David: *snore* Cedar.

David: *打呼* 雪松。

*snore*

*打呼*

Gwen: Goooood morning, David!

Gwen: 早－－安啊，David！

David: Goooood morning, Gwen!

David: 早－－安啊，Gwen！

David: Wait- this feels backwards..? Gwen: Yep!

David: 等等，這感覺順序倒過來了。 Gwen:是啊！

Gwen: But today's the day!

Gwen: 因為今天可是個大日子呢！

David: *gasp* You've realized your love of Camp Campbell and everything it stands for?!

David: *驚嘆* 你終於意識到 你對Camp Campbell的愛和一切事物的意義了？

Gwen: HELL NO!

Gwen: 才不呢！

David: "Help... Wanted?" Gwen: That's right.

David: "幫助...徵求"？ Gwen: 說的沒錯。

Gwen: Found a stash of cash Campbell hid in the quartermaster's store behind a box of grenades.

Gwen:我在司機老頭的倉庫裡的一盒手榴彈 後面找到了Campbell先生藏的私房錢

David: I don't know, Gwen.

David: 我不知道欸，Gwen。

Gwen: Are you sure we really need more help?

David: 你真的認為我們需要更多幫手嗎?

*window breaks*

*窗戶被打破*

*grenade hits the floor*

*手榴彈掉到地上*

Nikki: Sorry, foul ball!

Nikki: 抱歉，界外球！

Gwen: YES. *furious knocking*

Gwen: 超 級 需 要 。 *敲門聲*

???: Hello, I'm here for the job listing?

???: 嗨囉，我是來應徵的。

Gwen: OMG.

Gwen: 我的天。

Yes! This is...

Gwen: 是的！這裡是...

???: Gooood morning!

???: 早上好啊！

*breathes in and out*

*大口地呼吸*

???: Smell that fresh mountain air!

???: 聞聞那新鮮的山間空氣

???: Gosh, now that's the kind of nature you don't just find in any ol' neck of the woods.

???: 老天，這可不是你在附近 隨便找找就有的大自然呢！

Gwen: Oh dear lord no.

Gwen: 喔我的天啊拜託別。

David: Hello? ???: Oh, well, hello there friend!

David: 嗨囉？ ???: 噢，嗨，我的朋友你好啊！

???: Where are my manners?

???: 我的禮貌都去哪了？

Daniel: My name is Daniel,

Daniel: 我的名字叫Daniel，

Daniel: Your camp counselor applicant.

Daniel: 是來這裡應徵當營隊輔導員的。

Daniel: I hope I'm not too late to submit my resume.

Daniel: 希望我還不算太遲來提交我的履歷。

David: Too late? You're the first one!

David: 太遲？你是第一個來的！

Daniel: Ha! Are you pulling my leg?

Daniel: 哈！你在跟我開玩笑嗎？

David: No leg-pulling here, but we are keen on handshakes! *Eyebrow waggle*

David: 才沒有呢，不過我們喜歡握手相見！ *挑眉*

Daniel: Well, who isn't? *Eyebrows twitch*

Daniel: Well，誰不喜歡呢？ *挑眉×2*

David: The name's David.

David: 我的名字是David。

Daniel: Pleasure to meet you, David. David: The pleasure's all mine, Daniel.

Daniel: 認識你是我的榮幸，David。 David: 我才要榮幸呢，Daniel。

David: So, what sort of experience do you have?

David:所以，你有過甚麼樣的就職經驗呢？

Daniel: Well, sadly, my old camp was recently shut down.

Daniel: 這個嘛，很不幸的， 我就職的營隊最近解散了

Daniel: And ever since, I've been searching night and day

Daniel: 從那時起，我就不分晝夜地

Daniel: for a new group of eager young kiddos I can help to educate and reach their full potential!

Daniel:一直在找哪裡有一群充滿野心的孩子， 是我可以幫助教育和開發潛能的！

David: Did ya' hear that Gwen? I think we just hit the jackpot!

