have to explain how much – at certain points – we need to be alone. We may try to pass

在表達獨處的需求時，會感到異常彆扭。於是你把這種渴望

off our desire as something work-related: people generally understand a need to finish

以工作需求為理由：因為大多人都能理解。

off a project. But in truth, it's a far less respectable and more profound desire

事實上，獨處的意涵更加令人敬畏且深奧

that is driving us on: unless we are alone, we are at risk of forgetting who we are. We,

不斷驅使我們前進，如果沒有獨處，人將迷失自我。

the ones who are asphyxiated without periods by ourselves, take other people very seriously

不斷前進卻不回頭思考，終將把自己逼死。反之，太在乎其他人

– perhaps more seriously than those in the uncomplicated ranks of the endlessly gregarious.

有時，眾人想法更勝過自己。

We listen closely to stories, we give ourselves to others, we respond with emotion and empathy.

我們傾聽他人故事、將自己奉獻出，並答以情感上的關愛。

But as a result, we cannot keep swimming in company indefinitely. At a certain point,

終究，人必須學會獨處。某方面來說

we have had enough of conversations that take us away from our own thought processes, enough

他人的意見繁多，足以淹沒自己意念。

of external demands that stop us heeding our inner tremors, enough of the pressure for

外在聲音足以蓋過內心不安，群眾聲音

superficial cheerfulness that denies the legitimacy of our latent inner melancholy – and enough

足以忽視自己內心深處的憂鬱，足以

of robust common-sense that flattens our peculiarities and less well-charted appetites. We need to

合理化內心所有不安情緒。人需要獨處

be alone because life among other people unfolds too quickly. The pace is relentless: the jokes,

因為我們無法顧及所有人。這是永無止盡的旅途：生命中的意外驚喜

the insights, the excitements. There can sometimes be enough in five minutes of social life to

深入剖析、與刺激事物。有時，一件小小的事，卻足以

take up an hour of analysis. It is a quirk of our minds that not every emotion that impacts

令人反覆深思。有趣的是，我們或許並未

us is at once fully acknowledged, understood or even – as it were – truly felt. After

全然了解情緒，真真正正感受它的存在。

time among others, there are a myriad of sensations that exist in an 'unprocessed' form within

和他人想處後，發現內心有許多情緒並未「消化」。

us. Perhaps an idea that someone raised made us anxious, prompting inchoate impulses for

或許有些人會使你焦躁不安、啟發新知

changes in our lives. Perhaps an anecdote sparked off an envious ambition that is worth

並改變人生方向。或許在獨處時，內心的雄心壯志就在這時

decoding and listening to in order to grow. Maybe someone subtly fired an aggressive dart

萌芽並決定開始實踐。或是當他人在背後暗傷

at us, and we haven't had the chance to realise we are hurt. We need some quiet time

內心淌血卻渾然不覺。人都需要獨處時間

to console ourselves by formulating an explanation of where the nastiness might have come from.

深入剖析、處理內心的種種惱人情緒。

We are more vulnerable and tender-skinned than we're encouraged to imagine. By retreating

我們人往往比自己想得更脆弱。深入反思自己

into ourselves, it looks as if we are the enemies of others, but our solitary moments

獨處像是和社會唱反調，事實上，獨處是為了

are in reality a homage to the richness of social existence. Unless we've had time

社會化的最高層次。我們必須獨處

alone, we can't be who we would like to be around our fellow humans. We won't have

否則將無法活出自我。我們將沒有

original opinions. We won't have lively and authentic perspectives. We'll be – in

自我意識、將沒有真實的觀點。以至每個人

the wrong way – a bit like everyone else. We're drawn to solitude not because we despise

毫無特別之處。人嚮往獨處，並非唾棄

humanity but because we are properly responsive to what the company of others entails. Extensive

人性，而是適當回應對他人的需要。獨處或許還有一個好處

stretches of being alone may in reality be a precondition for knowing how to be a better

就是了解自己，成為他人更好的

friend and a properly attentive companion. Our Calm prompt cards can help us to find

朋友、成為更細心的同伴。我們的「平靜提示卡」，有助尋找一絲寧靜

serenity despite daily anxieties and frustrations, to find out more, click on the link now.

在日常焦慮與失望中解脫。更多資訊，請點擊以下連結。