Sometimes these moments are joyous,

亞辛卡米薩：我們人類在一生中 有許多決定性的關鍵時刻。

and sometimes they are heartbreaking,

有時，這些時刻是喜悅的，

tragic.

有時，它們是讓人心碎的、

But at these defining moments, if we are able to make the right choice,

悲劇性的。

we literally manifest a miracle

但在這些關鍵時刻， 如果我們能做出對的選擇，

in us and others.

我們就可說是創造出了一個奇蹟，

My only son Tariq, a university student,

在我們心中，也在他人心中的奇蹟。

kind, generous, a good writer, a good photographer,

我的獨子塔瑞克是個大學生，

had aspirations to work for National Geographic,

是個仁慈、慷慨的 優秀作家及優秀攝影師，

engaged to a beautiful lady,

他的志向是要為國家地理雜誌工作，

worked as a pizza deliveryman on Fridays and Saturdays.

他和一位美麗女子訂婚，

He was lured to a bogus address

在星期五和星期六兼差做比薩外送。

by a youth gang.

他被一個年輕人幫派 誘騙到一個假地址。

And in a gang initiation,

在幫派入會儀式中，

a 14-year-old shot and killed him.

一個 14 歲的孩子射殺了他。

The sudden, senseless death

這突然發生又無意義的死亡，

of an innocent, unarmed human being;

帶走了一個無辜且手無寸鐵的人；

the overwhelming grief of a family;

造成一個家庭無法言喻的悲傷；

the total confusion as you try to absorb a new, hideous reality.

當你試圖理解這個驚駭的新現實時， 感到的是完全的困惑。

Needless to say it brought my life to a crashing halt.

更不用說，我的人生因而崩毀、停止。

One of the hardest things I've ever had to do

我所做過最困難的一件事，

was to call his mother, who lived in a different city.

就是打電話告訴孩子的母親， 她住在另一個城市。

How do you tell a mother she's never going to see her son again,

你要如何告訴一位母親， 她永遠無法再見到她的兒子、

or hear him laugh,

無法再聽到他的笑聲、

or give him a hug?

無法再擁抱他？

I practice as a Sufi Muslim.

我是蘇菲派穆斯林。

I meditate two hours a day.

我一天會做兩小時的冥想。

And sometimes,

有時候，

in deep trauma and deep tragedy,

當創傷很深、悲慟很深時，

there is a spark of clarity.

會有一絲清明出現。

So what I downloaded in my meditation

所以，我在冥想中所下載下來的是

is that there were victims at both ends of the gun.

在那把槍的兩端都有受害者。

It's easy to see that my son was a victim of the 14-year-old,

很容易看出，我兒子是那位 14 歲孩子手下的受害者，

a little bit complicated to see that he was a victim of American society.

比較難看出，那位 14 歲孩子 是美國社會的受害者。

And that begs the question, well, who is American society?

這就帶到了一個問題， 誰是美國社會？

Well, it's you and me,

嗯，就是你和我，

because I don't believe that society is just happenstance.

因為我不相信社會只是偶然。

I think we are all responsible for the society we've created.

我認為，對於我們所創造 出來的社會，我們都有責任。

And children killing children is not a mark of a civil society.

孩子殺害孩子， 這並不是文明社會的常態。

So nine months after Tariq died,

塔瑞克過世後九個月，

I started the Tariq Khamisa Foundation

我成立了塔瑞克卡米薩基金會，

and our mandate at the Tariq Khamisa Foundation

塔瑞克卡米薩基金會的使命，

is to stop kids from killing kids

就是要阻止孩子殺害孩子，

by breaking the cycle of youth violence.

我們要打破年輕人暴力的循環。

And essentially we have three mandates.

基本上，我們有三項使命。

Our first and foremost is to save lives of children.

第一項且最重要的一項， 是要拯救孩子的性命。

It's important to do. We lose so many on a daily basis.

做這件事很重要。 我們每天都失去好多孩子。

Our second mandate

我們的第二項使命，

is to empower the right choices so kids don't fall through the cracks

是要讓孩子們能做出對的選擇， 這麼一來，他們才不會因為被忽略

and choose lives of gangs and crime and drugs and alcohol and weapons.

而去選擇幫派、犯罪、 毒品、酒精，及武器的生活。

And our third mandate is to teach the principles of nonviolence,

我們的第三項使命， 是要教導不使用暴力的原則，

of empathy, of compassion,

要用同理心、同情心，

of forgiveness.

以及寬恕待人。

And I started with a very simple premise

我從非常簡單的前提假設開始：

that violence is a learned behavior.

暴力是一種習得的行為。

No child was born violent.

