Truly the height of civilization.

一個充滿現代科技 文化與時尚的年代

Let's have a war.

真的是個文明的巔峰時期呢

Everyone knew a big war was coming.

那就讓我們來場戰爭吧:)

France wanted some stuff back that Germany had taken from it,

大家都知道一場大戰即將來臨

Germany wanted to take more of EVERYONE'S stuff,

法國想要拿回一些德國A走的東西 (阿爾薩斯省與摩澤爾省)

and they're building a big sexy navy that was making the British uncomfortable.

而德國想要A走更多其他人的東西

These two empires thought they're really cool.

且德國正在造一個[性感的]海軍 而這讓英國有點不蘇胡

But lots of different people who live there didn't think it was so cool.

這兩個帝國覺得他們很酷[我們超讚DER] (奧匈帝國與鄂圖曼土耳其帝國)

And some of them had even been declaring independence,

但很多不同種族且住在那裏的人並不覺得這很酷 (烏克蘭人 羅馬尼亞人 斯洛伐克人 克羅埃西亞人 斯洛維尼亞人 塞爾維亞人)

with help from Russia.

而且他們有些其中的種族甚至已經宣布獨立了 (羅馬尼亞 保加利亞 塞爾維亞 蒙特內哥羅 阿爾巴尼亞)

Everyone was talking about each other behind each other's backs.

因為有了俄國的協助

Throw in the fact that military technology had come a long way since the last major war,

每個人都在其他國家背後講其他國家的各種亂七八糟的話

and suddenly everyone was pretty eager to beat each other up.

而且說實話 軍事科技自從上次大戰之後已經有了爆炸性的進展

In this area of Austria-Hungary lived some Serbs and Bosnians who hated living in Austria-Hungary.

而且突然每個國家都十分的迫於打爆其他人

So the Austro-Hungarian Archduke Franz Ferdinand goes there for a nice drive in an open-top car,

在這一小片奧匈帝國的國土上住著一些不喜歡住在奧匈帝國的塞爾維亞人與波士尼亞人 (塞拉耶佛)

with his car's route published in advance.

所以奧匈帝國的大公法蘭茲·斐迪南(跟他老婆)為了個好的旅程去了那

And that went just about as well as you'd expect.

坐著一台敞篷車還公開了他們座車的行駛路線 (賽拉耶佛太陽報:七個暗殺世界領導者的小撇步)

Some assassins were waiting for him along the way and threw bombs at his car,

而且他們還真的如你意料的去了

but they missed and blew up some officers behind him, instead.

有些刺客在路上等著他並且往他的車上丟了炸彈

So, the Archduke goes into hiding, leaves Sarajevo and whole war never happens.

但他們沒丟中大公反而丟中在大公座車後面的軍官座車 (你這個爛砲兵!!!)

Except no. The Archduke doesn't leave,

所以大公跑去躲了起來並離開了賽拉耶佛 然後戰爭就沒有發生了

but instead goes back out in the open top car, to visit the injured officers in hospital.

但是並沒有 大公並沒有離開賽拉耶佛

The driver takes a wrong turn and by sheer coincidence gets stuck besides one of the failed assassins.

反而回到了賽拉耶佛 繼續坐著敞篷車去探望受傷住院的軍官

Who shoots him.

駕駛走錯了路 然後很巧合的是他們被卡住了 就在之前暗殺大公失敗的其中一名刺客旁邊

Austria-Hungary is understandably pissed about all this,

然後那名刺客就開槍了

and they think the Serbian government had something to do with it (which they might have).

奧匈帝國完完全全的被這件事激怒了

So they go to their ally Germany and say:

他們覺得塞爾維亞政府必須為這起事件負責

"Hey Germany, we're gonna declare war on Serbia!",

所以他們跟他們的盟友德國說:

and Germany is all for that.

[嘿德國 我們要跟塞爾維亞宣戰了]

So Austria-Hungary sends a big list of impossible demands to Serbia

而德國完全支持奧匈帝國 (做吧!)

and when Serbia refuses, they declare war.

所以奧匈帝國寄了一張上面有許多不合理要求的清單給塞爾維亞

Austria-Hungary and Germany are friends and Serbia is protected by Russia,

而當塞爾維亞不同意時，奧匈帝國便宣戰

who's friends with France, so they all declare war on each other.

[警告 接下來將開始講解歐洲各國之間錯綜複雜的同盟關係]

Montenegro joins in, too.

奧匈帝國與德國是盟友，而塞爾維亞被俄國所保護

France and Britain also have a kind of alliance.

俄國又跟法國是盟友 所以他們跟彼此宣戰了

So, when France says: "Hey, Britain you got my back?", Britain is like:

蒙特內哥羅也參戰了 (關你屁事啊)

"Maybe...?",

法國跟英國也有著[某種的]同盟關係

and then they decide to stay out of it.