David: 你有聽到他說的話嗎，Gwen？ 我想我們找到最佳人選了！

David: This was a great idea! Gwen: Y'know...

David: 這真是最棒的主意了！ Gwen: 你知道嗎...

Gwen: I think now's the perfect time for me to use my vacation days.

Gwen: 我想現在是我使用特休假的完美時機了。

David/Daniel: Aw, Gwen, are you sure?

David/Daniel: 噢，Gwen，你確定嗎？

*Car drives off*

*車子開走*

David: Well, more fun for us! Come on, Daniel.

David: 好吧，更多的樂趣留給你我！ 來吧，Daniel。

David: I think you're gonna fit in here juuuust fine!

David: 我想你一定會超－－適合這裡的！

Daniel: I think so too David! I think so too...

Daniel: 我也這麼認為呢，David！ 我也這麼認為呢...

OHHHHH~

哦－－

There's a place I know That's tucked away;

我知道有一個祕境

A place where you and I can stay

可供你和我停留

Where we can go to laugh and play,

我們可以在這笑和玩

And have adventures everyday!

還可冒險每一天

I know it sounds hard to believe

我知道這聽來難以置信

But guys and gals it's true,

但我向你們保證是真的

Camp Campbell is the place for me and you!

Camp Campbell就是給你和我的最佳首選

We'll swim through lakes and climb up trees;

我們跋山涉水

Catch fish, bugs, bears, and honeybees!

抓魚，抓蟲還抓熊！

There's endless possibilities,

這裡有無限可能性，

And no, that's not hyperbole!

我可沒誇大事實！

Our motto's "CAMPE DIEM" And that means I'm telling you

我們的格言"營時行樂" 讓我告訴你－－

We've got:

我們有：

Archery, Hiking, Search & Rescue, Biking, Horseback, Training that will save you from a heart attack,

射箭、健行、搜救、自行車、馬術、 可在心臟病突襲時救你一命的訓練

Scuba diving, Miming, Keeping up with Rhyming, Football, Limbo, Science, Stunting,

水肺潛水、默劇、唱在韻腳上、美式足球、凌波舞、科學、特技表演

Pre-Calc, Spaceships, Treasure hunting, Bomb defusal, No refusal,

數學預演、太空船、尋寶、解除炸彈、不拒捕

Fantasy, Circus trapeze, and Fights, and Ghosts, and Paints, and Snakes,

童話、空中飛人、打架、鬧鬼、畫畫、還有蛇

and Knives, and Chess, and Dance, and Weights–

飛刀雜耍、西洋棋、舞蹈和舉重

It's Camp Camp!

這裡是Camp Camp！

David: And that concludes my presentation on what is, and is not, a baseball.

David: 最後結束我以上關於 甚麼是棒球，而甚麼不是的介紹

David: So, any questions?

David: 所以，有任何問題嗎？

David: Yes, Max.

David: 是的，Max？

Max: Who the fuck is that?!

Max: 那個人他媽的是誰？！

David: Why, what an excellent question!

David: 真是一個好問題！

David: Campbell campers, I'd like you all to give a warm welcome to our newest co-counselor, Daniel!

David: Campbell營的營員們，我希望你們 給我們的新營隊輔導員，Daniel，一個溫馨的歡迎！

Daniel: Howdy kiddos!

Daniel:你好啊孩子們！

Space Kid: Howdy-do Daniel!

Space kid: 你好啊Daniel！

Max: You've got to be shitting me.

Max: 你他媽一定是在跟我開玩笑吧。

Daniel: Whoa, watch the language there little fella!

Daniel: 唔哇，注意你的言行，小傢伙！

David: Watch the language indeed!

David: 沒錯，注意你的言行！

David: Just because Daniel here is new, doesn't mean you should treat him any different

David: 只因為Daniel是新來的， 並不代表你們對待他的方式

David: Than you treat me.

