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So you're going to make me
guess your name?

Are you following me?
I was actually just going
to ask you the same thing.

Okay. Look, you're hot.
I may resist for a while, but we
both know eventually I'll give in.

So why don't we just skip that.
Why don't you put a baby in me?
- Now.
- You know, honestly...

I was thinking dinner first.
But we could try the
baby thing, if you want.

You are trying. Way too hard.
Trying's the best part.
- Summer.
- Hi.

I was hoping we'd see you here.
I couldn't sleep last
night. I am so excited.

Hey, it's your day today, Summer.
- Oh, thank you.
- You're welcome.

Hey, fresh face. You
here for the qualifiers?

Uh, no, no, I'm not trying out.
I'm actually already on the team.
You're already on this team?
I'm Matt Brody. Ready for duty.
"Ready for duty"? Oh, okay.
Um, you got any papers
or anything like that?

I do. There you go.
Oh, it's a permission slip.
Literally. "Dear Mitch,

"I am pleased to write you
on behalf of Mr. Matt Brody."

- Right. Well, no free passes.
- Yeah. Whoa.

At all. Yeah, 'cause I don't give a shit.
I legit needed those for my taxes.
What you need is to understand that
if you're going to be on this team,

- you got to earn it.
- Really?

Yeah. So, why don't we
start this whole thing over,

just like gentlemen?
Where you from, One Direction?
Um... Iowa?
- Iowa?
- You heard of it?

Yeah, I know what it is.
- Hey, Steph.
- Hey.

New Kids on the Block here is from Iowa.
Oh, man.
And, uh, he says he's already on the team.
- Yeah.
- Doesn't have to try out.

- Really?
- Yeah, absolutely.

Let me ask you this...
A lot of oceans in Iowa?

No, just ponds and lakes and
cocky pretty boys, apparently.

Uh-huh. Cocky pretty boys.
Hey, Mitch, what happened to that
last pretty boy recruit we had?
- He died.
- R.I.P.

Are you guys being serious right now?
I honestly can't tell.
You show up here, matching bathing suits.
What is this, "lifeguard hazing"?
I'm Matt Brody.
I hold the world record in the 200 meter.
Two gold medals.
- Hey! Matt Brody.
- Matt Brody.

Yes, yes.
Absolutely. And we still
- don't give a fuck.
- Don't give a fuck.

No, fresh out. Fresh out of fucks. Yeah.
Okay, that ocean out there has riptides
that'll tear your little mangina in two.
My mangina?
So you are being serious.
Dead serious, right now, NSYNC,
all right?

This ain't no little
fucking pond out of Iowa.

So with all due respect,
you want to be here on
this team, on our team,

you're gonna have to earn it.
Look, I get it.
You're big, Sasquatch.
But I'm fast.
Really fucking fast.
Which is why somebody
important thinks I belong here.

So when you two figure
out who the fuck I am,

you can find me on the beach.
See you.
Did that really just happen?
- It did. He slapped me.
- Wow.

Yeah. His hands were
soft and supple though,

- like a woman. No offense.
- None taken.

You know what, man? I gotta tell you,
I'm feeling really good about this year.
You know what I'm saying?
Good luck out there, man. Good luck.
Thanks.
And if you need some extra motivation...
- Looking at it right there.
- Hey...

You okay? Help! C.J., help!
My friend is choking! Help!
No, not C.J. Not C.J. No, no!
Are you okay? You're choking.
Oh, God.
Are you okay?
- Ronnie.
- You're gonna be just fine.

What?
Ah! Thank you!
- Ronnie, are you okay?
- Oh, yeah.

Are you sure?
Yeah, yeah. No, don't touch, don't touch.
Okay.
I'm so good. You did good, good, good work.
Good job. Thank
you, you can go now.

Okay, um, drink some water...
- Thank you so much. Okay.
- ...I guess.

- Dave?
- Yeah.

- How does it look?
- How does what look?

Down there.
Does not look good at all.
Yeah, what does it look like?
Looks like your dick is trapped
between two slats of wood.

Okay, I just... Fuck,
I can't reach it.

I just need you to get down
there and just pop it out.

No, I can't do that at all.
Come on, I just need
you... You grab that dick

- and you push it out.
- No, no.

Okay. Hi.
I'm going to help you.
We're going to deflate the
situation together. Okay?

- Okay.
- Focus.

Think about things that turn you off.
Maybe like, um... Like
your grandma's underwear?

- Mmm-mmm. Not working.
- No? Okay, cool.

- Maybe, like...
- Ostriches.

- Guys, still stuck.
- Mitch, hey, need you.

No, no, not Mitch. Don't bring Mitch over.
- Hey.
- Hey, Mitch is here.

Ronnie, you pumped about
the qualifiers, buddy?

You know it, man. I'm
just, um... I'm really...

Really excited to quit my
double major in robotics

and computer science and really,
really do something with my life.

You don't need to look down there.
Do not touch me right now.
- Not even touching you.
- Okay.

Wow. Okay.
Looks like you got your
beef and your biscuits

stuck down there.
It's gonna be okay. I've
been through it, too.

- Not a big deal.
- Really?

Yeah, absolutely. I was stuck
in a woman for hours once.

Couldn't get out.
- Totally the same, yeah?
- It's the same thing.

Stuck junk is stuck junk.
Stuck junk
is stuck junk. Okay.

All right, buddy, we're gonna have
to, uh, flash-freeze your johnson.

No, no, it's okay, it's okay, I got it.
Look, it's okay.
- Oh, my God.
- Nope. Still stuck.

I mean, if you think about
it, it's a good thing, right?

Congratulations.
Hey, uh, how you feeling, sport?
Better, but could we get
some sort of perimeter going for the crowd?
Nah. Nobody's looking. Just us.
God, you're lying. That's a lot of people.
Mitch, I can't get the swelling to go down.
All right.
We're going to have to pull it out.
- Pull it?
- Yeah.

- Just like pulling a tooth.
- What?

Don't you touch my dick!
I'm okay.
Ronnie, are you okay?
Yeah, no, I'm good. I'm good.
I'm proud of you, Ronnie.
Fuck you, Dave.
You're my worst friend.

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英語學習基礎 (Learing english through a film with subtitle)

115 分類 收藏
lwxkbob 發佈於 2018 年 1 月 23 日
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