Hey, it's Pewdiepie the best youtuber ever I have the most subscribers, so that's how it works. STFU (more face)

嘿我是PewDiePie!史上最成功及最多訂閱者的YouTuber。就是這樣啦不爽B嘴

Today we're going to talk about streaming (wait for it...)

我們今天的主題是實況

streaming "fails" (wheeze)

實況中的"失誤"

The thing that I love about uhhh

我很喜歡的這個，額

stream fails

實況失誤

Specifically is because it doesn't matter if it's one frame

特別是因為，他們不只是一瞬間的失誤

Okay, one frame you fuck up it's on the internet forever, and you're going to get shit for it

這一瞬間的失誤會在網路上永遠流傳 而你也會因此遇到很多狗屎事

now I have never made that mistake before I would never be that fucking stupid

至今我還未曾犯過這些錯誤，我還沒那麼笨

* pewds being disgusting *

*嗝*

that I would do something dumb like

笨到做出像是......

accidentally showing my porn history in a video

意外地在影片中秀出我的A片瀏覽紀錄

Mission failed!!

*任務失敗*

First one. I love this video. I love this video so much. It's one of my favorite. It's this fucking

來看第一個。 我好愛好愛這支影片，是我最喜歡的一個。

streamer who gets caught for

這位該死的實況主，被抓到正在使用透視外掛 跟其他的外掛

Using Wallhack and some other hacks as she said playing with a hack without knowing that

她的說法是並不知道有在使用外掛

the stream actually sees her using the hack

但是影片秀出了她在使用的過程

Pewds: and let's just watch. Girl: Stop shooting. P: Oh wow okay. What is that?

P:讓我們來看看 女:不要再射我啦!!!! P:哇，好喔這是什麼呢?

You motherfucker (what a dumbass)

女:你這王八!

*Watches a fellow sister fister play*

女:你這王八!

She's not actually hacking. She's just so good at the game that she can automatically see the health bar and through Walls

她其實沒在開掛啦。她只是太會玩這遊戲所以能自動的 透視並看到別人的血條

this is

這

Women for you, they are so good at games

這就是女人啦...她們玩遊戲超強的...

They can't help it

P:這也沒辦法 女:啊啊啊殺小啊我剛剛幹嘛換彈啊

*girl screaming* WHY DID I RELOAD WTF

沒錯。你幹嘛換彈?我想這才是問題所在

That's right. Why did you reload that was the issue there? I think I don't man

非常的謝謝你，歡迎收看"餃子帝國"， 我是Miss Q Gemini

Thank you very much, though welcome to the Dumpling Empire

"餃子帝國"，我的一個... 要批評這個鏡頭對我來說真的很痛苦

my name is Miss Q gemini. The dumpling empire, one of my -it really hurts for me to break down this footage because I

因為我曾經也是餃子帝國的一份子。

Myself used to be part of the dumpling empire (no way)

P:餃子帝國是我待過的最喜歡的帝國了*假掰* 女:我們試著不要成為嫩逼

My favorite Empire to be part of the dumpling empire we're trying to not be a noob (are you fucking retarted)

"我們試著不要成為嫩逼"

We're trying to not be a noob

所以開外掛!!!

by using wall hacks

還自嘲咧! "窩在試著不要成為嫩逼雖然目前看起來我玩得挺好的。"

The self-deprecation, I am trying not to be a noob even though I am kind of good at this game

因為你她媽的用外掛啊婊子!!!!

because you are using fucking wall hack.

為了從人們那裡得到抖內你會有多不誠實?

How dishonest can you be at collecting donations?

00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,280 而同時，你還玩遊戲作弊

from people

我超討厭有人玩遊戲作弊的因為... 好吧我先收回前一句話

Simultaneously, just fucking cheating up the game

如果你只是想這樣搞某人我會尊重你 像是你想讓對方失落惱怒之類的我還能理解

It's so annoying to me when people cheat in games because okay, okay. You know what I'll take that back

但是為了假裝自己超屌而作弊就完全只有蠢字可言。 超難堪的好嗎

I sort of respect cheating in games if you just want to fuck people over you know want to upset them piss them off I

我沒辦法再繼續跟餃子帝國站同邊了

Can sort of understand that but when you just cheat to pretend that you're good that's just fucking stupid. Oh, that's just cringey man

00:02:40,580 --> 00:02:47,480 但是我最喜歡的部分是當她發現自己被抓到後 她開始把一切都怪到她朋友身上

I can't I can't stand beside the dumpling army any longer for that.

00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:51,100 看看她的臉。喔!

But my favourite bit is when she realized she got caught and she tried to blame it off her friend. (how stupid can you get)

女:大伙們，你們玩CSGO有遇到個奇怪的BUG嗎? P: *假掰聲* YO你們在CSGO有遇過這個BUGㄇ??

