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  • -Oh hi, didn't see you there.

  • Oh wait, yes I did.

  • You didn't see me...

  • 'cause I'm a ninja.

  • Every day I wake up, the first thing I do is work out.

  • I do strength, speed, and cardio.

  • [moans weekly]

  • For strength, I start with one-handed push-ups.

  • [moans weekly]

  • Strength!

  • For speed, well, have you ever seen a ninja move this fast?

  • Speed!

  • And one of the hardest exercises of my day

  • would have to be working on my cardio.

  • Yo, how much you want?

  • -$2,500.

  • -Deal!

  • -(both) Hooh!

  • -"Car deal."

  • A true ninja always takes the harder route

  • from point A to point B.

  • That is known as parkour

  • or as I like to say, "park our,"

  • because that's how I like to pronounce things,

  • I say it like how it's spelled.

  • I don't care if it sounds dum-b.

  • -Parkour, parkour

  • Is that a rock, I'll jump over it

  • Parkour, parkour

  • Walls can't contain my spider climb

  • Parkour, parkour

  • Is that a light post, move, light post

  • Parkour, parkour

  • Sometimes I'll just use the door.

  • -Being a ninja, I've been known to break things.

  • I can break anything.

  • I can break wood.

  • I can break bricks,

  • break branches,

  • break wind,

  • take a break,

  • break dance,

  • break cars,

  • brake cars,

  • break-fast,

  • and, of course, the most extreme of all, break-ups.

  • We need to talk.

  • -We are talking.

  • -I'm so sorry.

  • -No.

  • -Yes.

  • -But, is it another girl?

  • -No.

  • -Another guy?

  • -No.

  • -Then why?

  • -Well...

  • it's because...

  • because you're bleeding all over my carpet.

  • -What?

  • -Ninja quiz!

  • Everybody knows that a ninja has to be stealthy and use camouflage.

  • Can you find me here?

  • No, I'm not under the couch.

  • Not the lamp, not the table,

  • then where am I?

  • Boom! Wrong! I was the lamp.

  • In order to be a ninja,

  • you have to always have the art of surprise with you.

  • Last but not least, every single day,

  • I'm brought at least one mission from my ninja owl.

  • Thank you, Hedwig.

  • -Who, who the hell is Hedwig? My name is Pichu.

  • -Let's do this.

  • [dramatic music playing]

  • In the name of the broomstick gods, I summon thee.

  • [clattering]

  • -What the hell are you doing here?

  • -Oh, I think you know.

  • -Oh, I really don't.

  • -Okay.

  • [punching sound-effects]

  • When you're all out of options and ninja stars,

  • you know what to do.

  • That's right, remember?

  • The last thing you'd expect from a ninja is...

  • Ninja gun star!

  • [grunts]

  • Surprise.

  • Teehee!

  • -Why are you doing this to me?

  • -'Cause I was ordered to by ytf.

  • -They wanna kill me?

  • -No.

  • Just need to buy more cookies.

  • -Well, in that case,

  • let me get those thin mints,

  • I really like those, the way they just touch my mouth.

  • -By the name of the broomstick gods,

  • give me a sharper broom.

  • -They're not invisible, they're--[yells]

-Oh hi, didn't see you there.

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B1 中級 美國腔

忍者忍者的日常生活 (Daily Life of NinjaHinja)

  • 20 2
    henrych94510 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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