and I don't like being 60.

幾年前我快要六十歲的時候

(Laughter)

當然我不像快到六十歲（的人）

And I started grappling

（全場笑）

with this existential angst

我開始帶著一種存在性焦慮

of what little I had done with my life.

開始思考

It wasn't the resume

我過往生命中的那些一事無成

of breaking this record here,

這並不是想在履歷上

it was more like, who had I become?

打破過往的紀錄而已

How had I spent my valuable time?

這更像是，過去我變成了怎樣一個人？

How could this have gone by

我怎樣花費了我寶貴的時間？

like lightning?

往事種種

And I couldn't forgive myself

怎麼就像雷電一樣一閃而過？

for the countless, countless hours

無數，無數的時間

I had lost

被我浪費，被我遺失

in negative thought --

在這一點上我不能原諒我自己

all the time I had spent beating myself up

從負面角度來想－

for losing my marriage

我把所有的時間花在對我自己的嚴厲苛責中

and not stopping the sexual abuse when I was a kid

為我最終失去的婚姻

and career moves

為我童年時期努力免遭性虐待

and this and this and this.

和職業生涯的步步遷移

Just why, why didn't I do it better? Why? Why? Why?

這些，這些，這些！

And then my mother died at 82.

為甚麼，為甚麼我不能做到更好？為甚麼？

And so I starting thinking,

我的母親在八十二歲的時候離世了

not only am I not happy with the past,

於是我開始思考

now I'm getting choked with,

不僅僅因為我對過去感到不滿

"I've only got 22 years left."

我現在更因為

What am I going to do with this short amount of time

“我只剩下22年的生命”而感到惶恐和壓抑

that's just fleeting?

在這段轉瞬即逝的短短時間裡

And I'm not in the present whatsoever.

我應該做些甚麼？

And I decided the remedy to all this malaise

不管怎樣我沒有活在當下

was going to be

我嘗試對這些失落進行補救

for me to chase

對我來說

an elevated dream,

就像是去追逐

an extreme dream,

一個高遠的

something that would require

極致的夢想

utter conviction

這些事情需要我

and unwavering passion,

絕對的信念

something that would make me

和不動搖的熱忱

be my best self

這些事情同時也會

in every aspect of my life,

讓我成為更好的自己

every minute of every day,

在我生活的每一個方面

because the dream was so big

每一分鐘每一天

that I couldn't get there

因為這個夢想實在太龐大

without that kind of behavior and that kind of conviction.

如果缺少這樣的行為和這樣堅定的信念

And I decided,

我就永遠無法到達

it was an old dream that was lingering,

我認為

that was from so many years ago,

這是一個被延遲的舊夢

three decades ago --

從好多年前開始

the only sort of world class swim

從三十年前－

I had tried and failed at back in my 20s --

唯一一種世界級的游泳

was going from Cuba to Florida.

我曾經在我二十幾歲嘗試過但最終失敗的－

It was deep in my imagination.

是從古巴游到佛羅里達

No one's ever done it without a shark cage.

深深地印在我的想象中

It's daunting.

每一個達到目標的人都遇過鯊魚侵擾

It's more than a hundred miles across a difficult passage of ocean.

這讓人畏縮

It's probably, at my speed, at my age --

這需要游超過一百英里穿越海洋中最難通過的一段

for anybody's speed at anybody's age --

以我的速度，在我的年齡，這可能－

going to take 60, maybe 70, hours

以任何人的速度以任何人的年齡－

of continuous swimming,

需要持續的游泳

never getting out on the boat.

超過60，或者是70小時

And I started to train.

中途不能中斷上船

I hadn't swum for 31 years, not a stroke.

於是我開始訓練

And I had kept in good shape, but swimming's a whole different animal.

我已經31年沒有游泳了，沒有划一下

As a matter of fact,

雖然我仍然保持著不錯的體形，但是游泳卻是全然不同的運動

this picture is supposed to be me during training.

事實上

It's a smiling face.

這張照片上的我是在訓練中

And when you're training for this sport, you are not smiling.

一張笑臉

(Laughter)

但是當你真正訓練的時候，你可笑不出來

It's an arduous, difficult sport,

（全場笑）

and I don't remember smiling

這是一項枯燥的，困難的運動

at any time during this sport.