沒有孩子是生來就暴力的。

If you accept that as a truism,

如果你能接受這是個自明之理，

nonviolence can also be a learned behavior,

那麼不使用暴力也可以 是一種習得的行為，

but you have to teach it,

但這件事得用教導的，

because kids are not going to learn that

因為孩子並不會 透過潛移默化就學會。

through osmosis.

沒多久之後，我向我兄弟伸出手，

Soon after that, I reached out to my brother here,

我的態度是，我們都失去了一個兒子。

with the attitude that we had both lost a son.

我的兒子死了。

My son died.

他因為成人監獄體系 而失去了他的孫子。

He lost his grandson to the adult prison system.

我邀請他加入我。

And I asked him to join me.

如你們所見，22 年後， 我們還一起在這裡。

As you see, 22 years later, we are still here together,

因為我無法讓塔瑞克起死回生，

because I can't bring Tariq back from the dead,

你無法把東尼帶出監獄，

you can't take Tony out of prison,

但我們能做一件事，

but the one thing we can do

就是確保我們的社區中 沒有其他年輕人

is make sure no other young people in our community

最後的下場是死亡或入獄。

end up dead or end up in prison.

感謝上帝的慈悲，

With the grace of God,

塔瑞克卡米薩基金會一直很成功。

the Tariq Khamisa Foundation has been successful.

我們有一個安全學校模型，

We have a safe school model

該模型有四個不同的計畫。

which has four different programs.

第一，普雷斯和我去現場參與集會。

The first one is a live assembly with Ples and me.

主持人會介紹，

We are introduced,

這個人的孫子殺了這個人的兒子，

this man's grandson killed this man's son,

而他們一起來到這裡。

and here they are together.

我們有在教室內進行的課程。

We have in-classroom curriculum.

我們有課後的指導計畫， 還創立了一個和平俱樂部。

We have an after school mentoring program, and we create a peace club.

我很高興能和你們分享，

And I'm happy to share with you

除了教導這些不使用暴力的原則，

that besides teaching these principles of nonviolence,

我們還能夠把休學和退學減少 70%，

we are able to cut suspensions and expulsions by 70 percent,

這數字很大。

which is huge.

（掌聲）

(Applause)

這數字很大。

Which is huge.

塔瑞克過世後五年，

Five years after Tariq died,

為了完成我的寬恕之旅，

and for me to complete my journey of forgiveness,

我去探望殺害我兒子的年輕人。

I went to see the young man who killed my son.

他那時 19 歲。

He was 19 years old.

我記得那次會面，因為我們……

And I remember that meeting because we were --

他現在 37 歲，仍然在監獄，

he's 37, still in prison --

但在第一次會面時， 我們四目相對看著彼此。

but at that first meeting, we locked eyeballs.

我看著他的雙眼，他看著我的雙眼，

I'm looking in his eyes, he's looking in my eyes,

我看著他的雙眼，試圖找到 一個殺人兇手，但我沒找到。

and I'm looking in his eyes trying to find a murderer, and I didn't.

我能夠越過他的眼睛，

I was able to climb through his eyes

接觸到他的人性，讓我了解到，

and touch his humanity that I got

他內在的火花 和我內在的火花並沒有不同，

that the spark in him was no different than the spark in me

和在座各位也沒有不同。

or anybody else here.

這是我沒有預料到的。他感到後悔。

So I wasn't expecting that. He was remorseful.

他表達能力很好。他很有禮貌。

He was articulate. He was well-mannered.

我能看得出來，我的寬恕改變了他。

And I could tell that my hand of forgiveness had changed him.

所以，說到此，讓我們 歡迎我的兄弟，普雷斯。

So with that, please welcome my brother, Ples.

（掌聲）

(Applause)

普雷斯菲利克斯： 東尼是我的獨女的獨子。

Ples Felix: Tony is my one and only daughter's one and only child.

東尼是我的女兒所生的。

Tony was born to my daughter,

她生東尼的時候才 15 歲。

who was 15 when she gave birth to Tony.

當母親，是地球上最困難的工作。

Mothering is the toughest job on the planet.

在地球上，最困難的工作 莫過於養育另一個人，

There is no tougher job on the planet than raising another human being

並確保他的安全、安穩，

and making sure they're safe, secure

並做好準備能在人生當中成功。

and well-positioned to be successful in life.

東尼小時候就經歷過許多暴力場面。

Tony experienced a lot of violence in his life as a young kid.

他看著他最喜歡的一位表親

He saw one of his favorite cousins

在自動武器槍擊事件中被謀殺，

be murdered in a hail of automatic weapon fire

那個事件有幫派涉入， 地點是在洛杉磯。

and gang involvement in Los Angeles.

