Inordinate penalties if you occasionally just said "Screw it" to being sneaky and brute-forced

your way through a problem. It's my prerogative to get into the scrum and bounce around like

a hyperactive badger, dad burn it, and don't tell me that your average burly dude with

a gun wouldn't be just as terrified by a warrior of the night attacking from seemingly every

angle at once like Chipp Zanuff after a night at Charlie Sheen's house. But then I played

Mark of the Ninja, which... well, docked me some hyperactive badger points, but still

got the guard dead. Then I figured out the elegant way to do it, and... well, the blood

did flow.

In Mark of the Ninja, you're... get this... a ninja. Who's been tattooed and apparently

that gives some mystic powers, like being able to stop time to aim a shot at a light

to distract and confuse a guard who then... eats it. It's sidescrolling, Metroidvania-ish

ninja platforming action, combined with some sweet animation that blends a couple art styles

with some magical ink or something and... awright, so these jokers can't read a haiku

to save their lives. But the gameplay's sound and responsive, so long as you don't make

the mistake I did and try to play this with a keyboard and mouse, or in my case a cramped

laptop keyboard and irritatingly-placed touchpad. Switch out for a gamepad, though, and you'll

have much easier time grappling, wall-climbing, crawlin' around in the air ducts, and flinging

kunai all over the place to knock out light sources, shut down infrared sensors (which

you can totally see), hit gongs to make all the guards go "Huh?" and then turn their backs

on you so you can slip in and... well, let's just say you need work on your tracheotomy

technique.

But the true measure of a ninja isn't how many they kill, it's how many notice the killing.

Sure, you can bludgeon a man down and stab 'im as he's trying to get up, but that's kinda

ugly. You can crush 'em with heavy objects positioned precariously above their heads...

which is honestly kinda fun. You can listen to 'em suffer, which is kinda macabre but

gets the job done. Or, if you manage to approach completely undetected, connect with your attack,

and then input the correct quicktime command, you're treated to a stealth kill animation,

the full complement of bonus points, and the satisfaction of a job well done. That said,

if you truly understand the way, the correct response is to kill no one, pass through completely

undetected, and only take the lives of those responsible for imprisoning your fellow ninja.

As such, there are end-of-level bonuses not only for never being detected, but also never

resorting to taking a life. Or you can just go hyperactive-badger mode and kill everyone.

Your choice. Mine is a measured blend of both, at least until I get really really good due

to multiple playings of this thing. Mark of the Ninja incentivises skilled play without

making frenzied bloodbaths unfeasible, which is an ideal balance. And I'll save you the

hackneyed haiku I was going to put here.