Welcome to Taiwan Bar

歡迎光臨臺灣吧

Today we're going to talk about selling out Taiwan

今天我們來聊聊這個賣臺

Which um

說到賣臺

Everyone seems to think is a new thing

大家似乎以為是最近的事情

Goto Shinpei thought Taiwanese people were nothing but a bunch of

後藤新平認為，臺灣人的民族性就是

To Taiwanese people nowadays, this description is

愛錢、怕死、愛面子

Yeah, it's pretty on point

這句話此時此刻身為臺灣人的我們聽起來

Who is this Goto Shinpei?

好像有點中肯呢～

That's Kudō Shin-ichi

額？等一下

Their names don't even sound alike!

後藤新平是哪位?

As an intro for Goto Shinpei

那是工藤新一

Let's start our story with

關於後藤新平

The Taiwanese were so close

我們可以從Bonjour開始說起

from bonjouring each other like the French The Taiwanese were so close

只差那麼一點點

from bonjouring each other like the French

我們見面就要像法國人一樣Bonjour Bonjour地喊了

Because

因為

To understand the importance of this

臺灣一度差點被日本賣給法國

Selling Taiwan incident with Mr. Goto Shinpei

紅～豆～～～？

Let's start from how the Japanese Rule in Taiwan started

為了讓大家更了解這個

In 1895

好重要的賣臺事件以及好重要的後藤新平先生

Japan took over Taiwan according to the Treaty of Shimonoseki

我們就先來聊聊好重要的日治初期吧

But couldn't handle Taiwan's crimes

咳咳 開始囉

All the armed resistances

1895年

gave the first few governor-generals a big headache

日本剛以馬關條約接手臺灣

During the first three years of the Japanese Rule

卻完全無法掌握臺灣的治安狀況

governor-generals changed back to back to back

各種大大小小的武裝抗日

Even when the fourth governor-general came to office

讓前幾任總督非常頭痛

He could still hear them blaka blaka blakas

例如總督乃木希典桑就曾經抱怨說

Like Chinese New Year

治理臺灣就好像是

In fact, apart from the resistance

叫化子討到一批馬

The Japanese also got the heebie-jeebies from

又會被踢得半死 --- 得司

Taiwan was hot and wet and filled with cutie little diseases

日治初期總督在短短三年內

Just to give you an idea

換了又換 不停地換

When Japanese troops were busy invading the south in 1895

一路從第一任的樺山資紀

160 people were killed in action

換成桂太郎

More than 500 people were wounded

再換到乃木希典

But those who died from diseases were up to

就算到了第四任的總督兒玉源太郎

You can tell by the numbers how serious the epidemics were

白天辦公外面還可以聽到槍聲四起

On top of the casualties

劈哩啪啦好不快樂呀~

Expenditures were also a big problem

事實上除了春風吹又生的抗日勢力以外

For example, in 1896

還有一個更讓日本皮皮銼的事情 也就是瘟疫

Taiwan's public finance-revenue was less than

臺灣又濕又熱充滿各式各樣五顏六色的傳染病

But the expenditures were up to

像是瘧疾、鼠疫等等等

How are you supposed to make ends meet

舉例來說

when you're spending three times what you make?