我不記得我在進行這項運動當中的任何時候

As I said, I respect other sports,

曾經笑過一下

and I compare this sport sometimes

正如我所說，我尊敬其他的運動

to cycling and to mountain climbing

並且有時候我把這項運動

and other of the expedition type events,

和騎自行車或登山

but this is a sensory deprivation,

以及其他的遠足運動進行對比

a physical duress.

但這是一項對感官進行剝奪

And when I started in

對身體進行摧殘的運動

with the eight hours and the 10 hours and the 12 hours

當我開始時

and the 14 hours and the 15 hours and the 24-hour swims,

我8小時，10小時，12小時

I knew I had it,

甚至14小時，15小時，24小時的游

because I was making it through these.

我知道我必須去做

And when I said I'm going to go out and do a 15-hour swim,

因為只有經過這些我才能達到目標

and we're coming into the dock after a long day

有一次我說我要出去游15個小時

and it's now night,

游了一整天已經是晚上了

and we come in and it's 14 hours and 58 minutes

我們進入一個船塢

and I can touch the dock and we're done,

當我們游到時候已經是14小時58分鐘

the trainer says, "That's great.

而且我已經碰到岸了

It's 14 hours 58 minutes. Who cares the last two minutes?"

訓練師也說：“很好。”

I say, "No, it's got to be 15 hours,"

“現在已經游14小時58分鐘了，誰會在乎那最後的兩分鐘？”

and I swim another minute out and another minute back

但我說：“不行，一定要滿15小時。”

to make the 15 hours.

於是我另外游了一分鐘再花另一分鐘游回來

And I put together an expedition.

游滿15個小時

It's not that I didn't have help,

然後我集結了一個探險隊

but honestly, I sort of led, I was the team leader.

雖然表面上我沒有請求幫助

And to get the government permissions,

但事實上，我有一點，當然我也是領隊

you read in the paper,

於是我得到了政府的允許

you think it's easy to get into Cuba everyday?

你看過報上寫吧？

Try going in with an armada like we had

你覺得每天進入古巴很容易嗎？

of 50 people and five boats

試著尾隨艦隊看看

and CNN's crew, etc.

就像我們一樣有50個人和5條船

The navigation is difficult.

還有CNN的一群人之類的

There's a big river called the Gulf Stream

游起來非常困難

that runs across

那兒有一條很大的洋流叫“墨西哥灣流”

and it's not going in the direction you are.

它橫穿過墨西哥灣

It's going to the east and you'd like to go north.

並且不是流向你想游去的地方

It's tricky.

這就像它往東流你要往北游

And there's dehydration.

游起來很困難

And there's hypothermia.

並且要克服脫水

And there are sharks.

還要克服失溫

And there are all kinds of problems.

那兒還有鯊魚

And I gathered together, honestly,

並且還有各種各樣的問題

the world's leading experts in every possible way.

說真的，我把世界級的專家們

And a month ago,

用各種方法聚集在一起幫助我

the 23rd of September,

一個月前

I stood on that shore

9月23日

and I looked across

我站在岸邊

to that long, long faraway horizon

望向那

and I asked myself,

長長的，遙遠的海平線

do you have it?

並且問我自己

Are your shoulders ready?

你可以麼？

And they were. They were prepared.

你的肩膀準備好了麼？

No stone left unturned.

是的，是的

Was the mind ready?

它們做好了全部的準備

You know, you're swimming with the fogged goggles,

你的心志準備好了麼？

you're swimming at 60 strokes a minute,

你要戴著這副滿布水霧的泳鏡

so you're never really focused on anything, you don't see well.

一分鐘你要划60下

You've got tight bathing caps over your ears

所以你絕不會注視甚麼，你也看不太清

trying to keep the heat of the head,

你那緊繃的泳帽會覆蓋過你的耳朵

because it's where the hypothermia starts,

保持頭部的溫度

and so you don't hear very well.

因為這是體溫開始降低的地方

You're really left alone with your own thoughts.

同時你也聽不太清

And I had all kinds of counting systems ready there

這時候你真的只剩下自己的想法陪伴你

in English, followed by German,

並且我已經備了各種計時系統

followed by Spanish, followed by French.

