Name: 【TED】蘇傑伊-約翰遜：我們不教孩子的性知識（What we don't teach kids about sex | 蘇傑伊-約翰遜）。 (【TED】Sue Jaye Johnson: What we don't teach kids about sex (What we don't teach kids about sex | Sue Jaye Johnson))
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T07:30:31.000Z
Duration: 7 min 20 s

I remember my aunt brushing my hair when I was a child.

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: NAN-KUN WU

我還記得小時候， 姑姑幫我梳頭髮。

stroking my hair with a fine-bristled brush.

Do you have a memory like that that you can feel in your body right now?

用鬃毛梳一下 又一下梳著我的頭髮。

你有沒有像這樣的記憶， 到現在還讓你記憶猶新？

to differentiate ourselves in the world -- through touch.

孩提時代，我們用觸摸 界定自己在世上的位置

Everything goes in the mouth, the hands, on the skin.

把東西放進嘴裡、 抓在手上，或用皮膚去感覺。

it is the way that we first experience love.

We want our children to grow up to have healthy intimate relationships.

我們希望我們的孩子長大後 能有健康、親密的關係。

one of the things that we do is we teach our children about sex.

我們會做的其中一件事就是 教我們的孩子關於性愛的知識。

有色情書刊影片來填補中間的缺口，

We teach our children "the talk" about biology and mechanics,

我們教我們孩子的「那場談話」， 是關於生物的做法的，

and that's what our kids grow up thinking that sex is pretty much all about.

在成長過程中，孩子大概就會 認定性愛就是全部了。

We can teach our sons and daughters about pleasure and desire,

我們能教導我們的兒子女兒 了解愉悅和慾望，

about what it feels like to be present in their body

And we do that in the ways that we model touch, play,

而我們的做法是， 我們會模仿觸摸、玩樂、

all the ways that we engage their senses.

We can teach our children not just about sex,

This is the kind of talk that I needed as a girl.

The shame of boys mocking my changing body

男孩們取笑我身體的改變， 讓我感到羞恥，

I didn't have any language for what I was experiencing;

我無法用言語形容 我當時所體驗到的；

So I did the best thing I could at the time

所以我做了當時我能做的最佳決策，

And you can't isolate just the difficult feelings,

你不能只把難過的感受分離開來，

so I lost access to the joy, the pleasure, the play,

所以我也失去了樂趣、愉悅、玩樂，

thinking that this is what it meant to be a grown-up.

想著，原來當大人就是這麼一回事。

I've been interviewing men and women about their relationship to sex

我訪談了很多男男女女， 談他們和性愛的關係，

Girls who were told they were too sensitive, too much.

女孩們被別人說是太敏感、太過頭。

男孩被別人教導要有男子氣概－

I learned I was not alone in checking out.

我發現，我不是唯一逃避的人。

It was my daughter who reminded me of how much I used to feel.

是我女兒提醒了我， 讓我想起我以前的感受多深。

put in the calendar, "Day at the beach with the girls."

在日曆上記著 「和女孩去海灘的日子」。

I laid our towels down just out of reach of the surf

我把我們的毛巾放在 海浪剛好沖不到的地方，

I saw my daughter drizzling sand on her arm like this,

我看到我女兒把沙子 這樣灑在她的手臂上，

and I could feel that light tickle of sand on her skin

我可以感覺到她的皮膚因為 沙子造成輕微癢癢的感受，

and I remembered my aunt brushing my hair.

接著我就想起了我的姑姑幫我梳頭。

and I drizzled sand on her other arm and then her legs.

我把沙子灑到她的另一隻手臂上， 接著是她的雙腿上。

And then I said, "Hey, you want me to bury you?"

接著，我說：「嘿， 你想要我把你埋起來嗎？」

And her eyes got really big and she was like, "Yeah!"

她的眼睛睜得好大，說：「好啊！」

And then I took her home and lathered her up in the shower

「啊，每天我日復一日這麼做－

but had I ever stopped and paid attention

to the sensations that I was creating for her?"

I'd been treating her like she was on some assembly line

我對待她的方式， 彷彿她正在一條裝配線上，

of children needing to be fed and put to bed.

需要被餵飽送上床 睡覺的孩子的裝配線。

that when I dry my daughter off in a towel tenderly the way a lover would,

當我像情人般溫柔地 用毛巾把我女兒擦乾時，

I'm teaching her to expect that kind of touch.

我就是教導她去期待那樣子的觸碰。

I'm teaching her in that moment about intimacy.

在那一刻，我在教導她什麼是親密。

About how to love her body and respect her body.

教導她如何去愛、去尊敬她的身體。

I realized there are parts of the talk that can't be conveyed in words.

我了解到，「那場談話」 有一部份是無法用文字傳達的。

叫「女孩與性」，在書中，她發現

that young women are focusing on their partner's pleasure,

年輕女性會把焦點 放在讓伴侶愉悅上，

This is something I'm going to talk about with my girls when they're older,

當女兒們再大一些時， 我會想要和她們談，

【TED】蘇傑伊-約翰遜：我們不教孩子的性知識（What we don't teach kids about sex | 蘇傑伊-約翰遜）。 (【TED】Sue Jaye Johnson: What we don't teach kids about sex (What we don't teach kids about sex | Sue Jaye Johnson))

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【TED】蘇傑伊-約翰遜：我們不教孩子的性知識（What we don't teach kids about sex | 蘇傑伊-約翰遜）。 (【TED】Sue Jaye Johnson: What we don't teach kids about sex (What we don't teach kids about sex | Sue Jaye Johnson))

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