Look at her face. Oh

你能穿牆透視兩個回合還不跟人家坦白

G: Yo, you guys ever get that weird glitch in CSGO. (Pewds mocking): Yo, you guys ever get that weird glitch in CSGO.

P:當下你都做了什麼呢?? 女:她會顯示你的等級，顯示了所有人的等級

Where you see through the walls for two fucking rounds, and then don't acknowledge it

P:喔他會顯示所有人的等級喔

But then all the sudden you're stupid, where it shows your rank, it shows everyone's rank.

P:某天你玩的時候

P: Oh, it shows everyone's rank. G: I played the other day. P: uh-huh G: I played the other day with

女:然後突然間他的就會顯示然後我的也會顯示了

You played the other day

女:我不-我不知道發生什麼事 P:這一定是某些電腦病毒自動下載然後你就可以透視了!

I don't know what it must have been some sort of computer virus that installed itself and then you just didn't see it.

女:好奇怪 P:對啊好奇怪，真奇怪喔

That's weird, that is weird.

女: 齁等等!殺小啊!? P: *模仿* 殺小啊?

Wait, what the fuck? Oh what the fuck okay? Well? What's the excuse number two please tell me Clara Clara?

好了 二號藉口是什麼呢? 請告訴我吧 女:Clara?!

Fucking Clara I've been telling you guys about her for so long fucking Clara cannot be trusted

P:Clara *笑*

What does she do hold on Clara give me one second all right? Where is this?

他馬的Clara 我已經聽你們講她好久了 看來他馬的Clara無法信任喔

How do I close this yo Rock I need some help because I don't know what I'm looking at right now.

她到底做了什麼? 女:等等Clara，等我一下 P:好喔

What the fuck is that, hello?

女:這是哪?我要怎麼關掉這個? 呦Rock 我需要幫忙因為我不知道我現在在看什麼

I need to text my friend Clara right now. She was at my house the other day. What the actual fuck?

那是殺小 哈囉???

I love the top comment under this video Clara. Sorry

我需要傳簡訊問一下我朋友Clara 她今天稍早還在我家的 現在到底是衝殺小?

Yo Rock, do you remember do you remember when fucking Clara got the fucking VAC ban? I'm going to kill this girl.

我喜歡影片頂置的留言 Clara:"抱歉"

She promised me. [some dumb excuses]

*笑*

She was here today, and I was watching her

呦Rock 你-你還記得踏馬的Clara是什麼時候 被 VAC ban嗎?我要把這女的殺了

Why the fuck why the fuck this is what happens when you let people use your PC. Can't trust them alright

她跟我保證他不會在電腦上用的 我玩完了

That's such so mean to Clara like this fucking girl.

她今天還在這裡，我明明也看著她

It's so fucking.. oh my God

他馬的為什麼-他馬的為什麼?! 這就是你讓人用你電腦會發生的事 真的不能相信他們。

So one of my nightmares with streaming is that you would accidentally leave the stream on, and then you do something horrible

這樣-這樣真的對 Clara好壞喔 還有這個女的

Something you're not supposed to do, something not Christian

女:我想呃---我想就這樣了 我要呃-- P:這太他馬--喔買尬

and everyone sees it, but this girl clearly

女:我現在要登出了

fakes it, that's the case and it's so fucking obvious when you look it look at it. Yeah, I think

所以直播中的其中一個噩夢就是你會突然跳出直播畫面 然後你做的一些可怕事情

I think this is it I'm going

某些你不該做的事

yeah, I think this is it I am going to go away now, to uh

然後呃 大家都會看到，但這女的很明顯就是

I'm going to log off now and

在裝傻 。當你看到時就是那-那-那 就是那麼明顯 女:但 對啊，我想呃------

Have a nicely.. have a good night's sleep

我想就這樣了，我要--

I am going to go away. I am going to have a nice sleepy and nothing else

P: *模仿* 好的，我想就這樣了!我要離開了

I will go and sleep

女:去呃--

No, not continue streaming, and no masturbating yeah, you guys

我現在要登出了然後

Yeah, wait. I just realized this video

*pewds笑翻*

Got age-restricted so that means if I show what's about to happen

去睡個好覺

My video will be age restricted and fuck that you can look it up yourself. She comes back. She plays her fiddle

P: *模仿* 我要離開了! 我要去睡個好覺然後我什麼都不做

Okay, but it's not only the women of course we're going this is also a classic

就是離開 然後去睡搞搞了

This one didn't get age-restricted though

(*´д`)~♥

It's just funny when he when when guys does it, what is up everyone?

