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I want to hear a story...tell me if it's true or not
- involving you and Rihanna. - Uh, yes.
You know what I'm talking?
Oh, I know what you're talking about.
Well, you have ...you have kids, right?
You have daughters.
Absolutely. I have two little girls.
Okay, I have three daughters.
So I think my kids are a little older than yours.
They're at that stage where
if, when dropping them off at school,
I could just keep the car moving,
they would -- they would opt for that.
Or a bag over my head, anything.
Very, you know -- that kind of awkward stage
where they don't want to be seen with Dad.
Exactly.
So I thought I -- I thought the coolest moment of all-time
that happened recently when Rihanna -- Ri-Ri --
[ Laughter ]
Wow. Wow.
-She actually-- -Got close fast. Yeah, wow.
She called me up and wanted to use a song
that I had recorded in a movie a few years ago.
The Academy Award-winning, "Stuck on you."
It won a record 35 Oscars.
I don't remember the number, Jimmy.
[ Laughter ]
But at any rate,
we had a song in there that I had actually recorded.
It was based on Billy Stewart's "Summertime."
It was a pretty cool rendition.
But she had heard it.
The only person that's ever heard it.
And Rihanna calls -- Okay, you caught me in a lie.
Her lawyer calls my lawyer.
That makes more sense. Now the story makes more sense, yeah.
And says can -- and asked whether or not
they could use a piece of the song in a song she was doing.
Like a sample. -Yeah, like --
Is that what they -- a sample, a mish mash or whatever the term.
I don't know the term.
I don't know. You're in the music business. I don't know.
A mish mash. Yeah, that's right.
So she wants to mish mash it into something she's doing,
and I'm like, "Well, this is good
because then the girls are going to know
I'm doing a song with Rihanna,
and suddenly I don't know if I'm the loser dad any more."
You might be the coolest dad ever.
Yeah, right. So I was really excited about it.
And said, you know, how much is she willing to pay me.
And my lawyer said nothing. And I said we got a deal.
[ Laughter ]
"We got a deal. Where do I sign?"
Sounded good. Sounded good.
So at any rate, she ended up using it.
And I -- you know, I dropped the kids off at school one day,
and literally get the link of the song that she has recorded.
And I don't know what my expectation was for the song.
But, you know, Rihanna, great musician.
Some of the songs can be a little racy.
Sure.
[ Laughter ]
What was the song?
Well, the song is called "Cockiness."
That's all right.
So far we got away with it, yeah.
[ Laughter ]
So the first lyrics are
"suck my cockiness, lick my persuasion."
Okay. All right. Hold on a second.
This is -- This reminds --
my lower back tattoo, I'm getting next week.
[ Laughter ]
Persuasion. Yeah, that's good.
It's gonna cost an extra 50 bucks.
"I want you to be my --" I don't know.
You get the idea, right?
So it's the song -- -Lick my cockiness.
-t's the song that never can be played for my kids
is the bottom line, so I'm still the awkward dad.
Odd man out unfortunately, but it is --
she did actually do a recording with it,
so I got a little -- I'm a little mish mash in there.
All right, so you got a little street cred.
-Yeah, that's right. -Then that's all you need.
-Do you golf, still, because -- -I do.
-I heard that you golf. -Yeah, I do.
-You told me that you golf. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-Why is that funny? -I don't know.
I was honestly -- I was -- like -- I -- surprised.
[ Laughter ]
-Why? -I don't know.
Honestly, it's not like I'm like, whoa --
I don't know what my expectation is for a golfer,
but I just -- I just -- you surprised me.
I was surprised to hear that.
What would you think I would do?
I mean, what -- like, Frisbee? [ Laughter ]
Something involving a Frisbee? Is that what you see me doing?
No, no, I just -- it seemed like
golf could be distracting for you.
I would envision you, you know, like -- it's like, you got a --
it's like chess for four hours.
You don't seem -- I don't know.
You just don't seem like a golfer to me.
You're probably a great golfer. -I'm taking this the right way.
As a compliment. -I know, but I just don't --
I don't know what I envisioned for a golfer.
But I just -- when they told me that, I was surprised.
I'm fine. I'm normal. I play by the rules.
You're a physical specimen. It's not about that.
It's just that I didn't anticipate --
maybe because I just never heard it.
Are you good?
No, I'm terrible.
Okay, well, I am too.
You're terrible, as well?
I'm really not very good.
Oh, I heard the opposite.
Well, no, that's not true.
Well, I heard that you got a hole in one.
Well, that's true.
You got a hole in one?
I did. Yeah, I got a hole in one.
I got one -- one hole in one in my whole life.
I would just start crying.
Yeah. Well, I did. I got a little choked up.
Did you call everybody?
Well, you know, after you had a hole in one,
you do ask people a lot if they've had a hole in one.
I didn't used to care.
But now it's like, "You had a hole in one?"
Have you ever had one?
-No. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
You're the worst! That is the absolute worst.
-Wow. -It's cool.
Yeah, it's cool.
I want to talk about this new "Electric Dreams."
Philip K. Dick, this guy, a sci-fi writer.
I know a couple of his books.
I mean there -- I've only gotten through the first chapter.
Let's be honest.
-Too busy golfing. -Yeah.
You golf?
"You read? You don't look like a reader."
[ Laughter ]
Yes, I read. I know how to read. I read books! I love books!
"Mama," "Dada." You know, those types of books.
[ Laughter ]
But this is a -- This is based on his short stories.
Yeah. He wrote really interesting stuff.
-My version's -- -You're in episode seven.
It's called "The Father Thing"?
Yeah, which basically is what happens
if the person you love the most, in this case,
it's an 11-year-old boy.
What happens if your father, his father,
is something that he doesn't believe him to --
-Are you an alien? -I'm an alien.
Okay, good. Just say it. Just say it.
-So you're basically an alien. -Yeah.
-Spoiler alert. -Yeah, exactly.
Wow, so what would you do if you're a kid
and you find out your dad --
Yeah, so he's 11 years old,
he's finding out this incredible thing,
and it's kind of the machinations of the story.
And the kid is fantastic, and it was great fun to do.
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【今夜秀】「蕾哈娜把我的改編片段唱得超級兒童不宜!」 (Rihanna Sampled Greg Kinnear for Her Song "Cockiness (Love It)")

321 分類 收藏
kiki 發佈於 2018 年 2 月 8 日    B.Y.l 翻譯    Crystal Wu 審核
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