"My dear friend, Angela, it was a wonderful season at Lakesbury."

「Angela，我親愛的朋友，Lakesbury 季節宜人。」

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have recently come to hear that you and Mr. Heathrow are engaged."

「如果我誤會了請糾正我，但我最近聽說你跟 Heathrow 先生訂婚了。」

"I did not take you for such a conniving, merciless bitch."

「我不知道你是這麼心機重又無情的賤人。」

"I hope you trip on your petticoat, you snake of a woman."

「祝你踩到裙子，你這個蛇女。」

Yeesh. Sounds like a toxic friendship.

天啊，聽起來是一段有毒的友誼。

Everyone in their life has somebody that they need to ditch.

每個人在生命中都有必須丟棄的朋友。

Here are just a few.

以下列出一些。

The Shit-Talker.

愛講壞話的人。

This person talks about everyone behind their backs.

這類人喜歡在別人背後說壞話。

I mean, she's nice and all, but what's with that hair?

我覺得她人很好，但她頭髮是怎麼搞得？

Looks like a crow stuck in a bush.

看起來像烏鴉陷入樹叢裡。

Wanna get fro-yo?

要不要去吃優格冰淇淋？

If they're talking junk about everybody else, they're probably giving you the same treatment.

如果他們講其他人壞話，他們也會這樣對你。

Also, it's just rude as heck to talk about people when they're not around.

而且在別人背後講壞話真的很粗魯無禮。

What are you, 10? Oh. You are.

你十歲嗎？噢，你是。

That's nice.

很好。

You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar, which is why I have so many open jars of honey.

用蜂蜜比醋更容易抓到蒼蠅，這就是為何我有這麼多打開的蜂蜜罐。

I'm gonna have so many flies.

我會抓到很多蒼蠅。

Then there's The Flake.

爽約的人。

This person can never commit to plans, and when they do, they often cancel at the last second, or, are just super late.

這類型的人不會遵守約定，如果他們答應邀約，在最後一刻也會取消，或是很晚才告知。

I'm a little tired actually, but let's hang next time?

我其實有點累，下次再約？

Okay, cool.

好哦。

All right, hello? I'm so in.

嗨？我一定要去。

All right, cool. See you there. Bye.

好，待會見，掰。

If they're not willing to commit to plans with you, then they don't care about you that much.

如果他們不願意跟你守約，代表他們不是很在乎你。

The truth is hard to hear, especially if you're wearing earmuffs, so take those off. They look so dumb.

真話很難聽，特別當你戴著禦寒耳罩，所以拿掉吧，看起來很愚蠢。

What's next?

下一個是什麼？

Jennifer. Jennifer.

Jennifer？

Yeah, where are we?

我們講到哪了？

We are... right here.

我們在這裡。

Oh. Okay, great, yeah.

噢好的。

Okay, you can leave. Get out of here.

好的你可以走了，離開這裡。

The Critic.

愛批評的人。

You really gonna eat those?

你真的要吃那些嗎？

Hey!

嘿！

Ugh, I hate this song.

呃，我討厭這首歌。

Ew! Why is your couch so gross?

嘔！你沙發怎麼這麼噁？

Because I like to eat pudding in comfort, okay?

因為我喜歡舒服地吃布丁，好嗎？

It's totally fine if your pals don't share your interests.

如果你的朋友跟你興趣不同其實沒關係。

I mean, I'm on a swim team and I can't swim.

像我是泳隊的，但我不會游泳。

But, to openly tell someone that the thing they like is boring or dumb, is the trait of a bad friend.

但是直接告訴別人他們喜歡的東西很無聊或愚蠢，是個壞朋友的表現。

If you think any of your friends are worth holding onto, talk to them about the things they do that make you uncomfortable.

如果你覺得這個朋友值得交往，告訴他們那些他們做了讓你不舒服的事

Sometimes, you just have to let go of people, which is hard.

有時候你就是必須捨棄一些人，這很難做到。

A) because change is terrifying, and, B) because making new friends can be scary as hell.

第一，因為改變很可怕，第二，認識新朋友是一件非常恐怖的事。

But what's better?

但是哪個比較好？

Feeling unstable and insecure in toxic friendships, or spending a little time alone?

在有毒的友情中感到不穩定、缺乏安全感或是花點時間獨處？

Squad goals should be about building each other up, not knocking each other down,

群體目標應該是互助成長，而不是擊倒對方，

and if you think you might be one of these friends, take a long, hard look at your choices.

如果你覺得自己是這三類型其中一種 ，仔細思考你的所作所為。

Navigating the rough seas of friendship is hard, because humans are crazy weirdos with no sense.

航行度過友誼的狂風大海很難，因為人類是瘋狂的怪胎，而且不可理喻。

So, bring a map and a compass, and don't go to the old shipyard.

所以，帶著地圖和指南針，但是不要去古老造船所。

You won't like what you'll find.

你不會喜歡你發現的東西。