- involving you and Rihanna. - Uh, yes.

- 跟你和蕾哈娜有關的 - 呃，沒錯

You know what I'm talking?

你知道我在說什麼嗎？

Oh, I know what you're talking about.

噢，我知道你在說什麼

Well, you have ...you have kids, right?

你有小孩，沒錯吧？

You have daughters.

你有女兒

Absolutely. I have two little girls.

沒錯，我有兩個女兒

Okay, I have three daughters.

我有三個女兒

So I think my kids are a little older than yours.

我想我的女兒們比你的女兒們大

They're at that stage where

她們正處於那個時期

if, when dropping them off at school,

當你送他們去學校時

I could just keep the car moving,

我根本就不用把車熄火

they would -- they would opt for that.

或者她們會選擇這麼做

Or a bag over my head, anything.

拿個袋子套在我頭上，什麼把戲都有

Very, you know -- that kind of awkward stage

非常，你知道的，一個奇葩的時期

where they don't want to be seen with Dad.

這時她們不想被看到跟爸爸在一起

Exactly.

沒錯

So I thought I -- I thought the coolest moment of all-time

所以我想…我想到目前為止最酷的時刻就是

that happened recently when Rihanna -- Ri-Ri --

最近發生的跟蕾哈娜有關的事，當蕾哈娜，蕾蕾

[ Laughter ]

(大笑)

Wow. Wow.

哇！哇！

-She actually-- -Got close fast. Yeah, wow.

事實上她… -真會裝熟，哇！

She called me up and wanted to use a song

她連絡我說想用一首歌

that I had recorded in a movie a few years ago.

好幾年前我在電影裡錄的一首歌

The Academy Award-winning, "Stuck on you."

有得奧斯卡金像獎的那部《當我們黏在一起》 (開玩笑)

It won a record 35 Oscars.

那部贏了 35 個獎項 (開玩笑)

I don't remember the number, Jimmy.

我不太記得那個數字了，吉米

[ Laughter ]

(大笑)

But at any rate,

無論如何

we had a song in there that I had actually recorded.

我們在裡面有一首歌是我真的有錄下來的

It was based on Billy Stewart's "Summertime."

它是從比利・史都華的 《Summertime》而來的

It was a pretty cool rendition.

這首歌詮釋得很好

But she had heard it.

而她聽到了

The only person that's ever heard it.

可能是唯一聽過這首歌的人

And Rihanna calls -- Okay, you caught me in a lie.

然後蕾哈娜打過來…好吧，被你逮到我在胡說

Her lawyer calls my lawyer.

是她的律師打給我的律師

That makes more sense. Now the story makes more sense, yeah.

這聽起來像樣多了，現在這故事聽起來像樣多了

And says can -- and asked whether or not

然後說能不能…然後問是否

they could use a piece of the song in a song she was doing.

他們可以用這首歌裡的片段到她在製作的一首歌裡

Like a sample. -Yeah, like --

就像個樣本 -對，就像那樣

Is that what they -- a sample, a mish mash or whatever the term.

就像他們說的…一個樣本、一種雜燴或是隨便怎麼稱呼

I don't know the term.

我不知道那個字眼怎麼說

I don't know. You're in the music business. I don't know.

我不知道，你做音樂的，我不知道

A mish mash. Yeah, that's right.

一個雜燴，沒錯，說的對

So she wants to mish mash it into something she's doing,

所以她想把它混入一些她正在製作的東西裡

and I'm like, "Well, this is good

然後我覺得，「這也不錯，

because then the girls are going to know

因為這樣那些女孩們就會知道

I'm doing a song with Rihanna,

我有跟蕾哈娜合作一首歌，

and suddenly I don't know if I'm the loser dad any more."

然後突然…我不知道我是否還是個魯蛇爸爸。」

You might be the coolest dad ever.

你可能會變世上最酷的爸爸

Yeah, right. So I was really excited about it.

沒錯，所以我覺得很興奮

And said, you know, how much is she willing to pay me.

然後說，她願意付多少錢

And my lawyer said nothing. And I said we got a deal.

然後我的律師說，一毛都沒有。然後我說，成交。

[ Laughter ]

(大笑)

"We got a deal. Where do I sign?"

「就這麼決定了，我要在哪簽名？」

Sounded good. Sounded good.

