81's platoon,

我曾是海軍陸戰隊員 1/1 武器連，

out in Camp Pendleton, California.

81 排，

Oorah!

駐紮於加州彭德頓營，

Audience: Oorah!

衝鋒！

(Laughter)

（觀眾：衝鋒！）

I joined a few months after September 11,

（笑聲）

feeling like I think most people in the country did at the time,

我在 911 之後的幾個月入伍，

filled with a sense of patriotism and retribution

我想我的感覺和那時 大部份國人的感受一樣，

and the desire to do something --

充滿了愛國、報仇之情，

that, coupled with that fact that I wasn't doing anything.

以及想做些甚麼的願望──

I was 17, just graduated from high school that past summer,

而實際狀況是我沒做任何事。

living in the back room of my parents' house paying rent,

那時我 17 歲，

in the small town I was raised in in Northern Indiana,

就在 911 前的那個 夏天高中畢業，

called Mishawaka.

住在我父母房子的裡間， 並支付房租，

I can spell that later for people who are interested --

我的故鄉在北印地安納州

(Laughter)

一個叫做米沙沃卡的小鎮。

Mishawaka is many good things but cultural hub of the world it is not,

過一會兒我可以把那名字拼寫一下， 如果誰感興趣的話──

so my only exposure to theater and film

（笑聲）

was limited to the plays I did in high school

米沙沃卡很不錯， 但它不是世界文化中心。

and Blockbuster Video, may she rest in peace.

所以我接觸到的戲劇和電影

(Laughter)

僅限於在中學裡參演的話劇，

I was serious enough about acting

和從百視達租來的影片，願它安息。

that I auditioned for Juilliard when I was a senior in high school,

（笑聲）

didn't get in,

我對表演很認真。

determined college wasn't for me and applied nowhere else,

高中最後一年我曾到 茱莉亞學院面試。

which was a genius move.

沒被錄取。

I also did that Hail Mary LA acting odyssey

看起來大學不適合我， 因此沒再申請任何一家。

that I always heard stories about,

那真是個英明決定。

of actors moving to LA with, like, seven dollars

我也做過開車一路混到洛杉磯的事。

and finding work and successful careers.

我常聽到那樣的故事，

I got as far as Amarillo, Texas, before my car broke down.

一個藝人帶著，比如說， 7 美圓到洛杉磯，

I spent all my money repairing it,

找到工作並擁有美好的前途。

finally made it to Santa Monica --

我只開到德克薩斯的阿馬里諾，

not even LA --

然後車子壞了。

stayed for 48 hours wandering the beach, basically,

我花光了身上所有的錢修好了它，

got in my car, drove home,

最終把它開到了聖塔莫尼卡──

thus ending my acting career, so --

還不是洛杉磯──

(Laughter)

在海邊遊蕩了差不多 48 小時，

Seventeen, Mishawaka ...

基本上就是回到車裡，上路回家。

parents' house, paying rent, selling vacuums ...

就這樣結束了我的演藝生涯，所以，

telemarketing,

（笑聲）

cutting grass at the local 4-H fairgrounds.

17 歲，米沙沃卡……

This was my world going into September, 2001.

住爸媽的房子， 付租金，賣吸塵器……

So after the 11th,

電話推銷，

and feeling an overwhelming sense of duty,

為本地 4H 露天集市修剪草坪。

and just being pissed off in general -- at myself,

這就是我的世界， 然後到了 2001 年的九月。

my parents, the government;

所以，11 日以後，

not having confidence, not having a respectable job,

我感到一種排山倒海的責任感，

my shitty mini-fridge that I just drove to California and back --

周圍的一切都開始變得令人厭煩，

I joined the Marine Corps and loved it. I loved being a Marine.

包括我自己、我的父母、政府，

It's one of the things I'm most proud of having done in my life.

沒有自信，也沒有體面的工作，

Firing weapons was cool,

還有那輛被我開到加州 又開回來的小破車──

driving and detonating expensive things was great.

我加入了海軍陸戰隊，愛上了它。 我愛當海軍陸戰隊員。

But I found I loved the Marine Corps the most

這是我生命中最自豪的一件事。

for the thing I was looking for the least when I joined,

開槍很酷，

which was the people:

駕駛和爆破價格昂貴的東西很棒。

these weird dudes -- a motley crew of characters

但我發現海軍陸戰隊最讓我喜歡的，

from a cross section of the United States --

我在加入它時最沒想到的，

that on the surface I had nothing in common with.

那就是人。

And over time,

這些奇怪的傢伙── 一群五光十色的人物，

all the political and personal bravado

來自美國各地──

that led me to the military dissolved,

表面上看我們完全不一樣。

and for me, the Marine Corps became synonymous with my friends.

