but we can't look like tourists.

但我們不能看起來像死觀光客一樣

I gotta pack in outfits, you know?

我要帶一些正裝去

What if we get invited to some VIP event?

不然如果我們被邀請去一些 VIP 的場所怎麼辦？

You think we'll go on a picnic while we're there?

你覺得我們在那邊會去野餐嗎？

- I like that shirt but you always complain

我喜歡那件衣服，但你總是抱怨

that you look like a carpenter in it.

你穿起來像木匠

- I'm nervous, you know I have a fear of flying.

我好緊張，你知道我怕飛行

- Chris, do you wanna hold my hand?

Chris 你想握住我的手嗎？

- My travel lotion and my travel deodorant,

我的旅行專用乳液跟我的旅行專用除臭劑

and my travel razor...

還有我的旅行專用除毛刀

Where's my Purell?

我的乾洗手在哪？(註：Purell 是乾洗手的牌子，泛指乾洗手)

- Oh, I have Purell.

哦，我有

- No, my travel Purell.

不，我要我的旅行專用乾洗手

Purell?

你要乾洗手嗎？

- Yeah.

好呀

Do you have any Purell?

你們有乾洗手嗎？

- I need some more Purell.

我還需要更多乾洗手

- If you keep taking selfies

你再繼續自拍

we're not gonna get to the airport on time.

我們就到不了機場了

Delete that.

刪掉啦

I look awful.

我好醜哦

Chris, you've got to roll everything

Chris 你要把東西捲起來

if you want it all to fit.

這樣才塞得下行李箱

- Should I bring a second suitcase

我該多帶一個行李箱嗎？

in case we go shopping?

以防我們跑去血拼

- Chris, you're $4,000 in debt.

Chris 你現在還負債十二萬耶

But I mean, if we see something you have to have!

但如果我們看到你真的該買的東西，行李箱還是帶著吧

- We have to get a tie,

我們應該來買個領帶

we're on vacation.

我們在度假欸

- Okay, one tie.

好啦，就一條

One tie.

一條而已哦

- Oh my God, what if we, like,

天那，如果我們

both fall in love while we're there.

我們兩個都在那陷入愛情怎麼辦？

What if we just moved into that apartment,

如果我們搬進那個公寓

like, found some wives.

然後找到我們的老婆

- Rich wives.

有錢的老婆

Look at how fat he is!

你看他有多胖！

- I told you I want a pug.

我就跟你說我想養巴哥犬

I don't think I have enough room for a blow dryer.

我覺得我的吹風機要放不下了

- Chris, be heavier.

Chris 你再重一點好不好

At least this is proof you're not fat.

至少這證明了你不胖

Right?

對吧？

- That's the nicest thing you could have said to me.

這是你對我講過最窩心的話了

It's usually freezing there.

那裡通常會很冷

- Well, everywhere is freezing.

拜託，到處都很冷好嗎？

I said that you aren't fat.

我剛剛是說你不胖

- I know, you said it,

我知道，可是你講了

but you made me think about it.

害我一直去想我覺得我很胖

(sighs)

(嘆氣)

I think I'm just in a sensitive place right now.

我覺得我現在比較敏感

- Oh my God, this place is perfect.

天那，這個房間太棒了

- Airplanes make me feel gross,

飛機超噁心的

I need to take a shower and do my hair immediately.

我需要立馬洗個澡，跟整理我的頭髮

- [Keith] There are so many pillows.

(Keith) 有好多枕頭耶

- I'm gonna bring both of these.

我兩件都要帶

- Chris!

Chris!