多的人

Your'e not gonna get nothing because it's not me

對吧?

[That's a lot of money]

這很可能是別人啊!

Wrong guy, you guys want three million?

只是個巧合罷了!

Go look for him. Have taken a little bit of a turn

證人說 他最後留下的話是:

Why are you walking like that?

世界上有七十億多的人啊，對吧? 這很可能是別人啊!

IT WASN'T ME THO

只是個巧合罷了!

GET THE #&#@ BACK NOW

好啦 好啦 好啦!

I SWEAR TO GOD IT WASN'T ME

等等 等等!聽我說，但是呢-

Okay, okay, okay? Okay? I look nothing like that picture

...就這樣，這是我們目前有的資訊

Listen? i'm listening This is what were gonna do, were gonna watch a movie like real friends, ok?

寶貝 寶貝! 各位! 嘿 等等!聽著

babe put on a movie. I mean not my babe not my babe that's your babe not my babe

不是我!

Sit down

好 我們什麼都沒聽到，什麼都沒看到。

it's all good. look it's me it's me .Yeah

我們只是要走了

(Gets hit with a pan and passes out)

我發誓那不是我

People you killed cops are on their way. We've got your gun now

把你的身體轉過去，我們就當沒見過面

[Who's got the gun now]

如果你有任何關於此人的訊息

Untie me right now!

你將能夠獲得3百萬美元(約台幣9000萬)

Huh I wish I could babe

3百萬...

I've got the gun now I've got the gun , babe. You're a killer i can't be with a killer what will my dad think?

你們...你們不會得到任何錢，因為那不是我

Brilliant a lot of money. I mean I did. breaking news the killer has been captured

找錯人了，你們如果想要那3百萬，就出去找他

He was arrested and is currently in custody your families are now safe

你沒有想要回饋一下我們嗎?

I'm being told the suspect is cooperating with the police and answering all of their questions. April Fool

你為什麼那樣走路?

Guys Can You Help Me.

回饋我們嘛!好吧老兄 拿啤酒-

give him this guy's good. Oh

真的不是我!給我他X的滾遠一點!

Okay, look at that. Oh, you're gonna listen [wow]

我對天發誓那不是我!

You're sharing your night. Yeah, yeah

好的 好的 好...

You know what I'm a real friend

我跟那張照片中的人完全不像

I'm gonna show you guys what real friends all about. no amount of money will change the way I feel about you guys

(露出跟照片一樣的表情)

Okay, I'm gonna forgive you guys

ANWAR:聽著! 朋友:我正在聽!

Bring it bring it in

猜我們要做什麼?

There is another update they caught the wrong man. The killer is still on the loose

我們要像真朋友一樣看電影，好嗎?

(Screams)

寶貝，去放電影。

GUYS COME BACK

寶貝，去放電影

Our hearts go out the families of these victims who were taken too soon and before their time it is [fairly]

我是說 不是我的寶貝，是你的 你的寶貝

Uncurly he is currently committing another murder

嗯 很好...坐下!

IT WASN'T ME

坐啊!各位!

(Ending Music)

好好好一切都很好，看著我