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  • I was a Marine with 1/1 Weapons Company,

    譯者: Ivy Rao 審譯者: Anthony Qian

  • 81's platoon,

    我曾是海軍陸戰隊員 1/1 武器連,

  • out in Camp Pendleton, California.

    81 排,

  • Oorah!

    駐紮於加州彭德頓營,

  • Audience: Oorah!

    衝鋒!

  • (Laughter)

    (觀眾:衝鋒!)

  • I joined a few months after September 11,

    (笑聲)

  • feeling like I think most people in the country did at the time,

    我在 911 之後的幾個月入伍,

  • filled with a sense of patriotism and retribution

    我想我的感覺和那時 大部份國人的感受一樣,

  • and the desire to do something --

    充滿了愛國、報仇之情,

  • that, coupled with that fact that I wasn't doing anything.

    以及想做些甚麼的願望──

  • I was 17, just graduated from high school that past summer,

    而實際狀況是我沒做任何事。

  • living in the back room of my parents' house paying rent,

    那時我 17 歲,

  • in the small town I was raised in in Northern Indiana,

    就在 911 前的那個 夏天高中畢業,

  • called Mishawaka.

    住在我父母房子的裡間, 並支付房租,

  • I can spell that later for people who are interested --

    我的故鄉在北印地安納州

  • (Laughter)

    一個叫做米沙沃卡的小鎮。

  • Mishawaka is many good things but cultural hub of the world it is not,

    過一會兒我可以把那名字拼寫一下, 如果誰感興趣的話──

  • so my only exposure to theater and film

    (笑聲)

  • was limited to the plays I did in high school

    米沙沃卡很不錯, 但它不是世界文化中心。

  • and Blockbuster Video, may she rest in peace.

    所以我接觸到的戲劇和電影

  • (Laughter)

    僅限於在中學裡參演的話劇,

  • I was serious enough about acting

    和從百視達租來的影片,願它安息。

  • that I auditioned for Juilliard when I was a senior in high school,

    (笑聲)

  • didn't get in,

    我對表演很認真。

  • determined college wasn't for me and applied nowhere else,

    高中最後一年我曾到 茱莉亞學院面試。

  • which was a genius move.

    沒被錄取。

  • I also did that Hail Mary LA acting odyssey

    看起來大學不適合我, 因此沒再申請任何一家。

  • that I always heard stories about,

    那真是個英明決定。

  • of actors moving to LA with, like, seven dollars

    我也做過開車一路混到洛杉磯的事。

  • and finding work and successful careers.

    我常聽到那樣的故事,

  • I got as far as Amarillo, Texas, before my car broke down.

    一個藝人帶著,比如說, 7 美圓到洛杉磯,

  • I spent all my money repairing it,

    找到工作並擁有美好的前途。

  • finally made it to Santa Monica --

    我只開到德克薩斯的阿馬里諾,

  • not even LA --

    然後車子壞了。

  • stayed for 48 hours wandering the beach, basically,

    我花光了身上所有的錢修好了它,

  • got in my car, drove home,

    最終把它開到了聖塔莫尼卡──

  • thus ending my acting career, so --

    還不是洛杉磯──

  • (Laughter)

    在海邊遊蕩了差不多 48 小時,

  • Seventeen, Mishawaka ...

    基本上就是回到車裡,上路回家。

  • parents' house, paying rent, selling vacuums ...

    就這樣結束了我的演藝生涯,所以,

  • telemarketing,

    (笑聲)

  • cutting grass at the local 4-H fairgrounds.

    17 歲,米沙沃卡……

  • This was my world going into September, 2001.

    住爸媽的房子, 付租金,賣吸塵器……

  • So after the 11th,

    電話推銷,

  • and feeling an overwhelming sense of duty,

    為本地 4H 露天集市修剪草坪。

  • and just being pissed off in general -- at myself,

    這就是我的世界, 然後到了 2001 年的九月。

  • my parents, the government;

    所以,11 日以後,

  • not having confidence, not having a respectable job,

    我感到一種排山倒海的責任感,

  • my shitty mini-fridge that I just drove to California and back --

    周圍的一切都開始變得令人厭煩,

  • I joined the Marine Corps and loved it. I loved being a Marine.

