Uh...

呃...

I don't know how to spell Wednesday.

我不知道怎麼拼星期三

Well James, just sound it out!

詹姆士，直接拼出來就好

Oh, okay.

噢，好吧

So...like this?

所以...是這樣嗎？

No, James. It's 'Wed-nes-day'

不是的，詹姆士，是「星－期－三」

You said sound it out, and that's how you sound it out!

你說用發音拼出來，而這就是發音拼出來的啊！

Honhonhon! You think you have it bad.

齁齁齁！你認為你的拼字很困難

'Deux' (two) is spelled with an X!

法文「二」的拼音裡還有一個 X 呢！

I think it comes to no surprise that I'm terrible at spelling.

我想我的拼音很糟糕也不是太讓人驚訝的事

I feel like everyone in life falls into two categories.

我想人類分為兩個種類

Either you're good at math and bad at reading or...

一種是數學很好但閱讀能力很差，不然的話...

...you're weird.

...你就是個怪咖

And if you've seen my other videos, you know that I'm a math boi

而如果你有看過我其他的影片，你就知道我是個數學男孩

My mom told me that I have dyslexia because she has dyslexia and I have all the symptoms.

我媽媽說我有閱讀障礙，因為她也有，而我有所有閱讀障礙的症狀

But, we never got a diagnosed by a doctor, so...

不過，我們都沒有得到醫生的診斷，所以...

...PPPFFFTTT! You can't make me take my meds, MOOOOM!

...噗！媽，妳不能逼我吃藥！

A lot of times, what I do to cover up the fact that I spell lower than a first grade level is I will purposely

很多時候，為了掩飾我拼字能力比一年級生還差勁的事實，我會故意

misspell words to the point where it's *JAMES YOU SPELLED OBVIOUSLY WRONG* a joke

將字拼錯的很誇張，像在開玩笑一樣，「詹姆士，你明顯的拼錯字了」

You thought I was doing that to be funny,

你以為我這樣做是想要搞笑，

but it's actually because I have zero self-confidence in my spelling

但事實是因為在拼字這一塊，我是一點信心都沒有

and I don't want anyone to point out my mistakes.

而且我不想要任何人點出我的錯誤

I mentioned this in a different video, but in elementary school,

我在另外一個影片中也提到過這件事，但是在小學時，

I was put into an honors program.

我被分配到實驗班

And everyone had to take spelling tests a grade ahead of their level.

每個人都必須參加高一等級的拼字考試

And by everyone, I mean EVERYONE...

而所謂的每一個人，我指的是每一個人...

...except me.

除了我以外

Because I failed every single spelling test...

因為我每一個拼字考試都不及格...

So I had to take spelling tests that were on-level.

所以我必須參加同等級的拼字考試

Eww.

討厭

Every week, when we took a spelling test I would have to move to the back of the classroom,

每個禮拜，當我們有拼字考試的時候，我就必須移動到教室後面

and the teacher would stand right next to me.

然後老師會站在我旁邊

She'd call out everyone else's word, which had like 8 syllables, like:

她會大聲唸出其他人的字，有八個音節，像是：

"Antidisestablishmentarianism"

「反－對－政－教－分－離－運－動」

Then she'd turn to me and give me my on-level word

接著她會轉向我然後給我我的同等級單字

James, your word is "cat."

詹姆士，你的字是「貓」

*sniff*

＊用鼻吸氣＊

*lip smack*

＊咂嘴＊

*sigh*

＊嘆氣＊

Also, one year, our class did a spelling bee and everyone had to participate

還有一年，我們班做了一個拼字比賽，每個人都必須參加

and like, I didn't even care that I was the first one out

而我根本不在乎自己是第一個被剔除的人

Hey, that's almost my name!

嘿，那幾乎就像是我的名字一樣！

Another thing that I mentioned in a pretty old video,

另外一件事我又在一支很早以前的影片中提到過，

is that I used to have a speech impediment when I was little.

就是我小的時候曾經患有口吃

I couldn't pronounce my R's and I talked like this

我沒辦法發出 R 的音，我說話像是這樣

I'm good now!

我現在好了！

Obviouswy.

很明險地

So every other day during school,

所以在學校的每隔一天，

I had to go to a speech therapy class.

我都必須上一個語言治療的課程

And one day, the teacher who taught me how to pwonounce my R's...

而有一天，老師教我如何發 R 的音

(I'll call her Mrs. Kool-aid)

（我稱呼她為 Kool-aid 女士）

She gave me this sheet of paper with a bunch of waindrops-

她給我一張充滿魚滴的紙

*BEEP*

＊嗶嗶＊

raindrops on it!

很多雨滴在上面！

And she said,

然後她說，

"For every raindrop on this page, say the word 'raindrop'"

「在這張紙上的每一顆雨滴，說出雨滴這個字」

But then she just left the room and I said,

不過接著她就離開了房間，而我說，

"Huh!"

