than a -- a horror movie.

-I feel like we´ve been calling it "horror"

just to kind of prepare people, because it´s --

-Yeah. There are horrifying things --

-It´s horrifying, yeah. -Yeah.

-But it´s not sort of a classic horror film.

-No. -But you are someone --

Do you enjoy going to a --

a sort of more classic horror film?

-No, I can´t --

I saw "Haunting in Connecticut" in, like, 2009,

and I was scared for three years.

-Now this is funny because I know that

"Haunting in Connecticut" is the film that freaked you out.

-It really did. -That´s on --

That´s on nobody´s list of the scariest movies.

-I know. Nobody knows what I´m talking about.

-Yeah, we have a -- I got a poster of "The Haunting" --

-This movie is scary as [bleep] -There´s the poster.

I will say the poster looks pretty scary.

-[ Laughs ] It is. All right.

-What´s -- What´s coming out of his mouth?

-When spirits harden when you´re being possessed,

they come out of your mouth like a root.

-Oh, wow.

-And it´s really scary, scary [bleep]

-And this happened in Connecticut.

[ Laughter ]

I noticed this, which -- this says right here --

-"Some things cannot be explained."

-Oh, but here -- here´s what it was --

-That´s what gets me. -"Based" --

-"Based on true events." -"Based on true events."

-But, by the way, when I saw this,

I´m like, "No, it it´s [bleep] not."

[ Laughter and applause ]

Based on true events?

It´s like based on, like,

one of those peanut cans where a snake comes out.

[ Laughter ]

Like, nobody´s ever like, "Oh, yeah,

that case where the spirit´s root hardened

and then came out of that kid´s mouth."

In Hartford -- it happened in Hartford.

-I wish I had had you in 2009. -Yeah.

I could have taken the edge off it right away.

-I was -- I could not pee without running into my bed,

"They´re coming!" -Oh, my God.

And this is -- you were not --

that´s not long enough ago for you to be a child about this.

-I was like 20 or 21. -Yeah, that´s not okay.

-I´m bad at math. How old was I -- 19?

I don´t know. -So, this --

-I got to -- I can´t sit up straight anymore.

I don´t care if I look bad.

-Yeah, that´s all right. You can give up. That´s fine.

[ Laughter ]

So, this is an incredible cast.

-Yeah. -Outside of yourself,

Javier Bardem, Ed Harris, Michelle Pfeiffer --

stunning, stunning. -Oh, oh.

-Was it -- Was it fantastic or intimidating or both

to work with Michelle Pfeiffer? -I mean, it was fantastic,

but, like, I couldn´t talk to her

for like, you know, three days. -Yeah.

-And then I´d be like, "So, what did you have for breakfast,

and what did you have for dinner last night?

Do you take any vitamins? So..."

-Is that because you --

-She´s just stunning. Her eyes are the color of the Caribbean.

-Yeah. -She´s just --

And she´s so talented.

And I spiked her iced tea one time.

[ Laughter ]

-Now -- Now, why would you spike her iced -- iced tea?

-I hope I don´t seem like an alcoholic.

[ Laughter ]

-No one´s getting that vibe off you.

[ Laughter ]

-Oh, no.

Ohh! I´ve been working very hard.

I haven´t been drinking because I´ve been working every day.

I´ve actually never worked in this state before.

I´ve never been this hung over at work.

Normally I don´t have to work the day after a premiere.

-Yeah. -So last night --

-This is -- by the way -- -I just totally --

-I hope you don´t consider what you´re doing right now work.

[ Laughter ]

-Of course not. -Like, you can show up here --

-I´m here by choice. -Yeah, exactly.

-Yeah. [ Laughter ]

-This could be big, though. -Oh.

-Cheers again. [ Cheers and applause ]

-I called Paramount. [ Both laugh ]

I called them. -You -- Yeah.

-I was like, "Get me on something!"

-You called up the publicist and said, "I need to --"

-I did. I got to.

I know -- I know the premiere was last night, but still.

-Oh, I mean, yeah, this is --

this will be big for the film, though --

the fact that you´re here. -Oh, God.

-I wish I was in sweatpants. This is awful.

[ Laughter ]

-Next time you´re here, full permission to wear sweatpants.

-Okay, thanks. -You also --

a trailer for a new film that you´re in --

Is it "Red Sparrow"? Is that the name of it?

-Yes. -Just came out.

You shot that Budapest. And -- -Yeah.

-I have another drinking story about Budapest, but...

-I know. So, I heard you got in a --

what -- you got in an altercation?

-I got in a bar fight. -A bar fight in Budapest.

-I got in a real bar fight.

-That seems like a dangerous place to get in a bar fight.

-[ Chuckling ] I mean, for him. -Yeah.

[ Laughter ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

-First of all, shout-out to Dream Team --

you know who you are.

We were at a bar, it was Beer Night,

and we -- we had a ton of beers, and we were all drinking.

And this one guy -- I was drunk, which is rare.

-Yeah.

-I was drunk, and this guy asked me for a selfie.

And I was like, "No. Thank you, no."

And then he was like,

"Please, my girlfriend will never believe you."

And my friend was like,

"If your girlfriend won´t believe you,

then she´s not the one."

[ Laughter ]

And -- And so we were like, "Just go away."

And then he goes, "Yeah, well [bleep] you."

And then I just -- I don´t know --

something in me just snapped,

but it couldn´t have been the alcohol.

And I was like, "Did you just say, ´[Bleep] you´ to me?

Did you just say, ´[Bleep] you´ to me?"

And I, like, grabbed him, and I took beers,

and I started dowsing them all over him.

And then he was -- weirdly, he had a suitcase...

-Uh-huh.

-...and, like, went straight to the bar.

And I was like, "Is that your [bleep]?!"

And I started pouring beers all over his suitcase.

And my friend Chris came up, grabbed me from behind.

He goes, "Don´t waste beer. Don´t waste beer."

And I instantly relaxed.

I was like, "Of course. What was I thinking?"

-Yeah. The only -- I really just hope...

[ Applause ] Yeah, that´s fantastic.

-Thanks. -And a good cautionary tale.

-Well...

-I certainly hope, at some point,

one of that guy´s friends got a picture of that.

[ Laughter ]

-My friend was in the bathroom, and he came back.

He´s like, "Did you guys see that guy?

He was all wet and crying."

[ Laughter ]

-Well, it serves him right.

Thank you for being here, as always.

-Is it over? -It´s over. Yeah, you did it.

-All right, bye. -You did it.

[ Cheers and applause ] -[ Laughs ]

-Go get your sweatpants. Jennifer Lawrence, everybody!

"Mother!" in theaters everywhere tomorrow.

We´ll be right back with Caitriona Balfe.

[ Cheers and applause ]

-Oh! -[ Laughs ]

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