David: 要跟對待我有所不同。

Nikki: Got it! *splat*

Nikki: 知道了！*丟*

Max: He IS you, David! Save for the outfit.

Max: 他根本就是你啊，David！ 除了衣服不一樣而已

Max: Seriously, freakshow. What's with the cult leader getup?

Max: 說真的，怪咖，你那一身邪教領導的打扮是怎樣？

*ominous music* Daniel: You must be Max.

Daniel: 你一定就是Max了。 *令人不安的音樂響起*

I've heard aaaaall about you.

Daniel: 我知道所－－有關於你的事

Max: O..kay?

Max: 好...喔？

David: Daniel, I am SO sorry about this TERRIBLE behavior.

David: Daniel，我對他這糟糕的行為感到很抱歉。

Daniel: Oh don't you worry, co-counselor.

Daniel: 哦，用不著你擔心，我的同事。

Daniel: They're just, "raggin' on the new guy".

Daniel: 他們只是在捉弄新人罷了。

Daniel: I thought this might happen, and so for my first day as camp counselor,

Daniel: 我有想過這可能會發生，所以我有準備幾個活動

Daniel: I've prepared several exercises that are gonna help cleanse all of us

Daniel: 好讓我在新上任的第一天可以好好的

Daniel: of our negative emotions!

Daniel: 洗刷大家的負面情緒！

David: Well, that sounds WONDERFUL!

David: Well，那聽起來超棒的！

David: You kids are definitely in good hands.

David: 你們這群小傢伙可是受到了妥善的照顧呢！

David: I'll go finish up your employment paperwork.

David: 我會去完成你的就業手續。

David: In the meantime, try not to have too much fun without me!

David: 在此期間，沒有我也不要玩的太開心哦！

David: Just kidding, have all the fun you want!

David: 開玩笑的，好好玩吧！

*door slams*

*關門聲*

Daniel: Sooo, children...

Daniel: 所以，孩子們...

Daniel: Is there anybody here who has an interest in... SPACE?

Daniel: 這裡有沒有人對... 太空有興趣？

Space Kid: OOH! OOH!! Oh, me! Me!!!

Space kid: 哦！哦哦！我！我!!!

Daniel: Oh, really? Well, that's WONDERFUL!

Daniel: 哦，真的嗎？嗯，那真是太好了！

Space Kid: Yeah... I know all sorts of stuff about space.

Space Kid: 是啊......我知道所有關於太空的東西。

Daniel: Well, did you know that all negative emotions actually come FROM space?

Daniel: 嗯，那你知道， 負面情緒其實是來自太空的嗎？

Space Kid: Uh. Well, I.... No. I-I didn't.

Space Kid: 呃，這個嘛，我...不，我不知道。

Daniel: It's true!

Daniel: 這是真的！

Daniel: Our atmosphere is under constant bombardment from negative emotions tied to dark toxins!

Daniel: 我們的大氣層正被 黑暗毒素帶來的負面情緒不斷轟炸著！

*ominous music starts* Daniel: These toxins cling to the matter left over from the Big Bang,

*不祥的音樂響起* Daniel: 這些毒素是在宇宙大爆炸後餘下的。

Daniel: meaning that even if we're all pure of heart at birth,

Daniel: 也就是說即使我們都是原性本善

Daniel:we're bathing in a negative-rich environment every SECOND!

Daniel: 我們每分每秒都還是被滿滿的負能量給壟罩著！

Space Kid: Whooooaaa.

Space kid: 哇－－

Neil: Oookay, I'mma stop you right there.

Neil: 好－－，我要在這裡打斷你了。

Neil: Are you suggesting that the massive explosion responsible for the creation of the universe

Neil: 你是在暗示那場大規模的爆炸 跟宇宙的誕生有直接關係，

Neil: is also responsible for some sort of endless, radioactive evil?

Neil: 而且還跟某種無盡且具放射性的邪惡力量有關連？

Daniel: Oh, no. Not at all!

