Whether you're dealing with your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, kids, boss, parents,

family, cousins.

It doesn't matter.

You're always negotiating, so the sooner you become a better negotiator, and learn the

mistakes you're making, the better results you'll start getting when it comes down to

negotiating.

Today, I'm going to talk to you about the 14 common mistakes people make when it comes

down to negotiating.

Now there's a lot more out there.

I'm just giving you 14 of them.

Number one, letting your emotions get in the way when you're negotiating.

Let me explain what I mean by this.

It doesn't matter what it is, if a parent goes to school and is talking to a principal

because their kid did something wrong, the parent always thinks their kids are perfect,

and they don't make mistakes, because it's their product.

The same when you're selling a house to somebody else, you always think your house is worth

more than it really is because it's your house.

You've been living in it for eight years, nine years.

The market would generally tell you what your house is worth, what you car is worth, whatever

you're selling.

You got to figure out a way to put yourself out of the situation and kind of be a consultant

looking in, instead of being somebody that's involved emotionally in it where you don't

typically end up negotiating the proper way.

You can't just let your emotions get into ... Especially if the other person says, "I

think this thing's only worth $4,000."

You think it's $10,000, you're absolutely furious.

You may lose a deal there, and you got to kind of figure out a way what it is.

Number two, misinterpretation of position.

This if very important, because sometimes you're talking to somebody, and they say something,

and you get upset.

They didn't mean what you thought they meant.

Instead of getting upset, ask two, or three, or four more questions, probing questions

to ask them what they mean by this.

"Do you mean this?

Do you mean this?"

"That's not at all what I'm saying.

I'm saying this because of this."

"Oh, I didn't even think about that."

"Okay, no problem."

A lot of times, deals don't go through because there's not enough questions being asked,

because the two parties negotiating misinterpreted each other.

All right, so you you got to make sure you got a lot more questions there so this doesn't

happen.

Number three, research, research, research.

Do as much research as you can.

Let me give you a story here.

We had a case where somebody contacted us.

They wanted me to be in this documentary, and "Oh, this documentary is going to have

a Buddha in it, and Tony Rob ..." All this stuff.

It sounded so fancy, and we want you to be an associate producer, and we're standing

there saying, "Wow this is pretty exciting.

This is something that maybe we'll entertain, want to be a part of," until we found out

that the executive producer that was a part of it had, had a major, major scandal, New

York Times type of scandal, that he was dealing with, from a relationship with a younger girl.

All this other stuff.

The moment we found out, we backed down.

We said, "We're not even doing any business with this."

We almost did.

We almost did because we didn't do research.

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Number four, going to the source.

I like to go to the source.

I remember a long time ago when I was getting contracts with insurance companies, and I

was constantly talking to all these VPs, Vice Presidents.

"Oh yeah, we'll try to get a deal for you.

Oh yeah, we'll try to get a deal for you," and all of a sudden I said, "You know what,

I'm going straight to the source."

I found that every insurance company CEOs, I found that all of these guys are human beings,

like you and I, they have a Linkedin, they have a contact information.

They know people that have information that I know, so I reached out to them.

Eventually I got ahold of the CEOs.

Direct phone.

I spoke to them.

I said, "Listen, here's who I am.

Here's what I'm looking for.

I'm looking for a contract.

I just started a company.

I like our company.

When can we get together and talk?"

"Can you come here tomorrow?"

"Yes."

I flew to Chicago, struck up a deal with the CEO, came back.

We had an insurance company to work with because I went directly to the source.

Many times you got to go straight to the source.

Number five.

Leverage.

Let me tell you what I mean by leverage.

Leverage is knowing who has the leverage.

I've seen people negotiate with people as if they have the power, and they don't.

Let me explain.

Let's just way me and and a bank are having a problem here together.

The bank has given me $50 million for my business, okay?

The bank is absolutely upset with me.

We want our $50 million.

We've given you $50 million and this is our $50 million.

If they push me to the edge, I can file bankruptcy.

They'll lose $15 million.

They need to understand leverage here.

They need to make sure I stay in business, because if I stay in business, I can pay them

back.