英語的，然後是德語

You save the French for last.

接著是西班牙語，法語

And I had songs, I had a playlist in my head --

把法語保存在最後一個

not through headphones, in my own head --

我也準備了一些歌曲，我的腦海裡有一個歌曲播放單－

of 65 songs.

不是通過耳機，而是在我的腦海裡

And I couldn't wait to get into the dark in the middle of the night,

有65首歌

because that's when Neil Young comes out.

我迫不及待想要鑽進那深夜的一片黑暗中

(Laughter)

因為這是尼爾·楊出來的地方

And it's odd, isn't it?

（全場笑）

You'd think you'd be singing Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah"

這很奇怪，不是麼？

out in the majesty of the ocean,

你以為在波濤洶湧的大海裡

not songs about heroin addiction in New York City.

你會唱李奧納德·科恩的哈利路亞

But no, for some reason

而不是關於在紐約嗑藥的歌

I couldn't wait to get into the dark of the night

但因為一些原因

and be singing,

我迫不及待想鑽入夜一般的黑暗里

♫ "A heard you knocking at my cellar door ♫

唱著

♫ I love you baby and I want some more ♫

你敲擊我地下室的門♫

♫ Ooh, ooh, the damage done" ♫

我愛你寶貝我想要更多♫

(Applause)

噢，噢，你傷害了我♫

The night before I started,

（掌聲）

I finished Stephen Hawking's "The Grand Design."

啓程的前夜，

And I couldn't wait

我讀完了史蒂芬霍金的《大設計》

to trip the mind fantastic.

於是我迫不及待

About the 50th hour,

想要遨遊於腦海中的幻想世界

I was going to start thinking about the edge of the universe.

第50個小時

Is there an edge?

我開始思考宇宙的邊緣

Is this an envelope we're living inside of,

它確實存在嗎？

or no, does it go onto infinity in both time and space?

我們存在于有限的束縛中

And there's nothing like swimming for 50 hours in the ocean

又或者，時間和空間都趨向于無限？

that gets you thinking about things like this.

除了在海洋中游泳50個小時

I couldn't wait to prove the athlete I am,

其他時候你根本不會去思考這些問題

that nobody else in the world can do this swim.

我急切地想要證明我是一個與眾不同的游泳選手

And I knew I could do it.

並且世界上沒有任何人能完成這種游泳

And when I jumped into that water,

我確信我能做到

I yelled in my mother's French, "Courage!"

當我跳入水中

And I started swimming,

我用我母親所說的法語大聲喊，勇氣！

and, oh my God, it was glassy.

當我開始游泳

And we knew it, all 50 people on the boat,

噢，天哪，這跟玻璃似的

we all knew this was it,

並且我們知道，在船上的50個人

this was our time.

都知道

And I reminded myself a couple hours in,

大顯身手的時候來了

you know, the sport is sort of a microcosm of life itself.

幾個小時內我不斷提醒自己

First of all, you're going to hit obstacles.

你知道，進行這種運動其實就是體驗一種小型的人生

And even though you're feeling great at any one moment,

首先，你將會遇到障礙

don't take it for granted, be ready,

並且即使在你感覺良好的時候

because there's going to be pain, there's going to be suffering.

也不要認為這是理所當然，要準備好

It's not going to feel this good all the way across.

因為你即將承受痛苦和煎熬

And I was thinking of the hypothermia

事情不可能一帆風順

and maybe some shoulder pain

與此同時我想到了失溫現象

and all the other things --

並且可能伴隨一些肩痛症狀

the vomiting that comes from being in the saltwater.

還有其他的那些－

You're immersed in the liquid.

在海水中可能會想要嘔吐

Your body doesn't like the saltwater.

你被完完全全地浸入液體中

After a couple of days, three days,

你的身體不喜歡海水

you tend to rebel

經過幾天，三天

in a lot of physical ways.

你的身體

But no, two hours in,

從各種身體機能方面都開始反抗

wham! Never in my life ...

但才剛剛過兩個小時

I knew there were Portuguese men o' war,

噢！一件從沒發生在我身上的事情發生了....

all kinds of moon jellies, all kinds of things,

我知道葡萄牙人肯定會懂

but the box jellyfish from the southern oceans

那些海月水母，那些東西都來蜇我

is not supposed to be in these waters.