日軍在1895年南進掃蕩的時候

Let's clarify something real quick

有160多人戰死

あの

500多人受傷

The Japanese people that came to Taiwan at that time

但因為疾病而死亡的日本人卻有

May be a little different

4 6 0 0 多人！！

from the clean and polite people we know them to be

整整比戰死的人數多了30倍

Because of the hot weather

欸～～超多的

Some Japanese folks stripped down and strolled around

光從人數就可以看出臺灣的傳染病有多嚴重了

Making Taiwanese people feel

除了死很多人

Not to mention

花太多錢也是一大問題

Corruption

舉例來說1896年

Robbery

臺灣的財政收入不到700萬日圓

Messed up po-po's

但支出卻高達2300萬日圓

Let's just say Taiwanese people didn't have a

啊這樣你是要怎麼收支平衡啦！

very high opinion of the Japanese back then

支出整個就是收入的三倍之多

Making it even worse to be colonized by them

等一等

As for the Japanese who were sent there

這裡我們要來小小澄清一下

They felt like soldiers being sent to the Spratly Islands

啊no~

Taiwan didn't have any decent schools, hospitals or houses

當時來臺灣的日本人可能跟我們印象中

But it DID have a bunch of diseases

愛清潔、有禮貌的日本人不太一樣

It was like being in exile

除了臺灣天氣太熱

In fact it was

讓有些日本人只好脫光光晃來晃去

People dying

搞得臺灣人看了覺得羞羞臉以外

Money spending

更不用說

Both made Mr. Nogi Maresuke

貪汙

When people back in Japan started throwing shade at Taiwan

搶劫

The National Diet wanted to sell Taiwan

軍紀敗壞一堆有的沒的壞習慣

for a meager 100 million yen to France

讓臺灣人民打從心裡瞧不起當時的日本人

A debate we call

也加深了臺灣人不爽被殖民的情緒

If Taiwan was actually sold to France

而當時被派來的日本人

We could've ended up eating croissants for breakfast

就像好好一個人，沒事當個大頭兵

And building Eiffel 101's in Taipei

卻抽到南沙指揮部一樣

Just when Taiwan was about to go full bonjour

嗄？南沙指揮部是什麼？ 可以吃嗎？

Even though Taiwan is a hard little nut to crack

不能吃

If we do

臺灣不只沒有合適的學校、醫院、像樣的房子

In the end, the Diet decided to give the government one last chance

傳染病還一大堆

And Kodama took his right hand man to Taiwan

來臺灣就像被流放到邊疆一樣

But at that time, Kodama was also

真的就是 呵呵

So most of the time he wasn't even in Taiwan

話說回來

And the hard work just became Goto Shinpei's job

死太多人

Goto believed that Taiwan must be ruled by

花太多錢

For example

這兩個大問題搞得我們的乃木希典桑

Flatfish have their eyes on the same side

心情非常非常差

But sea breams have their eyes on opposite sides

終於臺灣賠了夫人又折兵的消息傳回日本

How could you force a flatfish to grow its eyes on both sides?