時間久了，

And then, a few years into my service

所有把我推向軍伍的那些

and months away from deploying to Iraq,

政治和個人的冒險犯難已漸漸消失，

I dislocated my sternum in a mountain-biking accident,

對我來說，海軍陸戰隊員 變成了朋友的同義詞。

and had to be medically separated.

服役幾年後，

Those never in the military may find this hard to understand,

派到伊拉克的幾個月前，

but being told I wasn't getting deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan

一次山地自行車事故，我胸骨錯位，

was very devastating for me.

不得不接受傷殘退役。

I have a very clear image of leaving the base hospital on a stretcher

沒服過兵役的人可能難以理解，

and my entire platoon is waiting outside to see if I was OK.

當被告知不能被派往 伊拉克或阿富汗，

And then, suddenly, I was a civilian again.

我深受打擊。

I knew I wanted to give acting another shot,

我清楚地記得躺在擔架上 離開基地醫院的畫面，

because -- again, this is me --

全排的士兵都在外面等著 看我是否平安。

I thought all civilian problems are small compared to the military.

然後，我突然又變成了平民百姓。

I mean, what can you really bitch about now, you know?

我知道我想再嘗試表演，

"It's hot.

因為──還是這樣，這就是我──

Someone should turn on the air conditioner."

我認為所有平民的問題 都沒有軍隊問題重要。

"This coffee line is too long."

我意思是，你還有什麼好抱怨的？

I was a Marine,

「天氣好熱。

I knew how to survive.

應該有人把冷氣打開。」

I'd go to New York and become an actor.

「這個買咖啡的隊太長了。」

If things didn't work out,

我是海軍陸戰隊員，

I'd live in Central Park and dumpster-dive behind Panera Bread.

我知道如何活下去。

(Laughter)

我應該去紐約當演員。

I re-auditioned for Juilliard and this time I was lucky,

如果不行，

I got in.

我就住在中央公園， 去連鎖麵包咖啡店後面翻垃圾。

But I was surprised by how complex the transition was

（笑聲）

from military to civilian.

我又去茱莉亞考試， 而這一次我很幸運，

And I was relatively healthy; I can't imagine going through that process

我被錄取了。

on top of a mental or physical injury.

但是，我很驚訝 這個過度期是如此複雜，

But regardless, it was difficult.

從軍人到平民百姓。

In part, because I was in acting school --

我相對來說很健康， 但我不能想像要怎麼走這段路，

I couldn't justify going to voice and speech class,

如果我的身體或心靈 在戰爭受到傷害。

throwing imaginary balls of energy at the back of the room,

不管怎樣，那就是很難。

doing acting exercises where I gave birth to myself --

部分原因是， 因為我在表演學校──

(Laughter)

我無法正當化自己 去上聲樂課或是上演講課，

while my friends were serving without me overseas.

或是在教室後面投擲 想像中的能量球，

But also, because I didn't know how to apply the things

或是練習表演我怎麼生出我自己，

I learned in the military to a civilian context.

（笑聲）

I mean that both practically and emotionally.

而我的朋友們在海外服兵役， 我沒和他們在一起。

Practically, I had to get a job.

不盡如此，我也不知道如何利用

And I was an Infantry Marine,

軍隊學到的東西， 在平民的情景裡使用。

where you're shooting machine guns and firing mortars.

我是說在現實和情感兩方面。

There's not a lot of places you can put those skills in the civilian world.

現實地說，我需要一份工作。

(Laughter)

而我是一名陸戰隊步兵，

Emotionally, I struggled to find meaning.

在軍隊裡開機槍、開迫擊炮。

In the military, everything has meaning.

平民世界裡沒有太多地方 讓你使用這些技術。

Everything you do is either steeped in tradition

（笑聲）

or has a practical purpose.

情感上，我糾結於尋找意義。

You can't smoke in the field

軍隊裡，每一件事都有意義。

because you don't want to give away your position.

你做的每一件事既要沿襲傳統

You don't touch your face -- you have to maintain

又要具有現實意義。

a personal level of health and hygiene.

你不能在陣地吸煙

You face this way when "Colors" plays,

因為你不想暴露你的位置。

out of respect for people who went before you.

你不摸自己的臉──你必須保持

Walk this way, talk this way because of this.

基本的個人健康和衛生。

Your uniform is maintained to the inch.

舉旗儀式你要面對這邊，

How diligently you followed those rules spoke volumes

展現對比你先走的人的尊重。

about the kind of Marine you were.

這樣走路，這樣講話， 都是因為這個。

Your rank said something about your history

你的軍服的每一寸都要維護好。

and the respect you had earned.

