Crying like a baby.

我哭得像個嬰兒

Bikers, joggers, tourists, runners, they went by me,

騎單車的、慢跑的、遊客、跑步的人都一一經過我身旁

police officers searching for suicidal people went by me twice

警察在找意圖自殺的人時，經過我旁邊兩次

I'm standing at the ledge leaning over the rail with tears flowing down to the waters

我就站在橋架上，緊貼著欄杆，任憑眼淚落入水中

and I thought to myself; absolutely nobody cares

我告訴自己，根本沒有人在乎

and then the voice in my head said ''jump now'', and I did.

然後腦袋裡面出現一個聲音說「跳下去」，我就跳了

And the millisecond that my hands cleared the rail my legs flew over it

那一瞬間我的手越過了欄杆，雙腳也翻了過去

it was an instant regret

而我馬上就後悔了

the depression was wiped from my mind

所有的憂鬱低落都消失無蹤

And all I wanted to do was live, and I thought it's too late.

取而代之的是想活下去的意念，但我認為已經太遲了

Kevin Hines was 19 when he jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge.

Kevin Hines 在 19 歲時跳下金門大橋

He is one of the many incredible people that I've been grateful to meet over the past three weeks

他是我這三週以來遇到的其中一位很棒的人，我也很感激

as I aim to further understand the complexities surrounding suicide.

因為我想更加了解關於自殺的複雜原因

And I know I've made mistakes.

我知道我做錯事情

I know I've let people down.

我知道我讓大家失望了

But what happens when you're given an opportunity to help make a difference in the world?

但是當你得到一個能夠改變世界的機會時，結果會如何呢？

The backlash against the social media star,

最近出現一陣風波

very popular guy called Logan Paul is in some hot water ...I think he is complete and utter insensitive idiot.

一個叫做 Logan Paul 的網紅踢到了鐵板，我覺得他完全是個徹底無腦的白痴

Taking a break from daily vlogging. Even he says his latest content was his biggest mistake.

他不再每天更新影片。連他自己都承認最近一期的內容是他犯過最大的錯誤

I wanna apologize to the victim, and his family.

我想對受害者以及他的家屬道歉

It's time to learn from the past as I get better and grow as a human being, I'm here to have a hard conversation

為了變成更好的人，我要向過去學習。雖然這很難以啟齒

so that those who are suffering can have easier ones.

但為了安撫那些受苦的人，我願意嘗試

- So I've never been so humbled in my life by a single event. - Were you kind of shocked by it?

- 我這輩子從來沒因為單單一件事情而如此慚愧過。- 你很意外嗎？

I was shocked to discover just how big this is.

我很意外這件事竟然這麼嚴重

You've never known anybody that killed themselves? - No one, no one. That was, that was, that was part of the problem

- 你這輩子沒有認識任何自殺的人嗎？- 沒有，這就是其中一個問題

Just my ignorance on the subject.

我對這個議題太無知

But in Ohio where you come from it's the second leading cause of death

但你來自俄亥俄州，自殺是那裡排名第二的死因

And I know while I'm not able to solve the problem by myself.

我知道我沒辦法自己解決這個問題

I want to be a part of the solution. And that solution began across the country in New York City

但我想盡一份力。而我將從紐約開始解決這個問題

We sat down with Dr. John Draper, director of the National Suicide Prevention lifeline.

我們找到了全國預防自殺生命線的主任，John Draper 博士

We have to change the conversation

我們必須先把大眾對於

publicly from just focusing on

這個議題的關注

suicide and how something bad is happening, and say 'What do we do about it?'

從自殺是件不好的事，而去問「我們該怎麼做？」

Help people understand that the first thing they need to do is

變成讓他們了解到，他們首先要做的事情是

reach out and talk to somebody when they're feeling in despair, because you're not alone with anymore.

去找那些情緒低落的人，跟他們說說話，跟他們說他們不再是孤單一人

They've done studies with people who are experiencing any kind of pain including hanging off a cliff.

研究顯示對於那些正在受苦、甚至是掛在懸崖的人而言

You could hold on a lot longer if somebody is right there with you.

有人陪伴在他們身邊，可以讓他們撐更久的時間

I think as a society, as human beings, we just have to be more compassionate and that includes me too.

我覺得身處於人類社會中，人們只是需要多一點的同理心，包括我也是

That's something I'm learning along this journey, and something else that

這是我在這趟旅程中學到的

Dr. Draper told me were the 5 Steps that anyone can take to help prevent suicide.

我還學到 Draper 博士教授的預防自殺五步驟

Step 1 is simply just ask. Ask yourself, ask others

第一步，提問。問你自己或問問別人

Are you thinking about suicide. And I know that sounds like a daunting question,

「你想自殺嗎？」我知道聽起來這不容易

but literally that question can save lives.

但這真的能夠救人一命

Step 2: accordingly would be to listen. Be present, don't make any judgments.

第二步，傾聽。陪在他們身旁，不做任何評論

And then Step 3 would be, be there for them even after you've already asked because

第三步，待在他們身邊，就算你已經問過他們第一個問題了

dependability is key. Step 4 is then help them connect,

但你的可靠性是關鍵因素。第四步是幫助他們建立連結

ah whether it's with a friend, a family member or a local suicide hotline therapist.

無論是跟朋友、家人或是自殺專線聯絡

But help them reach out to someone so they don't have to deal with this alone.

讓他們有個對象可以協助處理，而不用獨自面對

Lastly, Step 5 is just checking on them, show them that you care. Call them up say "hey

最後，第五步就是時常關心他們，讓他們知道你是在乎的，打電話告訴他們

"I want to make sure you're okay"

「嘿，我只想知道你過得還好嗎」

"Can I check in with you over the next few days?".