日本國會決定

So let Japanese be Japanese, and Taiwanese be Taiwanese

用大約1億日圓把臺灣賤價賣給Bonjour Bonjour的法國

There's no need to impose Japan's rules on Taiwan

這就是所謂的

Like when you date someone

臺 灣 賣 卻 論 論論論

You also need to get to know them first

如果當時真的賣給法國

Goto decided to take understand the habits of the Taiwanese population

我們現在早餐吃的可能就是可頌

before creating corresponding policies

站在臺北信義區的大概就是101鐵塔了

First of all

而就在臺灣準備要開始Bonjour Bonjour的時候

He started with a bunch of investigations

出現了個兒玉源太郎

Land

兒玉源太郎認為 臺灣是日本南端的屏障，軍事價值高

Demographics

當初為了臺灣我們已經花了那麼多力量

Forestry

死了那麼多人

and old habits to understand Taiwan

絕對不能賣掉

Well...you know

而且雖然治理臺灣非常挫敗

Goto observed how marriage and ownership worked in Taiwan

但是如果把臺灣搞好

as a reference for legislative and judicial systems

日本就可以向船堅炮利的歐美列強證明

blending in like a chameleon on a rainbow

自己也擁有治理殖民地的能力

Now we can finally tell you guys

並以此拿到脫亞入歐的門票

how Goto Shinpei solved the two major problems

最後被說服的國會決定再給政府一次機會

to prevent Taiwan from being sold

誇下海口的兒玉源太郎帶著一個好幫手後藤新平來到臺灣

First off, the money problem

不過因為當時的兒玉源太郎同時兼任了

Thanks to the land investigations

日本國內陸雞

Goto bumped the land rent revenue from

拍謝～日本國內內

to a whopping

入本…嗯…

A threefold growing spurt

日本國路內朱….哈哈哈哈

On the other hand

日本國內陸軍大臣

The Monopoly Bureau was also a huge driving force

根本很少待在臺灣

towards Taiwan's financial autonomy

所以治理臺灣的辛苦工作 大多都在身為民政長官的後藤新平身上啦

The monopoly system meant that

開始囉

only the government could sell certain things

後藤新平主張所謂的生物學原理

and it brought in an average annual income of

舉例來說

mainly from selling

比目魚的眼睛長在同一邊

Especially from opium

可是鯛魚的眼睛長在兩邊啊

Opium got the whole team on his back,

怎麼可以要求比目魚的眼睛硬要分在兩邊呢

LeBron James

所以說日本人就是日本人 、臺灣人就是臺灣人

Filling up the scoreboard

也就不能拿同一種方式來治理

Carrying half the sales

就好像想追人家

By the way

就要先從了解人家的個性開始啊

At that time, opium addiction

是不是啊

was a deeeeep-rooted social problem in Taiwan

後藤新平決定要先好好觀察臺灣人的習性

But to the government

再想出一套因地制宜的治理方式

The business was just easy money

首先

Anyway

他進行了一連串的調查來認識臺灣

Goto Shinpei finally made Taiwan economically self-sufficient

像是土地

What about the public safety problem?

人口

Goto sent a kajillion cops

林野

Like, a lot of cops

還有舊慣調查等等

Like, an ant army of cops

嗄？什麼是舊慣調查？

along with community-based watch systems

臺灣舊有の風俗民情與習慣の調查

and local militia to protect the world from devastation

臺灣舊有の風俗民情與習慣の調查

But Taiwan paid a high price for this so-called “peace”

臺灣舊有……

Taiwanese people lived under police surveillance

藉由日常的觀察試著了解臺灣人的婚姻、財產等等

Common folks had to call the police “Sir”

老老實實地因地制宜

Parents threatened their kids by saying

接下來我們終於可以告訴大家

“The cops are coming!”

為了不讓臺灣被賣掉

And just by seeing the police

後藤新平如何改善日治初期的兩大問題

Everyone wet their pants

首先是錢的部分

Later on, Goto proclaimed the Bandit Punishment Ordinance

後藤新平透過土地調查

giving the police even greater power

讓臺灣的地租收入從原本的86萬日圓

More than 5900 people were arrested

暴增到300萬日圓

and more than 3200 of them were executed

成長3倍多厲害厲害

You can probably guess that Taiwanese people were

另一方面

pretty well behaved after that

專賣事業更是臺灣財政獨立的第一大推手

Now, you probably understand a little bit more about how Kudo

所謂「專賣」就是只有

How Goto Shinpei prevented Taiwan from being sold to France

政府可以賣、民間不行

To sell or not to sell

專賣的年均收入有500萬日圓

Japan weighed its options rationally from a colonial perspective

主要來自 鴉片、食鹽跟樟腦三種

but also with a romantic touch

其中鴉片甚至佔了一半左右

to prove itself to Western countries

順帶一提

Anyhow

當時吸食鴉片

When we look back at specific parts of history

在臺灣一直是很大的社會問題

Avoiding emotional judgments is really important

但因為對政府來說

for us to get closer to the truth

專賣的錢實在是太好賺啦

If Taiwan was actually sold to France

才不會放棄你呢

What would our lives be like now?

總而言之

If you still think that's an easy question to answer...

後藤新平終於使臺灣的財政走向自給自足

Well, we just wasted 7 minutes!

那治安問題呢

Okay

後藤新平改用鋪天蓋地的警察

After all that talking, I'm a bit thirsty

也就是很多很多的警察

Let me drink this sake

比螞蟻還多...的警察

And we'll see you next time

不時搭配保甲制度

Bye!

與壯丁團來維護世界的和平