什麼都不做ㄌ! 不繼續直播，然後不自慰了! 女: 有空的話，希望呃，你們大家

Hello, hello and welcome all

也還會在這--

cameras on

對 P:等等我剛剛才意識到這影片

cue the Seinfeld

有年齡限制欸 所以代表說如果我秀出等等要發生的事

hahaha

我的影片也會被標年齡限制然後就糟了，你可以自己看 她就是回來 拉她的小提琴

Oh the cameras how long have you been watching did you see all of that?

好喔，呃但這也不是唯一的女的 我們繼-*笑* 這也是個經典

But you know streaming isn't that bad it's not like actually bad things happen, wait home invasion caught on twitch

這個沒被設年齡限制啦 這是呃--

What where do people live, Jesus Christ.

只是很有趣當他在-當-當人們這樣做 男:大家怎麼樣啊?

Jesus, oh my god

哈囉，哈囉 歡迎 *像豬叫的吸氣*

This music is fucking awesome

喔相機開了啊

Anyone know what song this is?

*笑*

really like this tune (it's pretty nice)

巴勒貝貝貝 引用自歡樂單身派對的

Really good

*笑*

I'm joking I hope she's okay. I think she is I she made a video about it afterwards at the time

*模仿* 喔相機開著!你看多久了?你全看到了嗎?

I didn't know what was going on. They were supposed to go to someone else like their targets. They were probably after a youtuber

但你知道，直播也沒那麼壞啦 也其實沒那麼多爛事發生 等等，【直播中有人入侵家門】?

They make more money. I have a gun right now, that was actually really close.

啥啊?人們都住在哪啊?老天鵝喔

And our car speeds off a car

女:喔!什麼啊?

Just sped off, I think my neighbors [inaudible]

00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:49,280 老天鵝 喔買尬

Let me go check actually hold on I might need to grab a gun just in case but I think it's a drug

這音樂真他馬的讚欸

They see where my knife at you. We get it just

有人知道這是什麼歌嗎?

A drive-by no big deal.

真的很愛這個調欸

This this clip kind of annoys me

超棒的 (pewds人家都亮槍了啦)

Maybe because I don't I don't know exactly what is happening, but there's some drive-by hear some gunshots

我開玩笑的我希望她沒事啦 不過她一定沒事 她之後還做了個影片呢 女:在那個時候-----

And he's like let me just get my knife let me just get my gun

我不知道發生什麼事。 他們應該是去別人那裡的 像他們的目標

Has this nibba not heard of swatting, okay police comes in and you have a gun you're gonna get fucking shot

他們可能覺得一個youtuber

That seems like a terrible idea to have a gun next to you when you fucking stream

會賺比較多錢 男:我現在有槍，其實那真的非常接近了

Right am I the only one thinking like this, so there's this audio clip

然後有車飆過去了 一台車

That sounds exactly like someone is knocking on your door if you have headphones on it will trick you

剛剛飆過去 我覺得我的鄰居被座車槍殺了欸....你知道

100% so it knocks here, and then you'll obviously be like this

讓我-讓我去確認下。等等，我可能要拿把槍以防萬一 但我覺得只是有人被座車槍殺

and then it goes in this ear a little less it really sounds like something is coming from there like it sounds super real and

還是拿刀好了 讓我拿把刀

Some people send these to streamers, and it tricks them and the reaction is just fucking hilarious

其他人:我想只是座車槍殺案吧 沒什麼大不了的啦

It sounds real good, and then they just fucking hide

這-這片段有點惹惱我

But never this big guy, just grabs a gun in his truck if I had a gun next to me

可能因為我沒-我沒搞清楚到底發生什麼 但有座車槍殺案，聽到點槍聲

I throw in the fuck away, I'm like. I'm not that's not mine

然後他就像:"'讓我拿把刀，讓我拿把槍"

Look, how can you wear the wrong do have guns fuck man?

這白癡沒聽過報假警嗎?好，然後警察來了 看到你有槍你就被他馬射死了好嗎

Do you want to get shot? I don't get it man. Oh

當你在他馬實況的時候 身邊有把槍好像真的不是什麼好主意喔

Man, is that you got you son of a bitch. Oh, you got me

*口吃*

fucked

對吧?難道只有我這樣想嗎? 所以這有個音檔片段

Look at it. You could've got next to him dude. You're destroyed man

那個聲音就像有人在敲門 如果你有戴上耳機它

You can't do that with her fucking huh? I don't know why bothers me

100%就會這樣 所以如果敲這邊，你就會直接看向那裡

Did you not see what happened to this dude at 11:07 on your side?