「哼！」

"Well, I'm not gonna do this!"

「我才不要做這件事呢！」

I didn't say 'waindrop' a single time.

我一次也沒說「魚滴」這個字

Because, like, no one was even there!

因為，旁邊又沒人！

No one would've seen me not saying 'waindrop'!

沒有人會發現我沒在說「魚滴」！

So why would I do something that I didn't want to do?

所以我為什麼要做一件我不想做的事？

But then, the funny part is when she came back, she asked,

不過好笑的事，當她回來的時候，她問，

Mrs. Kool-aid: "Are you finished saying your raindrops?"

Kool-aid 女士：「你唸完雨滴了沒有？」

"Nnnoooo..."

「沒有...」

"Well, how many did you say?"

「那麼你唸了幾次呢？」

"I didn't say... any..."

「我沒有唸...任何一次...」

"You stupid child."

「你這個笨孩子」

I told her the truth for some reason!

不知為何我對她說了實話！

I don't know why, it was probably the easiest lie in my life to get away with.

我不知道為什麼，那可能是我生命中最能夠輕易逃避的謊言

But that's why I remember this story.

不過那也就是為什麼我記得這個故事

I'm still mad at myself for telling the truth...

到現在我都還因為當時說了實話而氣自己...

And I had to say 'raindrop' a bunch of times in front of her.

而我還必須在她面前說了很多次「雨滴」

Which meant I'd only go to the next 'waindrop' until I said it right.

那代表只有在我唸對的時候，才能夠再唸下一個「魚滴」

And it was 'TEWWIBLE'!

而那是多麼皂糕！

Weally hurt my feelings...

珍的傷了我的心...

Since I was struggling with reading and spelling, I had to get an I.E.P.

因為我在閱讀和拼音方面有困難，我必須參加個別化教育方案

An Incredible Excellent Personality!

難以置信的優秀個性！

Which meant I had to go to a special class for a little bit during school

也就是說，我必須在學校裡上一堂特殊課程

and the teacher who taught this class was none

而教導這門課程的老師不是別人

other than Mrs Kool-aid.

就是 Kool-aid 女士

*Oh ye-AH!*

「哦－耶！」

I don't know why I said it like that.

我不知道我會什麼會這樣說

I don't remember anyone ever telling me I was put into a special needs class.

我不記得任何人曾告訴我，我被分配到一個特殊需求的班級

I just remember going into speech therapy every other day,

我只是記得每隔一天就要去做語言治療，

Then those classes slowly morphed into teaching me how to read and spell.

而那些課程也逐漸地演變成為教導我如何閱讀和拼音

I don't know, I thought reading this book would've helped me talk better.

我不知道，我以為閱讀這本書會幫助我更會說話

Two other kids were in the reading class with me,

另外兩個和我一起上閱讀課的孩子

and I remember the day when reading for me just...clicked.

而我記得對於閱讀恍然大悟的那一天

Us three were given a simple sentence to read; it was about bees.

我們三個被給了一段簡單的句子來讀；是有關於蜜蜂的

It was so simple.

那非常地簡單

It was literally just:

不誇張，它就只是：

"To defend their hive from wasps, bees don't sting the wasp,

「為了保衛蜂房不受黃蜂的侵擾，蜜蜂不蟄黃蜂，

instead, they all crowd around the wasp and flap their wings

而是聚集在黃蜂的周圍拍打翅膀

to raise their body temperature, heating up the wasp, until it dies."

增高體溫，加熱黃蜂直到它死亡。」

And then Mrs. Kool-aid asked us,

然後 Kool-aid 女士問我們，

"Okay, how do bees defend against wasps?"

「好，蜜蜂是如何對抗黃蜂的？」

And the other two kids said:

然後那兩個孩子回答：

[OTHER KIDS]: "They sting them."

[其他小孩]：「它們蟄黃蜂。」

And I said,

而我說，

[JAMES]: WHAT?! No, you 'mowons'! Didn't you 'wead' this?!

[詹姆士]：什麼？！才不是呢，你們這些「百痴」！你們沒有「毒」嗎？

AAH! *James realizes what reading means*

啊！＊詹姆士意識到閱讀的意義＊

The words in this paper have meaning when placed in a certain order to convey information...

當按照一定的順序去傳達訊息時，這文章裡的詞句是具有意義的...

Also, I never want to get hugged by a bee.

再說，我永遠也不想被蜜蜂擁抱

So I was in these classes all the way until the sixth grade.

我一直待在那些班上，直到六年級

I was getting better at reading, still wasn't great..

我的閱讀越來越好，雖然還不是很棒

But, I was getting better at it.

不過我進步不少

And one day, Mrs. Kool-aid said,

然後有一天，Kool-aid 女士說

"Y'know James, you should try competing...