所以當法國說:[嘿英國，你支持我嗎?]時，英國就說:

Which is great for Germany because Germany has a plan:

[大概吧]

They know that Russia is so big and clumsy that it will take them all to get ready for war.

然後英國就決定要遠離這場亂局 (G8人)

So with this guy in charge Germany will send all its troops into France at Lightning speed while Russia is getting ready.

這對德國而言棒透了，因為德國有個計劃 (施里芬計畫 德國自1906年前的陸軍總參謀所提出的計畫)

Defeat France then move all the troops to Russia and defeat Russia. Then we all speak German and eat Pfefferpotthast every day.

他們知道俄國是個大頭呆，所以俄國會讓他們所有人做好戰爭的準備

Just one problem:

(赫爾穆特·馮·毛奇 繼任施里芬之後的德軍總參謀) 所以這個傢伙負責的就是，當俄國還在為戰爭做準備時，德國會把所有的部隊送往法國以閃電般的速度推進

France has loads of forts and defences along its German border.

把法國打敗後 便將所有部隊調往俄國前線並打敗俄國，然後我們所有人都要會說德語並每天吃pfefferpotthast了

And Germany can't waste any time fighting them so Germany decides to go around them.

但有一個問題

Through Belgium.

法國在德法邊境建有一拖拉庫的堡壘與防禦設施

Belgium is neutral but Germany wants to march 750 thousand troops through it to get around France's defenses.

但德國不能浪費任何時間在對付那些堡壘上，所以德國選擇了繞過堡壘

They're hoping Belgium will just kind of sit down and shut up.

攻打比利時 (比利時表示:f**k真衰小)

But they don't. They fight back, and they're pretty good, too, so they slow the Germans down.

比利時是中立國，但是德國想要向比利時進軍75萬的大軍來繞過法國的防御 (好多=.=)

What's worse is that Britain shows up. And they're pretty pissed that Germany is invading neutral countries.

德國希望比利時會只是坐在那兒並放棄抵抗 (比利時:喂 停阿 走開啦)

So now Britain declares war on Germany.

但比利時不這樣做，反而攻了回去，而且他們也做得不錯，所以他們減緩了德國的進攻 (列日戰爭)

So Germany push on through Belgium and commit some atrocities along the way. They also wear spikes and sometimes skulls on the uniform.

更糟的是英國加入了戰局 因為英國因為德國入侵了中立國而森77

So, if you're trying to not look like the bad guys:

所以現在英國就對德國宣戰了 (結果還不是宣戰了=.=)

Good job.

所以德國持續向比利時推進，並在推進的路上犯下一些戰爭罪行 (燒毀魯汶的大學圖書館)

The allies have a propaganda extravaganda and this starts having an influence around the world, notably in America.

他們也會在頭盔上裝上尖刺，有些時候在制服上佩戴上頭顱

The US President Woodrow Wilson sees himself as a bit of a Jesus figure

所以如果你在試著讓自己看起來不像壞人的話

and spends most of the war trying to get everyone to just hug it out.

不錯喔:)

But there's also a large population of ethnic Germans living in the United States and when the war first broke out

而協約國在大肆進行反德宣傳，而這開始對世界各國有了影響

they were like: "Yay, Germany!!" But now that they are committing atrocities in Belgium

特別是美國

they are less enthusiastic.

美國總統伍德羅 威爾遜把他自己看成了像是耶穌般的人物

Let's play: Spot the French soldier!

並在戰爭上花費了最多，嘗試著讓所有人能夠和平解決這次大戰

Did you see him? Easy right? He's wearing a bright blue uniform with red trousers

但也有很多的德國人居住在美國，而當大戰最初爆發時

and do you know who else spotted him easily, too?

他們喊著:[德國萬歲!!]但德國現在在比利時犯下了戰爭罪行

The Germans.

他們開始失去了對國家的熱忱

So, when the French were slowly marching in columns to the countryside

讓我們看看法國士兵吧:)

the Germans easily tore them to shreds with their giant guns.

你現在能輕鬆地看到他對吧 他穿著一件亮藍色的制服和一件鮮紅色的長褲

All the nations involved in this war went in with an old-school war mentality.

而且你知道誰也能很輕鬆地看到他嗎?

And all of them had to update the uniforms and tactics a lot during the great war.

德國士兵

Because this war was going to be like nothing anyone had ever seen before.

所以當法國士兵在緩慢地以縱陣向前線行軍時

Russia is ready for war and way earlier than expected.

德國士兵能輕鬆地用大砲把他們撕成碎片

"Hey, Austria-Hungary, can you get on top of that?"