聽起來不錯，聽起來不錯

So at any rate, she ended up using it.

無論如何，她做完歌了

And I -- you know, I dropped the kids off at school one day,

然後，某天我載小孩放學

and literally get the link of the song that she has recorded.

我收到她錄的那首歌

And I don't know what my expectation was for the song.

我不知道我對那首歌有什麼期待

But, you know, Rihanna, great musician.

但你知道的，蕾哈娜，偉大的音樂家

Some of the songs can be a little racy.

有些歌會有那麼一點…刺激

Sure.

沒錯

[ Laughter ]

(大笑)

What was the song?

是哪一首？

Well, the song is called "Cockiness."

那首歌叫《驕傲自大》

That's all right.

沒關係

So far we got away with it, yeah.

目前為止我們還不會被罵，是的

[ Laughter ]

(大笑)

So the first lyrics are

燃後第一句歌詞是

"suck my cockiness, lick my persuasion."

「吸入我的驕傲自大，舔弄我的信仰」

Okay. All right. Hold on a second.

好的，好的，先等一下

This is -- This reminds --

這個，這個提醒了我

my lower back tattoo, I'm getting next week.

我下禮拜要在腰上刺個刺青

[ Laughter ]

(大笑)

Persuasion. Yeah, that's good.

信仰，沒錯，很好

It's gonna cost an extra 50 bucks.

這可能要多花 50 元

"I want you to be my --" I don't know.

「我要成為我的…」我不知道

You get the idea, right?

你懂我的意思，對吧？

So it's the song -- -Lick my cockiness.

所以這是首歌… -舔弄我的驕傲自大

-t's the song that never can be played for my kids

這是一首永遠不能播給我的孩子聽的歌

is the bottom line, so I'm still the awkward dad.

是最後底線，所以我還是個沒用的老爸

Odd man out unfortunately, but it is --

總是不幸的奇怪的男人，但那的確是

she did actually do a recording with it,

她確實有做一首歌跟我的片段有關

so I got a little -- I'm a little mish mash in there.

所以我還是有一些…有一些跟我有關的雜燴在裡面

All right, so you got a little street cred.

好的，所以你還是有一些街頭親和力在

-Yeah, that's right. -Then that's all you need.

-沒錯 -那就是你需要的

-Do you golf, still, because -- -I do.

你還打高爾夫嗎，因為… -我還有打

-I heard that you golf. -Yeah, I do.

-我聽說你有打高爾夫 -是的

-You told me that you golf. -Yeah.

-你跟我說過你打高爾夫 -沒錯

[ Laughter ]

(大笑)

-Why is that funny? -I don't know.

-有什麼好笑？ -我不知道

I was honestly -- I was -- like -- I -- surprised.

我老實說…我很驚訝

[ Laughter ]

(大笑)

-Why? -I don't know.

為什麼？ -我不知道

Honestly, it's not like I'm like, whoa --

老實說，並不是說我會覺得，哇嗚！

I don't know what my expectation is for a golfer,

我不知道我對一個高爾夫球手的期待是什麼

but I just -- I just -- you surprised me.

但就是…你讓我很驚訝

I was surprised to hear that.

我聽到的時候很驚訝

What would you think I would do?

你想像中的我應該要做什麼？

I mean, what -- like, Frisbee? [ Laughter ]

我的意思是…像飛盤之類的？ (大笑)

Something involving a Frisbee? Is that what you see me doing?

像是飛盤之類的東西？你有看到我在玩那個嗎？

No, no, I just -- it seemed like

不不，我只是…就像是

golf could be distracting for you.

打高爾夫可能是會讓你分心的活動

I would envision you, you know, like -- it's like, you got a --

我把你想成是…就像是

it's like chess for four hours.

玩西洋棋玩上四個小時的人

You don't seem -- I don't know.

你看起來不是個…我不知道

You just don't seem like a golfer to me.

對我來說你看起來就不像個高爾夫球手

You're probably a great golfer. -I'm taking this the right way.

你或許是個很好的高爾夫球手 -我正在正面思考

As a compliment. -I know, but I just don't --

我把它當作稱讚 -我懂，但我就是不知道…

I don't know what I envisioned for a golfer.

我不知道我想像中的高爾夫球手是什麼樣的

But I just -- when they told me that, I was surprised.

但我只是…當他們告訴我這件事，我真的很驚訝

I'm fine. I'm normal. I play by the rules.