但是那些來自南方海域帶有劇毒的箱型水母

And I was on fire --

不應該出現在這裡

excruciating, excruciating pain.

與此同時我的身體像著火一樣－

I don't know if you can still see

如此劇烈的疼痛

the red line here and up the arm.

我不知道你是否還能看到

Evidently, a piece this big of tentacle

我手臂上的紅色傷口

has a hundred-thousand little barbs on it

很明顯，那些巨大的觸器的某一段曾蜇到我

and each barb is not just stinging your skin,

觸器上面有成百上千的倒鉤

it's sending a venom.

這些倒鉤不僅僅蜇你的皮膚

The most venomous animal that lives in the ocean

它還輸送毒汁

is the box jellyfish.

海裡最毒的生物

And every one of those barbs

就是箱型水母

is sending that venom into this central nervous system.

它觸器上的每一個倒鉤

So first I feel like boiling hot oil,

都會輸送毒汁到人體的中央神經系統

I've been dipped in.

所以一開始我感覺像在熱油裡沸騰一樣

And I'm yelling out, "Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!

渾身都劇烈的疼痛

Help me! Somebody help me!"

於是我大喊，“好疼！好疼！”

And the next thing is paralysis.

“救救我！有沒有人能救救我！”

I feel it in the back and then I feel it in the chest up here,

接著我感覺身體痲痹了

and I can't breathe.

剛開始是背部接著是前胸

And now I'm not swimming with a nice long stroke,

我快要窒息了

I'm sort of crabbing it this way.

現在我不再是以優雅的姿態游泳了

Then come convulsions.

我有點像一只張牙舞爪的螃蟹

A young man on our boat is an EMT. He dives in to try to help me.

接踵而至的是猛烈的抽搐

He's stung.

船上有一個年輕人是急診醫師，他跳下水企圖幫助我

They drag him out on the boat,

但他也被蜇了

and he's -- evidently, I didn't see any of this -- but lying on the boat

他們把他拖到船上

and giving himself epinephrine shots

然後他－事實上當時我看不見這些－但他躺在船上

and crying out.

給自己打腎上腺素

He's 29 years old,

並且大聲哭喊

very well-built, lean, he's six-foot, five,

他是一個29歲的青年

weighs 265 lbs.,

有一個好身材，精瘦，6.5英尺高

and he is down.

體重265磅

And he is crying and he's yelling to my trainer

然而他倒下了

who's trying to help me.

接著他哭著並且向我的訓練師大喊

And he's saying, "Bonnie, I think I'm going to die.

而我的訓練師正忙著救我

My breath is down to three breaths a minute.

他說，“邦尼，我覺得我快死了”

I need help, and I can't help Diana."

“我的呼吸降至一分鐘三次”

So that was at eight o'clock at night.

“我需要幫助，並且我不能救戴安娜了”

The doctor, medical team from University of Miami

那時候是晚上8點

arrived at five in the morning.

邁阿密大學的醫生和救護隊

So I swam through the night,

早上5點才能到達

and at dawn they got there and they started with prednisone shots.

所以我游了一整晚

I didn't get out,

黎明的時候他們到了，給我打類固醇強體松

but was in the water taking prednisone shots, taking Xanax,

我上不了船

oxygen to the face.

我在水中打強體松，服用贊安諾（精神用藥）

It was like an ICU unit

戴上氧氣罩

in the water.

這就像是一個

(Laughter)

水中的加護病房

And I guess the story is

（全場笑）

that even Navy SEALS who are stung by the box jelly,

其實我覺得

they're done.

即使是海軍陸戰隊隊員被箱型水母蜇過以後

They either die or they quickly get to a hospital.

可能都會一命嗚呼

And I swam through the night and I swam through the next day.

他們不是死了就是被緊急送往醫院

And the next night at dusk,

但我卻游了一整個晚上，還游了第二天一整天

again, wham!

然而在第二天黃昏的時候

The box jelly again --

水母又來了！

all across the neck, all across here.

箱型水母再次－

And this time,

蜇過我的脖子，我的皮膚

I don't like it, I didn't want to give into it,