- I do not actually.

- 其實不會耶

- Why, what's your name?

- 為什麼？你叫什麼名字？

- Zack.

- Zack

So, it's pretty easy.

蠻簡單的

- Oh, my God!

- 噢，我的天啊！

That's my fake Starbucks name!

那是我的星巴克假名！

- Is that really your fake Starbucks name?

- 真的嗎？

- No.

- 假的

- Hi, my name is Amal,

- 嗨，我叫 Amal

and I make videos at Buzzfeed.

我在 Buzzfeed 拍影片

Now, I know what you're thinking.

我知道你們在想什麼

That girl has a weird name.

她的名字好怪啊

She probably uses a fake name when she goes to Starbucks.

她去星巴可買咖啡可能都用假名

I don't.

其實沒有

But some of you know the drill.

可是你們應該都很清楚要怎麼做

You get in line,

你進去排隊

about to order your favorite drink,

正要點你最喜歡的飲料

and you pull out your trusty fake name.

然侯使出你那超好用的假名

You know, the classics.

你知道的，那些經典的

John, Carl, or my personal favorite,

像是 John、Carl，還有我私心最愛的

Gertrude.

Gertrude

Today, we'll see what your favorite Buzzfeeders use

今天我們一起來看看大家最喜歡的 Buzzfeed 工作人員

as their fake names when they go to Starbucks.

去星巴克都用什麼假名

All to avoid social interaction.

來避免尷尬的人際互動

Let's go!

來吧！

What's your fake name?

你的假名是什麼？

- K.

- K

- And what's your real name?

- 那你的真名呢？

- Kuwilileni.

- Kuwilileni

K because if I ever tried to say Kuwilileni,

簡稱 K，因為如果我說 Kuwilileni

they would just look at me with their mouth agape

他們只會目瞪口呆

like who?

像是在說：「這誰？」

What?

「啥？」

Where?

「什麼跟什麼？」

- My fake name is Horchata Jose.

- 我的假名是 Horchata Jose

My real name is Sergio.

我的真名是 Sergio

- My fake name is David.

- 我的假名是 David

- And what's your real name?

- 那你的真名呢？

- Armand.

- Armand

My real name is on my credit card,

我的真名寫在我的信用卡上

and nobody has been like, hey!

但是目前還沒有人說：「等等，

This doesn't match.

這跟你的名字不一樣。」

- Well, you're now exposed, so...

- 這個嘛，你現在已經被發現了，所以⋯⋯

- Oh, c'mon!

- 少來了！

- If I wanna have, like fun, I'll use like Axel Foley

- 如果我想整人的話，我會用像是 Axel Foley

or like Theo Huxtable.

或是 Theo Huxtable

- You seem like a Theo to me.

- 我覺得 Theo 蠻適合你的

- My fake name is Kelly.

- 我的假名是 Kelly

- And what's your real name?

- 那你的真名呢？

- Kirby, like the video game.

- 卡比，跟那個電玩角色一樣

The pink, little pink ball.

那隻粉紅色的球狀物

- Okay, what's your fake name?

- 所以說，你的假名是什麼？

- Lauren.

- Lauren

- And what's your real name?

- 那你的真名呢？

- My real name is Selorm.

- 我的真名是 Selorm

My name is actually supposed to be pronounced, "sellum".

其實應該發 sellum

- So, your real name is your fake name?

- 所以你的真名其實是你的假名？

Ken, do you have a fake name when you go to Starbucks?

Ken，你去星巴克的時候會用假名嗎？

- My fake name is actually Ken.

- 其實 Ken 就是我的假名

So, I moved to the States when I was 12 or 13,

我十二、三歲的時候搬來美國

and I still went by my real name which is Kyohei.

我那時還是使用我的本名 Kyohei

- Well, thanks for lying to me for all these years, Ken.

- 好喔，謝謝你欺騙了我這麼多年

- I've only known you for three months, but okay.

- 我其實才認識你三個月，但你要怎麼說隨你便

- What's your fake name?

- 你的假名是什麼？

- Bob.

- Bob

My real name is Onyinyechukwu.

- 我其實叫 Onyinyechukwu

- So, don't take this the wrong way,

- 我沒有別的意思，

but you're not giving me Bob vibes.

可是你不像 Bob

- They know I'm not a Bob, but it's like,

- 他們當然知道我不叫 Bob，可是

it's an understanding.

這就像是某種共識

They appreciate that I'm not wasting their time.

他們很高興我不浪費他們的時間

They're not wasting my time.

他們也不會浪費我的時間

- I will give any J name.

- 我會給他們任何 J 開頭的名字

I'll say John, Jamiroquai,

像是 John、Jamiroquai

Jacob, or JoMariePayton as one word just to see.

Jacob，或是 JoMariePayton，全部一個字

My real name is Jarrett.

我的真名是 Jarrett

And they've spelled it so wrong, so many times

他們已經拼錯好幾次了

that I started a hashtag on my Instagram.

所以我自己在 IG 上創了一個 hashtag

- What's your fake name?

- 你的假名叫什麼？

- Dilly Dilly.

- Dilly Dilly

- And your real name?

- 那你的真名呢？

- Danny Rosenberg.

- Danny Rosenberg

- So, instead of making it easier for them,

- 所以，與其讓他們跟方便，

you're actually making it harder for them.

你其實讓他們更困擾

- A little bit.

- 有一點

I like to spice up their day.

可是我喜歡給他們一點小確幸

You know, they have to say a lot of names.

他們每天都要叫很多人的名字

So, yelling out, Dilly Dilly, is kind of, I don't know...

所以大喊 Dilly Dilly 還蠻逗的

- Well, there you have it folks.

- 嗯，大概就是這些

The good.

好的

The bad.

爛的

And the awkward.

還有很尷尬的

Do you use a fake name at Starbucks?

你們去星巴克也會用假名嗎？

Let us know.

留言跟我們分享

I'm gonna get some coffee.

我要去買咖啡了

How does it feel like to be a fake Starbucks name?

你對你的名字被當作星巴克假名有何感想？

- Oh, Zack is a popular name?

- 喔，Zack 是菜市場名嗎？

- I mean, sure.

- 呃，對呀

- You know?

- 你知道嗎？

I kinda like that actually.

其實我蠻喜歡的

People are like trying to be me.

大家都想跟我一樣

Trying to use my name.

他們都想用我的名字