    包括我自己、我的父母、政府,

  • It's one of the things I'm most proud of having done in my life.

    沒有自信,也沒有體面的工作,

  • Firing weapons was cool,

    還有那輛被我開到加州 又開回來的小破車──

  • driving and detonating expensive things was great.

    我加入了海軍陸戰隊,愛上了它。 我愛當海軍陸戰隊員。

  • But I found I loved the Marine Corps the most

    這是我生命中最自豪的一件事。

  • for the thing I was looking for the least when I joined,

    開槍很酷,

  • which was the people:

    駕駛和爆破價格昂貴的東西很棒。

  • these weird dudes -- a motley crew of characters

    但我發現海軍陸戰隊最讓我喜歡的,

  • from a cross section of the United States --

    我在加入它時最沒想到的,

  • that on the surface I had nothing in common with.

    那就是人。

  • And over time,

    這些奇怪的傢伙── 一群五光十色的人物,

  • all the political and personal bravado

    來自美國各地──

  • that led me to the military dissolved,

    表面上看我們完全不一樣。

  • and for me, the Marine Corps became synonymous with my friends.

    時間久了,

  • And then, a few years into my service

    所有把我推向軍伍的那些

  • and months away from deploying to Iraq,

    政治和個人的冒險犯難已漸漸消失,

  • I dislocated my sternum in a mountain-biking accident,

    對我來說,海軍陸戰隊員 變成了朋友的同義詞。

  • and had to be medically separated.

    服役幾年後,

  • Those never in the military may find this hard to understand,

    派到伊拉克的幾個月前,

  • but being told I wasn't getting deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan

    一次山地自行車事故,我胸骨錯位,

  • was very devastating for me.

    不得不接受傷殘退役。

  • I have a very clear image of leaving the base hospital on a stretcher

    沒服過兵役的人可能難以理解,

  • and my entire platoon is waiting outside to see if I was OK.

    當被告知不能被派往 伊拉克或阿富汗,

  • And then, suddenly, I was a civilian again.

    我深受打擊。

  • I knew I wanted to give acting another shot,

    我清楚地記得躺在擔架上 離開基地醫院的畫面,

  • because -- again, this is me --

    全排的士兵都在外面等著 看我是否平安。

  • I thought all civilian problems are small compared to the military.

    然後,我突然又變成了平民百姓。

  • I mean, what can you really bitch about now, you know?

    我知道我想再嘗試表演,

  • "It's hot.

    因為──還是這樣,這就是我──

  • Someone should turn on the air conditioner."

    我認為所有平民的問題 都沒有軍隊問題重要。

  • "This coffee line is too long."

    我意思是,你還有什麼好抱怨的?

  • I was a Marine,

    「天氣好熱。

  • I knew how to survive.

    應該有人把冷氣打開。」

  • I'd go to New York and become an actor.

    「這個買咖啡的隊太長了。」

  • If things didn't work out,

    我是海軍陸戰隊員,

  • I'd live in Central Park and dumpster-dive behind Panera Bread.

    我知道如何活下去。

  • (Laughter)

    我應該去紐約當演員。

  • I re-auditioned for Juilliard and this time I was lucky,

    如果不行,

  • I got in.

    我就住在中央公園, 去連鎖麵包咖啡店後面翻垃圾。

  • But I was surprised by how complex the transition was

    (笑聲)

  • from military to civilian.

    我又去茱莉亞考試, 而這一次我很幸運,

  • And I was relatively healthy; I can't imagine going through that process

    我被錄取了。

  • on top of a mental or physical injury.

    但是,我很驚訝 這個過度期是如此複雜,

  • But regardless, it was difficult.

    從軍人到平民百姓。

  • In part, because I was in acting school --

    我相對來說很健康, 但我不能想像要怎麼走這段路,

  • I couldn't justify going to voice and speech class,

    如果我的身體或心靈 在戰爭受到傷害。

  • throwing imaginary balls of energy at the back of the room,

    不管怎樣,那就是很難。

  • doing acting exercises where I gave birth to myself --

    部分原因是, 因為我在表演學校──

  • (Laughter)

    我無法正當化自己 去上聲樂課或是上演講課,

  • while my friends were serving without me overseas.