Daniel: 哦，不。才不是呢！

Daniel: The Big Bang didn't create the universe!

Daniel: 宇宙大爆炸沒有創造宇宙！

It was just a side effect of the Millenia Wars, started by Zeemuug and the Galactic Confederacy!

宇宙大爆炸只是Zeemuug和銀河聯邦 所開始的千年戰爭裡的一點小副作用而已！

Neil: Riiiight.

Neil: 對－－啦。

*violin shrieking* Daniel: You must be Neil.

*小提琴尖叫* Daniel: 你一定是Neil。

Daniel: David told me about you were quite the... inquisitive little fellow. *ominous music*

Daniel: David告訴我說 你是個相當......有求知慾的小傢伙。 *不祥的音樂*

Neil: He-hey, buddy. let's try to recognize some... personal space here.

Neil: 嘿，老兄。 讓我在這裡有一點個人空間好嗎？

Daniel: Why do you feel the need to question everything, Neil?

Daniel: 為什麼你覺得有必要質疑一切呢，Neil？

*neck crack* What good has it led to?

*喀* 這樣做對你有甚麼好處？

Well. For one, I'm not walking around, talking about "Zeemuug".

好，首先，我才不要到處 把“Zeemuug”之類的東西掛在嘴邊講。

Daniel: Buuuut, are you happy with your life?

Daniel: 但是，你對你的生活滿意嗎？

Are you at peace?

你過的安穩嗎？

Or do you find yourself filled with anxiety and doubt?

或者你發現自己總是疲憊又對人生充滿著疑惑？

Doesn't the world seem awfully scary?

這世界看起來可不是非常的嚇人嗎？

Nerf: It DOES!

Nerf: 對欸！

Well, what if I told you it didn't have to be?

那如果我告訴你有方法可以 讓這世界不一定要如此恐怖呢？

I don't really know what you're selling here, Daniel...

我真的不知道你想要說服我甚麼，Daniel...

...But I am BUYING it!

......但我已經開始相信了！

Daniel: Then help me, help you.

Daniel: 那麼幫助我，幫助你自己。

..Help others!

..幫助別人！

YEAHHH! I'M HELPING!!!!

耶！我在幫助了！

Daniel: Excellent! Now who else wants to help and reach ascension~?

Daniel: 太棒了！還有其他人 想要助人助己和揚升進程嗎？

Max: Oh my fuck, he's ACTUALLY-

Max: 噢，我的天，他其實是個－

Max: A CULTIST!

Max: 邪教徒！

YOU HIRED A FUCKING CULTIST, YOU IDIOT!

你他媽的僱用了一個邪教徒，你這白痴！

David: Whoa, whoa! What's wrong, kids?

David: 哇，哇！怎麼了，孩子們？

And why aren't you with Daniel?

還有為什麼你們沒有跟Daniel待在一起？

Oh. You mean the bat-shit crazy cult leader YOU just put in charge of the camp!?!

哦，你是說剛剛那位 你讓他管理營隊的超級瘋狂邪教領袖！？！

Again with these cult jokes, Max? Please.

又在說這些邪教笑話了，Max？拜託。

Neil: He gave everyone a "de-toxification diet", then started spouting off Latin from a book with a pentagram!

Neil: 他給了大家一個“去毒素套餐”，然後拿出一本 封面有五芒星的書開始大聲念起了拉丁語！

He's bilingual, AND cares about nutrition?

他有雙語能力，還注重營養比例？

Nikki: Hey, Daviiiid~?

Nikki: 嘿，Daviiiid〜？

David: Yes, Nikki?

David: 是的，Nikki？

WAKE UP AND SMELL THE KOOL-AID! *smack*

快醒醒然後去聞那酷愛（一種飲料）的味道！ *打*

If you don't believe us, then come see for yourself.

如果你不相信我們，那就自己去眼見為憑吧。

*BANG*

*砰*

Daniel: Well! What a pleasant surprise!

