Name: 真正的吸引力，是這些小片刻 (Everything You Know About Attraction is Wrong (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy))
Uploaded: 2019-02-05T21:01:20.000Z
Duration: 3 min 50 s

過去簡單式

Have you ever felt like you weren't pretty enough for the person you want?

你曾否經覺得自己不夠美，配不上你喜歡的人？

基礎數量詞

Or that the person you want is so desirable and so attractive that they have so many options, why would they choose you?

或者說，你喜歡的人太令人渴望、太有魅力，明明有很多選擇，為什麼會選你？

I've recently asked my fast-track members, "What was the moment with a guy where you realized you were deeply attracted to him?"

我最近問了幾位 fast-track 會員：「你跟一個男人在一起時，發現自己深受他吸引的是哪一個瞬間？」

A mother was pushing her stroller across the street and didn't notice when a blanket fell out.

一位母親正推著嬰兒車過馬路，而沒注意到毯子掉出來。

Without hesitation, the guy I was on a date with grabbed it, caught up to her, and gave it back.

我的約會對象不加思索地將它撿起來，追上那位母親，並把毯子還給她。

The guy I was seeing stayed over for the first time.

我的約會對象第一次在我家過夜。

The next morning, I went to make us coffee.

And when I came back to the bedroom, he had made my bed.

當我回到臥室時，他已經把我的床鋪好了。

Me and a guy were taking a walk one day, and he spontaneously asked me, "What are two things you're grateful for?"

我和一個男人某天一起散步時，他突然隨意地問了我：「讓你感激的兩件事是什麼？」

It made me so attracted to the positive way he looked at life.

那讓我深深地被他正向的人生態度所吸引。

I also asked a handful of guys for these moments when they felt deeply attracted to a woman.

我也問了一些男性，請他們說出深受女人吸引的瞬間。

I mentioned a book that meant a lot to me, and a week later, I found out that she not only had bought a copy, but had started reading it for herself.

我提到一本對我而言很有意義的書，一週後，我發現她不僅買了一本，還開始讀了起來。

I was speaking on the phone to the woman I was seeing.

我正在和我約會的女人講電話。

And her friends had just invited her out that night.

她朋友正好剛約她晚上一起出去玩。

She told me that she said no to them because she wanted to stay in and finish a work project that was important to her.

她跟我說她拒絕了，因為她想要留在家，完成一份對她而言很重要的工作企劃。

I was on a date watching the movie "Interstellar," and I was trying not to cry during an emotional scene.

我們約會看著「星際效應」這部電影時，我一直試著在感人情節發生時忍住眼水。

I looked over to see if she'd noticed me, but her eyes were glued to the screen and she was already crying.

我轉頭看有沒有被她發現，卻看到她緊盯螢幕，已經淚流滿面。

我把這些瞬間稱為「微吸引」。

the understated moments and behaviors that make us realize someone is the kind of person we might want to spend a life with.

那些讓我們發現某人可能是我們想共度餘生的對象、再平凡不過的瞬間和行為。

And I think this is where the real game of attraction should be played.

我覺得真正的吸引力遊戲應該是在這種小地方發生。

This is crucial to understand, because we live in a world right now that over values all of the wrong things.

了解這一點非常重要，因為我們現在生活的世界，總是過度推崇錯的事物。

Money, fame, popularity, how many followers you have on Instagram...

金錢、名聲、人氣、Instagram 有多少追蹤人數...

All of these things that we think are the barometers for how attractive someone is.

那些我們誤認為代表某人魅力指標的事物。

But the truth is, when it really comes down to it for mature, intelligent people,

但事實是，追根究柢對於成熟、有智慧的人來說，

they are looking for a person of character, for a person of integrity, for the type of person who day to day exhibits the qualities that they want to experience in a relationship over a lifetime.

他們找的是有個性且正直的人，那種天天展現特質的對象，讓他們滿足對感情的期望並與其共度一生。

So we have to stop rolling ourselves out of the game simply because we think that someone gets a lot of attention or they have a lot of options,

所以我們不應該只因為覺得別人受矚目或是選擇多而自動退出，

and start valuing properly our growth as a person and our character.

而是應該開始重視自我成長與人格特質的發展。

Because I promise you, with the best people, with the most mature and intelligent and emotionally intelligent people, that's where the game is being played.

因為我保證，對最優秀，擁有成熟、智慧、高 EQ 的人來說，這才是魅力的所在。

In one of my favorite movies, "Vanilla Sky," David Aames, played by Tom Cruise, reflects on the small moments in his life that had giant consequences.

我最喜歡的一部電影《香草天空》中，湯姆．克魯斯飾演的 David Aames 回想了人生中那些枝微末節卻有巨大影響的片刻。

He concludes, "The little things... there's nothing bigger, is there?"

他以一句話總結：「這些小事情... 沒什麼比它們更重要了，對吧？」

Now, you know that I don't ask you to comment on every one of my videos.

各位都知道，我不會每部影片都要求你們留言。

But I think this message is so important that I want you to understand it on an emotional level, not just a logical one.

但我覺得這個訊息至關重要，所以希望你們用心理解，而不只是了解其邏輯。

Write in the comments, a moment of microattraction, where you either felt drawn to another person because of something they did or they told you they were drawn to you because of something you did.

在留言區寫下一個「微吸引」的時刻，無論是你因某人所做的事而被吸引，或是有人曾告訴你他們曾受到你行為的吸引。

Write it in the comments; I can't wait to read them.

把故事寫在留言區，我迫不及待拜讀了。

And also, let me know if you enjoyed this concept.

也讓我知道你們是否喜歡這類主題。

I know it's a little heady, but I think it's really, really important.

我知道這有點深奧，但我覺得它真的很重要。