    或是在教室後面投擲 想像中的能量球,

  • But also, because I didn't know how to apply the things

    或是練習表演我怎麼生出我自己,

  • I learned in the military to a civilian context.

    (笑聲)

  • I mean that both practically and emotionally.

    而我的朋友們在海外服兵役, 我沒和他們在一起。

  • Practically, I had to get a job.

    不盡如此,我也不知道如何利用

  • And I was an Infantry Marine,

    軍隊學到的東西, 在平民的情景裡使用。

  • where you're shooting machine guns and firing mortars.

    我是說在現實和情感兩方面。

  • There's not a lot of places you can put those skills in the civilian world.

    現實地說,我需要一份工作。

  • (Laughter)

    而我是一名陸戰隊步兵,

  • Emotionally, I struggled to find meaning.

    在軍隊裡開機槍、開迫擊炮。

  • In the military, everything has meaning.

    平民世界裡沒有太多地方 讓你使用這些技術。

  • Everything you do is either steeped in tradition

    (笑聲)

  • or has a practical purpose.

    情感上,我糾結於尋找意義。

  • You can't smoke in the field

    軍隊裡,每一件事都有意義。

  • because you don't want to give away your position.

    你做的每一件事既要沿襲傳統

  • You don't touch your face -- you have to maintain

    又要具有現實意義。

  • a personal level of health and hygiene.

    你不能在陣地吸煙

  • You face this way when "Colors" plays,

    因為你不想暴露你的位置。

  • out of respect for people who went before you.

    你不摸自己的臉──你必須保持

  • Walk this way, talk this way because of this.

    基本的個人健康和衛生。

  • Your uniform is maintained to the inch.

    舉旗儀式你要面對這邊,

  • How diligently you followed those rules spoke volumes

    展現對比你先走的人的尊重。

  • about the kind of Marine you were.

    這樣走路,這樣講話, 都是因為這個。

  • Your rank said something about your history

    你的軍服的每一寸都要維護好。

  • and the respect you had earned.

    你有多勤奮遵守那些條例,

  • In the civilian world there's no rank.

    都大大顯示出你是怎樣的陸戰隊員。

  • Here you're just another body,

    你的軍銜顯示了你的歷史

  • and I felt like I constantly had to prove my worth all over again.

    以及你獲得的尊敬。

  • And the respect civilians were giving me while I was in uniform

    平民的世界裡沒有軍銜。

  • didn't exist when I was out of it.

    這裡你只是一個軀體,

  • There didn't seem to be a ...

    我感覺必須重新證明我的價值。

  • a sense of community,

    當我穿著制服時平民給與我的尊重,

  • whereas in the military, I felt this sense of community.

    在我脫掉軍服時就不存在了。

  • How often in the civilian world

    感覺似乎沒有一種

  • are you put in a life-or-death situation with your closest friends

    群體感。

  • and they constantly demonstrate that they're not going to abandon you?

    但在軍隊裡,我有這種群體感。

  • And meanwhile, at acting school ...

    在平民的世界裡,你有什麼機會

  • (Laughter)

    和你最好的朋友置於生死之境,

  • I was really, for the first time,

    而他們不斷地向你證明不會拋棄你?

  • discovering playwrights and characters and plays

    而同時,在表演學校

  • that had nothing to do with the military,

    (笑聲)

  • but were somehow describing my military experience

    我真的,第一次,

  • in a way that before to me was indescribable.

    發現劇作家和演員和戲劇

  • And I felt myself becoming less aggressive

    與軍隊沒有任何關係,

  • as I was able to put words to feelings for the first time

    卻描述了我的軍旅經歷,

  • and realizing what a valuable tool that was.

    描述了以前的我所無法描述的。

  • And when I was reflecting on my time in the military,

    我感到自己變得沒那麼好鬥了。

  • I wasn't first thinking on the stereotypical drills

    我第一次可以把語言轉變成感情,

  • and discipline and pain of it;

    並且認識到它是一個 多麼有價值的工具。

  • but rather, the small, intimate human moments,

    當我反思我的軍旅時光,

  • moments of great feeling:

    我想到不再是典型的軍事訓練

  • friends going AWOL because they missed their families,

    和紀律,以及它們帶來的痛苦。

  • friends getting divorced,

    而是一些小的、 親密的、人性的瞬間,

  • grieving together, celebrating together,

    感覺非常棒的瞬間。

  • all within the backdrop of the military.