他在許多方面都受到嚴重創傷。

He was very traumatized in so many different ways.

東尼之後來跟我住，

Tony came to live with me.

我想要確保他能得到 邁向成功所需要的一切。

I wanted to make sure he had everything a kid needed

但就在這個夜晚，

to be successful.

當時他已跟我同住數年

But on this particular evening,

並非常努力試著要成功，

after years of being with me

想達到他母親的期許， 成為成功的人，

and struggling mightily to try to be successful

就在這一天，東尼在晚上離家，

and to live up to my expectations of being a successful person,

他去找他認為是朋友的那些人，

on this one particular day, Tony ran away from home that evening,

他們給他毒品和酒精，

he went to be with people he thought were his friends,

他接受了，

he was given drugs and alcohol

因為他認為這些東西 能讓他感到無拘無束。

and he took them

但結果這些東西只讓他更加焦慮，

because he thought they would make him feel carefree.

創造出了他更……

But all it did was to make his anxiety go higher

更致命的想法。

and to create a more ...

他們邀他加入搶劫計畫，

more deadly thinking on his part.

他們給他一把九釐米手槍。

He was invited to a robbery,

在場有位 18 歲的孩子發號施令，

he was given a 9mm handgun.

另外兩位 14 歲男孩是他認定的朋友，

And at the presence of an 18-year-old who commanded him

他在他們面前射殺了塔瑞克卡米薩，

and two 14-year-old boys he thought were his friends,

這個人的兒子。

he shot and killed Tariq Khamisa,

沒有任何言語，沒有任何言語

this man's son.

能夠表達喪子之痛。

There are no words, there are no words

就我了解，我的孫子 要為這件謀殺負責。

that can express the loss of a child.

照我父母親教我的，我進入禱告室，

At my understanding that my grandson was responsible

開始禱告和冥想。

for the murder of this human being,

卡米薩先生和我有一個共通點，

I went to the prayer closet, like I was taught by my old folks,

除了我們人都很好以外， 我們當時並不知道

and began to pray and meditate.

我們兩人都會冥想。

The one thing that Mr. Khamisa and I have in common,

（笑聲）

and we didn't know this, besides being wonderful human beings,

那對我很有幫助，

is that we both meditate.

因為那讓我有機會尋求引導和清明，

(Laughter)

讓我知道我該如何在這場損失當中 支持這個人和他的家人。

It was very helpful for me

很顯然，我的禱告得到了回應，

because it offered me an opportunity to seek guidance and clarity

因為我接到邀請，到這個人的家中，

about how I wanted to be of support of this man and his family in this loss.

去會見他的母親、他的父親、

And sure enough, my prayers were answered,

他的妻子、他的兄弟， 會見他們的家人，

because I was invited to a meeting at this man's house,

讓我有機會面對這些具有神性的人， 由這個人所帶領的人們，

met his mother, his father,

他們帶著寬恕的精神，

his wife, his brother, met their family

為我開路，給我機會，

and had a chance to be in the presence of God-spirited people led by this man,

讓我能有價值， 並和他以及孩子們分享

who in the spirit of forgiveness,

成為負責任的大人非常重要，

made way, made an opportunity for me

用健康的方式來處理憤怒情緒，

to be of value and to share with him and to share with children

學習冥想。

the importance of understanding the need to be with a responsible adult,

塔瑞克卡米薩基金會的計畫

focus on your anger in a way that's healthy,

提供許多工具給孩子們， 讓他們能收入自己的工具包中，

learn to meditate.

讓他們一生中都能帶在身邊。

The programs that we have in the Tariq Khamisa Foundation

很重要的是讓孩子了解有慈愛的成人

provide so many tools for the kids to put in their toolkit

會照顧、支持他們，

so they could carry them throughout their lives.

但還有一點很重要的， 就是我們的孩子要學會冥想，

It's important that our children understand that loving, caring adults

學會找到平靜，

care for them and support them,

學會自信穩重，

but it's also important that our children learn to meditate,

學會和其他孩子互動，

learn to be peaceful,

用仁慈、有同情心，

learn to be centered

且很慈愛的方式互動。

and learn to interact with the other children

我們的社會需要更多愛，

in a kind, empathetic

那就是為什麼我們在這裡， 和孩子們分享愛，

and wonderfully loving way.

因為我們的孩子，會為我們領路，

We need more love in our society

因為我們所有人都會仰賴下一代。

and that's why we are here to share the love with children,

當我們年老、退休， 他們會接手這個世界，

because our children will lead the way for us,

所以，我們教導他們多少愛， 他們就會給予我們同等的愛。

because all of us will depend on our children.