Daniel: 哇！好一個令人愉快的驚喜！

David, kids! Welcome!

David、孩子們！歡迎！

*in creepy unison* Welcome!

*令人毛骨悚然的異口同聲* 歡迎！

David: Wowzers Daniel! This all looks incredible!

David: 哇，Daniel！這看起來太不可思議了！

What's it for?

這是為了要做甚麼？

Daniel: Why, it's to celebrate, of course!

Daniel: 你問我為什麼，這當然是為了慶祝囉！

Your campers have all been SO cooperative,

你的營員都是這麼的熱心又合作無懈，

and by the end of the day, I know everyone here will be

而且我知道當今天結束時，在這裡的每個人都會

cleansed of their hateful ways and ready to ascend to the next level!

洗刷掉他們的仇恨，並準備好迎接一個新的世界！

Nikki: Heeey, where ARE the campers?

Nikki: 嘿－－，其他的營員都到哪去了？

Most are helping prepare for today's festivities,

大部分的人都在幫忙準備今天的慶祝活動，

But a few of them are still hangin' around in the Purification Sauna!

但也有少數人還在淨化桑拿那裡逗留！

David: You built a SAUNA?!

David: 你蓋了一間桑拿？！

Max: THAT IS NOT THE WORD TO FOCUS ON, DAVID!

Max: 那個才不是重點，David！

Daniel: Dolph, Nerf, why don't you show your friends to the sauna?

Daniel: Dolph、Nerf，為何不帶你的朋友們去看看桑拿呢？

So they'll quit worryin', and start hurryin'..

這樣他們才不會這麼擔心，然後可以開始...

...their way to FUN!

......趕快去玩樂！

*spooky violins*

*詭異的小提琴*

Purified!Dolph: So... who vants to go first?

Dolph: 所以......有誰想要先進去的嗎？

Preston: PLEASE! SOMEONE HELP ME!

拜託！誰來救救我！

HELP MEEEE...

救命...

Neil: I would just like to point out the fucked-up implications

我想要指出這裡很地獄的點，

of specifically YOU putting specifically ME into a gas chamber.

特別是你，把特別是我丟進一個毒氣室。

Purified!Dolph: Ah! Zis is no gas chamber!

啊！這才不是毒氣室呢！

Ve just use high-pressured steam,

我們只有使用高壓蒸氣

und subliminal messaging to deconstruct your psyche,

還有暗示你的潛意識好解構你的心靈，

und rebuild you in a form zat vill please ze Ancient Ones!

然後把你重建成會讓先知愉悅的人格！

Purified!Preston: *monotone* And I love it.

*死板音*而且我很喜歡這樣。

*gasps*

*倒吸一口氣*

Purified!Ered: Oh, hey guys.

Ered: 哦，嘿​​，伙計們。

You dudes are just in time to help prep for the killer party...

你們來的正是時候，快來幫忙準備這場超棒派對...

Purified!Nerris: Daniel says that once we've all been cleansed,

Nerris: Daniel說，一旦我們都被潔淨後

we shall consume this wonderful elixir, and ascend to our final form.

我們就能服用這個美好的靈藥，並進化成我們的最終形態。

*sips*

*啜飲*

QM: Hmm. Was better in Jonestown.

QM：嗯，沒*瓊斯鎮的好喝。

Purified!Nerris: Isn't that right, Daniel?

對吧，Daniel？

Daniel: Right you are, Nerris!

Daniel" 你說得對，Nerris！

(Screams)

Neil: MAX！做點甚麼！

Neil: MAX! DO SOMETHING!

Max: 你這個瘋子！你洗腦了整個營隊！

Max: You maniac! You brainwashed the entire camp!

“洗腦”？不不不！

Daniel: "Brainwashed"? No, no, no!

我只是先嚇嚇他們，再向他們展現了希望！

I just appealed to their emotions, and showed them the light!