(戰爭是場探索) (刺刀衝鋒很酷) (騎兵超有用der) (為國家犧牲很棒喔) 所有參與這場戰爭的國家都仍然在使用早已過時的戰術思想

"Oh? Yeah, sure! We've got this."

(塞爾維亞軍沒軍靴) (法國有鮮紅色長褲) (塞 俄 法三國都是用軍帽 而非頭盔) 而且他們所有人都要在大戰期間大幅更新他們的軍服與戰術

nope.

(法國更是大大的不ok)

So, Germany has to send some troops back to the east to defend against the Russians.

因為這場戰爭會成為無人所見過的大戰

The chief of staff of the Austro-Hungarian army is this guy. And although he is handsome,

俄國已經準備好戰爭了，其速度之快超乎預料之外

He turns out not to be the best military strategist.

[嘿 奧匈帝國，你可以處理一下嗎?]

Austria-Hungary constantly ignores Germany's advice,

[喔 當然阿 我們能處理好這個的]

...and then comes running back to Germany whenever they get in trouble.

才怪:P

Austria-Hungary even gets its ass kicked by tiny Serbia who repels all their invasion attempts at the start of the war.

所以德國只能把一些部隊調到東部戰線來防禦俄軍的攻勢

It's better news for Germany in the North, though, where they almost

奧匈帝國陸軍總參謀是是這個傢伙 (康拉德·馮·赫岑多夫)

completely wipe out the Russians second army.

雖然他看起來挺帥的

Back on the western front, the Germans

但他卻不是個好的軍事戰略家

continue advancing and are in sight of Paris.

奧匈帝國經常無視德國的建議 (奧:我才不管逆咧~~)

At this point anyone would be forgiven for thinking the Germans were going to get that quick victory after all.

然後在他們遇到麻煩的時候就哭著跑回來找媽媽(德國)

But then things start to go wrong. The French commander-in-chief knew something had to be done.

奧匈帝國甚至被小小的塞爾維亞給打爆了，並奪回在戰爭一開始被佔領的土地

And he ordered his armies to stop retreating.

對德國在東北戰線的軍隊而言，這是個好消息

In the resulting battle, a gap opened up in the German lines.

(坦能堡戰役) 然後他們便幾乎消滅了俄國第二集團軍

If a gap opens up, the enemy can use it to flank you from the side and behind.

回到西線

So the German armies have to retreat.

德軍持續推進並步步逼近巴黎

The Allies launch a counter-attack, so the Germans dig into defensive positions. The Allies do the same.

在這個時候，任何人都覺得德軍會很快便得到勝利

Then both sides move north trying to outflank each other along the way. When they reach the sea,

(約瑟夫 霞飛) 但事情開始出現了變化，法軍最高指揮官知道有事情需要完成

They're in a stalemate with trench systems running the whole way from the coast to Switzerland.

然後他命令法軍停止推進並後撤

The beginning of trench-warfare on the Western front.

(第一次馬恩河戰役) 在造成的戰爭結束之後 德軍戰線出現了一個縫隙

Here's, how trench warfare works:

如果縫隙打開了，敵軍可以向縫隙推進並用它來側襲在縫隙附近的其他友軍

Two opposing lines of trenches with No-man's land in between.

所以德軍必需後撤

One side would pummel the other with hundreds of thousands of artillery shells, sometimes for days at a time.

協約國軍隊開始反攻，所以德軍挖戰壕來防守據點，而協約國軍也這麼做

This had a huge psychological effect on the soldiers leaving many shell-shocked.

然後雙方都把軍隊調往北方想要反側襲對方，當他們碰到海時

Then, the attacking troops would leave their trenches and rush across no-man's land,

他們陷入了戰壕對峙，從比利時的北海海岸，一直延伸到瑞士邊境

A muddy wet mess of shell craters and barbed wire.

西線的壕溝戰就此展開

The defending trench would unleash machine-gun fire on the attackers inflicting thousands of casualties.

這裡開始解說壕溝戰

The attackers would send wave after wave until either they gave up or the opposing trench was finally overrun.

兩條面對面的壕溝，以及夾在中間的[無人區]

There would be months of fighting and the deaths of thousands in order to gain a few meters or kilometers of land.

一邊會以數十萬發的砲彈轟炸另一邊 有時甚至持續數天

Living in the trenches was hard work, too. Corpses, mud that could swallow you whole,

這會使士兵有心理上的震懾 使得士兵多對砲彈產生恐懼

pools of poisonous water, rats,

然後攻擊方會離開他們的壕溝並向無人區衝鋒

disease, the smell...

路上會有許多泥濘的砲彈坑與鐵絲網

It's insane that millions of soldiers put up with these conditions and commanders ordered them to do so for years.

防守方會讓機關槍開火 並讓攻擊方產生數以千計的死傷