That is leverage right there, so you need to know your position of leverage.

Not just necessarily going in and pounding your fist on the table and saying, "This is

what I demand from you."

If you don't have proper leverage, it will work against you.

Number six, not listening.

It's pretty simple.

Sometimes the whole thing about misinterpretation, the more you listen, you'll start seeing signs,

and you'll start seeing exactly what's important to them, and you'll start seeing what they're

not willing to negotiate with.

That will help you get to the final decision sooner.

Number seven, knowing when to walk away, and when not to walk away.

I will tell you from personal mistakes, I have sometimes walked away way too early,

and it cost me millions of dollars.

I have sometimes walked away too late, and it cost me a lot of hours.

Okay?

From experience, you generally make this thing tighter where you'll be able to save more

money, make more money, and save more time, and make more time to do other things.

There are times where you're into it, and you may not like somebody, or you may not

like something that was said, but that doesn't mean you're not going to do business with

them.

Unpeel it a little bit more, and all of a sudden, something could happen.

There's sometimes patience is important.

Many time you can tell a deal and say, "Look, we were just doing a deal," and I told the

guy, "Listen, I want to do this deal, but I'm not going to do based on these guidelines.

If you have something better, honestly go.

I'm just here waiting.

If you want to do some like this, I'm open."

Then we came back two months later, and we ended up doing a deal, because we were patient

about it.

You need to know your position where you are with that.

Number eight.

Too extreme, too soft, too hard.

You push too hard, you're too soft.

If you're too soft, you're showing a weak position.

Maybe your product's not as good.

If you're too hard, maybe the other person says, "This person's going to be difficult

to do business with."

You to to kind of figure out a way to be balanced with them while you're dealing with them.

Number nine.

Understanding the personality.

I was doing a negotiation with this one guy.

He's $100 million guy two weeks ago.

We're on a call.

He interrupts me, three times on a call.

I don't mind it, but he interrupts me three times.

When he interrupted me three times, I interrupted him and I said, "Listen, I just hope your

understand this.

I have zero problem if you interrupt me.

Okay?

I hope you also don't have a problem if I interrupt you."

He said, "I have no problem with that."

Our relationship was so good because we both understood what level we're comfortable and

in negotiation went well.

There are people that will not even interrupt you until you're done with your sentence,

and then you got to know they're expecting the same thing in return.

Sometimes you got to read personalities when you're negotiating on where they're at.

Some people are more sensitive than others.

When you're dealing with more sensitive people, if you still want the deal to get done, you

got to be able to read that other human being better.

Number 10.

Letting people know how you do business.

I told this guy ... Mario reminded me this yesterday, two days ago.

He says, "Pat, you probably said this line hundreds of times in meetings."

I'll sit with somebody I'm doing business with, and I want a long-term relationship

with them.

I'll tell them, I said, "Listen I'm not looking for a one night stand.

I'm done with one night stands.

I'm looking for marriage.

If you want to marry me, why don't we start dating, and then from there possible we will

put a ring on each other, and then one day we'll get married?

I'm looking for a marriage, not a one night stand.

What are you looking for?"

"I also want a marriage."

"Why don't we start solving around this on how we can make this relationship last a long

time so you make millions, we make millions.

Are you okay with that?"

"Yes."

Explain to people how you do business with people.

Number 11.

Caring too much.

This kind of goes a little bit into the emotion side.

When you caring too much about the deal because you have a personal ... Many times a deal

may not get done just because you care way too much about the deal.

12.

Focusing only on the money.

There are a lot of negotiation books out there that want you to get all the money, and all

this other stuff.

Listen, I've played that card as well, where it's all about how much of the money I'm going

to get myself.

Then what happens in this case is that person walks away.

I said this on a call the other day.

I told this guy, I said, "Listen if we do business, two months later I realize you got

the better end of the deal, you're not going to get the better version of me, so what do

you want to do?"

He says, "Yeah, you're right Pat.

That kind of does make sense.

Well what can we do for you not to feel that?"

I said, "Well this is my number."

He says, "Well that's kind of fair."

I said, "Well I want to be able to do this."

I said, "Can you give me this other part?