It's freedom like you- Here we-

這是你從未體驗過的自由...

FUCK

幹！

Hey idiot.

安安小笨蛋

You can't even chomp me. What are you, stupid?

你根本就摸不到我，怎麼樣啊小笨蛋

Yo, look at this big dumbass. Heh heh heh.

哦，快看這隻大笨蛋，哈哈

What you lookin at, stup-

你在幹嘛，笨...

...fuck

...幹

Here I go for my money move.

看我用這招來吃金幣唷！

Oh god, I'm gonna fuckin-

老天，我他媽要掉...

*Gasp* Okay!

OK！

Now, just gotta bounce onto this guy's-

然後，只要在跳到這傢伙身上...

*Gasp* Okay!

OK！

Now you just gotta jump-

接著你只要這樣跳！

ARGH, MOTHERFUCK- GET IN THERE

上啊你這小王八蛋！上去吧！

Oh, and that's as simple as that, ladies and gentlemen. Every single time.

噢，各位先生女士，就是這麼簡單，每次都能成功

Wow, that's cute.

哇，好可愛啊

They got a whole 2D section and everything. Heh heh heh.

他們弄了一整段都必須用2D模式去玩

Of course, I never play by the rules. Here we go.

當然，我從來都沒在鳥他的，開始囉

We're gonna skip the whole thing, baby. Here we go!

我們要來跳過這整段囉！寶貝，上囉！

You can't.... You can't skip it at all.

你無法...你無法跳過這一段

Here's a little trick for you speedrunners out there.

如果你想快速通關的話，這裡有一個小技巧

Uh...

嗯...

You can actually get an early Moon here if you just bounce-

你可以在剛進這關時就爬上這裡，只要這樣...

There you go and then...

就這樣然後...

Yeah and then yeah.....

對然後就...

Just gotta really concentrate...Uh... See?

這真的挺需要集中精神的...看吧

See and then here you go.

看到沒，這樣就行了

You're cutting seconds off your speed run already and you just gotta-

這樣就能為你的快速通關節省了好幾分鐘，然後你只要...

Fucking piece of shit!!

幹你他媽的

-wanna get that bird.

我要抓到那隻鳥

Gimme the- Gimme the b-

給我...把鳥鳥交出來！

Gimme the jewel!

把力量之月交出來！！！

Gimme the- Ah pfft, what?!

給我...噗...三小?!

It change directions! What the fuck?!

他居然給我轉頭了！三小啦？

How did I even get here?

我到底是怎麼上來的？

This is horrible!

豪恐怖啊

Uh oh, Mario's low on health.

喔噢，瑪莉歐沒血了

Doesn't look good for him- EH!

他看起來狀況不怎麼好...嘿！

Don't you ever fuck with me!

別他媽的想搞我

Ooh, I'm good at this one.

哦哦，這個我超會的

So what you gotta do basically is draw the perfect triangle,

基本上我們要做的就是畫一個完美的三角形

and then the lines disapp- Ooh!

然後線條就消失了

We're taking the turn a little wide.

哦，我們稍微走超過了一點點

Okay, we can fix this. We can fix this. Just gotta go-

沒關係，我們可以補救，就只要...

Now that's pretty good.

應該挺不錯的

Let's see what I got.

看看我拿幾分

Zero points?!

零分?!

Are you kidding me? No, how is-

你在跟我開玩笑嗎？他是...

How is he even calculating the points? It's broken. He's broke-

他到底是怎麼算分的？他壞了，肯定壞了

How do you get all the way over there?

你是怎麼到那種地方的？

That's impossible. You can't even go there-

不可能啊，你根本就沒辦法走過去

I figured it out! Watch and learn, boys!

我知道了，看好囉各位

TEEEEEEEE

踢~~~~~~

Watch this.

看好囉

TAAAAAAA

踏~~~~~~

This is why they call me...

這就是為什麼我會稱自己為...

...Mr. Mario.

...瑪利歐先生

Teh... heh... heeeeh....

嘿...嘿...嘿...！

Dammit! Come on!

可惡，不是吧！

Okay, this is the real one though, guys. Watch this.

好了，這次我們要來真的了，看好了

*Wheezing noise*

他...

He's-

我打敗這遊戲了

I b- I beat the game.

他...就...!@#$%...對對對

He's a- at that- that- that- yeah, yeah, yeah.

然後你就成功了...然後你就掉下去了

And then you win- And then yeah, and then-

幹！

Fuck!

哦，滑翔小子，原來你是這樣過去的啊？

Ooh, Glydon! That's how you get over there.

哦哦好吧，這樣我知道了

Oh, okay. Now- Now I figured it out.

上去啊，你這個北七恐龍

Get up there, you piece of crap dinosaur.

好吧，這傢伙爛透了

Okay, yeah. This guy sucks.

看來我們還是要用真正的方式過去了

Looks like we're gonna do it the real way, guys.

我覺得這次很有機會...

I got a good feeling about this one-

拜託...拜託！

COME ON! COME ON!

我做到了！

*Deep Breath*

你這臭屌人！你知道你浪費我多少金幣嗎幹！

I did it!

把他砍了吧，把這隻角色給砍掉吧

PIECE OF SHIT! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY COINS IT TOOK FOR ME TO GET OVER HE-

你可以幫我找到四個樂手幫忙嗎？

Killin' him off. Killin' the character off. You're out.