祝福大家。謝謝。

As we grow older and retire, they will take over this world for us,

（掌聲）

so as much love as we teach them, they will give it back to us.

亞辛：我在肯亞出生， 在英國受教育，

Blessings. Thank you.

我的這位兄弟是浸禮會教友。

(Applause)

我是蘇菲派穆斯林。

AK: So I was born in Kenya, I was educated in England,

他是非裔美國人，

and my brother here is a Baptist.

但我總是告訴他， 我才是非裔美國人吧，

I practice as a Sufi Muslim.

我是在非洲出生的，你不是。

He's African American,

（笑聲）

but I always tell him, I'm the African American in the group.

我入籍成為公民。

I was born in Africa. You were not.

我是第一代的公民。

(Laughter)

我覺得，身為美國公民，

And I naturalized as a citizen.

對於我兒子被謀殺一事，

I'm a first-generation citizen.

我必須要負我的那一份責任。

And I felt that, as an American citizen,

為什麼？因為開槍的是一位美國小孩。

I must take my share of the responsibility

你可以持不同立場， 認為他殺了我的獨子，

for the murder of my son.

他應該被送上最高的柱子吊死。

Why? Because it was fired by an American child.

但那又怎麼能改善社會？

You could take the position, he killed my one and only son,

你們可能很納悶， 那位年輕人後來如何。

he should be hung from the highest pole.

他還在監獄中。 9 月 22 日時他剛滿 37 歲，

How does that improve society?

但我有好消息。

And I know you are probably wondering what happened to that young man.

我們花了 12 年試著讓他出獄。

He's still in prison. He just turned 37 on September 22,

終於，一年之後，他將能夠加入我們。

but I have some good news.

（掌聲）

We've been trying to get him out for 12 years.

對於他的加入，我非常興奮，

He finally will join us a year from now.

因為我知道我們拯救了他，

(Applause)

但他將會拯救數以萬計的學生，

And I'm very excited to have him join us,

方法就是分享他的證詞，

because I know we've saved him,

在我們經常出席的學校中分享。

but he will save tens of thousands of students

當他對孩子們說： 「我 11 歲時，加入了幫派。

when he shares his testimony

我 14 歲時，我殺害了 卡米薩先生的兒子。

in schools that we are present at on a regular basis.

我過去無數年都在坐牢。

When he says to the kids, "When I was 11, I joined a gang.

我在這裡告訴你們：這並不值得。」

When I was 14, I murdered Mr. Khamisa's son.

你們認為孩子們會聽那個聲音嗎？

I've spent the last umpteen years in prison.

是的，因為他的語調，

I'm here to tell you: it's not worth it,"

會是一個扣下扳機的人的語調。

do you think the kids will listen to that voice?

我知道，他希望時光能夠倒轉。

Yes, because his intonations

當然，那不可能。

will be of a person that pulled the trigger.

我希望可以，我也想要我的兒子回來，

And I know that he wants to turn the clock back.

我兄弟的好孫子也能回來。

Of course, that's not possible.

我想，那展示出了寬恕的力量。

I wish it was. I would have my son back.

所以，這裡要傳遞的 重要訊息是什麼？

My brother would have his grandson back.

我想用一句引言來結束這場演說，

So I think that demonstrates the power of forgiveness.

它是我第四本書的根基，

So what's the big takeaway here?

順便一提，

So I want to end our session with this quote,

那本書的序言是由東尼寫的。

which is the basis of my fourth book,

這句話是：持續的善意能創造友誼。

which incidentally,

我們交朋友的方式 並不是去炸他們，對吧？

the foreword for that book was written by Tony.

你要交朋友，就要把善意延伸出去。

So it goes like this: sustained goodwill creates friendship.

這點應該很明顯。

You don't make friends by bombing them, right?

所以，持續的善意能創造友誼，

You make friends by extending goodwill.

持續的友誼能創造信任，

That ought to be obvious.

持續的信任能創造同理，

So sustained goodwill creates friendship,

持續的同理能創造憐憫，

sustained friendship creates trust,

持續的憐憫能創造和平。

sustained trust creates empathy,

我把它稱為我的和平方程式。

sustained empathy creates compassion,

從善意開始，接著是友誼、 信任、同理、憐憫，最後是和平。

and sustained compassion creates peace.

但人們問我，要如何把善意

I call this my peace formula.

延伸到殺害你孩子的人？

It starts with goodwill, friendship, trust, empathy, compassion and peace.

我告訴他們，透過寬恕就可以做到。