聲音進入這耳的聲音也會變小。 所以真的會聽起來像有東西在靠近，聽起來也會很真實

Exclusive a shot between the eyes, and I mistaken police response. It's an alarming new Crime trend in our area

有些人就會告訴實況主然後耍他們 *笑* 他們的反應真的好笑到靠北

Jesus Christ man why do I have to tell people to do it right? Oh my God this fucking thing, okay?

*敲敲*

Let's finish for this one. This is probably one of my favorite

聽起來很真啊

Because it's so confusing

其他人:老天啊! 他們就這樣他馬躲起來了

so this streamer

P:但這傢伙，直接就抓起槍了-*語無倫次* 如果我身邊有把槍

I think the context here is that she was playing dark souls which you can tell here by the giant window of Gameplay and

我就會給他丟遠遠，我會，我不-那不是我的!!!!!!

She was getting drunk but for some reason and I can't what I want to know why cuz I don't understand what she decided to

看，多麼-為啥每個人就直接抓槍了? 靠腰喔，老兄!

stream herself

你想要被射死ㄇ? 我不懂啊，老兄

walking up the stairs in

其他人:喔，他死了 實況主:你們--喔你這小婊子 P: * 模仿* 喔，你整到我了

in crutches

*笑*

Now

三小啊

Here's the thing about that that I don't understand

看看這個 他旁邊就有槍啊! 老兄你是個實況主欸!!!!!

first of all seeing a girl walking up the stairs this

你不能就那樣他馬的--*笑* *嘆* 我不知道為什麼我會生氣

It's not that attractive, okay

你沒看見這老兄發生什麼事嗎?

It's not like I'm always like oh my fucking God

射到眼睛中央啦 新聞: 這是起報假警的案件! 是在我們區域緊急的新犯罪趨勢!

I can see a little better angle of that ass, like it's not that great, okay

老天鵝啊老兄 為什麼我必須這樣告訴人們 喔買尬這他馬的事

I understand the whole thing that they figured out that they can do on twitch where they like have a whiteboard and they

我們用這個結束吧 大概是其中一個我最喜歡的

Bend over, they're like

*笑* 因為很讓人困惑啊

Can sort of understand that but just walking up the stairs that is not attractive, okay? It's not sexy

所以 這個實況主

but the thing is

我想情節是她在玩黑暗靈魂 可以在這個大視窗看到遊戲畫面，然後

She just doesn't walk up stairs. She walk up the stairs in fucking crutches. That's like. It's not sexy

她是醉了 但因為某些原因，我無法--我想知道為什麼 因為我不曉得為什麼 她決定要

You look like a fucking retard. What are you doing? Why is she doing this?

實況她自己

If I came into this stream now, I'd be like is that a girl in special needs like what's wrong with her?

走上樓梯

Is she trying to show what a struggle it is to walk up the stairs when a ... is a handicap

用拐杖

Is that what this is about?

現在 我不懂的事來了 *笑*

How does the thought go I'm going to put a camera here?

首先，看一個女孩上樓梯

So that people live can watch me walk up the stairs in crutches now. How does that make any sense?

沒那麼吸引人 好嗎?

I don't understand. I'm so confused

不會好像我隨時"喔他馬的老天鵝喔"

but then it keeps going

"我可以從好一點的角度看到那屁屁" 不會那麼棒好嗎?

Because her boyfriend, sodapoppin bless his soul

我理解他們想出來可在Twitch做的整件事就像 拿著白板然後

Yes, it's this fake it feels like I'm watching a big brother reality show some shit, but I'm well entertained

彎腰像這樣:

I hope I hope it is. He comes in super pissed about this

*高音* "喔讓我把它放在這兒"

Walking up these steps your ass

我有點可以理解，但實況上樓梯?一點也不吸引人好嗎? 一點也不性感，但事情是---*笑*

"How was I supposed to know that" well, I hope they worked it through

她不只走上樓梯 她用著拐杖上樓梯 那就像--*笑* 一點都不性感

I hope they got through whatever the fuck that was because that can't be fun to have life, but anyway

看起來很像智障 你洗勒衝啥? 為什麼他要這樣做? *笑*

That's just some of my favorite streaming moments. I had plenty more but I think we're out of time

如果我在現場，我一定會這樣想 "那女的是有啥特殊需求嗎?她是有什麼毛病?"

We're not really out of time, but we hit the 10-minute mark

"她是想表示有障礙的情況下走上樓梯是件難事嗎?"

So you know it's time for me to go and then fuck off and play some pub G anyway

這是她要表達的嗎?

Thank you guys for watching leave a like and sister fister and all that shit. I'll see you tomorrow with another video

到底是為什麼會想說 "我要在這裡放個相機"

Sister Fister©

"然後線上的人就可以看我用拐杖爬樓梯" 那-那怎麼會符合邏輯啊