「詹姆士你知道嗎，你應該嘗試參加

...in the Battle of the Books."

書籍之戰的比賽。」

[James] Battle of the Books?

[詹姆士] 書籍之戰？

BATTLE OF THE BOOKS?!

書籍之戰？！

[Very Distorted] B A T T L E O F T H E B O O K S ! ?

[非常扭曲地] 書－籍－之－戰？！

FINALLY, reading sounds F U N!

閱讀總算聽起來是有趣的一件事了！

At my school, Battle of the Books was this competition

在我的學校，書籍之戰是一個比賽

where the students were given a list of four books to read within the time limit of, like...

學生們被給予四本書，必須在規定的時間內讀完，好像是...

2 months? I don't remember how long it was.

2 個月？我不記得確切的時間了

And after however many months it was

然後在那段時間之後

the contestants would sit in an auditorium and

參賽者將坐在禮堂，

take turns answering questions about the books.

輪流回答有關那些書裡的問題

And whoever got the most questions right...

答對最多問題的人...

would get a pizza party. That's where the battle part comes in.

將贏得一個比薩派對，這就是我們搏鬥的部份

We'd kill each other for pizza!

我們會為了比薩和對方廝殺！

Then, there were two more rounds, each with four more books.

接著，還有兩回合，每一回合都再有四本書

So, there was a total of twelve books you had to read.

因此，這個比賽一共要讀十二本書

And we were allowed to be with a partner. So my partner,

比賽允許結伴參加， 我的夥伴是

was TJ.

TJ

- Hey TJ, do you remember battle of the books?! - Yeah, man. It was great!

- 嘿 TJ，你記得書籍之戰嗎？！- 當然記得啊，那是個很棒的回憶

Now you're probably thinkin' that four books in two months isn't that hard,

現在你或許會想，在兩個月內看完四本書有什麼難的，

especially since they're kids books.

更何況是童書

But as someone who didn't read any books on my own outside of school, it was a challenge.

不過對於一個在學校以外一本書都不看的人來說，這的確是個挑戰

But, I discovered a way

但是，我發現了一個

to cheat the system.

跳脫制度的方法

I discovered something called

我發現一個叫做

Audio books.

有聲書的東西

Instead of having to sit still and read the book,

我不需要坐著讀書

I could just have someone read the book to me.

我可以讓某個人唸書給我聽

And I would get through the book so much faster!

而且我能夠更快的讀完它！

I'd be able to read a book in about eight hours, as opposed to read a book...

和自己讀一本書相比，我能夠在八小時之內唸完一本書...

never, 'cause I would never be able to finish a book on my own.

從來沒有過，因為我永遠無法自己完成一本書

And I was actually able to understand what was going on

而且我是真的能夠了解書的內容

I legitimately thought that listening to audio books was cheating, because of how well it worked.

由於它的效果實在太好，我合理的認為聽有聲書籍是一種作弊的行為

So, I never told anyone my secret.

因此，我從來沒有將我的祕密告訴過任何人

Until... just now...

直到...現在...

Pwease don't tell anyone!

拜偷不要告訴別人！

Also, I didn't just just turn on an audio book and start playing video games.

而且，我並不只是將有聲書打開之後就開始玩電動遊戲

No, I sat on my bed next to the CD player, and followed along with the book.

不，我坐在床上，CD播放器就在一旁，然後跟著聽書

And sometimes I even took notes.

有時候我甚至做筆記

I've wanted to talk about my love for audio books for so long.

我一直都很想討論自己對於有聲書的愛好

But, I can't.

不過，我不可以

Because then people will think I'm getting paid by a certain company, but I'm not.

因為這樣一來人們會以為我拿了某間公司的錢，但是我沒有

And I'll prove it.

而且我可以證明這一點

Instead of wasting your money on quality audio books made by professionals,

與其浪費錢在專業人士製作的優良品質有聲讀物上，

you guys should all check out Librivox.org,

你們應該去看看 Librivox.org，

where you can listen to FREE, public domain audio books,

在那裡你可以免費聽公眾領域的有聲書籍，

which means there's only old-timey classical books on it,

也就是那裡只有古早的經典書籍，

like Aesop's fables, which in my opinion is all you need!

像是伊索寓言，在我看來就是你所需要的！

Anyway, TJ and I did the Battle of the Books and for one of the rounds TJ was sick,

總之，TJ 和我一起參加了書籍之戰，而在其中一輪比賽 TJ 生病了，

so I had to answer the questions all by myself and I never forgave him for that.

所以我必須自己回答所有的問題，關於那點我是永遠都不會原諒他的

And also, the whole time I was keeping track of everyone's points,

同時，在比賽的整個過程中我記住了每一個人的得分，

And me and TJ got the most questions right.

我和 TJ 答對最多問題

My math skills are finally being useful.

