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  • *WAPOOSH* TOP OF THE MORNING TO YA LADDIES

    *拍*祝你們有個最棒的早晨

  • My name is Jacksepticeye

    我的名字是Jacksepticeye

  • and welcome to a game called .....

    歡迎來到這款遊戲,名為

  • Hide The Porn >o

    Hide The Porn (隱藏色情)

  • We've all been there (some more than others Jack???)

    我們都做過這種事

  • We all know what it's like

    我們都懂的ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

  • You're browsing away on something

    你會去搜尋某些好東西ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

  • well this has like nuddie mags everywhere

    就像到處都有色情雜誌可看

  • which is not a fucking thing anymore

    (色情)已經氾濫了

  • I remember the days

    我還記得那天

  • you'd open up the newspaper and page 3 there'd

    你打開了報紙第三頁

  • be a big pair of boobs right there and you'd be like

    一對大奶子出現在你眼前

  • "oh my god" and then you'd be wondering

    你心想 "噢我的天" 然後開始想

  • "hmm.. I wonder how I can look at this whenever my family aren't around"

    「嗯我想要在家裡沒人的時候再來仔細看看這個」ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

  • oh god probably sharin a bit too much information

    噢天我可能有點透露得太多了

  • *laughs* XDDD

    (,,・ω・,,)

  • I never did the jerk off sock though >.>

    我從沒用襪子嚕過

  • just saying out right, right now because that sounds like the most painful thing ever

    只是想現在直接講出來而已, 因為對我來說,這聽起來像是前所未有最痛苦的事

  • to me

    我沒有這種性癖

  • um *laughing* ~(owo)~

    噢(๑´ㅁ`)

  • so kinda avoided that

    所以有點想避免它

  • oh we do have the internet right here

    噢我們可以在這裡上網

  • okay

    好的

  • so this is a game about you covering your tracks about watching porn

    所以這個遊戲內容是有關湮滅接觸色情的證據

  • um

  • I don't know why your fucking porn is all over the place

    我不知道為什麼你他媽要把證據弄得到處都是

  • anyway, but

    算了

  • Let's play bedroom first C:

    讓我們先從臥室開始玩吧

  • I wanna get a little bit intimate ;D

    我想先稍微熟悉一點

  • I wanna get into his bedroom and see what's going on (>*u*)>

    我想先進他房間看到底發生什麼事

  • okay do I actually have to click shit?

    好吧我真的得點擊這玩意嗎?

  • okay

    好的

  • hiding the sock

    藏起襪子

  • hide the used tissues

    藏起用過的衛生紙

  • okay

    好的

  • there are stains

    汙漬沾得

  • everywhere!

    到處都是

  • okay game cartridges that's not the thing

    好的遊戲主機不重要

  • hand lotion

    洗手液

  • he's fucking running in circles >0

    他天殺的就只會繞著圈跑

  • pick up your hand lotion!

    撿起你的洗手液!

  • internet history

    網頁歷史記錄

  • hide that shit

    藏起那些狗屎爛蛋

  • oh god he hid the whole fucking laptop o,o

    噢天他把整個筆電都藏起來了

  • that-that's good right?!

    看-看起來很好,對吧?

  • I don't think there's anything else

    我不覺得還有其他的漏掉

  • has that skateboard got to do with my porn? \(o.O)/

    那個滑板跟色情有關嗎

  • hopefu-what is his fucking face

    希望- 他那是什麼天殺的表情

  • *laughs* xDDD

    σ`∀´)σ

  • THE MOM'S ANGRY ANYWAY!!?

    反正媽媽在生氣

  • why did I even try?

    為什麼我甚至要試著收拾?

  • oh god we're fucking doing it again straight away

    噢天,我們馬上天殺的又再來一次

  • mother of god

    你他媽

  • you only have 30 seconds to do this?!?!

    你只有30秒可以清理

  • ok get rid of the jizz stains and the fucking lotion

    好來擺脫精液的汙漬和他媽的乳液

  • everything

    所有東西

  • used tissues

    用過的衛生紙

  • yes

  • yes

  • used tissues are everywhere

    到處都是用過的衛生紙

  • what is wrong with you dude?

    老兄你有什麼毛病啊

  • what're you just tissuing and jizzing all over the place?!

