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  • I don't know if you can tell, but I've always wished I was a big black woman.

    我不知道你能不能夠瞭解,但我一直都希望我是神力女黑人

  • I am not even kidding.

    我不是在開玩笑

  • I am not kidding.

    我絕對沒在開玩笑

  • Growing up in the Bronx, big black women, they are my heroes.

    我在布朗克斯長大,而神力女黑人對我來說就是英雄

  • Lot of kids, they worship superheroes.

    很多小孩崇拜超級英雄

  • But I was like...I don't wanna be like a hulk, I don't wanna ever turn into like a big weird green dude.

    但對我來說...我才不想當浩克,我才不要變成那又大又怪的綠色傢伙

  • I wanted to turn into a big black woman because a big black woman doesn't take shit from anybody.

    我想變成神力女黑人,因為神力女黑人才不會受任何人的鳥氣

  • I take it from everybody.

    不像我老是受一堆鳥氣

  • Right, there is a true story.

    我要講一個真實故事

  • Recently, I got shushed at a Barnes & Noble.

    最近,我在一間巴諾書店被人噓

  • Now...

    你知道現在...

  • Barnes & Noble is not a library, people...

    各位,Barnes & Noble 不是圖書館好嗎...

  • It's a store!

    它是書店!

  • Don't let the books throw you!

    別讓那一堆堆的書把你唬住了!

  • This dude sitting there, and he's reading.

    有一個傢伙坐在那看書

  • He started shush me, he's like...(Shush!!)

    然後他開始叫我安靜,就像這樣...(噓!!)

  • (slow blink)

    (慢速眨眼)

  • Then he did that slow blink, you know the slow blink you do to show you are really angry.

    然後他就做了那個慢速眨眼,你知道就是那種讓你表現出很生氣的慢速眨眼

  • Shush!! (small blink)

    噓!!(慢速眨眼)

  • The only thing angrier than the slow blink is the super fast blink.

    唯一一個比慢速眨眼看起來還生氣的就是超快速眨眼

  • (super fast blink)

    (超快速眨眼)

  • So he shushes me, and he slow blinks me.

    他噓我,而且他還對我使出慢速眨眼

  • That was enough!

    這真是夠了!

  • And what did I do?

    你知道我怎麼做嗎?

  • I back down...I back down.

    我退縮了...我退縮了

  • Cuz I was in Clark Kent mode.

    因為我正處於 Clark Kent 模式

  • Who am I kidding, I am not even as cool as Clark Kent.

    我想唬弄誰啊我,我甚至不像 Clark Kent 一樣酷

  • I am like a nebbish Woody Alleny Clark, I was like...

    我就像是沒用的伍迪艾倫版的 Clark,我聽起來像是...

  • (Woody Allen's way of talking) I am terribly sorry to...to disturb you...

    (伍迪艾倫講話結巴的樣子) 我非常抱歉打...打擾到你...

  • (Woody Allen's way of talking) I...have no idea you could read in a store.

    (伍迪艾倫講話結巴的樣子) 我...我不知道原來你可以在書店裡閱讀

  • You know... and I was thinking...

    你知道...我當時在想...

  • Imagine!

    想像一下!

  • But imagine if at that very moment, the moment this guy shushed me,

    你想像一下如果在那個時刻,那個男的噓我的時候

  • I could turn into my superhero with the snap of finger...Big Black Woman!

    我可以彈一下手指,然後變身成我崇拜的超級英雄...神力女黑人!

  • He shushed me, I would be like...

    他如果噓我,我就會說...

  • Oh! You did not just shush me, okay?

    喔!你剛剛不會是在噓我吧?

  • Excuse me!

    不好意思喔!

  • Excu...by the way, nobody does the slow blink better the big black woman.

    不好意...對了,沒有人的慢速眨眼可以做得比神力女黑人到位

  • Nobody!

    沒有人可以!

  • Excuse me! (slow blink)

    不好意思喔!(慢速眨眼)

  • Okay, I don't care if you're reading.

    好了,我不管你是不是在閱讀

  • I don't care if you're concentrating,

    我不管你是不是正專心

  • I don't care if you're trying to find out more about the topic you're interested in.

    我不管你是不是試圖找到更多你有興趣的話題

  • You do not shush a sister in the store, okay?

    你最好不要噓在這店裡的姐妹,好嗎?

  • In fact, you shush me one more time,

    我告訴你,你再對我噓一次,

  • I'm gonna beat you so bad, then I make a movie about it and call it "Tyler Perry's dead white man".

    我就會把你打得很淒慘,然後我要把它拍成電影並把它命名為 「泰勒·派瑞之死去的白人」(註:神力女黑人會打死妳的意思)

  • And then I will just shake my big black ass.

    然後我就會搖晃著我的神力大屁屁

  • I can't even...

    我甚至無法...

  • My skinny jean no ass can't even pretend to shake a big black ass.

    我緊身牛仔褲下乾巴巴的屁屁甚至無法裝成大屁屁搖晃的樣子

  • It's sad.

    這真是悲哀

I don't know if you can tell, but I've always wished I was a big black woman.

我不知道你能不能夠瞭解,但我一直都希望我是神力女黑人

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B2 中高級 中文 美國腔 神力 黑人 英雄 樣子 不好意思 生氣

埃隆-戈德 - 大黑女人(脫口秀 (Elon Gold - Big Black Woman (Stand up Comedy))

  • 471 19
    Katharina Yang 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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