Name: 你唯一需要的約會建議 (The only dating advice you'll ever need)
Uploaded: 2018-06-11T21:01:01.000Z
Duration: 3 min 44 s

There is a lot of dating advice out there that doesn't make sense to me.

在我看來，外界有許多約會建議都是不切實際的。

Always make sure you're the one to text him less.

記得你必須是回比較少的那個人。

So if he sends you two texts you send him one.

所以要是他傳給你兩條訊息，你就回一條。

And if he sends you one text you send him one word answers.

如果他傳給你一條，你就回一個字。

If he's getting distant then you just tell him that he's being clingy    and that you need space.

如果他開始疏離你，你就告訴他，他實在太黏你了，你需要自己的空間。

You just always have to reverse psychology them.

Here's a series of books of canned responses for every possible scenario organized alphabetically by topic of discussion.

這系列書教你面對任何可能情況該要有的反應，討論內容主題按照字母順序排列。

There's articles and books and movies and blogs and videos all based purely on the concept that there is a right way to date someone.

許多文章、書籍、電影、部落格和影片，都是純粹立基在一個觀念上，以為有一套約會的不敗守則。

That there is a correct combination of texts and words and behaviours that will make somebody fall in love with you without you losing your power.

以為只要傳特定的訊息和文字，有特定的行為，就能夠不費吹灰之力地讓別人愛上你。

And I mean don't get me wrong . I'll admit when I was fifteen I would read Cosmopolitan and Seventeen magazine and follow their advice to a "T."

別誤會我，我必須承認在我十五歲時，我也會讀《柯夢波丹》和 Seventeen 雜誌，並且把他們的建議奉為圭臬。

He's gonna call me now. He's gonna call me now. He's gonna call me now.

他就要打來了，就快了，馬上就要打來了。

Now. Now. He's gonna call me now. He's... *gasps*

馬上就要。他馬上就會打給我。他 ...... 。*倒抽口氣*

Hey Michael! I'm so sorry. I was just in the shower... All naked and stuff.

嗨  Michael ！抱歉，我剛剛在洗澡 ...... 全身光溜溜。

But I realized that all of this advice is based on the flawed premise that love is a game and people are prizes to be won.

但我認為，所有這些建議都是建立在一個有缺陷的前提下：愛是一場遊戲，人心就是贏得的獎品。

And when I would follow these rules and inevitably get to know a person better and become emotionally invested in them.

而當我遵照這些規則，不免對一個人有比較深的認識，並且將自己的感情投入其中。

I would realize way too late. Wait! We're not actually compatible.

我才會發現都太遲了，我們其實並不適合彼此。

Look if they're not going to give me the bill on time then I'm just gonna go.

如果他們沒有及時把帳單給我，我就會走人。

I remember when I was in like my late teens, early twenties I had like this really long conversation with my grandma where I was just like confused and angry about love and marriage and dating and I just felt like there were so many rules you had to follow

記得在我二十歲出頭時，我和我奶奶有一次很長的對話，那時候我對於愛情、婚姻、和約會都有許多困擾和憤恨，我只覺得怎麼有這麼多要遵守的規則。

And I had so much anxiety about doing the wrong thing or saying the wrong thing.

我很擔心自己會做錯事、說錯話。

And she was like "Anna Kay. The only dating advice you will ever need is to just be yourself."

我奶奶回答「 Anna Kay ，你唯一會需要的約會建議，就是做你自己。」

Because that way if someone falls in love with you, they're falling in love with you.

因為這樣一來，如果某人愛上你了，愛上的就會是你本人。

It's a lot of work to maintain an idea over a long period of time.

要長期保持形象是一件相當費神的事。

And her advice, though very simple, and straightforward and seemingly obvious really stuck with  me.

她的建議雖然非常一般、直白，甚至看來顯而易見，但卻跟著我直到今天。

As like a no bullshit way to see who's weirdness vibes    with your weirdness.

不是開玩笑，這是個方法來找到與你氣味相投的人。

Because if you're the kind of person who says whatever is on their mind.

因為要是你是哪種心裡想什麼就說什麼的人。

Your date's gonna either laugh and like it or they're gonna think that it's awkward and never call you again.

你的約會對象不是聽了大笑，就是覺得尷尬，再也不打給你。

But either way, you didn't hold back an aspect of your personality that you otherwise might've suppressed for some time.

但不論什麼結果，你都沒有對自己有所保留，不然你可能要壓抑好一陣子。

I think it's much better to just be upfront    with who you are and what the other person is signing up for.

我覺得比較好的方式就是對自己和對對方坦率。

And if they don't - cool! Move on and find somebody else.

要是不喜歡，沒關係，找尋下一個人選。

And when you finally do they'll like you for you.

當你找到對的人，他們會喜歡真正的你。

Instead of this carefully curated construct that you've spent so much time building for them.

而非愛上你為了他們小心規劃的形象。

I'm Anna Akana. Stay right here for a sponsored message.

我是 Anna Kay 。別離開，贊助訊息在後頭。

Thank you to SquareSpace for sponsoring today's episode!

感謝 SquareSpace 贊助今日的節目！

Squarespace has beautiful award winning templates.

And an all in one platform so there is no installs, patches or upgrades ever.

和一個多合一的平台，無需任何安裝或升級。

They have 24 hour customer service and if you're looking for a domain,  they have a simple and unique setup experience.

他們有全天候的客服，若是你想架設網站，他們提供簡單、獨特的配置服務。

You can make any kind of website on Squarespace.

你可以在 Squarespace 架設各種網站。

Whether you're an artist, a photographer or just a lover.

無論你是一位藝術家、攝影師，或純粹是一名愛人。

Go to squarespace.com to start your free trial today.

今天就前往 squarespace.com 開始你的免費試用。

And use the offer code ANNA for 10% off at checkout.

來日結賬用折扣碼  ANNA 可享 10% 優惠。

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你唯一需要的約會建議 (The only dating advice you'll ever need)

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