    為什麼你要把充滿精液的衛生紙到處亂丟

  • god you are going to fuck me up by running in circles like that. you know that? -.-

    天,你就繼續在那裡繞他媽的圈跑吧,你懂嗎

  • oh. OH. OH! Did I get it?

    噢。噢!噢!我成功了嗎?

  • barely any fucking seconds to spare

    幾乎沒有他媽剩下任何一秒的餘裕

  • Jesus Christ

    我的老天

  • This is like a-a porn crime scene

    這就像個犯罪現場

  • there's just shit everywhere

    到處充滿狗屎爛蛋

  • I had like no time to do that

    我根本沒時間去做

  • ha. HA!

    哈哈!

  • I am the best at hidin porn!

    我是最棒的湮滅色情證據高手!

  • years of practice my friends

    練就多年的成果,我的朋友

  • years of practice

    練就多年啊

  • okay

    好的

  • get ready, just keep clicking

    準備好繼續點擊了

  • keep clicking until stuff works

    點到東西開始運作為止

  • here we go

    來吧

  • here we go... yes

    來吧.....好欸

  • yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup

    耶耶耶耶耶耶耶

  • pick it up!

    撿起來!

  • fucks sake

    他媽的

  • I had it done

    我完成了

  • now you're watching the porn on the TV

    現在你看電視上的色情畫面

  • fucks sake, man

    去你的,老兄

  • okay, there's two more things left

    好的,還剩兩個

  • are you fucking serious?!

    你他媽是認真的嗎

  • the delay is what's getting me

    剛剛的遲疑毀了我

  • I fucking had that!

    我他媽已經按了!

  • there was no porn anywhere!

    那裡已經沒有任何色色的東西了இдஇ

  • sometimes he picks stuff up

    有時候他把東西拿起來

  • and then he stands over it looking at his crime

    然後就站在那裡看著他犯下的罪行

  • looking at his shame on the floor

    看著他在地上留下的羞赧痕跡

  • looking at those stains that people could clone him for 400 years

    看著他那些可以讓人類無性繁殖400年的污漬

  • with all the fucking DNA he's spreading everywhere

    用他到處散佈的天殺DNA

  • oh my god the game is fighting against me

    噢天這遊戲根本針對我找碴

  • I'm gettin the porn stuff

    我明明拿到色情的東西

  • I know where it is

    我知道它在哪

  • I'm clicking it

    我點它

  • but is he tidying it up in time?

    但他會即時收拾好嗎?

  • NO!

    不會!

  • he's just going to be fucking jizzing everywhere

    他就只是他媽的到處留下精液

  • ITS FUCKING OVER

    他媽的時間到了

  • mother gonna come in with a double barrel shotgun and shoot you in the face

    媽媽會拿雙管霰彈槍來射你臉

  • different room, different room, different tatics

    不同房間*2,不同策略

  • CLEAN UP THAT INTERNET HISTORY!

    清除那歷史紀錄!

  • stop looking at all those fucking nuddie woman

    不要再看那些他媽的裸女

  • and-on on those websites

    上那些網站

  • or the nuddie men

    或是裸男

  • I don't want to assume what you're into

    我不想臆測你的喜好

  • you could be into lots of different things

    你可能會有很多不同喜好

  • it coul- it might not even be men and women you're into

    你的喜好可能不侷限於男人與女人

  • I'm talking about goats

    我在說那些"性趣多元"的人

  • COME THE FUCK ON!

    你他媽過來!

  • aw his fucking face

    噢他天殺的臉

  • how am I supposed to clean up everything if the stuff I'm clicking on he doesn't actually fucking clean it up

    為何我要在我點擊之後他卻啥都不幹的條件下收拾一切

  • look at this absolute garbage nonsense

    看看這個顯然是毫無疑問的垃圾

  • come on dude

    快點,老兄

  • I've-I'm

    我有- 我

  • yo-you're making me look bad

    你讓我看起來好糟:"(

  • I'm fucking awesome at cleaning up all the pornness

    我對清理所有色情物超他媽在行

  • I fucking give up

    我他媽放棄了

  • I give up on you

    我放棄你了

  • as a fucking child

    像個天殺的屁孩

  • here we go

    來吧

  • now clean up the tissues

    立刻清理那衛生紙

  • clean up the lotion

    清理那乳液

  • clean up the kinky mag

    收拾那色情雜誌

  • clean up that

    收拾他!