好喔

Do you think you could find me four musicians?

這不就有一個

Yeah.

這傢伙就一直在你後面打鼓啊

Here's one.

難道你之前都沒看過他嗎？

This guy playing drums right behind you.

好的，我們這裡該怎麼解呢

Ever see this guy before?

啵！好了我已經記住這整個關卡的布局了

All right. What are we dealing with here?

各位先生女士，見證人腦的極致力量吧！

Bop! And like that, I have now memorized the entire layout of the level.

這就是我驢子過目不忘的能力

Ladies and gentlemen, witness the power of the human mind.

我可以記住每一個細節

By utilizing my Dunkey Photographic Memory™

看好了，這是一個平台

I can remember every single detail.

砰！接下來...

Watch this. There's a platform...

幹！

Boom. Okay, now wa-

可惡，我跳太遠了！

Fuck!

嘿！

*slap* Come on, I was so far, man!

他幹走我的帽子了

Hey!

沒事兒沒事兒，反正我根本不需要那頂帽子

He stole my hat!

瞧瞧我多厲害

That's okay. I didn't even need the hat anyway.

我根本就不需要那頂帽子啊

Look how good I am.

這個比較棘手，要這樣做...耶！

00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:24,820 I don't even need the hat.

哈哈哈！

This is a tricky one. This'll get ya. You got-

這個要很小心...要非常的小心...！

Ha ha ha!

哇呼！

Gotta be care- Gotta be careful on this one!

這邊我要鄭重的展示給各位硬漢

Woohoo!

看好、學著點...看好...

Now this one is strictly for the big boys.

學...著...點...

Watch and learn. Watch and learn!

呼呼！

WATCH AND *wheeze*

好了，這關我破完了

Hoo hoo!

再會唷！凱比，掰掰

00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:45,560 Okay, I'm all done with the level. See you later, Crappy. Bye bye.

你需要那頂帽子來放力量之月...

You need the hat to put him in the thing.

我將這個稱之為...「我的栗寶技巧」

I call this my Goomba Trick.

看看我怎麼做...你們這群小王八蛋！

Look at what I do. He- You bastards!

哦哦，這個我也超會的 這裡你要做的就是...

Ooh, I'm good at this. Okay, so what you gotta do

你必須記住他的長相，然後再排出來

is you have to memorize what he looks like and then you draw him.

眼睛...眼睛肯定在這裡

Eye... The eye was definitely there.

對...好的，鼻子...鼻子

Yeah, yeah. Okay, the nose... The nose.

它是橫的還是豎的，我覺得是豎的

Was it up or was it side- I think it was up. Yeah.

我覺得是豎的，接下來當然就是嘴巴

I think it was up. And then of course, the mouth.

好了，亨亨亨

Now, hmm hmm...

又到了見證奇蹟的時刻，見證驢子過目不忘的威力吧

Witness the power... The sheer power of my Dunkey Photographic Memory.™

不，這不是我排的...

No, that's not what I did...

這裡有個派對上的小技巧...可以用來在你朋友面前秀一下

Here's a little uh... party trick to impress your friends.

你懂的，當你出門...晚上的時候...在派對上...

You know, when you're out... Late night, you're out... You're out at the party

你懂的，能夠在像是大樓屋頂上玩Nintendo Switch

You know, with the Nintendo Switch on the roof like in the commercial...

別打它，白癡喔！

Don't hit it, you i-

你只要跳過...可惡！

Just gotta jum- Goddammit.

要小心不要打破核桃

Be careful not to break the walnut-

上來了、上來了！

*gasp* There! There, there.

嘿，就只要...可惡！

Hey, just... Dammit.

這就對了！你只要把洋蔥弄過來...

Here we go. Just gotta get the onion out-

滾啦！給我滾下去啦！

Get off. Get off the thing!

給我滾下那個橡實，他媽的！

Get off the acorn. Fucking god!

對，很好...我在花生上面了

Yeah, okay. Okay. I'm on the peanut. That's the- That's the hard part.

這是最困難的部分

Now, this is the easier part. 'kay, you just gotta-

接下來要點單多了，你只要...

*slap* Oh my-

老天...

GET OFF!!

滾啦！

FUCK!!

幹！！

Okay, okay, okay. Here we go. Here we go! Heh-

好囉、好囉、好囉...上了！

YES! YES, I DID IT!

耶斯！耶斯！我辦到了！

He he he he ha ha ha ha!

哈哈哈哈哈哈

No more fucking around.

別他媽再來了

Okay guys, if I mess this one up, I'll go back to playing League of Legends. How 'bout that?

好吧，各位 如果我又搞砸了，我們就回去玩英雄聯盟

Oh, fuck...

噢靠北

I know why this isn't working.

我知道為啥這樣不管用了

I need the sombrero!

我缺一頂墨西哥帽啊！

Come on, baby. Come on. Yes!

拜託了寶貝！拜託了！

Yes! Yes!

Yes！Yes！

See? See how much faster and easier that is than the normal way.

看到沒？它可以讓你用更快更簡單的方式通關

I mean, you can never go back.

我的意思是，你用過就回不去了

[Outro]

(一般的方式)