My name is Jacksepticeye

我的名字是Jacksepticeye

and welcome to a game called .....

歡迎來到這款遊戲，名為

Hide The Porn >o

Hide The Porn (隱藏色情)

We've all been there (some more than others Jack???)

我們都做過這種事

We all know what it's like

我們都懂的ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

You're browsing away on something

你會去搜尋某些好東西ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

well this has like nuddie mags everywhere

就像到處都有色情雜誌可看

which is not a fucking thing anymore

(色情)已經氾濫了

I remember the days

我還記得那天

you'd open up the newspaper and page 3 there'd

你打開了報紙第三頁

be a big pair of boobs right there and you'd be like

一對大奶子出現在你眼前

"oh my god" and then you'd be wondering

你心想 "噢我的天" 然後開始想

"hmm.. I wonder how I can look at this whenever my family aren't around"

「嗯我想要在家裡沒人的時候再來仔細看看這個」ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

oh god probably sharin a bit too much information

噢天我可能有點透露得太多了

*laughs* XDDD

(,,・ω・,,)

I never did the jerk off sock though >.>

我從沒用襪子嚕過

just saying out right, right now because that sounds like the most painful thing ever

只是想現在直接講出來而已， 因為對我來說，這聽起來像是前所未有最痛苦的事

to me

我沒有這種性癖

um *laughing* ~(owo)~

噢(๑´ㅁ`)

so kinda avoided that

所以有點想避免它

oh we do have the internet right here

噢我們可以在這裡上網

okay

好的

so this is a game about you covering your tracks about watching porn

所以這個遊戲內容是有關湮滅接觸色情的證據

um

嗯

I don't know why your fucking porn is all over the place

我不知道為什麼你他媽要把證據弄得到處都是

anyway, but

算了

Let's play bedroom first C:

讓我們先從臥室開始玩吧

I wanna get a little bit intimate ;D

我想先稍微熟悉一點

I wanna get into his bedroom and see what's going on (>*u*)>

我想先進他房間看到底發生什麼事

okay do I actually have to click shit?

好吧我真的得點擊這玩意嗎？

okay

好的

hiding the sock

藏起襪子

hide the used tissues

藏起用過的衛生紙

okay

好的

there are stains

汙漬沾得

everywhere!

到處都是

okay game cartridges that's not the thing

好的遊戲主機不重要

hand lotion

洗手液

he's fucking running in circles >0

他天殺的就只會繞著圈跑

pick up your hand lotion!

撿起你的洗手液！

internet history

網頁歷史記錄

hide that shit

藏起那些狗屎爛蛋

oh god he hid the whole fucking laptop o,o

噢天他把整個筆電都藏起來了

that-that's good right?!

看-看起來很好，對吧?

I don't think there's anything else

我不覺得還有其他的漏掉

has that skateboard got to do with my porn? \(o.O)/

那個滑板跟色情有關嗎

hopefu-what is his fucking face

希望- 他那是什麼天殺的表情

*laughs* xDDD

σ`∀´)σ

THE MOM'S ANGRY ANYWAY!!?

反正媽媽在生氣

why did I even try?

為什麼我甚至要試著收拾？

oh god we're fucking doing it again straight away

噢天，我們馬上天殺的又再來一次

mother of god

你他媽

you only have 30 seconds to do this?!?!

你只有30秒可以清理

ok get rid of the jizz stains and the fucking lotion

好來擺脫精液的汙漬和他媽的乳液

everything

所有東西

used tissues

用過的衛生紙

yes

對

yes

對

used tissues are everywhere

到處都是用過的衛生紙

what is wrong with you dude?

老兄你有什麼毛病啊

what're you just tissuing and jizzing all over the place?!

為什麼你要把充滿精液的衛生紙到處亂丟

god you are going to fuck me up by running in circles like that. you know that? -.-

天，你就繼續在那裡繞他媽的圈跑吧，你懂嗎

oh. OH. OH! Did I get it?

噢。噢！噢！我成功了嗎？

barely any fucking seconds to spare

幾乎沒有他媽剩下任何一秒的餘裕

Jesus Christ

我的老天

This is like a-a porn crime scene

這就像個犯罪現場

there's just shit everywhere

到處充滿狗屎爛蛋

I had like no time to do that

我根本沒時間去做

ha. HA!

哈哈！

I am the best at hidin porn!

我是最棒的湮滅色情證據高手！

years of practice my friends

練就多年的成果，我的朋友

years of practice

練就多年啊

okay

好的

get ready, just keep clicking

準備好繼續點擊了

keep clicking until stuff works

點到東西開始運作為止

here we go

來吧

here we go... yes

來吧.....好欸

yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup

耶耶耶耶耶耶耶

pick it up!

撿起來！

fucks sake

他媽的

I had it done

我完成了

now you're watching the porn on the TV

現在你看電視上的色情畫面

fucks sake, man

去你的，老兄

okay, there's two more things left

好的，還剩兩個

are you fucking serious?!

你他媽是認真的嗎

the delay is what's getting me

剛剛的遲疑毀了我

I fucking had that!

我他媽已經按了！

there was no porn anywhere!