    朋友們因為思念家庭而擅離職守,

  • I saw my friends battling these circumstances,

    朋友離婚了,

  • and I watched the anxiety it produced in them and me,

    一起悲傷,一起慶祝,

  • not being able to express our feelings about it.

    一切都是以軍隊為背景。

  • The military and theater communities are actually very similar.

    我看到我的朋友們 在這樣的情況下戰鬥,

  • You have a group of people trying to accomplish a mission

    焦慮在我和他們中間產生,

  • greater than themselves; it's not about you.

    但表達不出我們對它的感覺。

  • You have a role, you have to know your role within that team.

    軍隊和劇院的群體其實非常像。

  • Every team has a leader or director;

    一群人努力要完成一個 比他們自身更偉大的目標,

  • sometimes they're smart, sometimes they're not.

    故事主角不是你。

  • You're forced to be intimate with complete strangers

    你有一個角色,

  • in a short amount of time;

    你必須知道你在團隊裡的角色。

  • the self-discipline, the self-maintenance.

    每個團隊都有一個領隊或導演;

  • I thought, how great would it be to create a space

    有時候他們很聰明,有時候不。

  • that combined these two seemingly dissimilar communities,

    你要強迫自己和完全陌生的人親近,

  • that brought entertainment to a group of people

    在很短的時間裡。

  • that, considering their occupation,

    自我約束,自我維護。

  • could handle something a bit more thought-provoking

    我想,這會很棒, 如果能創建一個空間,

  • than the typical mandatory-fun events

    把這兩個看起來 不一樣的群體放在一起。

  • that I remember being "volun-told" to go to in the military --

    它會給一群人帶來娛樂,

  • (Laughter)

    考慮到他們的職業,

  • all well-intended but slightly offensive events,

    可以讓他們省思的活動,

  • like "Win a Date with a San Diego Chargers Cheerleader,"

    而不是典型的強制性團康。

  • where you answer a question about pop culture,

    我還記得軍中那個 「強迫自願」──

  • and if you get it right you win a date,

    (笑聲)

  • which was a chaperoned walk around the parade deck

    都是本意很好但有些唐突的活動。

  • with this already married, pregnant cheerleader --

    比如「赢取和聖地亞哥閃電隊 啦啦隊長的一日約會。」

  • (Laughter)

    回答一個關於流行文化的問題,

  • Nothing against cheerleaders, I love cheerleaders.

    如果你答對了就赢得一個約會,

  • The point is more, how great would it be to have theater presented

    就是在別人的監護下 在遊行廣場散個步,

  • through characters that were accessible without being condescending.

    和這位已婚懷孕的啦啦隊長──

  • So we started this nonprofit called Arts in the Armed Forces,

    (笑聲)

  • where we tried to do that,

    我並不是針對啦啦隊長,我愛她們。

  • tried to join these two seemingly dissimilar communities.

    重點是,有個劇場出現該有多好,

  • We pick a play or select monologues from contemporary American plays

    透過可親近的角色, 拉近彼此距離而不覺得做作。

  • that are diverse in age and race like a military audience is,

    所以我們發起了這個非營利組織, 叫做「軍營中的藝術。」

  • grab a group of incredible theater-trained actors,

    我們努力,

  • arm them with incredible material,

    努力要把這兩個 完全不一樣的群體融合起来。

  • keep production value as minimal as possible --

    我們從美國當代戲劇中 挑一齣戲或選一些獨白,

  • no sets, no costumes, no lights, just reading it --

    角色包含不同的年齡和種族, 就和軍隊成分一樣。

  • to throw all the emphasis on the language

    邀來一群出色、 訓練有素的戲劇演員,

  • and to show that theater can be created at any setting.

    用很棒的劇本裝備他們,

  • It's a powerful thing,

    以最小的製作成本──

  • getting in a room with complete strangers

    沒有佈景、服裝、 燈光,只是朗讀它──

  • and reminding ourselves of our humanity,

    把所有的重點都放在語言上。

  • and that self-expression is just as valuable a tool

    實際上,任何情境 都可以創造出戲劇效果。

  • as a rifle on your shoulder.