我很好，我很正常，我是個循規蹈矩的人

You're a physical specimen. It's not about that.

你是個運動健將，但重點不在那

It's just that I didn't anticipate --

就只是我沒有預期到這件事

maybe because I just never heard it.

或許因為我只是從沒聽過而已

Are you good?

你打得好嗎？

No, I'm terrible.

不，我打得很爛

Okay, well, I am too.

好的，我也很爛

You're terrible, as well?

你也打得很爛？

I'm really not very good.

我真的沒有很厲害

Oh, I heard the opposite.

噢，我聽到的不是這樣

Well, no, that's not true.

不，那不是真的

Well, I heard that you got a hole in one.

我聽說你有一竿進洞過

Well, that's true.

好吧，那是真的

You got a hole in one?

你曾經一竿進洞？

I did. Yeah, I got a hole in one.

我有，沒錯，我有過一竿進洞

I got one -- one hole in one in my whole life.

我有過一次，一輩子就這麼一次

I would just start crying.

我會馬上就哭出來

Yeah. Well, I did. I got a little choked up.

沒錯，我有，我有一點點激動

Did you call everybody?

你有跟每個人講嗎？

Well, you know, after you had a hole in one,

你知道的，在你一竿進洞之後

you do ask people a lot if they've had a hole in one.

你會問每個人說你有打過一竿進洞嗎？

I didn't used to care.

我以前不是很在意

But now it's like, "You had a hole in one?"

但現在就，「你有過一竿進洞嗎？」

Have you ever had one?

你有打過嗎？

-No. -Yeah.

-沒有 -好。

[ Laughter ]

(大笑)

You're the worst! That is the absolute worst.

你是個混帳！這真是太壞了

-Wow. -It's cool.

-哇 -這很有趣

Yeah, it's cool.

沒錯，這很有趣

I want to talk about this new "Electric Dreams."

我想談談有關新一集的《菲利普・狄克的電子夢》

Philip K. Dick, this guy, a sci-fi writer.

菲利普˙金德里德・狄克 (Philip Kindred Dick)，一個科幻作家

I know a couple of his books.

我知道他的許多著作

I mean there -- I've only gotten through the first chapter.

我的意思是，我只看完第一章

Let's be honest.

老實說

-Too busy golfing. -Yeah.

都忙著打高爾夫 -沒錯

You golf?

你打高爾夫？

"You read? You don't look like a reader."

「你看書？你看起來不像個看書的人。」

[ Laughter ]

(大笑)

Yes, I read. I know how to read. I read books! I love books!

是的，我看書！我知道怎麼閱讀，我讀書！我愛書！

"Mama," "Dada." You know, those types of books.

「馬麻」「把拔」，你知道的，這一類的書

[ Laughter ]

(大笑)

But this is a -- This is based on his short stories.

但這是個…這是根據他的短篇故事集

Yeah. He wrote really interesting stuff.

沒錯，他寫的東西真的很有意思

-My version's -- -You're in episode seven.

-我的部分是… -你的部分是第七集

It's called "The Father Thing"?

篇名是《名為父親的東西》

Yeah, which basically is what happens

沒錯，基本上裡面發生的是

if the person you love the most, in this case,

如果你最愛的人，在這個故事裡

it's an 11-year-old boy.

那是個 11 歲的小男孩

What happens if your father, his father,

如果你的父親，他的父親

is something that he doesn't believe him to --

是一個他對他不信任的…

-Are you an alien? -I'm an alien.

-你是外星人嗎？ -我是個外星人

Okay, good. Just say it. Just say it.

好吧，很好，就說出來，就把它說出來

-So you're basically an alien. -Yeah.

-所以基本上你就是個外星人 -沒錯

-Spoiler alert. -Yeah, exactly.

-爆雷的傢伙 -沒錯，我就是

Wow, so what would you do if you're a kid

哇，所以如果你是個孩子你會怎麼做

and you find out your dad --

當你發現你的爸爸…

Yeah, so he's 11 years old,

沒錯，所以他是個 11 歲的孩子

he's finding out this incredible thing,

他發現這個令人難以置信的事

and it's kind of the machinations of the story.

然後就像有陰謀論的故事一般

And the kid is fantastic, and it was great fun to do.

然後這個孩子很棒，拍這部戲很有趣