那裡已經沒有任何色色的東西了இдஇ

sometimes he picks stuff up

有時候他把東西拿起來

and then he stands over it looking at his crime

然後就站在那裡看著他犯下的罪行

looking at his shame on the floor

看著他在地上留下的羞赧痕跡

looking at those stains that people could clone him for 400 years

看著他那些可以讓人類無性繁殖400年的污漬

with all the fucking DNA he's spreading everywhere

用他到處散佈的天殺DNA

oh my god the game is fighting against me

噢天這遊戲根本針對我找碴

I'm gettin the porn stuff

我明明拿到色情的東西

I know where it is

我知道它在哪

I'm clicking it

我點它

but is he tidying it up in time?

但他會即時收拾好嗎？

NO!

不會！

he's just going to be fucking jizzing everywhere

他就只是他媽的到處留下精液

ITS FUCKING OVER

他媽的時間到了

mother gonna come in with a double barrel shotgun and shoot you in the face

媽媽會拿雙管霰彈槍來射你臉

different room, different room, different tatics

不同房間*2，不同策略

CLEAN UP THAT INTERNET HISTORY!

清除那歷史紀錄！

stop looking at all those fucking nuddie woman

不要再看那些他媽的裸女

and-on on those websites

上那些網站

or the nuddie men

或是裸男

I don't want to assume what you're into

我不想臆測你的喜好

you could be into lots of different things

你可能會有很多不同喜好

it coul- it might not even be men and women you're into

你的喜好可能不侷限於男人與女人

I'm talking about goats

我在說那些"性趣多元"的人

COME THE FUCK ON!

你他媽過來！

aw his fucking face

噢他天殺的臉

how am I supposed to clean up everything if the stuff I'm clicking on he doesn't actually fucking clean it up

為何我要在我點擊之後他卻啥都不幹的條件下收拾一切

look at this absolute garbage nonsense

看看這個顯然是毫無疑問的垃圾

come on dude

快點，老兄

I've-I'm

我有- 我

yo-you're making me look bad

你讓我看起來好糟:"(

I'm fucking awesome at cleaning up all the pornness

我對清理所有色情物超他媽在行

I fucking give up

我他媽放棄了

I give up on you

我放棄你了

as a fucking child

像個天殺的屁孩

here we go

來吧

now clean up the tissues

立刻清理那衛生紙

clean up the lotion

清理那乳液

clean up the kinky mag

收拾那色情雜誌

clean up that

收拾他！

there's one more thing

這裡還有一個東西

OHHHH! GET FUCKING SHOVED DOWN A PIPE

噢噢噢噢你最好被他媽的塞進水管裡(╬ﾟдﾟ)

and it quits the game

來退出遊戲

That's it

就這樣

I'm about to take out the big guns for this

我要為這款遊戲使出大絕招了

Imma take out the big guns for this and just get oh ho hooo

我要為這款遊戲使出大絕招了只要繼續喔吼吼齁

it's time to go back to 15 year old jackaboy days

該是回到15歲的Jack小弟的時候啦d(`･∀･)b

and

00:04:43,980 --> 00:04:45,600 喔耶，回想那些時光

oh yeah remember those times

回想那些快速舞動的時光

remember those times of speed jerking

試著不被任何人拘束

to try and not get caught by anybody

噢那些是

ooh those

那些是超他媽狂野的時代

those were rough fuckin times, man

超多水泡與膿瘡(黑歷史的意思?)

so many blisters and boils

好的

okay

這次我們進入辦公室

we're going into the office this time

現在我們換操作另一個角色

and we're playing as an older person now

我們是！

WE ARE!

是的

okay

我- 我們叫他混蛋

w-we call this the work jerk

當你在工作時打手槍，你是個摸魚混蛋(用jerk雙關)

when you jerk off at work, it's the work jerk

好多了

much better

這傢伙愚鈍的程度遠不及剛才那天殺的小孩

this guy is FAR less moronic than the fuckin child

即使他不是個真正的小孩

even though he's not really a child

你他媽過來

come the fuck on

我會被你的延遲搞死，先生

the delay is killin me, man

老闆會炒我魷魚，因為我上班打手槍

my boss is going to fire me for jerking off at work

而沒有賺進百萬的錢

and not making them millions of dollars

搞定

done

搞定

done, done

完成

did it

完成

did it

很完美，對吧？

that's good, right?

*拍*

*clap*

耶！

YES!

你老闆不會有點好奇嗎？為何他進來的時候你在那邊

isn't your boss kinda curious as to why he comes in you're like

耶！

YES!

你抓不到我！

you didn't catch me!

然而當你轉身，你的老二其實掛在外面

and then you turn around and your dick's actually hanging out

處境太他媽艱難了老兄

fucking rough times, man

好的

okay

來吧

here we go

呃

ah

污漬

stain

手機圖片

phone pics

媽的

mother of god

它不只是雜誌

it's not just the magazines

它不只是個平板

it's not just a tablet

時間甚至不夠讓我做這些

there's not even enough time to do this

他做事的速度和實際點擊東西時的延遲

with the speed he works at and the delay in actually clicking things

導致時間不足以真正把這裡所有東西都清乾淨

there's not enough time to actually clean up all the stuff that's here

這天殺的遊戲是怎樣

WHAT IS THIS FUCKING GAME?!

