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  • EDDIE HUANG: Yeah, definitely.

  • We both want to get high.

  • Betel nut, bing lang, is an amphetamine you get up.

  • It's tingly.

  • I remember the first time I ate chewing tobacco, I drank a

  • half bottle of Stoli and then puked all over this chick on

  • family day at the University of Pittsburgh.

  • So I hope this doesn't end the same way.

  • -Eddie Huang.

  • DAVID: They lost our tripod, so we might have to

  • rent one out here.

  • EDDIE HUANG: We haven't been here an hour and the dude

  • already got jacked.

  • It's not looking good.

  • This dude's doing calisthenics with a strap-on.

  • OK, George, I will tell you when we see a good one.

  • All right, pull up, George, I'm going to open my door.

  • Hello, hallelujah, holla back, women like a bing lang.

  • -Bing lang.

  • EDDIE HUANG: Good.

  • Uh-huh.

  • Yes.

  • The most famous Taiwan marketing retail shit is betel

  • nut beauties, all right?

  • Betel nut is a very popular amphetamine and it's like a

  • kind of chewing tobacco, but it gets you really up.

  • It's very popular all throughout Asia, but Taiwan is

  • famous for betel nut beauties.

  • And I mean, we don't really have a beauty here.

  • This one clearly has seen better days, b.

  • So they take rice wine and they put other things, like

  • amphetamines that'll get you up, get you excited, and

  • everybody has their own little mixture.

  • And the trick with the betel nut is, you've got to, just

  • like this, bite the top off.

  • You want to chew, and you want to spit out the first, right?

  • Just like you're cooking.

  • Throw out the first.

  • And then you just chew it.

  • It's like chewing tobacco.

  • It kinda just gets you zooming.

  • I try not to do it too much because, as you can see,

  • George, come here, smile George.

  • See?

  • Before, after.

  • [LAUGH]

  • I'm a kidnap her, feed her to my mattress.

  • Thank you.

  • [SPEAKING CHINESE].

  • -Bye-bye.

  • EDDIE HUANG: Bye-bye.

  • Wait, didn't we already cop from this shorty?

  • Oh watch out, be careful, be careful.

  • They will run you over, b.

  • This is one of many night markets in Taiwan, but Shilin

  • is definitely the most famous.

  • Yo, this is the always imitated, never duplicated Hot

  • Star large fried chicken, all right?

  • You'll see they put a little seasoning on here.

  • There's chili powder, there's a little five spice, salt and

  • sugar, here we go.

  • Listen.

  • Listen to this sound.

  • It's Like Rice Krispies.

  • Super crispy and they're real juicy, bursting, with juice,

  • and then that seasoning--

  • you just smell it, it's crazy.

  • Hot Star.

  • So this is a sausage stuffed with sticky rice.

  • Sometimes they'll put shiitake mushrooms, some shallots, and

  • he's wiping it with a sweet soy then he just came with

  • some pickled radish over there.

  • Then there's some more pickled [SPEAKING CHINESE]

  • that we had earlier today.

  • [BURP]

  • Excuse me.

  • Cucumbers shredded, and then a Taiwanese red sausage.

  • Sausage in a sausage.

  • It's like eating a sausage with a sticky rice condom on.

  • And you enjoy it a lot more than you would think.

  • EDDIE HUANG: Ice.

  • GEORGE: Ice.

  • EDDIE HUANG: Penis ice.

  • Penis ice.

  • You like to put it in your mouth.

  • [LAUGH]

  • I'd say top five most popular Taiwanese night market foods,

  • this called a [SPEAKING CHINESE].

  • They use the funkiness of the bamboo, the essence of the

  • pork, some shiitake mushrooms, some shallots, and they'll

  • make a ground meat mixture.

  • In that big mixing bowl is the starch mixture.

  • Then they'll put the filling in.

  • Once it's filled, it's shaped.

  • Once it's shaped, it goes here and steamed, then topped with

  • the sauce over there.

  • Sometimes people do a little sweet chili too.

  • The thing about Asian food that always bugs Westerners

  • out-- savory foods with a gelatinous texture.

  • This is probably like the boogieman food to an American

  • and Western palate.

  • But I love this.

  • And it's the quintessential Taiwanese flavor.

