a range of markers of emotional health and imagine how we fare in relation to them. At

特定的情緒指標，並了解自己與它們的關係

least four central themes suggest themselves. Firstly Self-Love. Self-love is the quality that determines

有至少四個指標。第一是愛自己的程度。它決定我們

how much we can be friends with ourselves and, day to day, remain on our own side. When

能和自己做朋友的程度，並持續站在自己這邊

we meet a stranger who has things we don't, how quickly do we feel ourselves pitiful – and

當我們看到陌生人擁有自己沒有的物品時，我們多快為自己感到可憐

how long can we remain assured by the decency of what we have and are? When another person

我們花多久時間對自己所擁有的物質和成為的人感到安心？

frustrates or humiliates us, can we let the insult go, able to perceive the senseless

當他人讓我們厭煩或難堪，你可以不把它當回事，察覺攻擊背後沒意義的惡意

malice beneath the attack – or are we left brooding and devastated, implicitly identifying

還是讓惡意滋長，感到自己被擊倒，隱約承認

with the verdict of our enemies? How much can the disapproval or neglect of public opinion

敵人的見解？過去經驗裡有多少次你因為少數人的公然否定或忽視

be offset by the memory of the steady attention of few significant people in the past? In

影響你原本安定的自我平衡？

relationships, do we have enough self-love to leave an abusive union? Or are we so down

在感情中，我們有沒有足夠的自我關愛離開被霸凌的關係？或是我們看不起自己

on ourselves that we carry an implicit belief that harm is all we deserve? In a different

隱約認為自己只值得受到傷害？換個角度

vein, how good are we at apologising to a lover for things that may be our fault? How

在情感中犯錯後你是否能好好道歉？

rigidly self-righteous do we need to be? Can we dare to admit mistakes or does an admission

我們需要多少自負感？我們敢不敢承認錯誤，還是因罪惡感

of guilt or error bring us too close to our background sense of nullity? In the bedroom,

和錯誤本身讓我們麻痺自己？在床上

how clean and natural or alternatively disgusting and sinful do our desires feel? Might they

我們的慾望是乾淨自然還是另類噁心且充滿罪惡？

be a little odd, but not for that matter bad or dark, since they emanate from within us

會不會覺得這樣有點奇怪，這麼黑暗的東西，竟然會從我們內心散發出來

and we are not wretches? At work, do we have a reasonable, well-grounded sense of our worth

好像我們是個壞蛋。工作上，我們會不會感受到合理有根基的自我價值

– and so feel able to ask for (and properly expect to get) the rewards we are due? Can

而認為有能力要求(並期望得到)應得的獎勵？

we resist the need to please others indiscriminately? Are we sufficiently aware of our genuine contribution

我們能否抵擋想瘋狂取悅他人的慾望？我們是否充分了解自己真誠的付出而勇敢說不？

to say no? Candour Candour determines the extent to which difficult ideas and troubling

坦率　坦率決定了困擾的思緒能夠

facts can be consciously admitted into the mind, soberly explored and accepted without

被意識到的程度，它是否能清醒地被發現並且被接受而非自我否認

denial. How much can we admit to ourselves about who we are – even if, or especially

我們能夠承認自我的程度有多高，即使（特別是）

when, the matter is not especially pleasant? How much do we need to insist on our own normality

當事情不是很光彩？我們有多麼需要堅持自我維持常態

and wholehearted sanity? Can we explore our own minds – and look into their darker and

和全心投入的清醒？我們能否探索自我心靈，並深入自我更黑暗

more troubled corners without flinching overly? Can we admit to folly, envy, sadness and confusion?

更擾人的角落，而不會過度感到反感？我們能否承認自己的愚蠢、忌妒、悲傷，和困惑？

Around others, how ready are we to learn? Do we need always take a criticism of one

在他人身邊，我們會從他人學習的程度？我們是否每次都把對自己的

part of us as an attack on everything about us? How ready are we to listen when valuable

部分攻擊視為對我們全身的攻擊？我們是否準備好接受有價值的

lessons come in painful guises? Communication Can we patiently and reasonably put our disappointments

教訓，即使很不中聽？溝通　我們能否有耐心且合理地把失望轉換為文字

into words that, more or less, enable others to see our point? Or do we internalise pain,

讓他人多少了解自己？還是我們內化傷痛

act it out symbolically or discharge it with counterproductive rage? When other people

把它演出來或是讓它以怨氣的方式引爆？當他人令我們沮喪

upset us, do we feel we have the right to communicate or must we slam doors and retreat

我們是否覺得有需要溝通，還是用力甩房門，自己生悶氣？

into sulks? When the desired response isn't forthcoming, do we ask others to guess what

當期望的反應沒有發生，我們是否讓他人猜測

we have been too angrily panicked to spell out? Or can we have a plausible second go

我們當時太慌亂而沒有傳達的怨氣？還是我們給他第二次機會

and take seriously the thought that others are not merely being nasty in misunderstanding

認真想想他人誤解我並非他的錯

us? Do we have the inner resources to teach rather than insist? Trust How risky is the

我們的內心是否會自我教導而非自我堅持？信任　這個世界存在多少風險？

world? How readily might we survive a challenge in the form of a speech, a romantic rejection,

我們能否撐過挑戰，不管是演說、情感上被拒絕、

a bout of financial trouble, a journey to another country or a common cold? How close

經濟困難、到異地旅遊，或是平常的感冒

are we, at any time, to catastrophe? What material are we made of? Will new acquaintances

我們有多少機率遇上災難？我們是什麼物質組成的？新接觸的人會喜歡

like or wound us? If we are a touch assertive, will they take it or collapse? Will unfamiliar

還是傷害我們？當我們有一些自信時，新朋友會接受我還是消滅自信？

situations end in a debacle? Around love, how tightly do we need to cling? If they are

不熟悉的環境會不會變成災難？感情中，我們需要把它抓多緊？他們有點疏離時

distant for a while, will they return? How controlling do we need to be? Can we approach

會回到我們身邊嗎？我們要控制到什麼程度？我們可以接近

an interesting-looking stranger? Or move on from an unsatisfying one? Do we, overall,

看似有趣的陌生人嗎？還是逃離不滿意的情人？我們，大致上來說

feel the world to be wide, safe, and reasonable enough for us to have a legitimate shot at

覺得世界是廣、是安全，並讓我們有個很大的機會

a measure of contentment – or must we settle, resentfully, for inauthenticity and misunderstanding?

達到自我滿足，還是我們勢必得充滿憎恨地認為現實世界是不真誠和充滿誤解？

It isn't our fault or, in a sense, anyone else's that many of these questions are

這些問題，如果很難給予肯定的答案

so hard to answer in the affirmative. But, by entertaining them, we are at least starting

並非你我的錯。但是透過練習，我們至少知道

to know what kind of shape our psycological wounds have and so what kind of bandages might be most necessary.

內心傷口的樣貌，還有我們需要的解藥種類

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