人們不想思考，Max！

People don't wanna think, Max!

他們只想感到安全。

They just wanna feel safe.

感性總是比理性更重要！

And feelings beat facts, ANY day!

Daniel: 好了......難道你不想要跟他們一起有安全感嗎？

Daniel: Now... Don't you wanna feel safe, too?

David: 你們在這啊！

David: THERE YOU ARE!

我還在好奇大家都跑哪去了呢！

I was wondering where everyone had run off to!

Max: DAVID！哦，感謝上帝！

Max: DAVID! Oh, thank god!

你必須阻止他！他瘋了！

You have to stop him! He's insane!

Max，我已經受夠你今天的不良行為！

David: Max, I have had it up to HERE with your bad behavior today!

但是，證據都在這裡！就在你的眼前！

Max: But it's all right here! Right in front of you!

證明Daniel真的是一個邪教教主， 想要洗腦並殺死我們每一個人！

Proof that Daniel's actually a religious cult leader that's gonna brainwash and kill every last one of us!

N²：我們愛你，Daniel...

Purified!Neil/Nikki: We love you, Daniel...

可是我看到的都是滿溢幸福的笑臉！

David: Well, all I see are happy faces!

做的真好，Daniel！

Great work, Daniel!

Daniel: 噢，哪裡。謝了David！

Daniel: Aw, shucks. Thanks David!

好－－了，孩子們，讓我們用那碗潘趣酒乾杯！

Aaaall right kids, let's start pouring that punch!

然後準備好揚升！

And prepare for Ascension!

耶－－！

All the Purified! babies: YAAAAAY!

Max: ...好吧。如果思考真的太難，那我就用Daniel的方式。

Max: ...Fine. If THINKING is too hard, I'll do it Daniel's way.

David，你說得對。

David, you're right.

我今天一直很沒禮貌。

I've been awfully mean today.

David: 噢，沒關係的，Max。

David: Aw, it's okay Max.

我知道結交新朋友有時會有點嚇人。

I know making new friends can sometimes be a little scary.

Max: 不過，這只是因為......我很為你擔心！

Max: Well, it's just because... I was scared for YOU!

為我擔心？

David: For me?

我的意思是，Daniel很明顯地是一個比你更好的營地輔導員。

I mean, it's just so OBVIOUS that Daniel's a better camp counselor than you.

你在說什麼？

David: *nervously* What are you talking about?

看看他！在一天內，他就可以讓大家一起努力合作！

Max: Just look at him! In one DAY, he's managed to get everyone and working together!

Max: 這是你和Gwen永遠不可能做到的事。

Max: Something you and Gwen could NEVER do.

每個人都愛Daniel！

Everyone LOVES Daniel!

我們愛你，Daniel！

The Purified! children: We love you, Daniel!

這很好啊！

David: W-well, that's good!

是啊，對我們當然好，但對你呢？

Max: Well, Good for US, sure. But you?

一旦Cameron發現Daniel一個人就可以做兩個人的工作...

Once Cameron finds out that ONE camp counselor can do the job of TWO...

他絕對會辭退你和Gwen。

he's DEFINITELY gonna let you and Gwen go.

想像中的Cameron: 伙計，我真的很高興 我解僱了另外兩個失敗的輔導員！

Dream-Cameron: Boy, I sure am glad I fired the HECK out of those other two loser counselors!

我只需要你，Daniel！根本不需要其他人。

All I need is you, Daniel! And no one else.

David: 摁摁摁...

David: Nnnn..

想像中的Cameron: 我說，不需要其他人！

Dream-Cameron: I SAID, no one else.

我沒辦法想像沒有Camp Campbell的人生！

David: I can't imagine a life without Camp Campbell!

但是，Daniel才沒有這麼有威脅呢！

But, surely Daniel can't be THAT threatening!

我的意思是，又不是說每個人都愛他，對吧，Max？

I mean, it's not like EVERYONE loves him. Right, Max?

...Max？