Let's get started.

Stewie, what are you doing?

And why are you dressed like that?

Because I'm your driver's ed instructor, Brian.

You're what?

That's right.

I heard you lost your license, and I'm

going to help you get it back.

Um, OK.

Now, we've got a lot to cover.

But first, let's watch a safety video

designed to terrorize you into being a responsible motorist.

[dramatic music]

Come on, kid with a bright future.

I'll give you a no-seat-belt car ride

after this teen kegger party.

I don't know.

I'm going to Harvard-Yale tomorrow.

I'd hate to lose it all because of making poor choices.

Oh, come on, man.

I just had a couple of alcohol beers.

And I'm his girlfriend, 'cause he has great genitals.

And I'm impressed with reckless behavior,

so I'm going to reward him with my mouth when he's driving.

Now, let's smoke a marijuana cigarette while I'm

speeding because of a dare.

Hey, careful.

I'd hate for you to be unresponsive to my pleasuring

while you're driving because of intoxication.

BRIAN: Stewie, is this about anything but oral stuff

while you're driving?

STEWIE: It's about all facets of driving safety, yes.

BRIAN: I'm gonna fast-forward.

[fast-forwarded speech]

[dramatic music]

What a waste.

I'm a grizzled "seen it all" veteran cop,

and I'm shaking my head at the senseless waste.

Sir, we've done our police tests.

The driver was being mouth-pleased

at the moment of impact.