  • there's one more thing

    這裡還有一個東西

  • OHHHH! GET FUCKING SHOVED DOWN A PIPE

    噢噢噢噢你最好被他媽的塞進水管裡(╬゚д゚)

  • and it quits the game

    來退出遊戲

  • That's it

    就這樣

  • I'm about to take out the big guns for this

    我要為這款遊戲使出大絕招了

  • Imma take out the big guns for this and just get oh ho hooo

    我要為這款遊戲使出大絕招了只要繼續喔吼吼齁

  • it's time to go back to 15 year old jackaboy days

    該是回到15歲的Jack小弟的時候啦d(`・∀・)b

  • and

    00:04:43,980 --> 00:04:45,600 喔耶,回想那些時光

  • oh yeah remember those times

    回想那些快速舞動的時光

  • remember those times of speed jerking

    試著不被任何人拘束

  • to try and not get caught by anybody

    噢那些是

  • ooh those

    那些是超他媽狂野的時代

  • those were rough fuckin times, man

    超多水泡與膿瘡(黑歷史的意思?)

  • so many blisters and boils

    好的

  • okay

    這次我們進入辦公室

  • we're going into the office this time

    現在我們換操作另一個角色

  • and we're playing as an older person now

    我們是!

  • WE ARE!

    是的

  • okay

    我- 我們叫他混蛋

  • w-we call this the work jerk

    當你在工作時打手槍,你是個摸魚混蛋(用jerk雙關)

  • when you jerk off at work, it's the work jerk

    好多了

  • much better

    這傢伙愚鈍的程度遠不及剛才那天殺的小孩

  • this guy is FAR less moronic than the fuckin child

    即使他不是個真正的小孩

  • even though he's not really a child

    你他媽過來

  • come the fuck on

    我會被你的延遲搞死,先生

  • the delay is killin me, man

    老闆會炒我魷魚,因為我上班打手槍

  • my boss is going to fire me for jerking off at work

    而沒有賺進百萬的錢

  • and not making them millions of dollars

    搞定

  • done

    搞定

  • done, done

    完成

  • did it

    完成

  • did it

    很完美,對吧?

  • that's good, right?

    *拍*

  • *clap*

    耶!

  • YES!

    你老闆不會有點好奇嗎?為何他進來的時候你在那邊

  • isn't your boss kinda curious as to why he comes in you're like

    耶!

  • YES!

    你抓不到我!

  • you didn't catch me!

    然而當你轉身,你的老二其實掛在外面

  • and then you turn around and your dick's actually hanging out

    處境太他媽艱難了老兄

  • fucking rough times, man

    好的

  • okay

    來吧

  • here we go

  • ah

    污漬

  • stain

    手機圖片

  • phone pics

    媽的

  • mother of god

    它不只是雜誌

  • it's not just the magazines

    它不只是個平板

  • it's not just a tablet

    時間甚至不夠讓我做這些

  • there's not even enough time to do this

    他做事的速度和實際點擊東西時的延遲

  • with the speed he works at and the delay in actually clicking things

    導致時間不足以真正把這裡所有東西都清乾淨

  • there's not enough time to actually clean up all the stuff that's here

    這天殺的遊戲是怎樣

  • WHAT IS THIS FUCKING GAME?!

    你認真的嗎?

  • are you serious?

    我本來想藉由這影片 來炫耀我所有藏色情的高超技巧給大家看

  • I was about to show off all of my porn cleaning skills to everybody watching this video

    結果怎麼樣了?你讓我看起來超糗 你讓我看起來像個天殺的- (☉д⊙)

  • and what's happening? You're making me look bad you're making me look like a fucking

    那裡還有東西沒清欸

  • do- there was things left

    那裡有很多東西沒清

  • there was lots of things left

    怎麼回事?

  • what happened?

    哈哈哈哈我他媽在不該贏的時候贏了

  • tahhahaha I'm fucking winning when I'm not supposed to be

    你知道嗎?都是他媽的時間

  • you know it's about fucking time

    那些圖片

  • the pictures

    過來啊!

  • COME ON!

    先收雜誌

  • and the magazines go first

    這污漬和襪子以及所有一切可以解釋成- 我不知道

  • the stains and the socks and everything can be explained by- I dunno

    我他媽乾洗的時候用了太多澱粉

  • over used starch in my fucking dry cleaning

    我他媽放棄

  • I fucking give up

    我放棄

  • I give up

    我放棄

  • I give up

    是怎樣

  • HOW

    你為何在應該收拾一切的時候 站在映著他媽的色情圖片的手機上然後蛋蛋充血?