  • Yo, mega pause.

  • Giant waffle dills.

  • You can give to your friends.

  • And you can scare your friends.

  • And you can take it to the party.

  • And you will be the focus of the party because you brought

  • a box, a $10 box, of penis waffles.

  • What better present to, like, a baby shower?

  • Hey ma, what's really good?

  • We've got the Plaxico Burress here.

  • We've got the Dhani Jones.

  • We've got the Victor Cruz.

  • We've got the Lawrence Tynes.

  • We've got the Eli Manning.

  • Yo, look at shorty here.

  • How could you get yourself caught wide open like this?

  • Who volunteers themselves for these photos?

  • Oh my god, this is the Lexington Steele chocolate

  • crazy crispy dills.

  • Oh my god.

  • [LAUGH]

  • I'm not eating this because you would have to lick this.

  • You would have to suck this.

  • -Ice dicks?

  • EDDIE HUANG: No!

  • [LAUGH]

  • Oh.

  • DAVID: Eddie look, though, check it out.

  • Check it out.

  • There's nuts in the nuts.

  • EDDIE HUANG: I can't do it, dude.

  • DAVID: You can't do it.

  • EDDIE HUANG: I can't.

  • DAVID: You can't?

  • EDDIE HUANG: My grandpa would be so disappointed.

  • Who is this?

  • Who is this?

  • DAVID: [LAUGH]

  • EDDIE HUANG: Yo, wait, you put it in your mouth.

  • We've got the handcuffs on you, Alcatraz.

  • Here, hey, G's up, frozen dills down.

  • [LAUGH]

  • Only in Taiwan will you find a penis waffle

  • stand with the tagline--

  • a piece of [FOREIGN LANGUAGE].

  • I don't know what else to say about Taiwan.

  • I don't know what to say about the night market.

  • I think this dick in a box that says it all.

  • Fresh off the Boat, one chain, two dills.

  • I'm Eddie Huang, we out.

  • What just happened, b?

  • Why is everybody looking at me?

  • Is there some shit on my face?

  • So yo, it's like after midnight.

  • You wasted.

  • You just came out of the club.

  • You didn't catch any tang.

  • So where would you and your homies go?

  • Not the bar.

  • Not nobody's crib to do some blow.

  • We at the hottest spot in fucking Taiwan--

  • 24-hour motherfucking shrimp city, b.

  • Let's go.

  • You've got a little Whack-a-Mole, Jigpa.

  • You've got some Hot Shot.

  • A peep game over here.

  • Grab a beer, go shrimping, all right?

  • This could be like the Soho House except, instead of

  • shorties in the pool, you've got shrimps.

  • Got 'em.

  • It was the one-armed man.

  • -[SPEAKING CHINESE]

  • EDDIE HUANG: Oh, man.

  • Dude, that shrimp squirted me.

  • In the world of sport fishing, this is like shrimp hookers.

  • You pay to play.

  • There's no game.

  • You put your fucking dick in the water.

  • You catch skrimps.

  • Chef, how many more minutes?

  • Chef says we can eat it.

  • I'm just curious if this is a good look, to be eating shrimp

  • out of that pool.

  • It's kind of like the baths that I used to catch in golf

  • course ponds.

  • Ooh, look at that.

  • So you look around at this fucking 24-hour shrimp club--

  • a lot of long faces, a couple of SARS masks, a

  • lot of single dudes.

  • There's one shorty.

  • This has got to be one of the most depressing places to

  • spend an evening.

  • When we're not here people probably put their

  • feet in this shit.

  • It smells like a hot spring.

  • I have no idea what's-- this water is mother fucking green,

  • and there's no vegetation.

  • You really, probably, should not be eating these skrimps.

  • I feel like this for show and for sport, but then there's

  • not much sport to it, either.

  • And on that note, we motherfucking out.

  • Fresh off the Boat with Eddie Huang, Taiwan.

  • Peace.

  • -On the next episode of Fresh off the Boat.

EDDIE HUANG: Yeah, definitely.

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台灣特色文化:檳榔、夜市、釣蝦 Fresh Off The Boat With Eddie Huang: Taiwan (Part 1/3)

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    ABbla Chung 發佈於 2013 年 09 月 14 日
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