你認真的嗎？

are you serious?

我本來想藉由這影片 來炫耀我所有藏色情的高超技巧給大家看

I was about to show off all of my porn cleaning skills to everybody watching this video

結果怎麼樣了？你讓我看起來超糗 你讓我看起來像個天殺的- (☉д⊙)

and what's happening? You're making me look bad you're making me look like a fucking

那裡還有東西沒清欸

do- there was things left

那裡有很多東西沒清

there was lots of things left

怎麼回事？

what happened?

哈哈哈哈我他媽在不該贏的時候贏了

tahhahaha I'm fucking winning when I'm not supposed to be

你知道嗎？都是他媽的時間

you know it's about fucking time

那些圖片

the pictures

過來啊！

COME ON!

先收雜誌

and the magazines go first

這污漬和襪子以及所有一切可以解釋成- 我不知道

the stains and the socks and everything can be explained by- I dunno

我他媽乾洗的時候用了太多澱粉

over used starch in my fucking dry cleaning

我他媽放棄

I fucking give up

我放棄

I give up

我放棄

I give up

是怎樣

HOW

你為何在應該收拾一切的時候 站在映著他媽的色情圖片的手機上然後蛋蛋充血？

HOW IN THE BLUE BALLS ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO THIS when he stands over his fucking phone staring at the porn HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE CLEANING UP?!

我們走

there we go

我們走

there we go

我們走，黏黏的襪子

there we go, stiff sock

你最好去找你的腦袋掉在哪了，你這白痴

you might as well be looking for your brain you fuckin idiot

他就只是繞著圈轉，像這樣：「什什什麼 (ﾟ∀。) 」

he's just spinning around in circles like mwaaaaaaa

我要去哪(ﾟ∀。)

wHeRe Do I gO?

地上有啥東西嗎(ﾟ∀。)

wHaT's ThAt On ThE gRoUnD?!

那是色色的東西嗎(ﾟ∀。)

iS tHaT pOrN?!

從沒看過耶(ﾟ∀。)

nEvEr SeEn It BeForRe

好的

okay

認真清污漬

serious stains

我放棄

I give up

我他媽放棄

I fuckin give up

對你沒抱任何他媽的期望

there's no FUCKING hope for YOU

站在那就好

just stand here

只要站在那看著觀眾就好

just stand here and look at the audience

不- 看看人們的眼神

look-look no look at the people watching

然後告訴他們你是多麼的感到抱歉

and tell them how sorry you are

告訴他們！

TELL THEM!

羞愧的低下你的頭吧

hang your head in shame

KAY玩這個「隱藏色情」的遊戲會很厲害

KAY WELL THAT DOES IT for this game of Hide The Porn

我不知道我在期待什麼

I don't know what I was expecting

這好奇怪

this is so weird

這只是個讓我被迫看起來超蠢的遊戲

it was just something that looked so ridiculous that i had to get it

00:07:57,880 --> 00:07:58,720 這名字

um

基於

the-the name

這些表情，這些表情是這遊戲的賣點

the premise

XDDD

and then the faces, the faces are what sell it

他看起來像羅賓(動畫)和克里斯奧尼爾的臉的綜合體

hahahahahaha

加上瑞克與摩提(動畫)的眼睛

It looks like a-a mix between Robin's animations and like Chris O'Neil's faces that he puts on characters

XD

with the Rick and Morty eyes

太棒了

hahahaha

我要讓他待在這裡

it's awesome.

然後

I'm just going to let him stay here

讓他不斷被老闆抓包

and get

就是這樣，耶

and get caught by his boss constantly

感受你的羞恥心

there ya go yeah

因為你藏髒髒的速度不夠快

feel your shame

不要打手槍

for not being fast enough to hide the porn

上班不要打手槍

don't jerk it

除非你能找到空檔

don't jerk at work

雖然沒押韻，但住手

unless you can do the time

只是認真的呼籲一下

that- it doesn't rhyme, but it doesn't have to

總之

it's just a serious thing to talk about

非常謝謝你們觀賞這一集

ANYWAY

如果你喜歡，對著訂閱按鈕嚕管吧(ゝ∀･)b

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING THIS EPISODE

霸氣的嚕吧(ゝ∀･)b

IF YOU LIKED IT JERK THAT LIKE BUTTON IN THE FACE

然後上班不要打手槍

LIKE A BOSS

*啪**啪*

AND DON'T JERK AT WORK (More you know with JERKABOY)

謝謝你們

*wapoosh* *wapoosh*

我們會再見面的

But..... THANK YOU GUYS!!!

下個影片見！

AND I WILL SEE ALL YOU DUDES

片尾歌曲：TeknoAXE- I'm everywhere

IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!!!!!!

各位記得要負責任地打手槍喔(ゝ∀･)b

TeknoAXE- I'm everywhere (Outro)

Remember everybody, Jerk responsibly!! (More You Know With Jerkaboy#2)