  • HOW IN THE BLUE BALLS ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO THIS when he stands over his fucking phone staring at the porn HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE CLEANING UP?!

    我們走

  • there we go

    我們走

  • there we go

    我們走,黏黏的襪子

  • there we go, stiff sock

    你最好去找你的腦袋掉在哪了,你這白痴

  • you might as well be looking for your brain you fuckin idiot

    他就只是繞著圈轉,像這樣:「什什什麼 (゚∀。) 」

  • he's just spinning around in circles like mwaaaaaaa

    我要去哪(゚∀。)

  • wHeRe Do I gO?

    地上有啥東西嗎(゚∀。)

  • wHaT's ThAt On ThE gRoUnD?!

    那是色色的東西嗎(゚∀。)

  • iS tHaT pOrN?!

    從沒看過耶(゚∀。)

  • nEvEr SeEn It BeForRe

    好的

  • okay

    認真清污漬

  • serious stains

    我放棄

  • I give up

    我他媽放棄

  • I fuckin give up

    對你沒抱任何他媽的期望

  • there's no FUCKING hope for YOU

    站在那就好

  • just stand here

    只要站在那看著觀眾就好

  • just stand here and look at the audience

    不- 看看人們的眼神

  • look-look no look at the people watching

    然後告訴他們你是多麼的感到抱歉

  • and tell them how sorry you are

    告訴他們!

  • TELL THEM!

    羞愧的低下你的頭吧

  • hang your head in shame

    KAY玩這個「隱藏色情」的遊戲會很厲害

  • KAY WELL THAT DOES IT for this game of Hide The Porn

    我不知道我在期待什麼

  • I don't know what I was expecting

    這好奇怪

  • this is so weird

    這只是個讓我被迫看起來超蠢的遊戲

  • it was just something that looked so ridiculous that i had to get it

    00:07:57,880 --> 00:07:58,720 這名字

  • um

    基於

  • the-the name

    這些表情,這些表情是這遊戲的賣點

  • the premise

    XDDD

  • and then the faces, the faces are what sell it

    他看起來像羅賓(動畫)和克里斯奧尼爾的臉的綜合體

  • hahahahahaha

    加上瑞克與摩提(動畫)的眼睛

  • It looks like a-a mix between Robin's animations and like Chris O'Neil's faces that he puts on characters

    XD

  • with the Rick and Morty eyes

    太棒了

  • hahahaha

    我要讓他待在這裡

  • it's awesome.

    然後

  • I'm just going to let him stay here

    讓他不斷被老闆抓包

  • and get

    就是這樣,耶

  • and get caught by his boss constantly

    感受你的羞恥心

  • there ya go yeah

    因為你藏髒髒的速度不夠快

  • feel your shame

    不要打手槍

  • for not being fast enough to hide the porn

    上班不要打手槍

  • don't jerk it

    除非你能找到空檔

  • don't jerk at work

    雖然沒押韻,但住手

  • unless you can do the time

    只是認真的呼籲一下

  • that- it doesn't rhyme, but it doesn't have to

    總之

  • it's just a serious thing to talk about

    非常謝謝你們觀賞這一集

  • ANYWAY

    如果你喜歡,對著訂閱按鈕嚕管吧(ゝ∀・)b

  • THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING THIS EPISODE

    霸氣的嚕吧(ゝ∀・)b

  • IF YOU LIKED IT JERK THAT LIKE BUTTON IN THE FACE

    然後上班不要打手槍

  • LIKE A BOSS

    *啪**啪*

  • AND DON'T JERK AT WORK (More you know with JERKABOY)

    謝謝你們

  • *wapoosh* *wapoosh*

    我們會再見面的

  • But..... THANK YOU GUYS!!!

    下個影片見!

  • AND I WILL SEE ALL YOU DUDES

    片尾歌曲:TeknoAXE- I'm everywhere

  • IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!!!!!!

    各位記得要負責任地打手槍喔(ゝ∀・)b

  • TeknoAXE- I'm everywhere (Outro)

  • Remember everybody, Jerk responsibly!! (More You Know With Jerkaboy#2)

*WAPOOSH* TOP OF THE MORNING TO YA LADDIES

*拍*祝你們有個最棒的早晨

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