    這非常能感染人。

  • And for an organization like the military,

    進入一間全是陌生人的房間,

  • that prides itself on having acronyms for acronyms,

    用我們的人性提醒自己。

  • you can get lost in the sauce

    而自我表達正是一個 非常有用的工具,

  • when it comes to explaining a collective experience.

    就像肩膀上的來福槍。

  • And I can think of no better community

    像軍隊這樣的機構,

  • to arm with a new means of self-expression

    因為有很多「簡稱的簡稱」而自傲。

  • than those protecting our country.

    在詮釋一種集體經驗的時候, 你很容易迷失在好笑的部分。

  • We've gone all over the United States and the world,

    我想再也找不出一個更好的團體

  • from Walter Reed in Bethesda, Maryland,

    裝備了這麼多自我表達的新方式,

  • to Camp Pendleton, to Camp Arifjan in Kuwait,

    多於保衛國家的武器。

  • to USAG Bavaria,

    我們的足跡遍佈美國和世界,

  • on- and off-Broadway theaters in New York.

    從位於馬里蘭州貝塞斯達的 美國海軍醫療中心,

  • And for the performing artists we bring,

    到彭德頓營, 到科威特的阿里伏強營,

  • it's a window into a culture

    到巴伐利亞美國駐軍,

  • they otherwise would not have had exposure to.

    紐約百老匯或外百老匯劇場。

  • And for the military, it's the exact same.

    對於那些跟隨我們的表演藝術家,

  • And in doing this for the past six years,

    這是一扇文化之窗,

  • I'm always reminded that acting is many things.

    除此以外他們沒有機會打開。

  • It's a craft, it's a political act, it's a business, it's --

    對於軍隊來說,也完全一樣。

  • whatever adjective is most applicable to you.

    在做這件事的六年裡,

  • But it's also a service.

    我時常提醒自己 表演意味著很多事情。

  • I didn't get to finish mine,

    它是一個作品,是一個政治行動, 是一種生意,它是──

  • so whenever I get to be of service

    不論你最想用的形容是甚麼。

  • to this ultimate service industry, the military, for me, again --

    但它同時也是一種侍奉。

  • there's not many things better than that.

    我尚未完成我的。

  • Thank you.

    所以每當我服務於

  • (Applause)

    這個最高級的服務行業,軍隊, 對於我來說,再一次──

  • We're going to be doing a piece from Marco Ramirez,

    沒有甚麼能比這個更好了。

  • called "I am not Batman."

    謝謝。

  • An incredible actor and good friend of mine, Jesse Perez,

    (掌聲)

  • is going to be reading,

    我們將演出馬可.拉米爾茲的作品,

  • and Matt Johnson, who I just met a couple hours ago.

    劇名是 「我不是蝙蝠俠。」

  • They're doing it together for the first time,

    一位出色的演員,也是我的好朋友,

  • so we'll see how it goes.

    傑西.培瑞茲將要朗讀,

  • Jesse Perez and Matt Johnson.

    還有麥特強森, 我們剛剛認識了幾小時。

  • (Applause)

    他們真的是第一次合作表演。

  • Jesse Perez: It's the middle of the night

    所以,我們拭目以待。

  • and the sky is glowing like mad, radioactive red.

    有請傑西.培瑞茲和麥特強森。

  • And if you squint, you can maybe see the moon

    (掌聲)

  • through a thick layer of cigarette smoke and airplane exhaust

    (鼓聲) 傑:午夜,

  • that covers the whole city,

    天空裡射出瘋狂的紅色光輝。

  • like a mosquito net that won't let the angels in.

    如果你眯起眼,也許可以看到月亮。

  • (Drum beat)

    穿過厚厚一層 香煙的迷霧和飛機的排煙,

  • And if you look up high enough,

    它覆蓋了整個城市,

  • you can see me standing on the edge of an 87-story building.

    像一張蚊帳不讓天使飛入。

  • And up there, a place for gargoyles and broken clock towers

    (鼓聲)

  • that have stayed still and dead for maybe like 100 years,

    如果你看得足夠高,你可以看到我,

  • up there is me.

    站在一棟 87 層高的大樓樓頂邊上。