「最近幾天保持聯絡好嗎？」

So one of the things that is so important about reducing stigma is

減少自殺傾向的要點之一

getting stories out there about people positively coping with suicide.

就是去了解某些人們是如何正向地處理自殺問題

Do you guys know anyone I could talk to with the lived experience of suicide?

你知道我要去哪裡找有過自殺經驗的人嗎？

Absolutely, we have quite a number of people that we could deliver over to you, yeah.

當然，我們有很多人可以介紹給你

- That'd be great. - Yeah. - And that's how we got introduced to Kevin Hines

- 那太好了。- 是啊。- 這就是我遇見 Kevin Hines 的原因

17 years ago Kevin jumped off of the Golden Gate Bridge and survived.

17年前 Kevin 跳下金門大橋後活了下來

These are individuals whose stories when people hear them, they say "you know, maybe I can get through".

當人們聽到這些人的故事後，會說：「也許我也能撐過去」

As opposed to hearing the stories when people have it.

比起那些沒有成功活下來的案例

an-an- and those...unfortunately, those are the stories that we've heard before.

但不幸的是，我們聽到的幾乎都是悲劇案例

Now we're hearing more and more stories of people being more open about it.

現在我們可以聽到更多對於這方面保持開放態度的案例

As I was saying before, Logan, for every one person that dies by suicide,

就像我先前說的，Logan，每一人死於自殺時

there's 287 other people that think seriously about it

有另外 287 人也在認真考慮自殺

But don't. Those are stories again that have not been told if we told those stories

別這麼做。有很多大家不知道的成功克服自殺案例

of people who got through it as opposed to one who didn't

比起那些失敗的，如果我們多加推廣這類成功案例

Imagine what kind of influence that would have on people's behavior

想像一下這可能改變多少人的行為

When I found out that one in six high school kids seriously think about suicide.

當我發現有六分之一的高中生都有自殺意圖時

- That's that's stunning. - Yeah. - This is such a common problem.

- 那很驚人。- 對。- 這是一個很普遍的問題

Logan all I wanted

Logan，當時我想要的只是

Was for one person to look me in my eyes

一個人能夠看著我的雙眼

Say "hey kid are you okay"?

說「孩子，你還好嗎？」

I am so grateful to be alive

我很感謝我活下來了

And I'm grateful today.

我也很感謝今天

For every millisecond I get to breathe

感謝能夠呼吸的每一毫秒

Cuz it was almost all ripped from me by me.

因為這些東西原本都差點被我自己給剝奪

What's one thing you would have said to your younger self to the Kevin who was 19?

如果你能告訴以前的自己，那個 19 歲的 Kevin 一件事，你會說什麼？

Sitting on the bus if you were next to you and instead of the guy who pointed and laughed

如果在公車上，坐在當時的你身旁的是現在的你，而不是某個對你指指點點的人

What would you say

你會說什麼？

I would just put my hand on the sh-

我會把我的手放在...

I'll just put my hand on my shoulder and

我會把我的手放在我的肩膀

I would just say I'm here for you. I got you

然後說：「我在這裡，別擔心」

We need to be a society that comes together for every person in the community that's going through hell.

為了那些正在受苦的人，我們應該要讓這個社會更加緊密團結

In order to do that, every person that's going through hell, whatever hell,

為了達成這樣的願景，每個正在受苦的人，不管是什麼樣的痛苦

has to be honest about their pain.

都要誠實面對這些苦痛

And if they're gonna be honest about their pain

如果人人都能誠實面對自己的心魔

We are going to collectively

我們就能集體

Answer the call and be there for that individual.

回應他們的求救，並且陪伴在他們身邊

Cause if you don't see beauty in the next person you meet,

因為若是你無法在下一個遇見的人身上感受到美好

you're not looking hard enough.

就代表你不夠用心去感受

You're incredible dude. This is an honor for me.

你太棒了，兄弟。我真的很榮幸

It's an honor for me too brother

我也很榮幸

From this point on I want to make an effort to contribute and immerse myself in the conversation,

現在開始，我想要做些付出和貢獻，並且更加深入了解這個議題

so I'm pledging to donate 1 million dollars to various suicide prevention organizations

所以我將捐出一百萬美金給各個自殺防治機構

with the first $250,000 going immediately to the National Suicide Prevention lifeline,

其中的二十五萬會直接給全國預防自殺生命線

so they can increase their capacity to help those in need

讓他們有更多能力去幫助有需要的人

For anyone watching I want you to know you are not alone and most of the time crisis passes

我想告訴正在看影片的你，你不孤單，大部分的難關都會過去的

So if you or anyone you know feels alone or trapped I encourage anyone to call or even text a suicide or crisis hotline

如果你或是你身邊的人在孤軍奮戰或是身陷低潮，我希望你們都能勇敢求助或是撥打自殺防治專線

Both of those numbers are below. And although this is a tough conversation,

影片下方有電話號碼。我知道這不容易

it's important because things can and will get better.

但若是你勇敢求助的話，情況一定會好轉的

It's time to start a new chapter in my life as I continue to educate both myself and others on suicide

在我和其他人一起探討自殺議題時，我的人生也開啟了新的一頁

I'm humbled and thankful to say

我必須謙卑並且感謝地說

- You are not alone. - This is just the beginning.

- 你不孤單。- 這才剛開始

call 1-800-273-8255

請撥打 全國預防自殺生命線