你有多勤奮遵守那些條例，

In the civilian world there's no rank.

都大大顯示出你是怎樣的陸戰隊員。

Here you're just another body,

你的軍銜顯示了你的歷史

and I felt like I constantly had to prove my worth all over again.

以及你獲得的尊敬。

And the respect civilians were giving me while I was in uniform

平民的世界裡沒有軍銜。

didn't exist when I was out of it.

這裡你只是一個軀體，

There didn't seem to be a ...

我感覺必須重新證明我的價值。

a sense of community,

當我穿著制服時平民給與我的尊重，

whereas in the military, I felt this sense of community.

在我脫掉軍服時就不存在了。

How often in the civilian world

感覺似乎沒有一種

are you put in a life-or-death situation with your closest friends

群體感。

and they constantly demonstrate that they're not going to abandon you?

但在軍隊裡，我有這種群體感。

And meanwhile, at acting school ...

在平民的世界裡，你有什麼機會

(Laughter)

和你最好的朋友置於生死之境，

I was really, for the first time,

而他們不斷地向你證明不會拋棄你？

discovering playwrights and characters and plays

而同時，在表演學校

that had nothing to do with the military,

（笑聲）

but were somehow describing my military experience

我真的，第一次，

in a way that before to me was indescribable.

發現劇作家和演員和戲劇

And I felt myself becoming less aggressive

與軍隊沒有任何關係，

as I was able to put words to feelings for the first time

卻描述了我的軍旅經歷，

and realizing what a valuable tool that was.

描述了以前的我所無法描述的。

And when I was reflecting on my time in the military,

我感到自己變得沒那麼好鬥了。

I wasn't first thinking on the stereotypical drills

我第一次可以把語言轉變成感情，

and discipline and pain of it;

並且認識到它是一個 多麼有價值的工具。

but rather, the small, intimate human moments,

當我反思我的軍旅時光，

moments of great feeling:

我想到不再是典型的軍事訓練

friends going AWOL because they missed their families,

和紀律，以及它們帶來的痛苦。

friends getting divorced,

而是一些小的、 親密的、人性的瞬間，

grieving together, celebrating together,

感覺非常棒的瞬間。

all within the backdrop of the military.

朋友們因為思念家庭而擅離職守，

I saw my friends battling these circumstances,

朋友離婚了，

and I watched the anxiety it produced in them and me,

一起悲傷，一起慶祝，

not being able to express our feelings about it.

一切都是以軍隊為背景。

The military and theater communities are actually very similar.

我看到我的朋友們 在這樣的情況下戰鬥，

You have a group of people trying to accomplish a mission

焦慮在我和他們中間產生，

greater than themselves; it's not about you.

但表達不出我們對它的感覺。

You have a role, you have to know your role within that team.

軍隊和劇院的群體其實非常像。

Every team has a leader or director;

一群人努力要完成一個 比他們自身更偉大的目標，

sometimes they're smart, sometimes they're not.

故事主角不是你。

You're forced to be intimate with complete strangers

你有一個角色，

in a short amount of time;

你必須知道你在團隊裡的角色。

the self-discipline, the self-maintenance.

每個團隊都有一個領隊或導演；

I thought, how great would it be to create a space

有時候他們很聰明，有時候不。

that combined these two seemingly dissimilar communities,

你要強迫自己和完全陌生的人親近，

that brought entertainment to a group of people

在很短的時間裡。

that, considering their occupation,

自我約束，自我維護。

could handle something a bit more thought-provoking

我想，這會很棒， 如果能創建一個空間，

than the typical mandatory-fun events

把這兩個看起來 不一樣的群體放在一起。

that I remember being "volun-told" to go to in the military --

它會給一群人帶來娛樂，

(Laughter)

考慮到他們的職業，

all well-intended but slightly offensive events,

可以讓他們省思的活動，

like "Win a Date with a San Diego Chargers Cheerleader,"

而不是典型的強制性團康。

where you answer a question about pop culture,

我還記得軍中那個 「強迫自願」──

and if you get it right you win a date,

（笑聲）

which was a chaperoned walk around the parade deck

都是本意很好但有些唐突的活動。

with this already married, pregnant cheerleader --

比如「赢取和聖地亞哥閃電隊 啦啦隊長的一日約會。」

(Laughter)

回答一個關於流行文化的問題，

Nothing against cheerleaders, I love cheerleaders.

如果你答對了就赢得一個約會，

The point is more, how great would it be to have theater presented

就是在別人的監護下 在遊行廣場散個步，

through characters that were accessible without being condescending.