我的數學才能總算派上用場

I was already craving the pizza.

我已經想吃比薩了

After the last round, the teacher said:

在最後一輪比賽之後，老師說：

"Okay I'll tally up all the points and let you all know who the winner is in a couple of weeks!"

「好的，我將計算所有的分數並且讓你們在幾個星期之內知道誰是優勝者！」

But, since I was keeping track of everyone's score,

不過，由於我記得每個人的分數，

I already knew we won. I turned to TJ and I said:

我已經知道我們贏了比賽，我轉過去和 TJ 說：

"TJ, guess what?"

「TJ，你猜猜看？」

"We already-" OH. This was the round where you were sick.

「我們已經」噢，這就是你生病的那一場比賽

How did I not notice that until just now?

我怎麼到現在才注意到？

But then, a couple of weeks go by and I'm not hearing any news about a pizza party.

不過幾個禮拜過去了，我還是沒有聽到任何有關比薩派對的消息

I was expecting to walk in the class one day,

我期待著有一天當我走進教室時，

and there would just be a pile of pizza boxes waiting for me.

在那裡會有一堆的比薩盒子在等著我

But, that never happened.

但是，那並沒有發生

The teacher in charge of the competition was the librarian.

負責比賽的老師是圖書館館長

So one day, I went up to her and I asked:

所以有一天，我去問她：

"Soo, uh, did you ever say who won the Battle of the Books?"

「呃，所以妳有公佈書籍之戰的贏家是誰嗎？」

Uhh, also my favourite pizza is barbeque chicken!

呃，還有我最喜歡的比薩口味是燒烤雞肉！

And she said:

然後她說：

"Oh, these two fifth graders won."

「噢，是兩個五年級生贏得比賽」

So, the Battle of the Books was for both fifth and sixth graders.

所以，書籍之戰是給五年級和六年級生參加的

I was a sixth grader, so I went to all the sixth grader battles.

我當時是六年級，所以我參加了所有六年級的賽事

But, apparently…

不過，很明顯的...

there was some low-life, fifth grader who got every single question right

有幾個卑鄙的五年級生答對所有的問題

and stole my PIZZA PARTY! >:(

並偷走了我的比薩派對！

And that taught me a valuable lesson:

而那教會了我寶貴的一課：

Even when you work hard you don't always get what you want in life. But that's okay.

人生在世，儘管你非常地努力，也並不能夠總是得到你想要的結果，不過那也沒關係

Because one day,

因為有一天，

*INHALE*

＊吸氣＊

You'll be an adult, you can buy all the pizzas you want,

你會長大成人，你可以買所有你想吃的比薩

without having to read first!

而且還不用先讀書！

*NOM*

＊嚼＊

*clears throat*

＊清喉嚨＊

[Madz pretending to be James]: Hello there, any of you down for a game of soccer-

[Madz 佯裝成詹姆士]：哈囉大家，你們有人想要玩英式足球嗎

I- I mean, football? This is a hundred percent James!

我是說，足球？這是百分百的詹姆士！

This isn't someone else doing the endcard, this is me.

這不是其他人在做結束，這是我

This is James! *chuckles*

這是詹姆士！＊咯咯笑＊

I would never ask someone else to make an endcard for me 'cause I was too lazy!

我絕對不會因為偷懶而叫某個人來替我做結束！

Heheheh!

嘿嘿嘿！

You guys should check out my channel, G- Get- GetMadz?

你們應該去看看我的頻道，G- Get- Getmadz?

GetMadz? Am I pronouncing that right?

GetMadz? 我的發音正確嗎？

He helps me edit my videos for my second channel.

他幫助我編輯我第二個頻道的影片

That's right, I have a second channel,

沒錯，我有第二個頻道

with a total of... s- six videos!

一共有... 六－六支影片！

Count 'em 6! 6 videos!

算算看 6！6支影片！

And also, as per usual...

並且，按照慣例...

I need to thank my colourers who made this video look absolutely amazing. Thanks guys!

我必須感謝替這支影片上色的人，看起來很棒，謝謝你們！

I appreciate it.

我由衷感激

Everyone go watch these guys' videos

大家去看這些人的影片

for a solid 4000 hours, including Madz...

一共有 4 千小時的影片，包含 Madz...

Ma- Madz!

Ma-Madz!

a- and as always... (What does James say for his outros again?)

而-而一如往常的...（詹姆士都是怎麼說的呢？）

Strap up if you're going on a bumpy ride!™

如果你要行經一個顛簸的旅程，請捆綁好自己!

Wait, tha- that's not it at all...

等等，不－不是這樣說...

Buckle up!

繫好安全帶！

Wait, no, that's way too American

等等，不是，這樣太美式了

E- Oh yeah!

噢對了！

Wear your seatbelt!

請繫好你的安全帶！