和這位已婚懷孕的啦啦隊長──

So we started this nonprofit called Arts in the Armed Forces,

（笑聲）

where we tried to do that,

我並不是針對啦啦隊長，我愛她們。

tried to join these two seemingly dissimilar communities.

重點是，有個劇場出現該有多好，

We pick a play or select monologues from contemporary American plays

透過可親近的角色， 拉近彼此距離而不覺得做作。

that are diverse in age and race like a military audience is,

所以我們發起了這個非營利組織， 叫做「軍營中的藝術。」

grab a group of incredible theater-trained actors,

我們努力，

arm them with incredible material,

努力要把這兩個 完全不一樣的群體融合起来。

keep production value as minimal as possible --

我們從美國當代戲劇中 挑一齣戲或選一些獨白，

no sets, no costumes, no lights, just reading it --

角色包含不同的年齡和種族， 就和軍隊成分一樣。

to throw all the emphasis on the language

邀來一群出色、 訓練有素的戲劇演員，

and to show that theater can be created at any setting.

用很棒的劇本裝備他們，

It's a powerful thing,

以最小的製作成本──

getting in a room with complete strangers

沒有佈景、服裝、 燈光，只是朗讀它──

and reminding ourselves of our humanity,

把所有的重點都放在語言上。

and that self-expression is just as valuable a tool

實際上，任何情境 都可以創造出戲劇效果。

as a rifle on your shoulder.

這非常能感染人。

And for an organization like the military,

進入一間全是陌生人的房間，

that prides itself on having acronyms for acronyms,

用我們的人性提醒自己。

you can get lost in the sauce

而自我表達正是一個 非常有用的工具，

when it comes to explaining a collective experience.

就像肩膀上的來福槍。

And I can think of no better community

像軍隊這樣的機構，

to arm with a new means of self-expression

因為有很多「簡稱的簡稱」而自傲。

than those protecting our country.

在詮釋一種集體經驗的時候， 你很容易迷失在好笑的部分。

We've gone all over the United States and the world,

我想再也找不出一個更好的團體

from Walter Reed in Bethesda, Maryland,

裝備了這麼多自我表達的新方式，

to Camp Pendleton, to Camp Arifjan in Kuwait,

多於保衛國家的武器。

to USAG Bavaria,

我們的足跡遍佈美國和世界，

on- and off-Broadway theaters in New York.

從位於馬里蘭州貝塞斯達的 美國海軍醫療中心，

And for the performing artists we bring,

到彭德頓營， 到科威特的阿里伏強營，

it's a window into a culture

到巴伐利亞美國駐軍，

they otherwise would not have had exposure to.

紐約百老匯或外百老匯劇場。

And for the military, it's the exact same.

對於那些跟隨我們的表演藝術家，

And in doing this for the past six years,

這是一扇文化之窗，

I'm always reminded that acting is many things.

除此以外他們沒有機會打開。

It's a craft, it's a political act, it's a business, it's --

對於軍隊來說，也完全一樣。

whatever adjective is most applicable to you.

在做這件事的六年裡，

But it's also a service.

我時常提醒自己 表演意味著很多事情。

I didn't get to finish mine,

它是一個作品，是一個政治行動， 是一種生意，它是──

so whenever I get to be of service

不論你最想用的形容是甚麼。

to this ultimate service industry, the military, for me, again --

但它同時也是一種侍奉。

there's not many things better than that.

我尚未完成我的。

Thank you.

所以每當我服務於

(Applause)

這個最高級的服務行業，軍隊， 對於我來說，再一次──

We're going to be doing a piece from Marco Ramirez,

沒有甚麼能比這個更好了。

called "I am not Batman."

謝謝。

An incredible actor and good friend of mine, Jesse Perez,

（掌聲）

is going to be reading,

我們將演出馬可．拉米爾茲的作品，

and Matt Johnson, who I just met a couple hours ago.

劇名是 「我不是蝙蝠俠。」

They're doing it together for the first time,

一位出色的演員，也是我的好朋友，

so we'll see how it goes.

傑西．培瑞茲將要朗讀，

Jesse Perez and Matt Johnson.

還有麥特強森， 我們剛剛認識了幾小時。

(Applause)

他們真的是第一次合作表演。

Jesse Perez: It's the middle of the night

所以，我們拭目以待。

and the sky is glowing like mad, radioactive red.

有請傑西．培瑞茲和麥特強森。

And if you squint, you can maybe see the moon

（掌聲）

through a thick layer of cigarette smoke and airplane exhaust

（鼓聲） 傑：午夜，

that covers the whole city,

天空裡射出瘋狂的紅色光輝。

like a mosquito net that won't let the angels in.

如果你眯起眼，也許可以看到月亮。